Running in Place (Mending Hearts) (37 page)

My mind recalls my lecture to Tatum about family not being blood and it dawns on me how ironically applicable that conversation would actually be in my own life as I eye them all banded together behind me. To protect
me
. It boggles my mind, but at the same time, it eases my soul knowing they are there.

It’s then that it hits me.

This
is family. People who would do anything for you, no questions asked. People who support you and love you as you try to make your place in this world as you see fit, with no ulterior motives.

Good people. People that I’m lucky to know.

Just as I’m about to turn around, I see her. Tatum, as she exits the bar, tears running down her cheeks from worry as she approaches me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know what else to do,” she says as she cries. Taking her into my arms, I hold her tight while kissing the top of her head.

“I’m okay, Tate. I promise.” I can feel her shaking in my arms as she sniffles against my chest.

Curling my fingers around her upper arms, I press her away from me so that she can see my eyes. “I’m okay.”

Nodding, she whimpers lightly with relief. Sliding my arm around her shoulders, I turn to face my father, his furious eyes locking onto mine.

“You will have
nothing
, boy. I’ll make sure of it,” he rasps, the effect of my hold on his throat marking his tone.

I laugh out loud because it’s so clear to me he has absolutely
no
idea. He knows nothing about the man I’ve become.

“You can have the money. In fact, you can take the remainder of the money and shove it up your ass. It’s all yours.” I shrug my shoulders with resolution. “I have everything I need right here.”

With Tatum curled in tightly against my chest, I turn away from my father. Filing in behind Harlow, who, while hand-in-hand with Trace, is saying something about nun chucks, and Blake and Alex, their arms wrapped around each other’s waists as they walk and laugh, we all enter the bar together, letting the door swing shut on its own behind us.

And I never look back.

Dear Daddy,

I love you. So much.

But, the time has come for me to let you go. To release you from these unfair obligations that I’ve placed upon you ever since you passed.

I used you as an escape — from life, from her — and I’m so sorry for that
.

Sometimes, we just deal the only way we know how to with the horrors that we’re faced with. For me, the memory of the bond we shared kept me clinging to your non-existence, but it was unfair to you because I know in my heart that you stayed for me. To help me, to guide me, to protect me. And honestly, Daddy, I owe you MY life for that.

But, it’s time to let you know I’m all right.

You don’t have to stay to protect me anymore.

I’ve grown past the mentality of the little girl who was completely lost to become a woman who can’t wait to conquer the world.

I’m okay.

I’m happy.

And I’m loved.

Before I let you go, I just wanted to share with you a couple of the things I’ve learned over the last year of my life because these lessons have molded me into the person I’ve become. The person that you always knew I could be.

So here ‘goes…

I’ve learned that it’s not so hard to let people, the right people, into your life.

I’ve learned that settling for less than you deserve is not a form of survival, it’s a travesty.

I’ve learned to smile, a real one.

I’ve learned to take risks because they can lead to greatness.

I’ve learned to fly, to rise above resentment and hatred.

I’ve learned that I am strong, so much stronger than I ever realized.

I’ve learned to take a stand not only for others, but for myself.

I've learned the true power of forgiveness and the true power it unleashes.

But most importantly, I've learned that true love does, in fact, exist. That it's not a figment of people's imaginations and it's by far the most enchanting emotion I've ever experienced.

With tears in my eyes, I finish my final letter to you, knowing that you will also find your peace.

You will always be in my memories and in my heart — never forgotten.

You’re just free now.

Go, Daddy. Rest in peace and know that I will always love you.

~ Tatum

Wow. There are so many people I want to thank I don’t even know where to start. First and foremost, I want to thank all of those who have supported me and rooted me on from day one. Your constant encouragement and kind words motivate me so much, and when I feel like throwing in the towel, you are always there to make me laugh and send me good vibes. Thank you for that!

My hubby — thank you for allowing me to continue living my dream. Thank you for your patience and your understanding of the depth of my love for these characters. Thank you for taking the girls numerous places to keep them busy so I could write. I know it wasn’t easy, but it didn’t go unnoticed. Thank you. Thank you for reading my book, challenging me, giving me advice (at the risk of me becoming defensive
) and most of all, for believing in me. I love you.

Jena Eilers — AH! Another book down. Can you believe it? Thank you, my dear, dear friend for everything you do for me. Whether it be “Good Morning Sunshine” texts, posting on my timeline when I need encouragement, reading my manuscripts a gazillion times — out loud, or for your constant support — it all means so much to me. I couldn’t have done this without you. You have upped my definition of being “MY ROCK” this time around. You are amazing and I love you.

Toski Covey — I love your face woman. Thank you so much for photographing my cover. Noah and Tatum are perfect. You are so talented, and I can’t wait to watch your career skyrocket even more as you add more and more beautiful covers to the book world. I am proud to know you and to call you my friend.

Sarah Hansen — Another cover down. And as always, it’s perfection. Thank you for dealing with my random tweak requests without hunting me down to kill me. You are incredibly patient and I thank you for that. Your work is truly amazing, and I never worry knowing I have you in my corner.

Jennifer Roberts-Hall — Thank you for editing this baby. I know it was CRAZY, but I think we turned out a great book! Thank you for loving my characters as much as I do and for believing in me. Oh, and thank you for reading my random PM’s with things I wrote that day that I just couldn’t wait to share with someone without wanting to punch me. Love you woman. Thank you!

Kassi Cooper — Thank you for taking my story and making my words look beautiful with your formatting. I am so lucky that I found you and I can’t wait to see your work on my Kindle and in paperback. You are so kind to have made time for me at the last minute, and I can’t thank you enough for that. You are a LIFE SAVER!!!!

Stephanie Johnson — GAH! There are not enough words to tell you how much I love you. Thank you for traveling this journey with me every single step of the way. Thank you for putting up with my random phone calls and texts when I was freaking out about where to take this story. You are such a truly amazing person, just as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. Thank you for loving Noah and Tatum as much as I do. Your support and constant cheerleading not only keep me smiling, but help me stay on course when I want to give up. I LOVE YOU!

Becky Carter Nichols — Woman! Thank you for staying on top of me and making sure I wasn’t goofing off when I needed to be writing. You have no idea how much I needed that. Thank you for approaching me about starting up a street team and getting everything set up, because I had no idea what to do. Your enthusiasm is contagious, and I can’t thank you enough for everything you have done for me.

Jenn Diaz and Kathy Kindler — Thank you for being admins as well for LB’s Lovely Pimpers. Thank you so much for beta reading the book and giving me feedback and advice. You ladies are so awesome and your support and loyalty warms my heart. I am so glad to have come to know you and to be able to call you my friends!

LB’s Lovely Pimpers — Thank you for even wanting to be on my team. LOL! Thank you for all of the encouraging words, the constant sharing of my teasers, and for loving my stories as much as you do. I really hope I did you proud with this one. You are all so important to me, each and every single one of you. I LOVE YOU ALL!

Trisha Rai — Thank you for your messages of encouragement as I was writing this book. Your passion for books is what I love most about you and I can’t wait to read and discuss more books with you soon. Thank you so much for always being there and for making me smile. Love you!

Lisa Paul — My sister. I love you. Thank you for just being you. Thank you for helping me formulate the plot line, work through scenes, listening to my vent sessions when scenes didn’t go the way I initially thought they would and for calling me to make sure I wasn’t losing my marbles during this writing journey. But, most of all, thank you for being my friend. For making me laugh non-stop and for just “getting” me. Keep writing woman! You are amazing! I LOVE YOU SOOOOO MUCH!

Nicole Tway — I cannot even tell you how happy I am to have you in my life. You are the yen to my yang. I can’t wait to watch your career sky rocket my love. It will happen and I will be there to say I told you so. Thank you for making me laugh out loud on a daily basis. You have no idea how much our discussions really ease my mind and help me relax…because they are usually really random yet extremely hilarious.

Heather Maven — Thank you for making the freaking amazeballs book trailer for my baby. You are so crazy talented! Also, thank you for reading Noah and Tate’s story and for loving it. I’m telling you, you have no idea how much I needed your daily updates as you sent them to me. You kept me sane with them — well, as sane as I can be anyway. So happy I met you and am so glad I can call you a friend.