Authors: J.J. McAvoy
“Not everyone is like you.”
“You’re like me,” he whispered. “But you would rather lock everything out. Joy, pain,
love. You work on anger and lust.”
“I don’t hate you, Liam. Goodnight.” I frowned, turning onto my side.
LIAM
And just like that, I wanted to smirk. I knew I had her. Step one, smother her with
love. Step two, take that love away. Step three, drag the raw emotions out of her
kicking and screaming. The moment I left the dining hall, I knew it was time for step
two. I planned step three for the morning, but she just had to talk it out now.
I knew who she was, and most of the time I loved it. But I didn’t have time to take
down her walls, brick by brick. I needed to find a weak point and then blow it up.
I would keep going, keep being cold to her until she admitted the truth to herself.
We weren’t just sex anymore. Even now as she drifted to sleep, I could feel her leaning
back for my warmth. She cared. She wanted to care more, but she was afraid.
Waiting until she was deeply asleep and muttering to herself, I reached over and hugged
her against me. She smelled amazing. Kissing her lips softly, I watched as she rolled
into my arms.
She wanted this. She wanted me. I was going to break her out of bitch mode . . . for
me. I enjoyed her bitching at Olivia.
“My sweet Mel. You’re going to admit you love me, even if you have to pull your hair
out to say it,” I whispered, kissing her forehead.
After all, everything between us was a game of chess, and the key to winning when
the game changes is to switch tactics. I had, and now checkmate was only one more
play away.
All I had to do was complete Step four and she would have to say it. Once she did,
we could be what we needed to be. However, I was going to need help, and sadly, that
meant Neal.
FIFTEEN
“If there is no struggle,
there is no progress.”
~ Frederick Douglass
CORALINE
I watched him through the mirror as we both prepared for church. Like always, Declan
was calm, collected, and deep in thought as he changed into the clothes I picked out
for him. He seemed to be on autopilot. Truthfully, I think he had been on autopilot
for a long time.
“I love you, Declan.” I smiled at him, causing him to stop and look at me oddly.
He walked over and kissed my cheek. “Me, too.”
On the outside I kept a smile plastered on my face even though I felt like screaming.
He didn’t say it back. He used to say, “I love you more.” But that seemed like ages
ago. Part of it was my fault—my habit. However, he was to blame as well. He stopped
talking to me. He stopped making me part of his life. I just stood on the sidelines
now, waiting for whenever he was drunk enough to want to have sex.
I brushed my hair and stared at myself, taking a deep breath before standing up.
“Are you ready?” he asked, trying to tie his tie. Even with my heels, I had to stand
on my tiptoes to help him.
“Yeah.” I smiled for him again. I always smiled for him.
Nodding, he took my hand and led me out. With each passing moment, it became clearer
and clearer what I needed, and it was Mel’s help.
DECLAN
I was going to hell. The moment I saw Melody step outside, I knew I was going to hell.
I was breaking so many sins at once, and on a Sunday no less. One, I lusted after
my cousin’s wife. Two, I was jealous of the type of relationship they had. And three,
my sweet wife was standing right beside me all the while, unaware.
I cared for Coraline deeply. Looking at her, I couldn’t help feeling like a complete
ass. She was so loyal and beautiful. However, she wasn’t the same full-of-life Coraline
I remembered. She was so strong when I first met her, she would laugh so hard she
would cry. Now . . . now I didn’t know what had fucking happened. Maybe she was scared
of me. Maybe she had seen too many bloody shirts. Either way, she stopped being my
Coraline a long time ago. Now I looked at Melody, wishing to God I could have one
night, and it made me hate myself.
Liam was only now starting to understand how lucky he was. Melody was passionate.
She enjoyed the job. She fucking wanted to be more involved in the job. Liam didn’t
understand. Every time Neal and I tried to confess to Coraline or Olivia our
sins
, they would look at us as if we were monsters. We
were
monsters. We knew that. But our wives shouldn’t think of us that way. Melody was
the opposite. During the wedding, she had congratulated Neal for passing her test.
She watched him put a bullet in a motherfucking Russian’s head from a helicopter and
came over to say good job, and meant it.
“Declan?”
Smiling, I took Coraline’s hand, walking her to the car door before opening it for
her. She looked at me oddly but I kissed her cheek. She smiled back like always as
we took our seats. She held my hand as I looked out the window.
I wasn’t going to cheat on Coraline. I would never cheat on Coraline . . . physically.
In my mind, I already had. This morning in the shower as I stroked myself, I already
had. All I thought about was Melody’s wet—
“Declan!” Coraline giggled, looking down at my erection in my pants.
“Fucking shit.” I tried to adjust myself.
She stopped me and began to unzip me, but I grabbed her wrist.
“You don’t—”
“I want to,” she said, pulling me out of my pants. I jerked in her hands.
“Coraline—”
“Shh, baby,” she whispered before taking me in her mouth.
Instinctively, my head went back, and I heard the driver change the music to something
louder. I trusted Sal. He wouldn’t dare speak a word.
I shivered when her tongue licked me. In my mind—because I was a fucking bastard—all
I could see was Melody. In my mind, it was Melody kissing my cock, and it made me
want to fuck her mouth. The moment Coraline . . . Melody took me into her mouth I
grabbed her head. She sucked faster and faster as I thrust my dick into her mouth.
Her beautiful brown eyes looked up seeing me coated in lust. I fucked the shit out
of her mouth, groaning madly until I came deeply at the back of throat.
When Melody released me, I grinned like an idiot, enjoying how she looked as she licked
me clean.
“Better?” the voice of Coraline asked, making me see clearly again.
I was going to hell. Damn it.
“Thank you, sweetheart.” I kissed her forehead as I put my dick back in my pants.
What the fuck was wrong with me?
Melody was not my wife. Coraline was my wife, and Coraline was great. Fuck me, I was
going to hell.
Taking Coraline’s hand, I tried not to think. I tried really hard not to think of
her. I was going to figure out something to make Coraline and me better because she
deserved better than this. I, as her husband, owed her better than this. I would be
better than this.
I took her hand and kissed it.
“Ready?” I asked her. She nodded, stepping out of the car.
I would be better . . . for her.
SIXTEEN
“It is only if the murderer is a good man
that he can be regarded as monstrous.”
~ Graham Greene
MELODY
“I know you’re awake,” he said coldly, as he stepped in from the bathroom. Opening
my eyes, I watched as he tied his tie.
“I wasn’t hiding the fact that I was. Is there a meeting I do not know of?” I replied,
sitting up. It was six thirty-two in the morning. Why the fuck was he getting dressed
at the ass-crack of dawn?
He sighed, bored, before turning around. “Yes. However, you do not need to concern
yourself with it seeing as it is a personal one. The moment the conversation shifts
to shooting puppies in the street, I will call you.”
Kill him. Cut his fucking balls off and shove them down his throat.
I could feel my eyebrow twitch at the tone of his voice. He was talking to me as if
I was a fucking child.
“You—”
“As much as I enjoy our verbal assaults, Melody, I really do have to get going,” he
said, walking toward the door. “I will meet you in the car for church. If you feel
like ranting then, by all means, scream your head off.”
I didn’t even think. One moment I was trying to breathe, next thing I knew, my hand
was under the pillow and I was firing at him. However, nothing happened. Instead,
Liam shook his head.
“Gun under the pillow? I hope you didn’t think I was just going to leave it loaded,”
he asked, ice dripping from his voice.
“You touched my gun!”
“I’ve touched more than your gun. Get over it,” he said, closing the door as he left.
The blood in my veins was boiling so badly, my skin was turning red.
Grabbing my phone, I tried not to yell when I heard the other voice on the line.
“Fedel, are you ready to redeem yourself?” I asked. I could almost hear him jumping
out of bed.
“Yes, ma’am, anything,” he replied right away.
“Liam has a breakfast this morning. I want every goddamn detail. He sneezes, I want
to know about it.”
“Of course, where is he?”
“I don’t fucking know! Do your job!” I screamed before hurling the phone at the wall,
shattering it and the mirror it hit. Running my hands through my hair, I tried my
best to breathe, but I was pissed off. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to kill something!
But I couldn’t—not now at least—so I stood still, breathing slowly, shutting out the
world around me. I didn’t allow myself to think, just breathe. I wasn’t sure how long
I stood still. All I knew was that my boiling blood was becoming cold.
“Ma’am.” Blinking, I came face to face with Adriana. “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’ve
been like this for an hour and you need to get ready for mass.”
I stared at her before turning to the clock, and sure enough it was seven forty-seven.
Nodding, I walked into the bathroom.
“Adriana, I need a new phone,” I said before stripping down and heading into the shower.
As much as I enjoyed the warmth of the water as it beat against my skin, I needed
to get a move on.
My father always said, never keep God waiting. When I stepped out, Adriana was already
waiting with a towel.
“Adriana, you will not be going to Camp with us,” I told her as I dried out my hair.
“Did I do something to upset you?”
“No, I simply have another assignment for you,” I replied, dropping the towel and
reaching for my underwear. “While we are gone, you are to train Coraline Callahan
in hand-to-hand combat. She wants to learn how to shoot as well, but she will fail
at it. Teach her the basics on knives. She may be good at that.”
Adriana handed me a blue dress with a white bow on the front to step into.
“How far am I to go, ma’am?” she asked. I knew she was worried about Declan.
Placing my earrings on, I thought for a moment. “Make sure any scars or bruises are
not visible and that she treats them quickly. Give her safety knives first.”
She placed my shoes before me and nodded. “Is that all, ma’am?”
“Yes, and don’t go soft on her. Make sure she understands it only gets worse after
Day One before it gets better,” I replied, stepping into my shoes before sitting down
so she could place a little bit of make up on my face.
Before she could reply, there was a knock at the door.
“Enter,” I called out. Fedel walked in quickly with a camera in his hands.
“Good morning—”
“Did he see you?” I asked, stretching my hand out for the camera.
“No.”
As I looked through the pictures, I felt my anger return. He sat across from a blonde
bimbo, leaning in close to her stupid fucking face.
“Her name is Natasha Briar. She attended the wedding with Amory. She came after Declan
and Neal met him for breakfast. They spoke for a few moments, and when he headed toward
the back, she followed. Twelve minutes later, he headed back into his car, where he
then went to a boxing club in south end.”
Do not overreact,
my mind screamed as my throat closed up.
Standing, I placed the camera down and grabbed my sunglasses along with my purse before
walking out of the room. I wasn’t going to think or say anything until later. Right
now, I just needed to breathe and stay calm. I would kill him, but not on a Sunday.
I didn’t kill anyone on Sundays, even if I really wanted to. Stepping outside the
doors, I watched as everyone spoke among themselves. I wasn’t sure how far away the
location of Liam’s breakfast was, but he was back and speaking quickly to Neal. He
stopped when his eyes caught mine.
Evelyn smiled. “You look beautiful, dear.”
“Thank you, Evelyn, as do you,” I said as I walked toward Liam’s Audi. His driver
held the door open, and I sat inside.
When Liam stepped in, newly showered and dressed, he didn’t bother looking at me.
Instead, he focused on his phone. In my mind, all I saw were the photos, and it made
me want to stuff the phone down his throat.