Rush Into You (25 page)

“How’s it going, Hen?” I laughed.

“Hen…I like that. You’d think more people would call me Hen, right? Or Drix,”

I shrugged. “It sounds right.”

“Well, now I have you to call me Hen. Yay!” he cheered.

Ryker threw his arm around my shoulders and laughed. “You’re crazy, man.”

“Yep, crazy good in bed is what the chicks say.” Hendrix bit his lip and pumped his hips in beat with his arms, air thrusting. He winked at us, then turned to leave, jumping into the nearest open truck bed.

I followed Ryker back to his bike, knowing it was almost time to head to the boulevard. We listened as Hendrix made a few announcements and worked his magic amping up the crowd. Bets were taking place as usual, and most of the crowd placed their money on my boyfriend.

My boyfriend.
I liked that I could call him that now.

Ryker talked to a couple about motorcycle parts as I looked around at the large crowd. There were definitely over a hundred people here, and I knew that the audience would double by the time we’d hit the boulevard.

As I scanned the area, I locked eyes with an icy blue stare and I gasped. Keith — Ryker’s number one rival in the racing community. Not that he was any real competition, but he’d won all the races before Ryker came along, and Keith held a major grudge.

Keith stepped away from the group he was standing with and stalked straight toward us. Ryker was still in a conversation with the people beside us, but I reached back and grabbed his hand in warning. “Ryker, Keith is coming over here.”

Ryker immediately focused his attention on me and caught sight of Keith. He stood to his full height, his strong build seeming to take up more space than it actually did. His posture was straight, exuded confidence and screamed for people not to fuck with him, but Keith didn’t take the hint. He stepped in front us closer than what would be considered respectful, especially from someone who wasn’t considered a friend. Those icy eyes of his never left mine, not even to acknowledge Ryker. The hatred behind his stare confused me, and I had no idea why it was directed at me.

“Back off, Keith. Whatever your issue is today we’ll deal with it on the boulevard.” Ryker’s voice held the tone of finality, letting Keith know there wasn’t room for argument or games.

“This isn’t about you right now, Rosse. It’s between me and your girl.”

I squared my shoulders and lifted my chin, hoping to appear more confident than I felt on the inside. “What’s this all about, Keith?”

“Curiosity had me asking around about you.” My eyes widened, and anxiety coursed through my bloodstream and pooled in my stomach. I felt sick.

“That’s interesting and all, but quite unnecessary,” Ryker interjected, “My relationships have nothing to do with you, so there’s no reason you need to worry about who I’m with.” I could tell that he was pissed, but he appeared calm and almost polite to anyone else who was witnessing this.

“That’s where you’re wrong, Rosse. It just so happens that this girlfriend of yours is my business.”

Ryker opened his mouth to respond, but Keith cut him off. His eyes narrowed as he stared me down. “Do you happen to be the famous Gabby Carter from Breckston?”

My blood ran cold, and my heart stopped beating. Who the hell was this guy and what did he want with me? I had no idea how much Keith knew about me, but I could tell he was prepared to dish out everything he did know.

“Do you know who I am, Gabby?” Keith snarled.

I shook my head. “Besides seeing you here, no, can’t say I do. Am I supposed to?”

He laughed humorlessly, the sound of disbelief. “You ruined my life, and you don’t even remember me? You’re fucking unbelievable!”

Hendrix came over in that tense moment and clapped Keith on his shoulder. “Let’s get this started, Rayburn. You’re racing twice tonight. You’re going up against Eric first and ending with your best friend Ryker here.”

Rayburn.

Hendrix’s voice echoed in my mind as I focused on that name. It was more than familiar to me, and I couldn’t hide the widening of my eyes when I recognized it. Keith’s stance turned rigid.

“There she goes,” he taunted, “Piece it together.”

Flashes of my past bombarded my brain, bringing my horrid memories to the front of my mind. Rayburn. I knew the name well. I’d heard it repeated continuously throughout my trial when my fate was being decided. Stacey and Kenneth Rayburn, married for twenty-two years, parents of a twenty-one year old son and expecting another son in four short months. That family had haunted me for years, every single time my eyes closed. I didn’t know them personally, but I’d single-handedly stolen their lives. I'd ruined the Rayburn family.

“Yeah, she knows exactly who I am.”

My hands were clammy, and my heart was racing. I couldn’t believe this was happening. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered to Keith.

“Sorry? Sorry! Are you fucking shitting me? I find you here smiling and laughing it up with lover boy week after week, going about your life as if everything is fine. I’m glad you got over what happened so easily because I sure as fuck didn’t! You took my family away from me! Every single one of them! I never got to meet my baby brother because of you, you fucking bitch!”

“It was an accident.” I shook my head, not knowing what to say. Keith had every right to flip out on me. He had every reason to hate me.

Ryker stood protectively in front of me, shielding me with his powerful body. “Back off, Keith! I fucking mean it! Get out of here!”

“You wouldn’t be protecting her if you knew who she was, Rosse!” Keith yelled, spitting Ryker’s name.

“Fuck you, dude! I know Gabby. You need to walk away now before I fuck your shit up. I’m tired of your games. You have no right to talk to my girl like that,” Ryker defended me.

I put my hand on his bicep; the muscles flexed solid from his anger. He was prepared to hurt Keith and disqualify himself from the race to defend my honor.

“Ryker, stop. Please. He’s telling the truth.”

He spun around so quickly that my hand was dislodged from his arm. Confusion teased his features before he schooled his face blank. “I don’t care if he’s telling the truth.” He shook his head like he couldn’t understand it. “He needs to apologize.”

The humorless and bitter sound of Keith’s loud laughter hurt my heart. He’d had everything he’d ever known taken away from him in the blink of an eye. “Apologize?” Keith screamed. “Apologize for what? That her drunk ass murdered my parents and unborn brother?”

I felt myself crumbling, shutting down as my mind flew to my old coping mechanism, wanting to run and find something to numb the pain taking me over. My hand flew to my mouth, nausea bubbling in my stomach. I was going to be sick.

I ran with no destination in my mind besides getting away.

“I’m going to make you pay, Gabby Carter! I will destroy you just like you destroyed me. That’s a promise!”

Tears filled my eyes and blurred my vision. I kept running, trying to get as far away from the pain as I could, but it would never be possible. The pain was within me, growing until it overtook me.

Until it completely consumed me.

I hadn’t realized that I’d run into the street until the blaring horns of oncoming traffic sounded around me. I gasped, standing still with wide eyes as an eighteen wheeler barreled toward me. I heard a wailing screech as the monstrous vehicle tried slamming on its brakes, but the truck was moving too fast to stop. It plowed down the pavement, aiming at me. I figured it was only fair to be taken out this way, killed by a vehicle as I should have been in the first place. I resigned myself to my fate, not making a move to run. I stared at the oncoming truck, waiting for it to kill me.

Strong arms wrapped around my middle, tightening their hold on me and lifting me in the air. My eyes remained glued on the truck that was only feet away from me until I was thrown on the sidewalk. Lying on the cement, my stare was unblinking as I gazed at the black sky.

I could hear Ryker’s frantic voice in the distance of my mind. “I think she’s in shock! Hendrix! Let me take your car, you follow me on my bike!”

I thought I was doing okay, but tonight’s encounter with Keith proved that I’d never be okay. I’d never be normal. I shouldn’t have fooled myself into trying.

I was lifted by familiar arms, the smokey leather scent of Ryker welcomed but not enough to pull me from the dark place my mind was in. I closed my eyes and turned into him; the movement of his walking rocked me and brought about a sense of comfort. The sounds of a car registered through the haze and I was jostled slightly before laying down in the backseat of a car. I sighed at the feel of cool fabric beneath my cheek.

“Gabby, baby, stay with me,” Ryker pleaded, “I’m bringing you home now.”

“Don’t leave me,” I whimpered.

“Never.”

I MUST HAVE passed out on the ride home because the next thing I remembered was Ryker carrying me like a small child into my home. The bright colors and cheeriness of my apartment that I’d once found comforting seemed to taunt me, calling me out for my phoniness. No matter how normal I’d acted in public, or how hard I’d tried to become a new person with a new start, it would never be enough. It would never change who I really was on the inside. It would never change what I’d done.

Ryker knew about the drugs, and he’d heard some of the things that people had said, but he didn’t know the truth. I knew he must have some questions, and after tonight’s freak out, I knew I’d have to answer them.

Or leave him.

I didn’t want to do either.

I wanted to continue living my life pretending that everything was okay. I wanted to pretend that I was someone else. That I was normal. Even if I didn’t deserve him, I wanted to be selfish and keep Ryker as my own.

His arms pulled away from me, and all the warmth seeped out of my body. I shivered uncontrollably, my teeth chattering together.

“Ryker?” My voice was barely above a whisper.

“I’m here, Gabby. I’m just getting you some water.” His usually strong voice matched my whisper.

“You would run if you knew what was good for you.”

He came walking back with a tall glass of water. The ice cubes clinked against each other, the only sound in the otherwise silent room. I forced myself into a sitting position, my body feeling as if it was put through the wringer, and I winced at the pounding in my head and the aches making themselves known in my back. Without needing to ask, Ryker handed me one of my prescription strength ibuprofen. I popped it in my mouth and chased it down with a big gulp of the icy water.

“I don’t want to run,” Ryker said, responding to my earlier statement.

“You would if you knew the truth.”

“Why don’t you tell me the truth, then let me decide that for myself?”

I put my drink on the table and laid back down, rolling away from him. I didn’t want him seeing the tears that filled my eyes when I said what I needed to say. “Go home, Ryker.”

“No.”

“You don’t know me, Ryker!”

“We’ve had this conversation before, Gabby. I know you. You can’t fake everything you do around me. That shit’s real, and you fucking know it!”

Ryker rarely swore around me. My shoulders tensed, reaching for my ears. I was pissed at myself for getting him upset, but I felt as if I had to give him an out.

He grabbed my hands, forcing my attention on him. “This is a fucked up way to tell you, and not how I planned it at all, but I love you. I fucking fell in love with you, Gabby.”

Time seemed to stand still all around me. It was something I’d been wanting to hear from someone for a long time. I’d given up on finding someone to love and be loved by…until Ryker. The feelings I had for this man came instantly and had only grown stronger over time. I knew I was in love with him. I had fallen in love with him a while ago.

“It will turn into too big of a responsibility being with me,” I said sadly, “You’ve heard the things people say about me.”

“I don’t fucking care what people think or say!” Ryker’s voice was steadily rising. “The first time I met you, I saw how people acted around you, and you told me how much everyone hated you. I could’ve backed out then, and I could’ve backed out when I saw you again at the beach, but I didn’t, and I won’t!”

“You should.” My voice sounded emotionless.

“Yeah, you said that. Tell me why, dammit!”

“I’m too fucked up! Happy now?” I yelled, angry at him for finally getting a reaction out of me.

Ryker shook his head, his eyes a burning blue next to the gold. “You’re not fucked up.”

“What do you know about being fucked up, Ryker? Do you ever wake up at night in a cold sweat, screaming as if you’re being murdered? Do you ever break down into a full blown panic attack in public? I’m a crazy person, Ryker! Fucking crazy.”

Ryker looked confused. I nodded, confirming the question in his eyes. “When you stayed with me, it was the first time I’d slept soundly without nightmares.”

“So I’ll sleep with you every night,” he told me simply as if it were an obvious answer to my problem.

I gave him a small smile. “That’s what I mean, babe. I can’t have you staying with me just because you feel obligated. You can’t be my babysitter.”