Ryder (9 page)

Over the years Max and I had led very different lives
—and I was happy that Max had made something great of his life. He was right, I was smarter than the average biker, but I was content with the life I’d chosen. At the Scorpions MC,
I was somebody
—my smarts had helped us survive against rival clubs and random gangs, time and again. We’d outwitted a few hostile takeovers with my strategies over the years.

My team needed me as much as I needed them. We looked out for one another in the man-eats-man jungle others called life. Yeah, the guys teased me about being a philosopher and a strategist—I took it all in my stride.

Why waste a good brain?

Yet Max and I had chosen to use our smarts in different ways. We would never see eye to eye on it, but we’d respect one another’s decisions. Live and let live.

Just before Max decided to leave the compound, the day of his fourteenth birthday, he came to my room and sat on the bed. I could tell by his face that it weighed heavily on him to leave me behind. But he’d decided to take his chances in the outside world, to give himself up to the authorities as a minor. It took a lot of guts to do what he did, I admired him for going after a better life than what Marianne had left us to live.

“What's up, brother?” I asked, looking up from the magazine I was reading. No, it wasn’t porn. I'd had enough of the real thing that I didn't need to read that shit—I had pussy on call nearly twenty-four-seven
. I was young, strong and horny. Even girls older than what I was threw themselves at me. I took what I wanted, when I wanted. Sometimes three bitches at once, proving that I was indeed a stud that could satisfy eager pussy. 

I was reading a music magazine. Music had been in my blood since I was in the womb, so I allowed myself this one small pleasure that was
only for me—to keep up with what was happening in the music industry, and follow my favourite bands.

Max’s face was serious. “Ryder, I've thought a lot about our childhood. How you saved my life—”

I knew where he was going with this conversation.
Fucking Tiny
.

Guilt wracked Max that I'd had to go to the detention
center and nearly lost my life in the process—all because I'd killed Tiny— out of self defence and to save my brother’s life.

What Max still didn't understand
, was that I'd do it again, in a heartbeat. I hated Tiny. There was no connection between us. If he had indeed fathered me, I didn't feel it in my gut. I hated the fucker for what he’d done to Marianne, to Max—and to me. I actually wished he'd died a slower and more painful death for all the agony and suffering he’d caused my family. Yes, I hated Tiny with every breath in my body.

“It’s history, Max. Let it go.”

I'd never told him the gory details of the day in the bathroom, but I didn't doubt for a second that he knew the whole truth. The other boys would’ve filled him in.

“Well, before I go, I want us to do something together.”

My eyebrows rose. What did he have in mind? He wasn’t one for threesomes, although I’d invited him to join in several times.

Max chuckled, breaking his serious tone. “I know what you’re thinking. No, it’s not about pussy. It’s about us—being brothers.”

He had my full attention now. I put the magazine down and waited.

“You know how we have been through hell since Marianne left?”

Unable to speak, I swallowed hard and nodded, blinking faster than normal.

“Well, I've figured we’
ve risen from the ashes. Like the phoenix.”

Where was Max going with this?

“Hammer helped me to do an internet search. There’s this mythical bird, called a Firebird, that just like the phoenix, has overcome great hardship to rise above it all.”

I sucked in a breath. That sounded just like us. I nodded, indicating that I understood what he meant.

“Hammer also found a guy that can do a tattoo of a Firebird for us—right over our hearts.”

“Max.
Fuck
.”

“I want us to have identical tattoos
, Ryder. So that we can always be reminded of one another. Every day when we look in a mirror, no matter where we are, we can remember where we came from—and how we overcame the fucked up childhood we were thrown into.”

I blinked a few times
more. Fuck, my throat was tight and I struggled to breathe.

I nodded. “Fuck yeah. Let’s do it.”

Max grinned. “It’s all set up, brother. The guy’s waiting. No time like the present.”

I had to give it to Max—he was tenacious. A fighter. My brother.

I loved the cunt.

I had to get Mia to the hospital. She wasn’t well,
in fact she was getting worse by the day. She’d contracted a fever and was so depressed that she slept all day, hardly getting out of bed to have a shower. Fuck, taking care of her and two kids wore me down.  I couldn’t do this shit much longer before going stir crazy. So eventually I decided to take Mia to the hospital—there was no other way.

She
’d convinced me to call Jade to come help out and to look after the kids while we were gone. I’d never told Mia what’d happened between Jade and I. Five weeks had passed since that day I’d lost my mind and said crazy shit to Jade. I had a feeling it wouldn’t go down well with Mia.

In a moment of insanity,
I gave in and agreed to ring Jade. At first she was surprised as fuck to hear my voice. When she’d commented that first day about loving kids and helping us out in a crisis, I don’t think she thought in million years she’d actually be taken up on her offer. And after what happened between us, I was surprised she didn’t hang up on me.

Since it was a
seriously bad idea to drag the kids out to the hospital, I’d agreed. So here I was, standing with baby Isabella on my hip, waiting for Jade to show up. Part of me didn’t think she would. Just like most other people, she’d find a reason to back out. Plus, she’d never forgive me for the things I’d said to her. I was counting on it.

I expected her to call with some
fucking lame excuse any minute. Mia sat by the door, ready and eager to leave for the hospital the second Jade arrived. Somehow Mia trusted Jade to be true to her word. Some fucking bullshit about women’s intuition that was never wrong. Yeah, so give me the fucking correct lottery numbers and I’ll believe that shit.

The doorbell rang. I was taken by surprise when I realised I’d been listening for her heels on the pavement. If it was
indeed her, she’d snuck up on us. Jesus, I was losing my grip—it could be any motherfucker at the door.

I’m
here to protect Mia and the kids
.

Adrenaline spiked my bloodstream and I placed a hand on my gun.

Just feeling the cold metal against my skin slowed my breathing a notch. I was back in control. Fuck yeah.

I peered through
the peephole. It was her—the snarky bitch with the larger-than-life attitude. I suppressed a smile as I opened the door.

Standing there with a teddy bear in one hand and a toy truck in the other, I narrowed my eyes
, taking her in. There was something about her that was different. And way more appealing. Her hair, which was usually tied into a business like bun, hung softly around her face, framing her big eyes and wide smile. She wore washed out jeans that hugged her womanly hips and a tight T-shirt that revealed the soft skin of her belly when she lifted her arms to cuddle the baby. The T-shirt had a big red heart on it with NYC below it and accentuated her magnificent rack. 

“
Before you judge—” She laughed, a soft melodious sound. “I just got back from New York last week. Went there to see my cousin, Rebecca. She flew in from Europe for a meeting with her boss. But she’s actually from Australia, so we went crazy, shopping up a storm. Hence the T-shirt.”

She must have noticed how I was scrutinising her.
And she was babbling. If there was one thing I did know about women, it was that they babbled when they were nervous.

Actually
, I couldn’t tear my fucking eyes away from her. She looked real for the first time, without all that usual shit on her face women liked to hide behind.  I’d nearly forgotten just how beautiful she was.

Since that last day I’d seen her,
uninvited visions of her face kept flashing in my mind, a million times over—day and night. I just couldn’t shake it.

Mia laughed.
“Hey, honey. The kids can be a handful. I really appreciate your help and your time.”

“No pr
oblem, I did offer.” She gave Mia a smile, so genuine and radiant, that I felt it all the way to the pit of my stomach. Why was the bitch being so goddamn fucking sweet? I liked her better when she was feisty. That I could handle.

I didn’t know what to do with sweet.

Isabella
stuck out her arms and cooed. Jade gave her the teddy bear. It wasn’t a new one. “This is what I found in my room. Mr. Bear said he wanted to come and see you tonight. Is that OK?” The baby girl squealed with delight and grabbed hold of the teddy in her plump hands.

Jade
bent down to be eye level with James who was holding on for dear life to Mia’s leg. She patted his head gently. “And look what I borrowed from my big brother. He didn’t even know it was in the basement. Want to come play with it?” James let go of his mother’s leg and hugged Jade.

My mouth went dry. Her heart shaped ass was delectable.
Fuck. My gaze locked on the dip of her back, the way it curved sensuously and the smooth skin that was revealed as her T-shirt rode up ... My hands trembled, I had an uncontrollable urge to touch her.

Jesus, I wanted to bend her over the table and —

“Hey, big boy.” Mia was pulling at my arm. “Let’s go while the kids are happy.”

“
Sure,” I grunted, shaking my head. Even though she wasn’t aware of it, Princess was fucking with my head.
I’d better get out.
Fast.

Mia hooked her arm into mine, smiling knowingly at me. Fuck, she knew what I was thinking. Fuck women’s intuition.

I glanced back, against my better judgement. Both kids were happy and oblivious to our departure. Even clingy Jamie, afraid of strangers, was into this chick. Well, fuck me running.

She smiled at me from under her lashes
, her eyes soft and dewy. For some reason it made me hard. Seeing how good she was with kids brought out my ancient primal urge to drag her to my cave and fuck her senseless, filling her with
my
sperm. My cock twitched and my balls ached.

Fuck, I needed relief. Soon.

Luckily the trip to the hospital was uneventful.
We’d taken Mia’s car, not my Harley. I didn’t want to draw attention to us. We were still in danger from retaliation from our enemy club and I wasn’t taking chances. While Mia was taken care of by the staff, I sat alone, drinking the god-awful brew the hospital cafeteria sold as coffee, and thought of
her
. Princess bitch.
Fuck.

Stunned, I realised it was the first time in my life any bitch had that kind of effect on me
. I’d sworn after our whore of a mother disappeared and left Max and me to fend for ourselves, I’d never fall into the trap of falling hard for any bitch.

When I was a boy, I’d made up my mind that I wouldn’t give another woman a chance to desert me like Marianne had. To throw me away as if I were a fucking worthless piece of shit. Mia had been the only woman to break through my defences in all those years. And now Jade was crawling under my skin—not in a good way.

As for other women—I’d fuck them, usually not more than a handful of times, always avoiding it becoming personal. I never built expectations, never put a woman on the back of my bike. Not even Mia. And that was the way my life would remain.

This fucking obsession I had suddenly developed for this piece of blond ass was simply a temporary phase.
A glitch. Once I’d fucked her a few times, I’d exorcise her out of my fucking system and move on.

Yeah, that’s what I needed to do. Since Mia had become ill, I hadn’t emptied my balls. I comforted myself with the knowledge that was all it was—an overfull ball-sack that needed emptying. I hadn’t had a pretty blond in a while, neither a woman as curvy as Jade, so of course I just needed a bit of variety. Yeah.
That was it.
Fuck.

Now that
I’d worked out why Jade was affecting me the way she was, I felt better on the drive home. I just needed to get to her pussy and satisfy my primal urges, and I’d be back to my normal self. Relief washed over me. I’d always been a logical thinker, and this problem with my hard-ons around
her
was nothing other than a temporary problem.

Mia cha
tted all the way back to the house. Luckily she hadn’t noticed that I'd gone quiet. Her spirit had lifted and she was in the best mood she’d been in a while. I was glad she felt better, but that still didn’t solve my dilemma with Jade.

My cock-
sure smile faded when I walked into the lounge room. Jade and the kids weren’t there. Fuck. I got Mia to hide behind the couch, showing her to be quiet and wait there. Her eyes were the size of saucers and she breathed hard, her hand over her mouth.

Frantic, I dashed through the house, my gun in my hand.
My grip tightened around the butt, my finger on the trigger.

Jesus fucking Christ, don’t te
ll me something happened to Jade and the kids while I was gone
.

If anything went down tonight...if anyone harmed any one of them, I'd kill those motherfuckers in the blink of an eye.

Sweat trickled down my back.

Easy
, Ryder.

I pushed open the door of the main bedroom. Nothing.
Dread rose in my chest.

Fuck.

A
fraid that someone was still in the house, I didn’t call out. But I wanted to holler out to Jade, at the top of my fucking lungs, so she could hear me for certain.

This shit was scaring the fucking life out of me.

Every room was empty. No traces of where they were. No clues.

My head hurt and my heart hammered
my fucking chest to shit. There was only one room left—the guest room, at the far end of the passage.

Holding the gun with both hands to control the trembling,
I rounded the corner, gun first.

Please God, they had to be there.
Please
.

I hadn’t prayed or asked for anything since that day in the bathroom all those years ago.

But I would give anything now, even my life, to know that they were safe.

I pushed the door open
with the gun, holding my breath.

Christ.

Sprawled on the bed, a child tucked into each side of her, Jade was fast asleep, unaware of the turmoil she’d caused. She looked so innocent, her hair spread like a halo around her face.

I wanted to kiss her and then spank her and then fuck her and then kiss her again.

Yeah.

I’m
fucked
.

Fuck.