Safer Outside (A Mature YA Romance) (The Outside Series) (10 page)

“Can Bethy come too?”
The crack in his voice almost ate through my resolve.

“I have to work, kiddo. But you’re gonna have so much fun.”

“And your mama and daddy will have all weekend to kiss and make up.” She laughed like it was a cute thing to say. If she only knew...

“Marilyn, are you gonna keep Macy today and pick up Billy from school?” I was telling her more than asking but she played along.

“Sure, honey. Don’t you worry about us.” She cocked her head as she took a good look at me. “You might want to put a little concealer on that eye. You really need to get more sleep and take care of yourself.”

FUCK.
YOU.

“Thanks, Marilyn. I’ll keep that in mind.” I kissed Billy’s head and went back to my room. From the sounds coming from th
e other bedroom, the ‘kissing and making up’ had commenced. Barf!

I popped in my ear buds and got dressed as fast as I could. It was almost seven and I’d already missed the early
bus but I didn’t care about being late. I just needed to get the hell out of that house.

I walked out the door with a promise from Marilyn that she’d keep the kids all weekend. I ran all the way to the bus stop and managed to step on as the driver was getting ready to pull away. I didn’t see
Budd very often but he was a cool old guy that liked to chat.

“Hey
, girl. Running late today?” He laughed as I dug through my purse for my pass and tried to catch my breath.

“Yeah, thanks for wa
iting.” It was standing room only so I leaned against the front pole and braced myself for the ride.

“When I see a pretty girl running after me, I stop every time.” He was such a flirt.

“And I thought I was special,” I said, smiling up at him through his rearview mirror.

“You are, darling.” He winked.

I didn’t feel very special. I felt like the threads of life were unraveling around me. No matter which strand I grabbed, more pulled loose. Very soon, I’d be left with nothing.

~**~

I was thirty minutes late for first period so I hung out in the locker room until Kim was done. When she saw me, tears pooled in her eyes, making me well up too.
“What did he do?” she hissed.

“It was an accident,” I said. “Sorta.”

“Sorta my ass. Did he punch you or something?” She was examining my face from all angles.

“Or something.
I tried to grab my phone and he pulled it away, accidentally smacking me with it.” I barked out a laugh. “I guess it would be funny if it didn’t happen to me.”

“There is nothing funny about this.” She went to her locker and started changing out of her gym clothes. “You
can’t stay there anymore. I’ll talk to my mom about getting guardianship. She said she’d do it.”

“I can’t. Jesse is already freaking out about Logan. He’ll kill someone.” I gave her a look.
“Seriously. I can’t.”

The pain I felt was reflected in her eyes. She knew it was an impossible situation. I hated that yet another person was pulled into my shitty life drama. I was a virus that infected everyone I got close to.

“You talked to Logan last night, right?” I asked.

“You mean your psycho boyfrie
nd who was about to call the Feds to track you down when I refused to give him your address?” She flipped her hair upside down and started brushing through it. “Yeah, I talked to him.”

I buried my face in my hands and groaned. “Tell me.”

“Are you sure you guys didn’t elope? He acts like it’s his job to protect you. He’s gonna be out for blood when he sees your face.” She offered me her compact of mineral powder. “You better have a good story for him or he’ll never let you go home again.”

I tried to come up with a reasonable lie but there wasn’t one. In the end, I decided on the truth. If he was smart, he’d run as far away from me as he could. It would kill me to say goodbye, but it was t
he best solution for all of us.

Kim exited the locker room ahead of me and I saw her nodding to someone on her left. I kept my chin down and let my hair cover most of my face as I walked out. Logan immediately pulled me into his chest and held me. “Thank god you’re okay.” He
pushed me back a few inches to get me to look up. I kept my eyes on my feet, trying to control my breathing. I would have done anything to not face him but he didn’t let up. “Hey, look at me.”

Shaking my head so my hair almost completely covered the right side of my face, I finally looked into his hunter green eyes. I saw the affection he f
elt as he smiled down at me. Then I saw the rage that took over when his finger tucked a lock of hair behind my ear and he got a look at me. He went from sweet to furious in seconds. “Who did that?”

I shook my head, trying to channel some of Kim’s confidence so I could sell my story. “It was an accident. I’m fine.” I took a deep breath and smiled up at him.

“Tell me what happened.” He pulled my sleeves up and carefully checked my arms. I didn’t expect that and didn’t think to stop him. I rarely have marks so when he gasped and fingered my bicep, I had to look at what he was touching. “Baby, what happened? Please tell me.”

His voice was choked as he begged for answers. I couldn’t do this to him anymore. I stared at the finger marks from when Jesse pulled me into the room and took a deep breath.

“It really was an accident. When my stepdad sent you that text, I tried to grab my phone but he pulled away and it hit me in the face.” I smiled up at him. “I’m fine. And I’m sorry about what he said. He’s the asshole.”

“And your arm?”

Shit. That
was harder to explain.  I had to rely on vaguery and hope he didn’t question me too much.

“Well, he gets kinda crazy when he doesn’t g
et his way so he grabbed my arm. I didn’t even realize it was bruising.”

I turned to walk toward
Humanities.

“So that’s it?
You show up with bruises and a black eye and it’s no big deal.”

As hot as dominant
alpha males were in books and movies, the reality was getting annoying. I pulled away from him and stopped.

“Look, Logan. It’s really sweet that you’re all protective and stuff but
I’m not a fragile doll that needs to be handled with kid gloves.” I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. “I like you...a lot. But, I take care of myself and I need the space to deal with my shit at home.”

“But—” He tried to interrupt but I didn’t let him.

“But nothing. I’ll understand if this isn’t gonna work for you. I get that you want a girl that’s always waiting for you to save her but that’s not me. I know what my lot in life is and I’m dealing with it. Alone.”

“Stop.”
He growled and slid his large palm across the back of my neck, tilting my head back. “You’re not alone so stop saying that. I love that you’re independent and tough but I care about you.” He rested his forehead against mine and took a deep breath. “I’ll try to give you space but I’m not gonna let you get hurt again. You have to promise to tell me when you need help or else I’m gonna think you always need it.”

I didn’t even know what that meant. “
Huh?” I laughed at his logic, shoving him back so we could keep walking.

“If you promise to let me be there when you really need me, I’ll back off and wait for you to ask. But, if I think you’re in danger and not telling me, I’m gonna lose my shit, Liz.” His grip around my shoulder tightened to the point of almost hurting. When I looked up at him he loosened up. “Will you promise me that?”

I hesitated a second but the pain in his eyes was too much. I nodded. I couldn’t actually promise that in words but I nodded my agreement to try. He just didn’t know that’s what it meant.

Chapter Ten

Private Property

Two weeks later, Logan and I were parked in front of Washington Elementary. He insisted on driving me the few blocks to their school on the days I had to pick up Riya and Simon. “My dad would like you to come over for dinner tonight.”

“Tonight?”
I didn’t have any reason not to but I was worried about meeting Logan’s dad. He was a business man with connections in some of the most prominent circles of Silicon Valley.  I’d heard he was an early investor in Facebook and they were loaded. Logan never talked about money and downplayed his dad’s wealth so I wasn’t sure. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Cool. Want me to pick you up from work or from Kim’s?” Logan was close to his dad and I knew it was important for me to meet him. I just didn’t know what would happen if his dad didn’t like
me. If he was that smart, he would know immediately that I wasn’t good enough for his son.

“Um, Kim’s
, I guess. I should probably change.” I was wearing jeans and a sweater. The weather was starting to cool off. Sixty-five wasn’t cold by most standards but it was definitely layering weather for me.

“You look amazing. You don’t have to do anything to get ready.” He wrapped my left hand around his right and placed a soft kiss on it. “You’re always perfect.”

“Thanks.” I’d learned to not argue with his compliments. It just made him give me more and I hated people that fished for praise. Just accepting it and moving on was the best way to get the attention off me. “So, will it just be the three of us?”

“Probably.”
He held my hand against his chest as he leaned over the center console to talk to me. “Amanda is supposed to be there later this week but I don’t think she’ll be over tonight. I haven’t talked to her much this week.”

“So, what’s the deal with her anyway? Why doesn’t she just stay home with a housekeeper like Kim does?” I’d been dying to get more info about her for weeks but I didn’t want him to think I was insecure so I was waiting for the right time. Since he brought her up, it was the perfect opportunity.

“Her dad and my dad were best friends growing up. Still are, actually.  So when she was little, it was natural for her to stay with us.” He let my hand go and shifted back in his seat, facing forward with both hands on the steering wheel. “After my mom left, Dad couldn’t handle both of us so she did stay with sitters a lot. There was an incident when Mandy was fourteen and after that, she’s been back with us.”

“What happened?”

“They didn’t tell me the whole story and I’ve never asked her about it because she was really messed up for a while, but I know it was bad.”

Damn
. I really didn’t want to feel sorry for her but how could I not? I spent so much time feeling sorry for myself for my own fucked up life that I forgot other people had it much worse. I only lived with the fear of something happening to me. I hadn’t actually lived through anything like that.

“Wow. I’m sorry.” I placed a hand on his shoulder so Logan would look at me. “I guess I should try to be nice to her.”

“She hasn’t made it easy for you so don’t worry about it.” He turned toward me and grabbed both of my hands. “When she’s not being a bitch, she’s actually pretty cool. Maybe we should all try to do something sometime. I could set her up with someone...maybe Adam?”

He was still very aware of the times when Adam and I walked out of Film together or met up in the hall to talk. I think he wanted Adam to find someone else so he wouldn’t be so chatty with me.

“No, I don’t think they’re right for each other. But, I wouldn’t mind trying to get to know her.” Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, right? I hoped she wasn’t an enemy but I wanted to know more about her either way.

“Should I invite her over tonight?”

“No,” I said quickly. “I mean, tonight will be stressful enough with just your dad. We’ll do something with her another time.” I smiled to let him know I was sincere.

“There’
s nothing for you to be stressed about. My dad is gonna love you. He knows everything about you and is dying to meet you.”

“Does he know about my wall?” I asked playfully.

“Actually, he does. He saw it and I had to fess up.” Logan laughed. “He was actually pretty impressed. That’s why he wants to meet you.”

“Was he mad?” I didn’t want him to think I was a bad influence on his son.

“No, it’s fine. It’s not like I tagged a liquor store or something.” Logan squeezed my hand. “He knows I wouldn’t do something like that for just anyone.”

“If you say so.”

Logan fidgeted with the gear shifter between us. "I have to ask you something.” He looked into my eyes. “Are you a virgin?”

I felt my cheeks blush
and my eyes bug out. I tried to laugh but it was more of a cackle. “What gave me away?”

“Nothing.
You just seem shy about your body.”

“Yeah, I am.
..about both.” I couldn’t look at him. I watched the leaves fall onto the windshield and wondered what he was thinking. “Is that okay?”

“Of course, it’s okay.” He squeezed my hand. It was all the reassurance I needed.
Until his next question.

“Do you want to keep
it that way?"

I didn’t know how to respond. In my head, I wanted to wait, but my body definitely wanted relief. Logan caught my hesitation.

“Not that I'm pressuring you. I just don’t want to do anything you’re not ready for. You know, in the heat of the moment.”

“I'm not sure.” I answered as honestly as I could.

“That's totally fine. I'm ready whenever you are.” He grabbed my face and kissed me. “You’re worth the wait.”

I glanced at my phone and realized it was almost three. “Oh, I’ve got to get the kids.” I always lost track of time when I was with Logan. “
What time should I expect you tonight?”

“
Does six work?” He reached over and placed both palms against my cheeks. “It’s gonna be a long three hours.”

My eyes drifted shut as Logan’s mouth brushed across mine. His warm tongue quickly moved between my parted lips as he slowly explored. I sighed as I lost myself in his embrace. His hands slid to my hips. One moved back to cradle the bottom of my ass as the other crept under the hem of my sweater
. A shiver ran down my spine as his fingers slowly climbed up my bare skin to the edge of my bra. He just fingered the fabric, tickling the sensitive skin there. It felt amazing but it was definitely a time distraction that I didn’t have right then so I reluctantly pulled away.

I had to take a deep breath to calm myself.
“Six is good. I’ll see you then.”

I hopped out
the door before he could pull me back again.  As I crossed the street in front of his car, he rolled down his window. “See you then, love.”

~**~

“Dad, we’re here.” Logan called out as we walked through his front door. His house was bigger than any I’d been in before. It was up in the foothills and you couldn’t see much from the long driveway but once you cleared the trees, it was breathtaking. It was a sprawling ranch set on a cliff. The view from the driveway was amazing.

Once we entered
the foyer, I got the full impact of that view. The whole back of the house had floor to ceiling windows that overlooked the city below. As if in a trance, I walked straight through the house to beyond the cliff. Watching the sunset over the city I spent most of my life was incredible. “It’s beautiful,” I whispered, stopping my hand from resting on the fingerprint-free glass in front of me.

“Not as beautiful as you.” Logan was behind me, pressed against my back. He grabbed both of my wrists then
wrapped them around my waist. There was no place I would have rather been than right there, enveloped in his arms. I could have stayed in that position forever. I probably would have if Mr. Cooper hadn’t walked in at that moment.

He cleared his throat and I pulled free from Logan. It was an instinct that probably made me look guilty of something.

Logan laughed and pulled me to his side, walking me toward his father. “Dad, this is Liz. Liz, this is my dad, Will.”

“It’s wonderful to finally meet you, Liz.” He held out a hand to me. I took it, reminding myself to have a firm grip even though my nerves had me wanting to crawl inside Logan and never come out.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Mr. Cooper.”

“Please, call me
Will. It makes me feel less ancient.”

He looked as far from ancient as one
could get. He kinda had a George Clooney look that I couldn’t help but appreciate. I might have been staring because Logan tugged my waist and stage whispered in my ear. “Just humor him. He likes to think he’s still groovy.”

“Shut up.” He playfully smacked Logan on
the shoulder I wasn’t pressed up against. “I’ve never said groovy in my life.”

“Sorry, I meant swell.” Logan took a step back,
pulling us both out of reach as Will pretended to throw a punch at his smartass son.

“Yeah, you better run.” He looked at me with a smile. “I don’t know what you see in this dude. If you’re smart, you’d run
too. Find yourself a nice young man that respects his elders.”

“I do respect the elderly, Dad. Here, let me get you your cane
before you break a hip.”

“I’m gonna cane you,”
Will mumbled as we all walked into their kitchen.

It was really cute to see how Logan interacted with his dad. I’
d never seen someone my age joke around with their parents in that way before.

The Curtners were really nice but more formal. They worried about appearances and making sure everyone thought they had a picture perfect
family. It worked and, for the most part, they were the perfect family.

In my own family, there weren’t a lot of men around. Actually, that’s not true. There were a lot of men but most didn’t stay around long enough to build a relationship with the kids. And the women in my family were either taking care of their men or worrying about money. It wasn’t playful at all.

Will was almost finished preparing dinner so Logan and I set the table and grabbed some drinks. While we waited for the bread to warm, we brought the salad and lasagna to the table. Will followed us a few minutes later with a basket of rolls and we all sat at the table. I assumed Logan would be opposite me at one end of the eight person table but he settled to my left with Will at the head of the table on my right.

“I hope you like Italian.”
Will held the salad bowl in front of me so I could serve myself.

“I love it. Thank you.” I tried to fill my plate with salad so I could take a smaller piece of pasta.
My carb count was getting out of control. Logan liked to feed me. If it wasn’t ice cream or smoothies, he was taking me to sushi or Thai. I hoped he was secretly a chubby chaser because that’s what he was gonna be dealing with if I let him have his way.

“So, Liz, tell me about
yourself.” Will sat back with a glass of red wine in his hand and waited for me to begin. You’d think I was telling him the formula for world peace with the captivated look he gave me.

“Well, I’m a sophomore and I live in San Jose.” I didn’t really know what else to tell him. “Um, I work as a tutor slash nanny afterschool and...” I trailed off when I ran out of things to say. It was depressing how few facts could sum up my life.

“San Jose? Why do you go to Anderson?”

Shit
. I’d forgotten he had connections in the city. I wasn’t even thinking that he might know people on the school board or be offended that a kid from the hood was infiltrating his neighborhood school.

“Oh, well,” I stumbled on my words, trying to think of a reasonable story. “Actually, I sorta live with my friend, Kim, and her parents, uh...”

“Don’t worry, honey. I don’t care about district borders or anything like that. I’m just curious.” He smiled and patted my arm. “You have a friend that you stay with?”

“Well, I lived here for most of my life.” I relaxed and tried to regain some confidence. The cat was out of the bag so I was just going to feed it and see what happened. “We moved before eighth grade so I went to school in San Jose for a few years. The school wasn’t that great so my mom worked it out that I could commute to Anderson.”

Logan put his hand on my thigh and rubbed it gently. Just knowing he was so close and feeling him next to me was comforting. I put my left hand over Logan’s and decided to take control of the conversation. “So, what do you do, Will?”

He’d just placed a bite of food in his mouth so he raised a hand to indicate that he needed a second. I took the opportunity to put a bite of salad in my mouth too. At least then I had an excuse not to talk for a minute.

When he was done chewing, he wiped his mouth and took a drink of wine before he started talking again.

“I have a few holding companies. We invest in startups and real estate. Most of the time it’s boring but I did have an interesting conversation with one of my managers today.” He looked to Logan. “You remember
Irina? She’s running the storage facility on Foothill?”