S is for Stranger (8 page)

I told her about the photos.

‘Look, no matter what anyone thinks about Bethany’s death, there are facts glaring us all in the face. Bethany died twenty years ago, on my birthday. Twenty years later Amy disappears. I receive a call, I receive photos. This is someone who wants to hurt me, or wants me dead.’ My voice cracked. ‘Or Amy dead.’

Faye gasped. ‘Don’t talk like that, Sophie. There will be some innocent explanation.’

I couldn’t do this any more. The light-headedness had returned and I stumbled forward a couple of steps and, without warning, my legs collapsed beneath me and I fell onto my knees. The sound of the little girl still squealing grew achingly louder.

What I presumed was seconds later, I came around and found the mother of the girl gazing at me with concern. ‘Are you OK?’ she asked, her hand resting on mine. ‘Shall I call an ambulance?’

I shook my head and focused on breathing deeply. ‘Would you mind just helping me to a bench? I think I’m just feeling a bit faint.’

‘Of course not,’ the woman said and I gathered my phone off the pavement before being gently steered to the nearest seat. The girl hid behind her mother’s leg.

‘Are you sure I shouldn’t call someone for you?’

I shook my head and smiled gratefully; the dizziness had started to pass. ‘No, you’ve been very kind, thank you.’

‘OK, if you’re sure you’re all right?’

I nodded. ‘Just been very tired recently.’

Her eyebrows furrowed and then relaxed. She smiled. ‘Come on, you,’ she said to the girl. ‘Let’s do your laces up. We’re going to be late.’

The girl sat down and looked up at me. She smiled goofily and offered me a gummy bear from her pocket. It was covered in grains of sand.

‘I’m sure the lady doesn’t want that, Melissa.’ The mother smiled apologetically.

I took the sweet and smiled at the girl. ‘Thank you, that’s very kind. My favourite colour too.’ It took everything in my power not to hug her and hold her tightly against me. She was a younger version of Amy and, as she busied herself with the badges covering her sash, my heart swelled with longing. I wanted my little girl back. Holding the sticky sweet in my palm, I was reminded of prising open Amy’s small hand less than twenty-four hours ago and watching the lolly fall to the ground.

After a few minutes, the girl jumped off the bench and waved goodbye.

‘Take care of yourself,’ the woman said over her shoulder.

I thanked her again before I realised my phone was ringing.

‘Hello?’ I answered quietly.

‘Sophie, are you all right?’ Faye sniffed; I knew she was trying to hold herself together for my sake.

‘I’m fine,’ I lied. ‘Just lost signal.’

Faye’s pregnant pause told me she knew I was lying.

‘Sophie, I’m worried about you.’ She added, ‘If you need me I’m always here for you.’ She hesitated and
I could sense she was trying not to cry. ‘Please let me know if there’s anything I can do. Your parents would be so worried.’ She paused. ‘Are you feeling yourself lately or …’ Her voiced trailed off. ‘I mean, I know that sometimes you get a bit confused.’

I didn’t like where this was going and I promised to phone with any further news before hanging up.

I sat on the bench for a while watching the world go by. The sun glinted off a large bronze figure of a man walking his dog; a piece of art commissioned by the council. The gleam hit my eyes as I shifted forward on the bench to try and read the plaque beneath it.

I was suddenly struck by an image.

My memory was hazy. A knife. I closed my eyes, let out an audible gasp as I could almost feel the prick of the knife’s point in my back. I shook, my stomach swirled with anguish and the lapping waves of nausea trickled in and out of my brain. I urged my mind to think further, to remember anything. A fragmented image of a hand and I squeezed my eyes shut even tighter. But then all I saw was black. The same black that had erased my memory twenty years ago, and I had woken up in my own bed.

I opened my eyes, my knuckles white as I gripped my handbag.

It was time to meet the clinical psychologist.

CHAPTER 10

Darren Fletcher had agreed to meet me straight away because of the urgency of the case. He was stood outside Acton Green Tube station. He wore scruffy jeans and a navy blue wool jacket. He was busy making small talk with the florist as I exited. He approached me.

‘Sophie? I’m Darren.’

We shook hands.

‘How are you holding up?’

‘I’m not.’

‘You’re doing well,’ he said.

‘How do you know?’ I arched a brow.

‘I mean, you’re here. You’re trying.’ He gave another small smile. ‘It’s admirable.’

We walked toward the green.

‘I know this is probably hard for you, but I thought whilst the fair is still here, it might jog another memory.’

The rides and tents were indeed all still in place, only this time, it being mid-week, they weren’t lit up and instead the green had assumed a deathly solitude about it.

I looked to where the candyfloss seller had been set up. There was nothing there now. My eyes smarted.

Darren looked at me. ‘Tell me what you’re thinking.’

‘That’s where Amy was when she disappeared.’

‘Right.’ He caressed his unshaven chin. ‘And where were you?’

I walked a few metres on. ‘Here.’

‘OK, close your eyes, Sophie.’ He looked around us. ‘There’s no one about, so try to relax and remember the sights and smells of the day.’

I nodded.

‘What could you smell?’

‘Um,’ I hesitated. ‘Candyfloss, hot dogs, Paul’s cologne.’ I opened my eyes. ‘Even though he wasn’t there with me at that point.’

‘OK, close your eyes again, Sophie. That’s really good. How did it feel? Was it warm?’

‘Yeah, it was pretty warm. The sun was on my face.’

‘OK, and then you had a call. So you got your phone out of your bag?’

I nodded. ‘I got my phone out and I was looking over there.’ I pointed, not opening my eyes.

‘Right, and this woman’s voice, did you know right away that this was the same woman who spoke to Amy earlier? The same one you saw outside the hamburger joint?’

‘Yes.’

‘And how do you think you came to that conclusion, because I presume you had never heard her voice before?’

I hadn’t thought about that. ‘Gut instinct, I guess.’

I sensed Darren shuffle slightly. A couple walked past chatting, then stopped as they came up alongside us. I opened my eyes, suddenly self-conscious. Darren smiled.

‘Don’t worry, it’s London. They won’t have thought anything of it.’

I nodded, closed my eyes, willed my mind to focus. ‘Yes, I knew it was her. I could just sense it, the woman’s voice sounded so familiar, like a voice you would never forget.’

‘OK, did you hear anything else? Maybe in the background?’

‘No,’ I started, and then my eyes snapped open. ‘Yes, I do remember. I thought I heard someone calling my name.’

‘Could it have been Amy?’

‘No, it was really similar to the voice on the phone.’

‘So this woman was speaking to you and you could hear another person calling your name? A woman or a child? Go on, try and go further with that, Sophie.’

‘I didn’t think anything of it, thought it was just some woman nearby, a strange coincidence, you know? But come to think of it it’s like there were two of them on the phone.’ I squinted into the sun.

Darren came up and held my arm. ‘That was good. Really good.’ He gestured in front of him. ‘Let’s talk about Bethany. Tell me about when you first met her.’

We walked and talked, and I felt comfortable.

‘As soon as I saw her, I knew it was love. Bethany was beautiful.’ I blushed. ‘I mean not in that way, but she had a magic about her.’

He nodded and I went on.

‘She wasn’t beautiful in an obvious way, no. She had a slightly wonky front tooth and when she was sad,’ I paused, ‘which turned out to be quite often, it’s hard to explain but it was as if her face didn’t emanate the same glow, the same wonder.’

‘What did you feel about Bethany when she was sad?’ He gently kicked at some leaves as his foot hit the grass.

‘I loved her in those moments as much as any. Because, on those few occasions, she needed me. I always wanted her to need me because she knew I needed her.’

‘Why did you need her?’

I shrugged. ‘I’m not sure, I think it was because she just got me. No one, not even my boyfriends,’ I stopped, ‘including Oliver, ever got me like she did.’

‘So tell me about when you first met.’

We rounded the green now and started heading back on ourselves.

‘We had introduced ourselves briefly on the first day. She had been dropped off by her mother and, I could tell, her mum was relieved that Bethany had met someone who might look out for her daughter. To be honest, Bethany hadn’t struck me as the kind of girl who needed protection.’ I chuckled. ‘She had bags of confidence. Or, at least, I had thought she did. Within minutes of introductions, we were swept out the door by our other housemates and we all headed to the student union bar. I tried to talk further with her, but I was jostling for her attention. The guys couldn’t keep their eyes off her!’

‘Did you find her attractive?’ Darren was gazing into the distance as we spoke.

‘Yes, I mean she had long legs and tanned arms – she had clearly been in the sun over the summer.’ I smiled. ‘In contrast, I was pasty – I hadn’t got out much, not since the accident – choosing to spend my time in my room.’

Darren slowed. ‘The accident?’

I swallowed hard. ‘Yeah, I remember it had been a warm evening when they came to the door. I tried to take in what the young WPC was saying.’ I stopped now. ‘She was telling me my parents were dead. A car accident.’

I gave Darren a sidelong look. He was frowning.

‘It wasn’t until the police woman had driven me to the hospital and I was asked to ID my parents that the tears came. After that, there was no consoling me.’

‘So, you were eighteen?’

I nodded. ‘Yes, Faye, the cleaner, had brought me meals and tried to chivvy me along but, for two months, I wouldn’t speak to anyone. I realised now, it must’ve been hard for her too. My parents had been her family, and me, her daughter. I had no other family: we depended entirely on one another.’

I felt old wounds reopening and I willed myself not to cry now.

‘Go on,’ Darren encouraged.

‘Well, walking along that night, heading to the union, I was amazed I was even at university. I had received my A-level grades in the midst of that bleak summer and I had barely registered the two As and a B. It had taken a lot of persuasion but, in the end, Faye had won: “It’s what your father would have wanted for you,” she had said.’ I paused. ‘She was right.’

‘So you’re walking to the union and do you ever talk to Bethany?’

‘Yes, eventually. I desperately wanted to join in the conversation but I was shy around her.’

The October breeze blew across my face and reminded me of our conversation that night.

‘I remember she asked me if I was cold and she gave me her jacket.’ I gave a small laugh. ‘I remember her smile made me go weak at the knees.’

‘What exactly was so attractive about her?’

‘Well, even more than her physical beauty it was this strange power she had. It kind of left me wanting to be her.’

‘Later, did you feel jealous of her? Did she have something you wanted?’

I stopped walking again and Darren turned to me, his face open. I wondered if I really could trust this man. I felt like I was talking about subjects that I shouldn’t admit to anyone, let alone a therapist working for the force. I wondered if this was somehow a leading question.

‘Yes, I was jealous of Bethany.’

‘Why?’ he pushed.

When I didn’t speak, he said, ‘Sophie, I’m trying to make you remember and sometimes that hurts, I know.’

‘I was jealous of her ability to have people eating out the palms of her hands,’ I hesitated, ‘mainly me.’

He nodded. ‘OK, so what else do you remember from that night? Anything?’

‘Yes, I asked her about her tan.’ We had started to walk again. ‘And apparently her father had paid for some expensive holiday for her and her mum, but he hadn’t gone. It was clearly a really sore point as she didn’t speak to me for the rest of the evening.’

‘Were you upset by that?’

‘Yes,’ I admitted, ‘ridiculously I was. I had only known her for all of five minutes and she already had me feeling guilty.’

‘So did you guys make up that night?’

‘Yes, I remember, on the way home, I hung back again. I was still wearing her denim jacket; it smelt floral, like the perfume she wore. She told me to keep the jacket and said she didn’t like to speak about her dad. She never went into why.’

‘What did you say?’

I shrugged. ‘I think I apologised and I remember being relieved because that’s something we had in common. She didn’t like talking about her dad and I didn’t want to talk about my parents and the accident.’ I nodded, thinking. ‘Yeah, I felt good after that. Like I had found my soul mate. In fact, she was like the sister I never had. I needed her.’

Darren nodded, gave a small smile. ‘Sophie, you’re doing really well.’ He pursed his lips before continuing, ‘So, you think your past is important in finding Amy?’ I nodded. ‘And I agree. What we need to do is find out why now. Why twenty years later?’ He waited for my confirmation. Again, I nodded. ‘OK, why twenty years later, you believe the person involved in your friend’s murder is linked to Amy’s disappearance.’ He pinched the
bridge of his nose, thinking. ‘Do you know if Bethany had any troubles at university with a stalker? Or someone who maybe developed some sort of obsession with her?’

I stopped abruptly. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean you believe your friend was murdered. We need to figure out why.’ He studied my face. ‘I mean when you talk about her, Bethany sounds like an intriguing person. She clearly had some sort of hold over you.’

I took a sharp intake of breath. ‘She never had a hold over me,’ I corrected him, even though I was lying. ‘She was just the family I didn’t have any more.’