Ruined by You (18 page)

Maybe this is a mistake?

“I’m not safe,” I said. “I’m damaged goods.” I bit my lip. “I’m not that
thing
.”

He took another slow step forward. He was pressed right up against me now, and it took my every effort to stand my ground. Half of me wanted to turn and run, again. There was safety in that. Putting up my walls and isolating myself was what I knew. But the other half wanted to fall into him. That half wanted him to wrap his arms around me and whisk me off somewhere safe.

Haden’s hand brushed my cheek. He was so soft, so gentle.

“You don’t have anything to be afraid of,” he said. “I’m not going to let you down.”

I took a deep breath and looked him dead in the eye. I wanted to run away with him. Maybe we could hide in a place that nobody could find, a place that my ghosts couldn’t haunt. He deserved to know the truth. He’d done the same for me. I owed it to him, even if it meant that he wanted nothing to do with me afterward.

I opened my mouth, determined to tell him everything. But, something stopped me.

A yellow cab swerved into the parking lot. It looked very out of place at a bar in the middle of the day. It pulled up right next to us, coming to a stop only a few feet away.

The door opened and a leg appeared, wearing skinny jeans and white loafers. There was some talking inside the car as the bill was settled, and then the man climbed out. He had a duffel bag in one hand.

He was tall, gangly. His legs were wiry, and his arms long. He had thick blonde hair that seemed to bloom in the front. Huge sunglasses covered most of his face. He looked like he came straight out of an Instagram picture--like his life was one walking, talking, social media commercial.

He eyed the two of us, his lips parting in a toothy smile.

“Well, look what we have here,” he said.

Who was this guy? I glanced at Haden and saw a look of unbridled disgust. Whoever he was, Haden wasn’t very happy to see him.

“Kyle,” Haden said, through clenched teeth. “What on earth are you doing here?”

The man lowered his sunglasses and peered over them.

“Took me a month to track ya down, and that’s the greeting I get?”

Haden’s eyes flashed, dangerously, and the sinking feeling in my stomach threatened to drag me down with him.

“How did you find me?” Haden said, his voice tight.

The man pushed the sunglasses back on his face, and dropped the duffle bag on the ground. He strolled a few paces closer, casually. He stepped in a way that made me wonder if his feet held the ground in contempt.

“Zoe still has access to the American Express,” he said, as if that explained everything. He did a quick spin, taking in the lay of the land. “How the hell did you find this shit hole, anyway?”

“It’s
not
a shit hole,” Haden said, sharply. “Why are you here?”

The man eyed Haden for a long second. “It’s time to get back to work, partner,” he said. “You didn’t forget about our little…”

“I didn’t forget,” Haden said, quickly, cutting him off. He glanced at me, nervously, but I was too startled to read into it.

The man’s head swiveled between the two of us for a second, as though seeing me for the first time.

“Well, ain’t ya gonna introduce me?” he said.

Haden’s jaw flexed for a split second.

“Maggie, this is Kyle,” he said, finally. “He’s the slimy worm I used to call my best friend.”

Best friend?

I looked at Kyle, nervously. He turned his toothy smile on me. For some reason it made me feel dirty. He lifted a hand and wiggled his fingertips at me. I tried to return his smile, but it probably looked more like a cringe.

“Nice to meet you,” I said, my voice a whisper.

“Charmed,” he said, flicking his raised hand, dismissively. “Well, it’d be a shame to stand outside a bar all day when we could be inside having a drink,” Kyle said. “Shall we?”

Haden flinched, again.

“It’s not a good time,” he said.

“We have things to discuss,” Kyle said. I felt his eyes shift to me, even though I couldn’t see them. “We can do it here, if you’d prefer?”

The muscles in Haden’s arm tensed. It was a slight thing, but I noticed it. His eyes narrowed on Kyle, as though he were weighing a decision in his head. Then, he turned to me, his features softening.

“Can we do this another time?” he asked, his voice all but a whisper. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Kyle’s smile widen.

I nodded. “Of course,” I whispered back at him.

Relief eased into Haden’s face.

“Can I see your phone?” he asked, his voice still low.

I frowned. “My phone?” I asked, confused.

His eyes darted toward my purse, and he nodded. I pulled the phone out and handed it to him.

He flipped it around and began punching on the keypad. Then he placed it in my palm, and wrapped my fingers around it.

“I want to hear everything,” he said. “Just give me a few hours.”

I nodded, slowly.

In a flash, he grabbed Kyle by the arm and began dragging the wiry man toward the BMW.

“It was nice meeting you,” Kyle called out, with a laugh, as he stumbled to keep up.

I watched them pile into the car and drive off. I flipped the phone over and read the tiny message that Haden had left me.

I’m so sorry. Call me. (317) 555-0388

A spark of excitement shown through the confusion of the past few minutes. I read the message twice, and couldn’t help but feel better than I had all morning.

* * * * *

By the time I drove home, I had replayed everything that happened at the Saloon fifty times in my head. Kyle had appeared out of nowhere, and had brought along with him more questions than answers. It was obvious that Haden was not happy to see him, but Kyle had gone through the trouble of tracking him down, anyway.

I walked into the house, feeling confused about the situation, but somehow hopeful. Not
everything
that had happened was bad. Haden and I had made progress. And I’d gained some extra time to figure out how I was going to share everything with him. He deserved the truth about everything, and I needed the best way to convey it to him.

Memories of the river surfaced, but I suppressed them just as quickly. I didn’t want to spend any more time reliving that awful moment. I swore to myself that I would never run away from Haden like that again.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn’t even realize both Mom and Grandma were sitting in the kitchen when I walked in. They were in the corner nook, watching me as I padded along. Grandma had a pleasant smile on her face, but Mom’s cheeks were sunken, her lips tight. She looked gloomy, like something was bothering her, but I hadn’t seen her in so long that I couldn’t possibly imagine what that was.

“Well, lookey here,” I said. “You two are alive after all. We were beginning to worry about you.”

Grandma’s eyes flickered and she waved a hand.

“Oh stop that, we’ve been around plenty,” she said. “You know, we’re not the only ones that have been finding new ways of keeping themselves busy.”

Grandma had a way of peering down at me, even when I loomed over her. I cringed and wondered how much they knew. Had they found out about Haden? Mom would be upset if she discovered me running around with some guy.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Don’t tell me you haven’t heard,” she said, coyly. She gave me a wry smile, and her head tilted forward. “Sarah and Huck seem to have become quite the item when no one was looking.”

“Oh, that,” I said, releasing a held breath. I nodded. “She seems pretty happy.”

Grandma tilted her head in an approving nod. “It was high time those two realized what was under their noses. It only took two years, but it seems my prayers have finally been answered.”

I grinned. “Huck’s a good guy,” I said. “I really like him.”

“We all do,” she agreed.

I got a bottle of water from the fridge and sat down next to them. Mom’s eyes followed me the entire time.

“How’s the job going?” she asked. It was the first time she’d spoken. She sounded tired, like she’d been running on fumes for days.

I looked down at the bottle, and took a drink. I didn’t want to launch into the full story.

“It’s fine,” I said.

I expected her to ask me more about it. She never let me get away without giving her details. But, she didn’t.

She nodded her head once, and turned back to the mug in front of her.

“Is something wrong?” I asked. “You look depressed.”

Her lips cracked into a smile. “I’m fine,” she said. “I think I’m catching a cold.”

My eyes narrowed on her, surprised.

“Maybe you two should take a day off from all of your shopping, or whatever it is you’ve been up to.”

Her lips spread even further, and she nodded. “Maybe we should,” she said.

Suddenly, Sarah crashed through the door, her face beet red and glistening. She stormed straight past us, and disappeared into the back of the house. We all watched, stunned.

“That’s not good,” Grandma said, breaking the silence. I looked at her, and she gave me a resigned nod. “You’d better go talk to her,” she said. “Find out whatever that fool boy did, before she starts doing things she’ll regret.”

I scrunched my nose. Mom’s face was still locked on the mug, as though nothing were going on.

“Get some rest, Mom,” I said. “You don’t look well.”

She looked up at me and she managed another tight smile. “I’ll be fine, dear. Go take care of your cousin.”

I pinched my mouth together, and nodded. Maybe guys really
were
too much drama for me to handle.

* * * * *

I padded throughout the house until I arrived at Sarah’s bedroom. The door was shut, but I could hear her sobbing inside. My heart twisted in pain. Sarah was too sweet a girl to be hurting like that.

I hesitated only a second before I tapped the door with a finger. The sobbing quieted in a deep, wet breath. I cracked the door and pushed my head in.

“Can I come in?” I asked, softly.

Sarah was on the bed, staring at nothing. She nodded, silently.

I closed the door behind me, and sat on the edge of the bed. I put a hand on her leg, letting her know I was there, but neither of us said anything. She would open up to me when it was right.

She let out another tiny sob, and I squeezed her leg, softly.

Finally, she blew out a tiny breath and her eyes connected with mine.

“He… said….” Her words came between breaths. She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. “He’s still going off to college,” she said. I frowned, and kept running my hand along her leg. “He started getting acceptance letters,” she continued. “He got accepted to Brown.”

“It’s the summer,” I said. “Schools are sending out acceptances already?”

Her face constricted as a new wave of tears came forth.

“Some sort of advanced thing,” she said. “For the smart kids.” I winced. She was in so much pain. “Do you know Brown?” she asked.

“It’s a good school,” I said.
 

“It’s the best,” she said. Her eyes scrunched into tiny blurs. “He deserves the best.”

I shook my head. “So what’s the problem?” I asked. “Aren’t you happy for him?”

“You don’t understand,” she said. “Brown’s in Rhode Island. He might as well go to school in Europe, it’s almost closer.”

“Oh, Sarah,” I said. “What happened? What did you tell him?”

She shrugged. “What was I supposed to tell him? He wants to go to an Ivy League school. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

“But, how’s that going to work for the two of you?” I asked.

Tears flooded, now. Stronger than they had before. She didn’t even have to answer the question, I already knew the decision that had been made.

“I can’t hold him back,” she said. She took a deep breath. “There was only one thing to do,” she said. “So we broke up.”

My heart crumbled along with her. If two people, so desperately in love with each other, couldn’t make it work, then what hope did the rest of us have?

She sat up and threw her arms around me. Her tears started fresh, and I let her cry without saying a thing. We held each other for a long time. I wanted to take some of her pain away, but I knew only time would do that. Time couldn’t heal everything, but it could make it hurt less. I knew that first hand.

Finally, she pulled herself upright, and wiped at her cheeks. “What should I do?” she asked.

I considered it.

“Do you love him?” I asked, already knowing the answer. Her head sagged when she nodded. “Then what is there to think about?”

She blew out a soft breath and collapsed onto my shoulder again.

“But what am I going to do?” she said. “There’s no way I can get into Brown.”

“Who cares?” I said. “If you love him, then that’s enough. You don’t need a plan to be with someone.”

We sat there, arm in arm, for a long time. I wondered about my own future with Haden. Our own circumstance wasn’t too dissimilar. In a few months I’d be going back to New York, and Haden would return to California. What would happen then?

You’re getting ahead of yourself.

I pushed the thoughts as far away as I could. There would be time to think about Haden later.
 

“How did things go with Scottie?” Sarah asked after a while.

“As well as could be expected, I suppose,” I said, after a groan.

“We’ll find you a new job, don’t worry about it,” she said, reassuringly.

“Actually,” I began. “I promised him I’d do one more thing.” Sarah’s head lifted and she studied me. “Somehow, Haden managed to work out a meeting with the band from a few days ago. I promised Scottie I’d stick around for that meeting.”

Sarah’s eyes brightened, if only a bit. “That’s good news, right?” she said. “There’s still a chance that everything will work out.”

I shrugged. “I guess,” I said. “But I was really hoping to be done with the whole thing. It’s not me. I never should have agreed to help in the first place.”

Sarah curled up against me. “Everything’s going to be just fine,” she said. “You’ll see. Besides, that means you get to spend more time with him.”