Sacked (The Alpha Ballers#2) (20 page)

I just didn’t know what it was, but it was starting to keep me up at night, and I didn’t like it one bit.

Finally, at around 2 or 3 in the morning, long after I had come back to my apartment and gotten into bed, I sat up and rolled the blankets off me, determined to figure out what was causing this worry all of a sudden.

What did I do when I need to think something through? I paced, that’s what I did, and this time was no different.

Of course with each step I took I wished that Lance were in my tiny and cramped apartment with me, his giant arms wrapped around me and keeping me warm. I looked around, realizing that I barely spent any time here even on my off-days, and didn’t plan on changing that at any point soon.

Sandy was already on my case about not spending enough time with her, and I felt guilty about it, but with all the stuff going on with Lance and Oliver and the team, it just felt like most of the time my rightful place was at the Patriots facility, just in case.

I shook my head to try and clear these thoughts away - none of this was getting at the root of the problem. There was something bothering my subconscious and it had to do with Lance and me, and I needed to know what it was sooner rather than later so I could figure it out.

It took me 30 more minutes of pacing around my apartment in the dark, and making a cup of tea for myself to drink while continuing to pace before I figured it out. It really wasn’t just one thing, it was three things bothering me.

The first was that Lance Parker still had that rule of his. At any moment now he could clam up again and say that he really needed to focus on his career and the team, and blah blah blah all that stuff that I knew was really, really important to him but only seemed to come out when he was trying to tell me that we needed to stay further apart than we were. If I had to guess, something like that was coming again soon, right on schedule.

The second was that I didn’t know if I was cut out to date someone who was in the spotlight with the media and the internet like Lance was. If he got his way and brought a championship home to New England, he was only going to get more famous. What was a small town girl like me supposed to do with a rich, famous, and gorgeous boyfriend every girl around the world would swoon over? How could I have any peace of mind in a relationship like that?

The third was that I was just in way too deep way too fast with this guy. Here I was on a new coast, new job, barely knew anyone in town, and I spent all my time fawning over a guy I’d slept with on the first night. Was that really the right way to go? Of course, my connection with Lance felt so strong that I thought it must be fate, but was I really just deluding myself?

It felt like I had made some progress with all this pacing and tea-drinking, and when I finally climbed back into bed and pulled the blankets over me, snuggling back in, I managed to get to sleep.

In the morning, though, I realized that while I had figured out maybe what was bothering me, I really hadn’t figured out what to do about any of it.

Not good, Charlotte, not good at all.

CHAPTER 17 - LANCE

The next two weeks passed so quickly it almost made my head spin. I was getting healthier by the day, getting my weight back up, and I finally was able to plant my weight on my right knee just fine. I even managed to get back into the weight room, where everyone was surprised and thrilled to see me, except Oliver Lee, of course.

Hud and Drake both came up to me and watched me lift in between their sets, shouting encouragements the entire time. I loved being back in there with them, despite all the noise and the sweat. It just felt good to be getting stronger again. Every day in the gym or on the practice field was another step closer to getting back on the field on game day. I could almost taste it.

Things with Charlotte and I were better than ever. I would never have believed it before hand, but opening up to her about my fears about coming back to play really made things between us a lot better. I’d figured she wanted a guy who was gruff and knew what to do all the time, and I never would have guessed that showing any vulnerability would have been attractive to her, but she seemed to be happier than ever in those next couple weeks.

Of course, that made me happy too. She brightened the room whenever she came in, and each time I looked at her I wanted to do naughtier and naughtier things to her. I still wasn’t sure just how much she shared that desire, but I did catch some reassuring long looks and subtle touches from her.
 

There were more than zero stolen kisses each day too, but I figured that happened all the time, right? Right?

Every time she left my room I had a smile on my face.

One day she came in and had an even bigger smile than usual, which worked its magic on me as expected. “What?” I asked. “What’s going on?”

Charlotte danced over to my bed and set down the tray she was carrying. “I’ve just overheard something you’d like to hear!”

“What? Come on, Charlotte, this isn’t high school, don’t make me beg for any scrap of information.”

“Come on, let me have my fun just once. Take a guess.”

“Hmmm…you’ve been fired and this is your last day?”

“No, that would be even better than my actual news, for both of us, but neither of us are that lucky today,” she quipped, letting the sarcasm fly.

“OK, then what is it? Come on, out with it. Even if I haven’t guessed enough, you look like you’re ready to burst.”

“I am, pretty much.” She leaned forward till I could feel her soft breath on me. “You’re about to be cleared to play by the medical staff,” she whispered in my ear, before she kissed me on the cheek.

“Get out of town,” I looked at her, wonder spreading over my face.

“I heard it from the head of medical myself,” Charlotte said, closing her eyes.

I pulled her back down, kissing her on the lips. “That’s the best news ever.”

She stood back up, adjusting her shirt. “Ever, eh?” She said, cocking an eye my way and winking at me.

“OK, maybe not ever. But close.”

“That’s better. OK, I can’t stay long, you’ve got a visitor.”

“Who?”

“And spoil the fun? These lips are sealed.”

I was still smiling as I watched her sexy ass leave the room.

That smile was wiped right off when Coach Armstrong came in after her. I sat up immediately. “Good morning, Coach!” I tried to sound chipper but not too eager.

“Parker.” He sat down in the chair next to my bed. “I hear the medical team is going to clear you to play.”

I figured it couldn’t hurt to pretend I hadn’t heard that. It was still so new to me that the surprise was mostly still genuine. “That’s really great news, Coach, I’m so glad to hear it. It feels like I’ve been in here forever, and I just want to get back out on the field and play, help the team out…”

I realized I was blabbering in front of the coach and I stopped, looking sheepish. To his eternal credit, Coach Armstrong didn’t look much like he cared.

“It’s good news for you certainly, Parker. It’s been rough not having you around on game days.”

“I know, sir, and I’m ready to make up for it, whatever you need, whatever the team needs, I’m there.”

“I know you are, which is why I’m sure you’ll be OK with what I’m about to say.”

All the happiness I felt drained away in a half second after he said that. “Uh, OK, Coach, what is it?”

“Oliver Lee is going to keep starting. You’ll be his backup until further notice.”

Even before he said it I kinda knew what he was going to say, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. “Oh, OK.”

“I know you’re not thrilled about it, but he’s been playing well enough that we think he gives us the best shot to make the playoffs at the moment.”

“I understand, Coach.”

“That doesn’t mean you don’t have to prepare or anything. I want you ready for each game here on out. Lee may be starting right now, but he’s as untested as ever. And I need you waiting in the wings just in case.”

“I won’t let you down, Coach.”

“I know you won’t, son.” He stood up and left the room without another word.

I slumped back against the bed, shocked. I wasn’t going to get my starting job back after all. Fucking Oliver Lee was going to keep me from getting what I wanted.

All this work, all this stress, all for nothing. All the joy I had felt when Charlotte whispered in my ear that I was cleared to play again turned to ash, and I felt none of it anymore.

The door opened and Charlotte came back in, a huge smile on her face. “Well? That was Coach Armstrong, what did he say?” She practically bounced all the way from the door to the chair I was sitting in, but then she slowed as she realized I wasn’t nearly as happy as she expected me to be. “Is…Is everything alright?” She almost whispered.

I sighed. “Yeah, it’s fine. Coach just told me Lee’s going to keep starting for now.”

Instantly, Charlotte’s face clouded over and she pulled up another chair and sat next to me. “Oh, Lance, I’m so sorry to hear that. Did he say anything about why? You’re the starter!”

“I know, I know, but Lee’s starting to warm up and he says it’s in the best interest of the team to go with the hot hand for now.” I paused, then added glumly, “but I’m supposed to stay ready just in case.” I looked up. “Like a true backup.”

Charlotte almost had tears in her eyes and I wanted to wrap my arms around her and pull her into me, tell her it would be alright, but I couldn’t. I was too numb all of a sudden. All that work, all the recovery time, all that physical therapy, and I was going to be riding the bench after all.

Charlotte reached over and took my hand and we sat there for a few minutes without speaking. Finally, she opened up, wiping her face off with the other hand. “This is only temporary, Lance. You’ll be starting again in no time, I just know it,”

“I hope you’re right.”

“Hope?” She said, her voice flaring up. “Don’t give me that. You’ve gotten this far and you’re gonna go all the way. I believe in you, Lance Parker, even if you don’t.”

I looked deep into her eyes, unable to say just how much I appreciated her. “Thank you, Charlotte.” She leaned forward, like she was going to kiss me, but she pulled back at the last moment.
 

“I have to go,” she said, standing up and looking in the mirror to make sure everything looked appropriate. “I’ll check in on you later, OK?”

I stood up after her. “Su-sure.” I watched her head toward the door. “Is everything OK? I asked, suddenly sure that everything was not OK.

“Y-yeah, everything’s fine,” Charlotte said, adding a small laugh to the end of it. “I’m sorry to hear you’ll be on the bench, Lance, but I know it’ll be only temporary.”

She left the room right after that, and I sat back down in the chair, definitely sure that something was going on but unable to put my finger on it. Clearly something was bothering Charlotte and it had nothing to do with me being on the bench.

Or maybe it did? Was she having second thoughts about pursuing something real with me, whether now or when the season ended? Was there another guy involved?

All these thoughts rolled around my head and I couldn’t shake them, and I couldn’t get out from under them.

I didn’t have time to wallow for too long, because I had to attend practice. It felt strange being out on the field after all that time with players running at full speed, running routes, going through plays, and preparing for our next opponent, but I got into the rhythm really quickly again.

Practice was a little different for the backup quarterback than the starter - instead of playing with the offensive starters, I pretended to be our upcoming opponent’s offense against our defensive starters. I didn’t like having to pretend to play like someone else, but I couldn’t be too mad - being out in the sun and playing even fake football for a change felt amazing. I noticed Charlotte watching from the sidelines and I could see the smile on her face, which warmed me inside and took off a lot of the sting of seeing Oliver Lee working with the offensive starters on the other side of the field.

After practice, I plopped myself down on the bench, cup of water in one hand and a towel in the other, mopping the sweat off my brow in buckets. I leaned over so it wouldn’t get me any wetter. I must still have been a little out of shape because I didn’t remember practices taking this much of a toll on me earlier in the season.

Drake saw me and came over after his huddle broke up and dropped down next to me, and turned to me after an assistant handed him water and another towel.

“Great day to be back on the field, eh, QB?”

I looked over at him, covering my face with my towel. “Sure beats the alternative.”

“Can’t wait to have you starting again, my man, when’s that gonna be?”

I looked forward, unable to meet Drake’s gaze. “Not up to me, man, ask Coach Armstrong.”

“You mean?” Drake whistled out loud. “Lee’s gonna keep starting even though you’re back and ready?”

I nodded.”

“Ain’t that some shit.”

“You’re telling me.”

Drake leaned in, lowering his voice. “Don’t worry about it, Lance. You know you’ll be starting soon. Lee may be on an alright run, but everyone on the team knows the job’s still yours, you hear?”

“Thanks, man, but if Coach doesn’t agree, it doesn’t much matter what the team thinks.” I pulled the towel away and looked at Drake. “I’ve seen your stats, they don’t seem to have taken a hit.”

Drake looked forward, clearly wanting to avoid smiling and failing. “Man, I just catch what they throw me. I just wish it was you doing the throwing, man, we could be having a season for the ages out here.”

“Still could.”

Drake clapped me on the back. “That’s it, man, that’s gonna get you back on the field with me. Just you wait.”

“I’m waiting, I’m waiting. I’ve been waiting for weeks.”

“It’ll happen. Don’t you worry.”

“I know, but sometimes it’s tough, you know?” I didn’t want to sound defeatist, I didn’t want to sound like I was whining, but this was raw and pure honesty.

Drake looked at me at first like I had broken some unspoken rule, then he nodded. “I know it, brother, believe me I know it. You think preseason was easy for me, always on the bubble, never knowing whether I would make the team or not?”