Sacred Surrender (4 page)

Madison didn’t want to leave the small kitchen and finish her unpacking.  She was afraid if she did, his scent would diminish before she’d gotten enough of it.  She did want to at least get her bedroom unpacked and set up before she headed to bed later.  A good night sleep after too many nights of sleeping in hotel rooms or on the hard floor, gave her the incentive to get her ass moving.  She took in one last deep breath and filed away Rowan’s scent, placing it in her senses memory bank to get her through the tedious work that lay ahead of her.  Reluctantly, she strode to the back bedroom that was the master, grabbed a hair scrunchie from atop one of the many boxes that littered the room, pulled her dark hair up into a ponytail and got to work. 

The doorbell rang that hideous bonging sound as Madison hung the last of her clothes in the large walk-in closet.  Of all the wonderful attributes of the house enticing her to buy it, the closet was the one thing   she would cherish more than anything.  She’d never had a walk-in closet and had dreamt of the day when she could find her clothes within seconds instead of rifling through an overstuffed tiny room deemed as a closet.  She didn’t have a lo
t of clothes, not on a college students part time salary, but what she had she was pleased with and now she would be able to see her lot spread out before her eyes.  She wiped the sweat from her brow, tucked a loose hair behind her ear, and breathed a sigh of relief.  Her room was completely unpacked, set in order just waiting for her to take full advantage with a peaceful night’s sleep.  She pulled the brown and tan checkered comforter tight just as the doorbell rang again. 

Quickly, Madison made her way up the hall, realizing for the first time the day had slipped away from her.  The big pane glass window revealed the orange sky that indicated the sun was already setting.  Wow, she must have been completely caught up in her mission to accomplish her bedroom to work straight into the evening.  Reaching the door, she peered through the peephole and was taken aback.  Rowan stood on the other side.  The only thing separating them was the country style one and half inch wood door.  Here she stood; her hair a mess, sweat beading on her forehead and upper lip, looking as if she’d just barely survived an infamous Kansas tornado.  She couldn’t believe he actually came back and she was even more mortified he would see her looking as if she’d slept under the boardwalk for months. 

Chapter 3

Rowan rang the doorbell twice, still with no answer.  He knew Madison was home, the evidence sitting in her driveway and what seemed like every light in the house on.  She didn’t strike him as the kind of girl to waste energy or to go walking around on her own in a place where she was a complete stranger, not knowing anything about her surroundings.  Although, he couldn’t really say, since he knew absolutely nothing about her.  Maybe Madison made very bad decisions, maybe she didn’t even think about her own safety.  No matter how many ways he tried to see her that way, she just didn’t strike him as that type of person, so he waited just a moment longer before he rang the bell one more time.  Rowan’s time with Cade had taken a lot longer than he had hoped, so he was more than anxious to get back to Madison to help her with her faucet.  After all, he was a man of his word.  He’d promised to come back today, or as it was, tonight as he noticed the sun was now beginning its descent for the day and he wouldn’t let her down. 

Cade had been pretty pissed he’d shown up an hour late for their appointment, but as soon as Rowan told him why, his anger quickly faded.  Cade got a look in his eye indicating the wheels in that brain of his were working overtime. 

“So, is this new neighbor cute?” Cade asked once Rowan finished telling him about Madison and her faucet dilemma. 

“I wouldn’t call her cute, more like, beautiful.  Down to earth beauty is what she possesses.  She’s no Erin by any means, but yeah, she’s beautiful in her own kind of way.” 

“I’m not interested in comparing her to Erin. As far as I’m concerned, that woman is not beautiful at all.  Her heart makes her physically ugly as well.  And honestly, you shouldn’t be comparing any other women to Erin, either.  Rowan, you have to let go of that.  Not every woman is like her.” 

“Yes, but every single one of them has the potential to break my heart like she did and I refuse to put myself in that situation again.” 

“Right, even though this woman has already affected you?” 

“Madison,” Rowan said without a thought. 

“What?”  

“Her name is Madison, not this woman.  And she hasn’t affected me in any way.” 

“Wow, I can so see that she hasn’t affected you.  At all.”  The sarcasm rolled from Cade’s tongue. 

Rowan shook his head, “I can’t, Cade. I can’t give another woman that much control over me.  I can’t open myself up for another heart break; I wouldn’t be able to handle it when she walked away.” 

“Rowan, you can’t just automatically expect that.  You never know, she may just be the woman for you. Tell me about her.” 

“I don’t really know much, other than she’s absolutely beautiful, has a sweet disposition about her and as soon as I got close to her, everything stopped.  Nothing else seemed to matter.”  He paused remembering the way she reacted to him, “Then I noticed her breathing became shallow and when I grabbed her hand, I felt a slight tremble shoot up her arm.  No one has ever had that kind of reaction to me before, Cade.  The problem with that, however, is that it’s completely physical.  Which normally I wouldn’t mind, but there is something about Madison that tells me the physical wouldn’t be enough for her. Even her name makes me feel things I never even felt before, with Erin, or anyone else.” 

Cade stood looking like a damn idiot with a smirk on his face.  Rowan knew that look all too well.  He’d given Cade the same look when he realized he had it bad for his sister. 

“Let’s just get this honeymoon planning over with.  I promised Madison I’d be back to help her with her faucet.”  He loved saying her name.  It sounded perfect and felt so right on his tongue. 

“You’re going back over there?  Tonight?” 

“Of course, I told her I’d try to fix her faucet so she didn’t have to call a plumber.  Plus, she’s got a lot of unpacking and she doesn’t really have the time to deal with plumbers and faucets.” 

“Of course not.  Yeah, let’s get this honeymoon stuff over with so you can go fix your neighbor’s faucet,” sarcasm lacing his voice. 

While Rowan was glad to see that Cade was so meticulous about planning the honeymoon, time couldn’t have crept along slower if it had completely stopped.  Checking his watch every five minutes hadn’t sped it up either.  Cade wanted everything to be perfect for Tessa, whereas Rowan knew she wouldn’t care where they went just as long as she was with him.  Although Rowan had been pissed about how long it had taken Cade, he knew he couldn’t have picked a better husband for his sister and he was happy for the both of them. 

Now, standing outside Madison’s door, he was torn between guarding his heart or letting the past be the past.  When he’d sat and talked to Cade about her, something inside him clicked.  That something had been the realization that he couldn’t go on through life the way he had been since his break up.  Burying all concerns that carried over from the one serious relationship would be hard to do, but would Madison be worth it?  Hell, he didn’t have plans of jumping in heart first, he just wanted to get to know Madison and see where things might lead.  He didn’t even know if they were compatible.  Rowan questioned whether he was putting too much thought into the whole situation.  He should just let nature take its course and go with it.  At this point, the only thing drawing him to Madison was her natural beauty.  He knew nothing about her personality, what she enjoyed doing, or anything of substance.  She may be some kind of psychopath who tended to be clingy and needy, two things he didn’t handle well at all.  He needed a change; something different than the same old boring routine he’d been living for the last six months.  He decided Madison would be just the change he needed.  If nothing else, he could possibly gain a friend from it.  He gave the doorbell one more ring.  If she didn’t answer, he’d come back tomorrow. 

“Hold one second,” he heard her sweet voice just behind the solid wood door separating them. 

“It’s me, Rowan.”  

“I know, just give me a second.” 

Madison was appalled at how she looked.  There was no way she could let Rowan see her in such a disarray; he’d hit the ground running for sure.  She rushed to the bathroom, threw water on her face, tucked her t-shirt into her khaki shorts, adjusted her ponytail so her hair looked somewhat presentable and huffed at her appearance.  She’d never been a beauty queen; she’d been fine with that, at least until she laid eyes on Rowan.  Now, she wished she were more beautiful.  What she wouldn’t give to look like the kind of woman Rowan would follow around like a lost puppy. 

Standing there looking at herself wishing she were someone else, took her back to many talks she’d had with her parents when she was younger.  They’d always been there when she’d been put down for not being the prettiest girl or feeling disappointment when a boy she liked didn’t give her a second glance.  Her dad had told her over and over growing up, that a man worth his weight in gold would see her beauty from the inside out.  She could still hear the words of wisdom he’d always repeat to her. 

Pumpkin, beauty on the inside is more important than physical beauty any day of the week.  Physical beauty fades, but beauty found in the soul is everlasting.  A man worth giving your heart to, is a man who desires the heart of a woman above all else.  That kind of love is eternal, growing stronger with the passing of time. 

As an only child, she grew up with her father’s unfailing love and undivided attention.  She was a daddy’s girl and she enjoyed every minute of it.  There wasn’t a wasted weekend or day off when it came to her.  She remembered so many times when he would put off house chores to take her fishing, camping or would just sit on the couch with her watching some chick flick.  Any extracurricular activities she’d had, he was there.  He never missed a thing when it came to her.  When he passed away midway through her freshman year in college, it was the worst time of her life.  Her studies suffered, any friends she’d made at the beginning of the school year quickly faded, and the passion for life she’d enjoyed died the moment she received the phone call from her mother breaking the news he’d passed away from a heart attack.  Had it not been for the strength her mother possessed and her constant reminders of the dreams her father had for her, Madison would have quit school; quit life.  The man who held their family together with a love that was beyond measure had left a gaping hole in her heart.  It was a hole no other man would be able to fill.  Madison knew the moment she found out he was gone, she’d never settle for anything less than the best for her; for her daddy’s little girl.  He’d spent her whole life making sure that she understood her importance and worth and she had no intention of letting him or herself down. 

Now, however, standing in the hallway bathroom she worried about what some man, who meant nothing to her, thought.  She mentally slapped and reprimanded herself for being so shallow.  The disappointment she knew her father would have was enough to bring her back to her senses.  She couldn’t believe he actually come back, though.  When he left, she was sure Rowan wouldn’t and that she would be calling a plumber to her home at some point tomorrow.  Yet, there he stood, just on the other side of her front door waiting for her let him in. 

Suddenly, her small two bedroom home, felt much smaller and suffocating as she made her way up the hall to the front room.  She had to keep reminding herself to breathe and that he was just a man; an amazingly overwhelming man who made her core burn and her heart stutter.  

A hot doctor man that just so happens to look yummy enough to eat. 

Just as Madison reached for the doorknob the bell rang again, startling her enough to cause her to skip a step, almost stumbling.  Damn, the man was impatient.  Weren’t doctors supposed to be less uptight?  She’d already told him to give her a second.  Granted, she had left him on the porch to wait for her, so she figured this was an attribute that could she could overlook.  She swung the door open and before she could get a word out an aroma whiffed to her nose, sending the signal to her stomach.  She didn’t know what it was, but her stomach didn’t care one way or the other.  He held food in his hands, a quick reminder that she hadn’t eaten all day.  Her stomach made a rumbling sound loud enough to wake the dead.