Sacrifice Me: The Complete Season One (36 page)

“Franki—”

“Let me get this out,” I said. “I
need for you to understand how important this is for me.”

I took a deep breath and chose my words carefully.

“The problem with that plan was that while I
was so busy protecting myself from pain, I was also denying myself
the one thing I wanted most in the world,” I said. “Falling
in love is not something I could ever take lightly. It’s risky
and dangerous and terrifying.

“Up until I met you, I was successful at
protecting my heart. But there’s been nothing I could do to
push you away. Every time I decided never to see you again or let you
into my heart, all you had to do was look at me with those
silver-black eyes of yours and I was falling all over again.”

“I know exactly how you feel,” he
said.

“Do you?” I asked in a whisper. I was
too afraid to look into his eyes. Scared of what I might see there.

Instead, I leaned my cheek against his chest,
concentrating on the beat of his heart. He was here. He was really
alive. Every fear I’d held inside, from the moment that club
exploded before my eyes, was tied to my separation from Rend.

In the span of less than a week, I had fallen for
him so hard, I couldn’t imagine my life without him.

And in some ways, that was the scariest part of
this whole thing.

“When Selena set off that bomb and the club
exploded, I thought Venom had been destroyed,” I said. “I
thought I had lost you forever.”

“I’m sorry, I should have told you—”

I looked up and placed my fingertips across his
lips. “Rend, I never want to feel that way again,” I
said. “I know we haven’t known each other for long, and
every step of the way I’ve questioned what I was feeling, not
believing I could feel something so intense for someone I barely
knew.”

I took a shallow breath, unable to control the
racing of my pulse and the words coming directly from my heart. As
afraid as I was, I knew I couldn't hold this inside any longer.

“Ever since the other night when you bit me,
I’ve been completely clueless about your feelings for me,”
I said. “I’ve agonized over whether you ever were
attracted to me, or if it was just the power of the blood running
through my veins that drew you to me.”

He opened his mouth again, but I shook my head. I
wanted to say what I had to say before I realized how vulnerable I
was allowing myself to be in front of him. I wanted to lay it out
there before fear took hold of my voice and silenced me.

“Just when I thought I felt something
between us again last night at the club when we kissed, Azure turned
it all upside down by telling me that you would never risk your
heart. She told me that if you pretended to care for me, it was only
so that you could manipulate and control me.” I was talking so
fast, I could barely catch my breath, but I had to know the truth. I
couldn’t wait another moment, and I couldn’t keep
questioning this. “She said I was nothing more than currency to
you. An asset you could trade to keep yourself and everyone else
safe.”

His eyes flashed with specks of silver and his
arms tensed around me.

“After everything that’s happened
since the explosion, I keep coming back to that,” I said. “I
have to know if you’re doing all this to save me just because
you think you can use me, or if you care about me in a deeper way.
Because if you’re playing games to control my heart, you might
as well walk away right now and never look back. I’ll never be
yours because of some game of make believe. The only way I’ll
be yours is if you’re mine, too. You need to understand that
about me right now. Right now, you need to tell me the truth, no
matter how much it may hurt me to hear it.”

Rend placed his hands on my face and forced my
eyes to his. A smile curled the corners of his luscious lips and his
eyes darkened.

“You are the most insufferable woman I’ve
ever met in my life,” he said. “You never let me get a
word in edgewise, and you never let me get away with anything.”

My heart beat fast, pounding against my ribs. I
had never put myself out there with anyone the way I’d just
opened up to him, and if he looked me in the eyes and said he didn’t
feel the same way, I wasn’t sure how I’d survive it.

“Azure's right. I’m no good at love,
Franki. I care about a great deal of people and would do
anything—even risk my own life—to save the lives of those
who are closest to me. But I have never in all my hundreds of years
been the kind of man who could fall in love,” he said.

I couldn’t control the tears that spilled
down my cheeks. I didn’t want to believe what he was saying.

“But maybe in all that time, it wasn’t
me at all,” he said. “Maybe it was never about my
inability to love a woman. Maybe it was about never having found the
one woman I was always destined to love.”

He lifted my face to his and kissed me with a fury
that took my breath away. His mouth closed over mine, his tongue
brushing the soft skin on my lips, coaxing them open.

I wanted him with a fierceness that set my body
aflame, but I was terrified of what might happen if he lost control
again. Would he be able to stop this time?

“I want you so badly, but I’d be lying
if I said I wasn’t scared,” I said, breathless. “How
do we do this without ending up right back where we were the other
night in my apartment?”

He licked his lips and breathed in through his
nose. “Believe me when I say I’ve thought of this a
million times since that night,” he said. “I haven’t
taken the blood of a witch without her consent in decades. I have
practiced the art of control for so long, I never imagined I could
still lose myself to the passion of the moment. But if there’s
one thing I’ve learned since we met, it’s that you can
surprise me in ways no one ever has.”

I smiled, but my insides quivered. I wasn’t
sure I could take knowing he felt the same way, but that we could
never be together the way I longed to be with him.

“I’ll take you however I can get you,”
I said. “Even if that means we can’t ever—”

“Oh, hell no,” Rend said. “Being
with you and not being able to make love to you is not an option for
me. We’re going to figure this out.”

“How?”

“One step at a time,” he said. “We’ll
take it slowly and if I feel close to losing control, we’ll
slow down.”

“Can you do that?” I asked. “I
mean, the very nature of sex is about losing control. It’s
about surrender.”

“I don’t know if I can or not,”
he said. “But I’m willing to try if you are.”

“Oh, I’m willing,” I said,
biting back a smile.

Rend lifted me into his arms and carried me over
the threshold of the little red house. He kissed me as he made his
way through the house, searching for a bedroom. We found one at the
end of the hall, equipped with nothing more than a small bed covered
with a tattered blanket.

“I'm sorry this isn't more glamorous,”
he said.

“Trust me. I don't care about anything
fancy,” I said. “I just want you.”

He set my feet on the floor. The fiery passion on
the porch had been replaced by the heated realization that we were
really doing this. Time slowed between us and every inch of my body
trembled in anticipation.

I reached down and grabbed the bottom of my tank
top, crossing my arms as I pulled it up and over my head. I tossed it
onto the floor, my heart beating wildly as his eyes devoured me.

“You are so beautiful,” he said. His
voice was rough and filled with longing. “I have wanted to
touch you since the moment I saw you beating up those vampires behind
my club.”

My skin quivered as his fingers brushed the skin
beneath my breasts, following the curves of my body. The thought of
his hands exploring every inch of my bare skin sent waves of longing
through me.

This wasn't the first time I'd been with a man,
but it was the first time I'd ever been with someone I wanted on this
level. Someone I could really be with.

Impatient, I reached for the edge of his black
t-shirt, running my fingertips along the waistband of his jeans. His
stomach trembled at my touch and I looked up to meet his eyes. They
were the darkest black now, filled with passion and hunger.

The only light around us was the amber glow of the
setting sun pouring through a small window in the room. He pulled his
shirt from his body and I bit my lip as I ran my palm across his taut
muscles. His body was lean and solid, every muscle clearly defined
and hard as a rock.

And even then, I knew his muscles were only the
beginning of his strength.

He could rip me apart at any moment if he wanted,
and here I was surrendering my body to him. It was either the
dumbest, or the bravest, thing I'd ever done in my life.

He moved his hands along the curve of my hips, his
hands gathering the cotton into tight fists as he leaned down to kiss
me again. His bare chest pressed against me, our bodies skin-to-skin
for the first time. He slid his hands around to my back and pulled me
harder against him.

I gasped for air as his hands explored me and his
mouth claimed mine. I circled my arms around his neck, pressing my
hips against him, yearning for more.

He grew hard against me, and I moaned. Just the
thought of seeing him naked and touching him—pleasing him—was
enough to send my mind spiraling out of control.

His body tensed and he pulled away, breathing
hard. He turned away and in the dim light, I could see the flash of
white fangs.

I couldn't speak. I knew he was struggling to
control himself and that there was nothing I could do to help him,
but god, I wanted him so badly. I wasn’t sure I would survive
the push and pull of it. I wasn't sure I could take it slowly.

But I also didn't want him to lose control and
really hurt me.

I couldn’t trust him completely, but I also
couldn’t resist him.

“Are you okay?” I asked, finally
finding my voice. “Is there anything I can do?”

He shook his head and leaned one hand against the
frame of the door.

I waited, my stomach in knots and my body flushed
with warmth. Need circled in my veins, but I couldn't rush him.

After a few agonizing minutes, he finally turned,
his eyes black as night, but his fangs retracted. He walked over
without a word and pushed me down on the bed.

With his eyes locked on mine, he hooked his
fingers inside the waistband of my pants and pulled them down. I
writhed against the bed. Each piece of clothing we removed brought us
one step closer to abandonment.

He ran his fingers gently up the inside of my
legs. My thighs trembled as his fingertips brushed past, almost
reaching the hot core between my legs, but torturously bypassing it
to explore farther up my body.

Rend crawled onto the bed beside me, taking his
time as his fingers moved up my stomach to my breasts. He circled
them with the lightest of touches, his breath deep and controlled,
but his eyes hungry.

My chest rose against his hand with each breath,
fear mingling with pleasure and need. I wasn’t sure I could
take much more teasing, but I didn't want to push him past his
breaking point either.

I decided maybe it was time to test the boundaries
a little, though.

I rose, pushing him back against the pillows with
both hands on his bare chest.

He kissed me again, the heat growing between us.
He moaned and moved around me, as if we were in a constant battle for
who was in control.

I had a feeling neither of us were in control,
anymore.

He stood and met my eyes, as if making sure this
is really what I wanted. I sat up on my knees and crawled across the
bed toward him, placing my hands on the waist of his jeans. His heart
was racing so hard, I could see it pulsing against his skin as if it
were trying to escape.

There was no doubt I wanted this. No doubt we both
wanted this. I had no idea how joining our bodies together would
change things between us, but I knew it was inevitable. I knew we
could no longer keep ourselves from it.

I unbuttoned the top of his jeans and slid the
metal zipper down, my hand brushing him. He closed his eyes and
breathed in through his nose.

I watched his face, every pained expression, every
flash of desire, as I pushed his jeans to the floor.

Rend grabbed my wrist as I moved to touch him, his
grip hard and unrelenting. He moved his other hand to my face,
brushing my hair off my cheek. “I don't want to hurt you,
Franki,” he said, his voice deep and low. “But one step
further and I'm not sure I'll be able to stop myself.”

There were only two pieces of clothing separating
us now. Two moments of hesitation.

I had to make a decision. Should I trust this man
I'd only known for a few days? Or was I playing with fire here? How
many times did I need to learn that the danger in this new world was
far greater than I could ever imagine?

My hands trembled as I slipped my wrist from his
grasp. I moved my palms across his taut stomach, his muscles jumping
with each touch. I slid them down the length of his stomach, never
taking my eyes off his as I removed one of the final barriers between
us.

No more hesitation or indecision.

Now, there was only passion.

Rend moaned and joined me on the bed. He stripped
me down until we were both naked and vulnerable, finally giving in to
something we'd both wanted from the moment we laid eyes on each
other. He pulled me into his arms, passionately at first, then
softening.

His eyes met mine in one final moment of question.

I swallowed and nodded. I was ready to surrender
to him, come what may.

He positioned himself above me, his dark eyes
closing as he took several deep breaths. The struggle for control was
evident in his tense jaw and furrowed brow. I ran my hands in soft
circles against his back, my body lying still beneath him. It was
torture not to move toward him, press against him. I pushed my hips
down into the bed, my legs slightly parted, waiting, but my thighs
trembling.