Running Back To Him (13 page)

Chapter 21

Today is the first Sunday Justine and I haven’t spent together. Usually our Sundays consist of smoothies at the mall, watching stupid cat videos at her house, and making her watch the latest installment of whatever teen sci-fi movie I’ve fallen in love with and trying my best to explain it to her afterwards.

Today feels so empty. I want to call Kellen so bad that it aches, to see how he’s doing, to hear the timbre in his voice. But I stop myself to keep my distance and try to keep things professional between us.

Besides, he was busy meeting college recruiters all day today, going out to lunch and discussing the benefits of coming to their university. My mind shoots to Kellen, at a dinner table, struggling to read the menu. I wonder how he would play it off. My heart really goes out to him. His issue really couldn’t have happened to a sweeter person. He’s a smart, funny, and overall good person—I know he’ll overcome it.

“Magnolia,” my Mom shouts, “you have a…visitor at the door.” I hear her shoes click clack down the basement steps.

Normally my Mom waits in the foyer with whoever comes by, offers them coffee or brownies or something, and exchanges small talk, but not this time. I find Lucas standing leaning against the wall by the door, a cardboard box resting next to his feet. Any ex-boyfriend of mine is an enemy to her, especially one that dumps her for her close friend. Mom’s probably finishing up her laundry or letting me handle like a grown up without her looming in the other room.

“Wow,” he says in his normally aloof tone, “your Mom must really hate me.”

I fold my arms, standoffish. “Yeah, I guess mothers are like that when you treat their daughters like trash,” I say. His head dips and he nods. “What do you want, Lucazoid?”

“My name’s Lucas,” he says shaking his head.

“It
is
your name—on Twitter. No need to be ashamed of it. Own it.” His lips part, but he catches himself, probably realizing what he thought about saying was going to stoke the fire that was about to rage between us. He sighs.

“I just came here to give you back the stuff you left over my place.”

I look down in the box and there’s a black Harry Potter Snuggie, my Iron Man house shoes, assorted makeup, and a couple of paranormal romance books that I would sometimes read while he was watching baseball on television.

“Thanks. Should I feel bad that I burned all of your stuff?

His mouth falls open. “Really?” His voice rises to a squeal. I nod with a hardened face.

“Not really, it’s boxed up in a soggy, mold-ridden corner of the garage,” I say. “The thought of pouring kerosene on the sentimental belongings we accumulated over the years did cross my mind, but I’m not good with pyrotechnics and burning down the entire neighborhood wasn’t something I wanted to be behind bars for. You’re not worth it.” I suck my teeth and yank back the hair dangling on the side of my face. “Anything else? I really have things to do.”

“You mean like take more duckface selfies with Kellen?”

My eyes protrude from what he just said. “You have a lot of nerve to say something like that.”

“You’re still my ex-girlfriend. It’s not like we don’t have history.”

I cross my arms tighter, standing defensively. “History that you ruined. We really had something. Something special. And you threw it all away…for someone who I thought was a friend.

“You’re right.” He blows out a breath that rattles his lips. “Mags, I know I was the one who broke up with you, but I didn’t realize what I was losing.”

I jam my eyes shut, breathing deeply, pressing out my hands, trying to remain calm. “We were together for months and it’s taken you
now
to realize how special I was to you? You’re unbelievable. And not in a good way.” My eyes stay closed. I can’t waste the gift of eyesight on the pathetic human standing in my doorway.

“I just took you for granted. That’s what boys do. It’s in our DNA to be stupid and treat girls badly.”

“This isn’t some fairytale, where you can say a few sweet things, admit how guilty you are and expect me to forgive you. This isn’t some Hallmark movie of the week. You hurt me.” The anguish in my voice causes him to pause; probably conjuring up more bullshit to spew to me. I beat him to the punch though. “Does your new girlfriend know you’re here?”

“No,” he mutters. “Mags, seeing all those selfies you and Kellen are taking on the ‘Gram, you tweeting about how it could be love. I just feel some type of way about that. I have feelings. And despite what happened…what I did and even though I’m with someone else now, the fact is, we’re not together anymore.”

“Look, Kellen is coming over soon. I don’t have time for this.”

He nudges the box over to me with his foot. “I just wanted to bring this by.”

“Gee thanks. Much appreciated.” My voice is snarky and rushed. He turns around and places his hand on the doorknob.

“Mags, it’s like you’re throwing it in my face.”

My jaw drops. “Says the guy who broke up with me in front of the entire school.”

He turns around and reveals a hollow face.

“I’m coming to grips with what I did. You have to believe me.”

“You’re—” Enraged, my voice is loud enough to break glass. But I stop myself. I don’t want my Mom to know all of my business and I don’t want him to feel like there’s an ounce of emotion left in my heart. Because the fact is, there’s absolutely none left.

I swallow like there’s a bitter taste in my mouth. “Lucas, I knew you were heartless, but you had to have known how it would make me feel.” I part my lips to say more. I laugh to myself, shaking my head at how stupid all of this is. Him coming here, me letting him drag me into an argument. Oldest trick in the book; show up, start an argument and leave with the upper hand knowing you’ve stirred up all kinds of emotion. There’s no upper hand, because this isn’t a game.

“You know what?” I ask, “It really doesn’t matter, Lucas. Are we done here?”

The silence among us bangs my eardrums.

He presses his lips together, nods, and quietly shuts the door behind him.

I exhale deeply, trying to soothe the stitches on the surface of my heart.

Times like these are when a girl needs her best friend to vent to. I’m the last person in the world that Justine wants to hear from. And that really sucks.

Chapter 22

I’d never been more excited for school than today. Normally Mondays are totally lameballs, but Kellen texted me last night urging me to get a good night’s rest because we have a lot of ramping up to do with our relationship. Ooops. I forgot to put quotation marks around our relationship. I think it has a nice ring to it. He told me to go heavy on the lip gloss. Strawberry lip gloss to be exact. He said he tasted it on my lips on Saturday and he loved it. Let’s just say that I got absolutely no sleep last night. I had to go super heavy on the concealer to hide the bags under my eyes this morning.

When I get to my locker, I look everywhere for Kellen and he’s nowhere to be found in the rush hour traffic that is the hallway a quarter before eight. I hate when people say they’re going to do something and then don’t do it. Sadly, I know Justine feels the same about me.

I plop against my locker making a loud, metal
thrwonk
dampened by the hustle and bustle of the morning. I’m only going to wait just a few more minutes and then head into homeroom.

“Magnolia Graham,” Tim, the assistant team manager, I mean, the water boy says, approaching me. He’s smiling ear to ear in full metallic braces bloom.

“Uhh, it’s Magnolia,” I say, “I thought we’ve gone through this before.”

He looks like he couldn’t buy a clue even he had a billion dollars. “First name basis only, remember?” I pull out my compact mirror. “Am I sprouting grays or something?”

“Sorry,” he says, “I don’t think I see any grays. Just jet black hair.”

“Maybe on second thought, a streak of gray would be pretty rad. I’d look like Rouge. Totally badass. But then I wouldn’t be able to kiss anybody or it would kill them and that would totally suck.” I look down at him holding his hands behind his back. I frown.

“Oh. I forgot,” he says. “These are for you.” He juts out a bouquet of red roses in front of me.

They’re so pretty and sweet music to my nostrils. But totally
ugh
. A romantic gesture from Tim isn’t the most ideal way to start my morning. I plaster a fake smile. “Thanks Tim. I’m flattered. I didn’t know you felt this way about me. You’re so sweet.”

He laughs, holding his stomach. “No, you got the wrong idea. These are from Kellen. He wanted me to hand deliver these for you.”

My head jerks back in delight. “Kellen?” At any moment I’m going to have to pick up my bottom lip from up off the floor.

“Are you going to take them? My arm is getting sore.” I take them and bring them up to my nose. I shake my head, knowing my cheeks are becoming as red as the rose petals.

“There’s a card in there somewhere, too. Which I wrote, by the way.” He sounds proud.

I pull out the card and read it and Tim disappears in the sea of students.

‘To Mags, I know how much you hate Mondays. Thought this would help.’

Though I feel the presence of dozens of eyeballs falling on me, it doesn’t remove me from the trance that’s wrapped me up.

“That’s right everyone…drink it in,” I mutter under my breath. I feel the glow of the spotlight beaming down on me from above. I missed this feeling.

I don’t know if I should carry these to homeroom or put them in my locker. I decide to carry them with me. For the sake of our fake union, everyone needs to see this.

I waltz into the classroom with regality. My flats glide over the floor like a red carpet was underneath me. I sit down in my chair and immediately, Keisha Burns turns around and summons answers from me.

“Those are from Kellen aren’t they?” she says, her peanut butter brown braids dangle over the roses. I nod, my googly eyes still magnetized to the handwritten card he gave me. “You’re the luckiest girl in school.” She turns around further. I’m still unable to lift my eyes up to her. “For you to go from a total loser to dating Lucas…and
then
Kellen is no small feat. It’s like winning the lottery, going broke and then winning it again in the same year.”

The word loser makes my heart dip a little. I poke my chest out slightly. “I wouldn’t call myself a loser.”

“Oh, I totally would call you a loser. Like, loner just doesn’t do it justice. No offense.”

I take my left hand under the table and dig my nails into the skin of my thighs, counting down the moments until this ‘conversation’ is over.

“Well I do kinda take offense to it. I had friends back then, just not the popular ones.”

“It takes one to no one. Trust me. You totally had the uniform.”

“I’m sorry,” I say, my face scrunching. “Did you say uniform?” My voice is becoming more strained by the second.

“Yeah, the red hair, the Yoda shirts, you reciting passages from Lord of the Rings. My cousin Monica calls it the nerd uniform.” My expression turns pinched.

“I call that being unique.”

“I guess. I’m just saying, you’ve like done a total one-eighty. Bravo.”

I have to end this now before I get suspended for reaching over and clawing her eyes out.

I pull out my phone. “Excuse me, my Mom’s calling me.”

I shoot out in to the hallway and exhale rushed breaths to calm my pulse that’s sky rocketing.

I spend the rest of my homeroom trying not to pummel Keisha to a pulp. Somehow I get my attention back to how sweet Kellen is. Lucas never did anything like this. When we first got together it was like he was afraid of being in public with me. But Kellen has never been ashamed of being around me, regardless of where we were. I know this romantic gesture is just playing up our faux romance, but I can’t help fall victim to the seductiveness of it.

Still in a state of euphoria, I make my way to first period art history. I walk through the door and with the amount of gleeful whispers and cutting glances thrown my way, it feels like I’m walking into a minefield. I furrow my eyebrows and head to my desk, hesitantly, like a gazelle inching past a den of lions.

My suspicions are relieved when I see another bouquet of roses laying on my desk. I breathe an appreciative sigh, like I just won a Miss America pageant. I accept my gift and read the card.

The card reads,
‘How many jealous eyes are on you right now
?
’

“More than enough,” I say to myself. If I smile any wider my jaws will be sore by the time I get to second period.

And when I do get to second period, I’m greeted by the same—another bouquet of red roses. This is beginning to be overwhelming. I expected a make out session by the water fountain and a pack of Sour Patch Kids as a token of his appreciation, but this…THIS? A seventeen-year-old female’s heart is supposed to be healthy enough to handle a lot of stress, but I don’t know if it can take much more.

I sit down, basking in a radiant glow. Despite the fact that this is all for show, the romantic tide is so strong and I’m getting caught in the undertow. And I’m afraid of drowning deep.

“Kellen is so sweet. I hate to say it, but I’m so jealous of her right now,” I hear a girl’s voice whisper from behind me.

“He sure is,” I sigh to myself.

By the time I get to lunch I have to go to my locker to put another bouquet in. So far that’s five—one for every period.

I shut my locker and my body jumps in fright to see Ashley. Her body was shrouded behind the steel door. I was so caught up in all of the flowers I didn’t even see her standing there.

I clutch my heart, barely able to speak. “Oh my God.” Creepiest thing I’ve ever seen.

What’s creepier is the scowl that hangs off her face.

“Nice flowers,” Ashley’s voice is robotic—serial killer frighteningly monotone. But she doesn’t scare me…anymore. I stand rigid.

“They are,” I say defiantly. “My
boyfriend
got them for me.” I suck my teeth as I stare back at her rebelliously.

“So,” she says with her surfer girl, ‘Daddy I need the credit limit on my Discover card raised’, voice. “You know I was thinking, we haven’t hung out in a long time.”

“I wonder why.” She inches closer and we’re standing face to face like those boxing posters that show the fighters in an intimidating, sweaty stare down.

Her voice is snarky and breathy, just like always. “Well sometimes things happen and it’s easy to misjudge people and well, I think I misjudged our friendship. I may have taken our friendship for granted.”

“You know you and Lucas must be spending a shitload of time together; the two of you are starting to sound alike. It’s really eerie.”

“Well we have been seeing a lot of each other. It’s hard for him keep his paws off of me. I’m sure you know how strong his hands are.”

I brush a curl behind my year. “Actually I’ve forgotten.” I chuckle. “Lately, Kellen has me a little…occupied. As you can see from all the roses. You know how it is. The honeymoon phase.” Ashley’s scowl tightens. I love it. I could keep this going all day if I have to.

“That’s the best time if you ask me.” The annoying bubbliness in her voice is fading after every syllable. It’s teetering on borderline rage. But she smiles through it all. “Discovering each other’s bodies, scratching that itch that the person before couldn’t scratch.”

I smirk. “It’s a wonderful thing isn’t it? Funny how things change. One moment you’re playing in dirt thinking it’s gold and then you wake up realizing you have mud all over you.”

She swallows hard and gazes at me with a mix of shock and a glint of fear.

“Well, well, well,” she says, tossing her hair behind her shoulders. “Magnolia Graham. The entire school is buzzing about you and Kellen. I’m happy for you.”

“Well thanks. I didn’t think you’d be able to say such kind words.”

“It’s the least I can do. I’m the one that raised you from a pup to a star. I’m just happy my little chicky has left the nest. Too bad Mama bird had to kick her out for it to happen.”

I bite my bottom lip. I can’t let her win this battle.

“Yeah hopping from nest to nest isn’t my specialty, but a bird has to do what a bird has to do.” I pause, realizing what I said makes no sense. Ashley returns a confused expression. “Talking in code isn’t my forte,” I say. “Let’s just get down to the bone gristle. Stop being a scared little bitch and say what’s really on your mind.”

“There’s only room for one queen bitch in this school. Not two. You understand that? One. It’s
me
. Always has. All ways will be.”

I smirk knowing that my smile will infuriate her even more. “So what you’re saying is even though you’re a senior you’re gonna stick around another year or two? I know you were bad at math, but I didn’t think you’d be held back because of it.”

Her face curls to a frown. If she gets any madder, her makeup might crack. She fidgets with the silver locket around her neck. “Mags, dear,” she says with a steely voice, her eyes squinted low. “Do yourself a favor…smell the roses while they’re fresh. You never know when they’ll wither away and die.” She winks at me and prances down the hallway.

I force the lump in my throat back down. On one side of the coin I feel triumphant from standing up to Ashley, something that no one in school has ever done, but also hesitant as I know Hurricane Ashley is threatening to sweep through my life sooner rather than later.