Run From Fear (22 page)

He wanted her to want him. She didn’t even know what that meant. Other than a few passionate make-out sessions with boys from her high school days—and those she attributed more to her own hormonally charged body than any great attraction to the boys in question—Talia couldn’t remember ever feeling anything approaching what she’d seen in Jack’s eyes last night.

Need. Lust. So hot and all-consuming it drove him to the very edge of control.

So intense it called up something in her, strong enough it had its own gravitational pull. As if, regardless of the demons of her past, her body couldn’t help but respond to him, even if it was only a mere echo of what Jack was feeling.

But even that mere echo was enough to send a rush
of heat through her. She shifted in the passenger seat, felt a tingle low in her belly as she remembered the hot silk of his skin under her finger. And now, his huge, solid presence in the car, the scent of him filling her brain in a heady rush, was enough to kick up her heart rate by a couple dozen beats per minute.

Still, she feared it wasn’t enough. There had been a time when sex was fine, even fun. Back at the very beginning of her “relationship” with David, she’d had no complaints. She’d been starry-eyed, stupidly in love with the man. Or at least the idea of him.

David had proven himself a rather selfish lover, but Talia had put up with it because for her, the sex wasn’t the big deal in the relationship. For her, it was all about the fact that David loved her, cherished her, and for once she finally had someone in her life who would take care of and protect her instead of her always trying to take care of everyone else. For a brief time, at the very beginning of their affair, she had finally felt safe.

Right. She’d been about as safe as a rabbit in a cobra’s cage. By the time she realized that, it was too late. And sex with David went from tolerable to revolting in the blink of an eye. What she’d once given willingly was taken from her on a regular basis, and he made sure she knew exactly what would happen to her and Rosario if she ever tried to leave him. Worse, she had to pretend to like it. Pretend that letting him use her body whenever and however he wanted wasn’t consuming her soul from the inside out.

She swallowed back a wave of nausea as the memory obliterated any spark of arousal Jack had elicited.

And that was the crux of her problem right there, she thought gloomily as she studied Jack’s grim profile. She
was afraid that whatever chemistry she felt with Jack, whatever answering lust he conjured up in her, it wouldn’t be enough to keep the demons at bay. What if in the heat of the moment, the familiar revulsion of a man’s hands on her resurfaced? What if, God forbid, she panicked?

What if he looked at her and remembered what she’d been? Remembered what she’d let herself become?

That was the greatest fear. The deepest, darkest stone she kept secret in her heart. That no matter how much he wanted her, Jack would always see her as David Maxwell’s woman.

His mistress.

His whore.

When has Jack ever given any sign he sees you like that?
Talia recognized that voice. It was the same stupid voice her then-twenty-two-year-old self had listened to when it told her David Maxwell was the answer to all of her romantic dreams and was going to love her and give her the life she always wanted.

She shoved it aside. So what if Jack never brought up David’s name? The reminders were everywhere. They were the reason he was even in her life.

Lust only went so far.

But look at all he’s done for you—is doing for you,
that little stupid voice piped up.
Would a guy like Jack go to all this trouble if he didn’t actually care for you? If all he wanted was to get in your pants?

God, she wanted to cling to that idea and run with it. If she could trust that, she could take the risk. She could stop being such a coward.

But that would take a leap of faith she wasn’t capable of. Not anymore. She needed to squelch whatever stirrings
Jack might cause and keep her distance. Any other course was too dangerous.

She pulled herself out of her reverie and realized Jack had turned onto Campus Drive. He moved into the right lane. “No, take a left up here.”

“Her dorm is that way.”

“We’re not meeting her at her dorm,” she replied. “We’re meeting her at the coffeehouse. She had a meeting there with her physics TA.”

Jack’s only reply was grunt, a sound that sent a shooting pain through her head, intensifying the headache that had been building. A result not only of her sleepless night, but also of the stress of spending the morning with a smile pasted on her face as she exhausted every small-talk topic on the planet in an effort to engage him in conversation and defuse the tension between them.

All she’d gotten were grunts. It was his damn fault she was tied up in knots, and he couldn’t even trouble himself to be courteous.

She was officially done trying.

Jack did a quick lane change, almost taking out a biker in the process, and made a left toward the center of campus. He parked in the pay lot behind the student union. When Talia took out her wallet and headed for the pay station, Jack cut her off without a word and slid in his ATM card. Apparently chivalry wasn’t dead, even in the face of his sour mood.

They walked into the coffeehouse and it took Talia’s eyes a few moments to adjust to the dim interior. The tables were crowded with students and a handful of older professors. Some were quietly poring over books or working on laptops. Others were deep in conversation, and
there were even a couple of groups crowded around pitchers of beer, getting the weekend started early on a Thursday afternoon.

Talia looked at them all with a mingling of jealousy and wonder. Did these kids—most of them the products of some of the most privileged families in the world—have any idea how lucky they were?

“God, I used to love afternoons like that,” Jack said, an unfamiliar tone of nostalgia in his voice. “Finish up classes early, take an afternoon to goof off with my buddies.”

Though Talia could understand the appeal, her usually subdued contrarian streak decided to rear its head. “I wouldn’t know. We were too poor for me to do more than a semester of community college.”

“You could still go.”

“Right. After I pay for Rosie and the rest of what I owe you, I should be able to afford it sometime in the middle of this century. I’ll have to use a walker to accept my diploma.”

Jack opened his mouth but Talia cut him off when she spotted Rosie across the room. “There’s Rosie,” she said, and started toward the table Rosie was sharing with a young man with dark hair.

Talia stopped beside the table and Rosie looked up with a smile. “Hey, Talia, we’re just finishing up.” She turned to the man who was sitting across from her. He was staring up at Talia. Behind his wire-rimmed glasses, his eyes were pale green, studying her with such curiosity Talia felt a bit like a bug under a microscope. “Eugene, this is my sister, Talia. Talia, this is Eugene Kuusik, my physics TA.”

“Nice to meet you.” Talia held out her hand, and there were several awkward seconds as Eugene just stared, unmoving. Talia was about to pull her hand away, wondering if she’d somehow offended him, when he seemed to jerk awake.

“I’m sorry,” he said with a sheepish smile as he held out his hand. “It’s stunning, how much like your sister you look.” His grip was surprisingly strong, and as she looked closer, she saw that while she’d initially categorized him as thin, the arms sticking out of the short sleeves of his T-shirt were corded with muscle.

He wasn’t massively built like Jack—few were—but he was lean and fit, in a compact, sinewy sort of way.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Talia replied, although she found his comment a little strange. Sure, she and Rosie resembled each other enough—no one was ever shocked to find out they were siblings—but with the differences in features, height, and build, they’d never be mistaken for twins.

“Oh, you absolutely should,” Eugene said, his face breaking into an almost sweet smile. He shot a quick look at Rosie, whose cheeks were flushed.

“I’m Jack,” Jack’s gruff voice broke in, and the offer of his hand forced Eugene to drop Talia’s. “So you’re her physics tutor?”

“Her TA, actually, for Physics Forty-Three class. In my spare time I’m working on my PhD in biophysics.”

“Jack was a physics major at West Point,” Rosie chimed in.

“Small potatoes compared to a PhD candidate,” Jack said, for the first time today sounding almost pleasant.

“And that’s why you’re a bodyguard instead of a PhD,” Talia said peevishly.

“Are you really a bodyguard?” Eugene asked, sounding almost impressed.

“I’m a security specialist,” Jack said, shooting Talia a glare.

“That sounds a lot cooler than physics geek,” Eugene said with a chuckle.

“Talia’s been getting some strange gifts,” Rosie said, leaning forward as though she was about to disclose a juicy secret. “We think she has a stalker.”

Eugene grimaced sympathetically. “That sounds scary.”

“It’s totally freaky,” Rosie said. “It started with just a necklace and some flowers, but then—”

Talia glanced at Jack, who was shaking his head at a totally oblivious Rosie.

“Rosario,” he snapped, causing Rosie to look up with a startled, slightly hurt look. “We’re trying to keep the details on the down low—no offense, Eugene.”

Eugene nodded with a look of concern. “Of course, I understand.”

“Sorry, I didn’t realize,” Rosie said, then gave Eugene a pleading look. “You won’t tell anyone, will you?”

Eugene gave Rosie a gentle smile and patted her hand. “Of course not. And who would I tell anyway? The only people I know are geeks like me.” He closed his laptop and slid it into his bag. “It was nice meeting you,” he said to Talia and Jack as he rose. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to get ready for my next class. Rosario, I’ll see you tomorrow in study section.”

Talia slid into the chair Eugene vacated.

“I thought we were leaving too,” Jack snapped.

Talia glared up at him. A headache throbbed in her
temples. “I need to brace myself before we hit the mall.” She flashed Jack a smile that was more a baring of teeth. “Get me a coffee?”

“Sure.” Jack practically spat out the word and started to turn and walk away.

“I want a half caf light foam nonfat latte with one pump vanilla syrup and make sure it’s extra hot. Got all that?”

“Got it.”

“You guys are doing it, aren’t you?”

Talia was glad she didn’t have her coffee yet because Rosie’s question would have made her spew it all over the table. “What on earth are you talking about? Of course not. Why would you say that?”

Rosie sat back in her chair, arms folded, regarding her with a knowing look that made her look thirty-five instead of eighteen. “You’re totally acting like people who hooked up but then got in a fight and neither of you wants to apologize.” She cocked her head. “But now that you say it, I think the problem is that you haven’t done it yet.”

Talia felt the color flood to her cheeks and she looked frantically over her shoulder to make sure Jack wasn’t anywhere close. “That’s ridiculous and you know it. Even if he wanted to, and I thought I wanted to… I can’t… we can’t… after everything that happened—”

Rosie leaned forward and covered Talia’s hands with her own where they rested on the table. “You have to get over it.”

Talia jerked back. “It’s not that easy. You have no idea—” She tried to tug her hands away but Rosie held them in a surprisingly strong grip.

“I have a pretty good idea,” Rosie said quietly, and in
that one sentence every trace of the happy-go-lucky coed disappeared. “You didn’t tell me everything, but I think I figured most of it out. You have to know Jack would never hurt you that way, not in a million years.”

“Of course I do. Jack’s not the problem.”

“Then I don’t understand,” Rosie said.

And Talia never wanted her to. “Let’s not talk about my nonexistent love life, okay?”

“It’s only nonexistent because you want it to be,” Rosie said, undeterred. “I swear, the way Jack looks at you, he’d be on you in a nanosecond if you gave him just a little encouragement.”

“Nanosecond? Is that what you’re learning from your cute physics TA?” Talia struggled to keep her tone light despite the pounding in her skull.

Rosie wrinkled her nose as her lips pulled up at the corners. “You think Eugene is cute?”

Thank God Rosie took the bait. “Yeah, in a quieter, studious kind of way. He seems to be in to you.”

Rosie shook her head. “I can see what you’re saying. He’s nice enough and I don’t mind hanging out with him. But he’s a grad student, so he’s kind of boring and… old,” she finished with another disdainful nose wrinkle. “Besides, I just ended things with Kevin.”

Though Talia had been overjoyed at the news of their breakup, her hackles rose at the thought of Rosario wasting another second mooning over that grade-A d-bag, and she told Rosie as much.

“Hey, I know you never liked him but that doesn’t mean I didn’t care about him—” Rosie’s sullen protest was interrupted as Jack practically dropped the paper beverage cup on the table.

Talia rolled her eyes and took a sip, her lip curling at the bitter taste of black coffee without a hint of milk or sugar to curb the edge.

Her gaze darted from Rosie’s pout to Jack’s look of smug satisfaction as he watched her take another sip of the coffee.

It was going to be a long afternoon.

H
ours later, Gene was still shaking from his encounter with Talia Vega. He’d been completely caught off guard when she’d walked into the coffeehouse. Rosario had said nothing about meeting her sister at the end of their session.

It was heaven and hell wrapped up in one miraculous, awful encounter. She’d stunned him. Of course he’d been aware of her beauty, watching her, tracking her as he had. But he’d never been up close enough to see the smooth grain of her skin. Nearly flawless even without the heavy makeup she’d worn in older pictures he’d seen.

Never been close enough to appreciate the subtle shifts in her expression, the way her eyes lit up with pride when she smiled at her sister and darkened in irritation when she spoke to the gorilla.