Sacred Surrender (5 page)

“I brought take out,” Rowan said as he lifted the brown paper bag, a smile on his face. 

“Oh, you didn’t need -”

“I know I didn’t need. Something you will learn quickly about me is that I don’t do things out of obligation, I do them because I want to.”

“Well, in that case, thank you.  I’m not sure if I have any plates or silverware unpacked yet.  Let me go check.”

“No need.  I grabbed some paper plates and plastic forks from my place on the way over here.  I’m assuming that since I asked you not to touch anything, you can’t use your faucet yet, so I didn’t want you to dirty any dishes that you might not be able to wash tonight.  I hope you like Chinese.”  

Rowan said it with a hopeful tone He wanted to find a woman who enjoyed at least some of the things he did.  Chinese food being one of those things, along with surfing, camping, and definitely spending time on the beach. Erin didn’t enjoy any of the things Rowan did and he was fine with that.  He had buddies he hung out with and enjoyed those things with, but when she wouldn’t even try Chinese food it put a strain on their relationship.  Of course, it didn’t break up the relationship, she did that all on her own, but she didn’t like it and so they would never eat it.  If he ever wanted it, he had to get it on his lunch break at work and that didn’t happen often since he rarely took a break. 

“Are you kidding? I love Chinese.  Especially spring egg rolls.  Yum.  Please, tell me you brought egg rolls.  In about ten minutes, my stomach is going to love you.” 

Rowan stood amazed at Madison.  She’d just revealed all he needed to know about her, for the moment.  The eggs rolls were always his favorite also and he always made sure to get an extra order.  Thankfully, he brought two extra orders and was he ever glad.  He was happy that Madison liked what he brought to eat, but honestly, there was no way, no matter how taken aback by her he found himself, would he be sharing his egg rolls with her.  He wasn’t even sure that if he ever got married he would share with his significant other.  He was damn serious about his food. 

Rowan’s heart did that smiley thing again and he couldn’t ignore the fact that Madison caused it.  In just the short time they had spent together earlier and the time she consumed his mind while away from her, he’d smiled more and felt more at ease than he had since the morning of his wedding when Cade and Tessa broke the news of Erin’s actions. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t normally get so excited over food, but I got so busy unpacking that I didn’t stop to eat.” 

“No need to apologize.”  Rowan looked around the living room and took inventory.  Every box he’d seen earlier still sat in its place unmoved; untouched.  He hoped the boxes that were unpacked where the ones littering the kitchen.  He didn’t mind helping her, but he did feel a little enclosed with them all surrounding him. 

“What did you unpack?”  he asked with a smirk on his face. 

As soon as her pale creamy skin turned the rosy red he was quickly coming to adore, he realized it was the one room in the house she probably didn’t want him to see.  And the one room in the house he’d like to be in right now with her. 

“I…” Madison turned away, wanting desperately to avoid any eye contact, “I haven’t slept in my own bed in well over a week, so I spent all day getting my bedroom in order.” 

“Ah, I see.  Moving can be difficult and honestly it’s probably the first room I would have unpacked,” as much as he enjoyed the coloring of her skin, he did feel some compassion for her that she’d probably not had a good night sleep in a while,  “Well, how about we just move some boxes and we can eat on the floor?  Do you have an extra blanket we could use?  If not, I can run home and get one.”

“I’ll grab one,” she said as she reached into one of the smaller boxes sitting close by and pulled out a green and white oversized blanket, laying it on the floor.  

They sat, eating in silence for most of the meal. Madison smiled as she watched Rowan devour the egg rolls and laughed when he’d explained his obsession with them.  She would never get over how some men reacted when it came to food.  Her mother had always told her the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach, though her father was always quick to argue the point.  She had been privileged to see firsthand, however, the many times he would get a spark in his eyes when her mother would make his favorite dishes.  He’d kiss her on the neck or hug her from behind while the aroma of his favorite foods filled the air.  Madison smiled at the memories of her parents.  They never held back their affections for one another, something she appreciated now as an adult. She hoped that one day she would be able to find someone that she could enjoy the same way.  She quickly brought herself back to the here and now, focusing on finishing her meal. 

Before Madison could finish her own meal, Rowan downed his last bite then excused himself to the kitchen to continue his work on the faucet.  He worked diligently for well over an hour before Madison decided to make her way to the small room.  She stood at the entryway, watching him kneel with his head tucked into the cabinet.  His muscles bunching underneath the confines of his shirt with every movement he made, while his jeans clutched onto his ass the way she wished her hands would.  Suddenly, she realized she needed to lean against the door frame.  He made her weak in the knees and he didn’t have a clue the reaction she was having to him. 

“How’s the faucet coming along?”  she asked in almost a whisper.  She didn’t want to startle him. 

Madison hoped it would take longer, because, honestly, she enjoyed having him in her home no matter how disarrayed everything was.  She also realized he was probably just being neighborly, probably more than ready to get the hell out of there. 

“I’m just finishing up.  You might want to stand back before I turn this on,” he told her as he pulled himself from the cabinet and stood. 

Rowan truly laughed for the first time in what seemed like a lifetime, when he thought of the earlier incident resulting in him being covered in water.  When Madison stepped behind a tower of boxes to shield herself, he grabbed his side and doubled over with laughter.  He wiped the wetness from his eyes before leaning around the tower to find her staring straight into the boxes; a look of hope on her face that they would offer protection from any unnecessary shower. 

“I don’t think hiding behind here is necessary,” he said desperately trying to keep the laughter from his voice. 

As childish as Madison felt, seeing the laughter in Rowan’s eyes and hearing it in his voice, made her embarrassment worth it.  She’d never heard anything as mesmerizing as his laughter.  It came from deep within his belly, lighting up his entire face.  His laughter sucked her in and held her tight. She wanted to see and hear it more. 

“You’re beautiful, especially when your skin turns red like this,” Rowan gently reached up and brushed his knuckles against her right cheek. 

Bowing her head slightly, Madison didn’t know how to respond to that.  Other than her father, no man had every used that descriptive for her; cute, great personality, funny, but never beautiful.  Madison felt heat flare where Rowan touched her; then that same heat descended to places she didn’t know could actually burn.  He leaned into her lifting her chin with his finger and terror encompassed her just as quickly as her embarrassment had.  She had practically no experience kissing and she certainly didn’t want him to know that.  If she thought she was embarrassed now, having this man find out that she didn’t know how to use the lips God gave her would send her spiraling.  Not only that, but they’d just met and she didn’t even know anything about him.  She pulled away slightly. 

“I can’t kiss you, Rowan,” heat flooding her entire body by his closeness. 

“Why not?”  He wanted to kiss her; he’d not wanted anything so much in his whole life. 

“I don’t know anything about you.  Hell, I don’t even know your last name,” she whispered. 

“Worth,” he exhaled as he breathed seductively against her ear.  “My name is Rowan Alexander Worth.  I’m a doctor in the emergency room at Long Beach Community Hospital.  I have a sister, Tessa, who is marrying my best friend in a few months.  I like surfing, camping and long runs on the beach. Is there more that you need to know before I kiss you?” 

“No,” she stuttered just before he placed his lips against hers. 

Chapter 4

Rowan gently pressed his mouth to Madison’s, his tongue gliding along the seam of her lips, waiting for her to open to him.  He continued until he realized that she’d not only gone as stiff as crusted old bread, but that her lips had not given into him in the least bit.  He slid his hand down her bare arm; evidence of chills sprang up on her skin as his fingertips skimmed to her fingers.  He brought his other hand to cup her cheek, his thumb gently brushing near her mouth.  She made no movement, her lips still pressed closed.  Rowan became conscious of this fact quickly and felt like an ass.  The raging erection that showed up by the closeness to her quickly diminished.  He thought there had been a connection between them, but apparently he was out of practice in reading what women wanted.  Or maybe he just didn’t understand this woman.  No one had ever responded to him the way Madison did.  He couldn’t remember a time when a woman had denied him a simple kiss.  He wasn’t being conceited, but it had never happened and now with a woman he wanted more than ever, he was being denied.  He hastily pulled away from her and turned to the sink. 

“I’m sorry, Madison, I shouldn’t have…”  

Rowan couldn’t do it; he couldn’t bring himself to say he shouldn’t have kissed her.  He wanted to kiss her and he wanted her to kiss him back, but she hadn’t.  She’d just stood there stiff like his old surfboard stuck in the wet sand.  She had no reaction to his lips being pressed to hers.  Well, she had a reaction, just not the reaction he’d been aiming for.  When he made the decision to kiss her, he envisioned her melting into him, begging him to throw her down between the boxes and ravage her body.  The reaction he received was a blow to his ego and he felt as if he’d just been punched in the gut.  What an idiot he’d been to make himself vulnerable again, to put himself out there only to be shot down. 

“Rowan?” 

Without a word, Rowan reached for the faucet, flipped up the handle and watched the water flow in a steady stream. 

“Looks like it’s fixed; no need to call a plumber after all.  I guess I will be heading home now.” 

“Thank you; I appreciate the help and the dinner.” 

Damn it, what was Madison doing?  This gorgeous man put his lips on her and she did nothing to reciprocate it.  She wanted that, didn’t she?  From the moment she laid eyes on him she’d wanted to touch him, she’d wanted him to touch her in a way a man touched a woman.  Now, because of her insecurities, she’d missed her opportunity.  What she wouldn’t give to push back the hands of time. 

“Not a problem.  I’ll see you around.”  Rowan turned from Madison and walked from the kitchen to the front door. 

Madison was on his heels just as quickly.  “Rowan, wait.  I want to explain about in there.”  She awkwardly pointed back toward the kitchen. 

He let out a chuckle, “No need to explain.  I stepped over the line and I apologize for it.  If you need anything else fixed just let me know, you know where to find me,” he said with a wink and was out the door. 

Madison had no intention of saying that at all.  Hell, she didn’t know how she was going to explain to him that she had no experience physically or otherwise with a man, but she hadn’t wanted their evening to end the way it did, either.  Obviously, he knew exactly what to do with a woman.  Just by the simple way he whispered in her ear, she knew damn well he would be too much for her.  They’d had a pleasant little meal and although they didn’t talk much, just sitting there with him in her home seemed natural.  Damn it, why did he have to go and ruin it by kissing her?  On second thought, why did she have to ruin it by not kissing him back?  She’d wanted to; she’d wanted to wrap her arms around his neck and lose herself to him.  His lips soft against hers felt right, but she’d been too worried about scaring him off to let her instincts take over. The one thing she feared would happen, did.  He walked out her door with only neighborly pleasantries.