SafetyInNumbers-Final (5 page)

“Are you trying to drive me crazy?” Billy harsh question had Liam’s eyes darkening. Oh, right, Liam loved when he went all Billy Bear.

“You love when I drive you crazy.” Liam knew what he wanted and he knew just how to get it from Billy. “Before you pounce, could you tell me what you meant?”

Billy pounced first—rolling Liam onto his back, dragging his hands over his head, and covering him completely. Liam melted like it was the only place he wanted to be. That response was like a drug and Billy wanted to be hooked up to it by IV. “What I meant about what?”

Liam grin’s was full of satisfaction. “I love when I make you stupid too.”

“Stupid, crazy, horny, stupid...did I say stupid?” Billy asked, pressing their foreheads together. He was fucked, happily fucked. “I’m bigger than Chris.”

This close, Billy couldn’t miss the surprise in Liam’s eyes no matter how much he might want to. Every man wanted their lover to see them as larger than life, better than all the rest, and having to point out that he was the bigger man should have pissed him off. It didn’t because he understood. Just as he understood that even though Liam had asked for clarification, the answer left Billy looking even smaller in Liam’s eyes.

“I’m not competing with Chris, so stop looking at me like that.” Billy tried to roll away, annoyed that he’d fallen victim to the bedroom eyes and forgot how ironclad the brother bond was. “You asked me to clarify what I meant. Chris is a combination of both physical and mental strength, that’s why we defer to him. Can you unwrap your legs?”

“Said no man ever,” Liam quipped, tightening his legs instead. “I insulted you.”

“No, you didn’t insult me.” With any other man, Billy would have pushed himself off and not cared if he hurt the guy beneath him or not. He couldn’t do that to Liam. “You make me stupid and crazy, but you didn’t insult me. Either way, it’s late and…”

“Billy.” Liam’s voice was firm, stilling him instantly. “Chris is everything you said, but don’t you get it? You’re the one that I want. Not like Owen wants Chris...or maybe exactly like that. I want a safe place where I can rebuild my life and a man who wants to take care of me. If there’s a difference, it’s that I’m not looking for some power balance or imbalance, I want someone to see me as an equal, someone who needs me to take care of him too. Chris doesn’t see me as an equal any more than I see myself on par with him. Sadly, I think more highly of Chris than he thinks of himself. It might be wishful thinking to hope that Owen will figure that out, but it’s beyond me because I don’t love Chris like that. He’s my brother, my protector, the head of our little family, but I can’t make things right for him any more than he can make them better for me.”

If he let Liam continue, Billy knew he’d be lost. The battle he’d been fighting for months would be over and he’d give in. “Liam…”

“No, let me finish.” Liam’s voice shook and Billy was terrified by that show of emotion. “I told Chris we couldn’t go on the way we are. For Owen’s sake, because he’d rather hurt himself than ask for help. For my sake, because I can’t live this temporary life anymore. And for your sake, Billy, because I see how afraid you are of taking what we both want you to take.” Billy didn’t know how Liam saw that, but he didn’t deny it. “Don’t you think it’s time, Billy?”

“For what?” Billy didn’t want to make assumptions. He needed to hear Liam speak the words. “What do you think happens next, Liam?”

“Want me to go all poetic and talk about limitless possibilities?” Liam laughed when Billy growled at him. “Okay, okay! Well, for starters, you need to take Ty up on his job offer and I need to decide if I want to go back to law school.”

“Career, school, got it. Didn’t you forget something?” Billy shook his head in wonder. Liam was right—they’d been living temporary lives long enough. “What about us?”

Liam glanced away and fidgeted a little beneath him. “Uhm, well, I know what I want, but you keep me at arm’s length, so I don’t know if it’s what you want.”

“I want you.” And he was sorry he ever made Liam doubt that. “I just don’t want to hurt you.”

“I trust you to keep me safe.” Liam had so much faith in him and he really wanted to live up to it. He could only pray that Chris was half the man they believed him to be, just in case Billy lived up to his reputation and failed. “You won’t fail me, Billy.”

“How do you know what I’m thinking?” That intuitiveness was a little freaky.

Liam tilted his head and smiled. “I’m just as afraid of failing you. Things got all twisted up in my brain that day, you know? Working through our collective shit ain’t gonna be easy, but I’m willing to do it with you. Are you willing to do it with me?”

Billy could only marvel at the man beneath him. Liam was smart and insightful, and so strong. Was he going to be less than a man and wuss out? It would be easier and he was a legend at taking the easy road. Except that he wanted to walk that rough road with Liam and see what was waiting for them on the other side. “I’m willing to do it with you.”

“Yeah?” Liam’s eyes sparkled with emotion and he sniffled a little. “That mean you’re gonna kiss me now?”

Billy groaned and took a nip of those pouty lips. “You really do like to make me crazy, don’t you?”

Liam melted once again beneath him, giving up his whole being to Billy’s care. “Ah, Billy Bear, it’s my most favorite thing in the world.”

Chapter 5

Chris

“You are like an artist with that wiring,” Ty murmured as he watched over Chris’s shoulder and he felt a little burst of pride at the praise. After putting in a long day at Bull’s garage, he looked forward to crossing the lot and helping Ty with his latest build. Not that he didn’t like working on cars, he liked both, but the bikes were becoming a favorite. “Have you given any more thought to going back to school?”

Chris nearly grunted out his normal response. Talking to Owen last night, however brief it was, hadn’t magically opened the dam on his silence. The emotional ringer Owen put himself through had him falling asleep while Chris was still tending to his hands. It was a reprieve Chris didn’t know he needed until it happened and Owen woke up pissed believing he’d lost his chance. He was only mildly appeased when Chris spoke again, but he could see Owen’s fear that it wouldn’t last. Nothing but time would change that.

Talking for Owen’s sake had proven much easier than making normal, everyday conversation. There were several times during the day when he could have opened his mouth, answered whatever question was being asked of him, but no one expected it so he hadn’t put in the effort. It would be easier if they expected it, but how would they know unless he started first?

“Yeah, maybe.” The words were stilted at best, his voice still sounding foreign to his own ears. It wasn’t the reaction he expected to have. He spoke to Ava and Luc sometimes, but the kids weren’t going to judge him for his silence or his words.

To his credit, Ty didn’t look all that surprised, but then Ty had heard him speak to the kids. The first time he showed up unexpectedly at their house, it was to make sure the kids were being treated right. He was happy that Ty and Chase had found Ava and Luc, and everyone could see how hard they were trying to make a good life for the kids. But David had put on a good show for their friends and family, such a good show that no one believed Chris had any reason to kill the man.

Chase and Ty had welcomed him warmly and probably knew exactly what he was doing, but they never brought it up. He spent hours at the house that day, playing with the kids and joining the little family for dinner. The kids loved having him there and talked nonstop about the amazing new room Owen had built for them, about the new school they’d be going to, and about their new Uncles. He walked away sure they were being treated right and thought that would be the end of it. Then, a week later, he found himself knocking on the door again and realized it had more to do with the easy, comfortable atmosphere in the home than worry for Ava and Luc.

“Before I forget, can you watch the kids Thursday night? Chase needs a little two-wheel therapy.” It was kind of amusing the way Ty grinned every time he said Chase’s name. He wondered if he would get that same goofy look if he said Owen’s name or if Owen would get it or...it was so stupid.

“Sure.” Again he had to force himself to speak instead of just nod. It had to get easier soon, right? “Uh, they asked to see the new Disney movie. Would that be okay?”

That time, Ty did look surprised and Chris felt his cheeks burn in embarrassment. Ty leaned back against the counter, crossed his arms, and considered him for a long moment. Long enough that he wanted to squirm a little. “Want to talk about it?”

Crap. No, he didn’t. Did he? “What?”

Ty’s expression was both encouraging and scary. Chris was suddenly reminded that Ty had once been quite ruthless, and he imagined the addition of Ava and Luc to care for only made him more so. He pitied anyone foolish enough to hurt anyone in the Malone family. “About whatever’s changed that loosened your tongue.”

“Not really.” Chris wiped his hands on the rag and stood, suddenly uncomfortable being prostrated in front of the man. They were pretty evenly matched in height and he had the bulkier build, but Ty would fight dirty...fight to win, and as far as Chris knew, he never lost. And why the hell was he thinking like that? Ty had never once intimidated him in any way and he wasn’t trying to intimidate now. He was all sorts of fucked up if he saw an invitation to talk as an act of aggression.

“Shit, even your face has become more expressive.” Ty narrowed his eyes, taking in his stance, and nodded slowly. “There can be advantages to being lower than your opponent, but only if you know how to fight from that position. Do you?”

“You’re not my opponent,” Chris felt the need to clarify. Had his face really given his thoughts away? That was a scarier prospect than talking.

“No, but for a second you thought I was.” Instead of pity, Ty actually looked impressed. He wasn’t sure what he’d done to impress the man, but it was definitely there. “So answer the question, Chris, do you know how to fight your way up from the ground?”

He learned how to fight in prison and it had been a long time since someone was able to knock him to the ground. Not since David. “I can hold my own.”

“Do you think I’d trust you to take my kids out of the house if I didn’t think you could protect them?” Ty gave him a pointed look and Chris felt himself flushing again. Of course he knew Ty was very particular about who he trusted the kids with alone. The list of approved babysitters consisted of Clay’s family, Saul’s family, Bull and Red, and him. There were no high school girls on speed dial, no little old ladies who missed their grandkids, and even the day camp counselors had been thoroughly investigated before Ty allowed Chase to sign the paperwork. “You should look into some formal training. Brute force can do a lot, but finesse is more deadly.”

“Like what? Martial arts?” He wasn’t sure why they were talking about this. What did he need to learn how to fight for?

“Sure, why not? You got something better to do?” Now Ty’s grin was all amusement. “Other than playing with my kids.”

Chris threw the rag at him and grinned. “Maybe I do.”

“See, I knew you wanted to talk about it.” A polite man wouldn’t gloat. Ty probably couldn’t even spell the word polite.

“Owen and I had a conversation last night.” Chris grabbed the tools he was using and arranged them in their appropriate drawers. Ty was downright anal about his tools. “He has these nightmares every night and then he goes down to the gym. Guess he thinks it’ll help to wear himself out.” He glanced over at Ty who just shrugged. Considering Ty had a punching bag hanging up in his dining room for the longest time, Chris figured he could relate. “Last night he pounded his knuckles raw and was screaming…” He shivered at the memory of those hoarse cries. Seeing Owen like that made him want to do some pounding of his own.

“What was he screaming?” Ty asked when he hesitated.

This was Owen’s shit and he probably shouldn’t be talking about it to anyone, but he really needed to talk about it with someone. Needed advice so he wouldn’t let Owen down again. Oddly enough, he felt most comfortable with Ty and that gave him pause. Bull had been so great to him and Liam, Saul too, so why not them? “It’s weird that I’m talking to you about this.”

“Not really. I’m not a father figure in your life.” Ty gave him another of those pointed looks that said his suddenly, and alarmingly, expressive face gave his thoughts away. “We’re one of those f-words Chase likes to use so much.”

“Friends?” Chris couldn’t resist teasing. Ty just grunted at him, but he could see the amusement. “I’m not pathetic. Uh, that’s what he was screaming over and over as he punched the bag.”

Ty nodded slowly and Chris could see him turning the words over in his mind. “Someone, probably a lot of someones, did a real number on his head.”

“Yeah.” A lot of someones that Chris wanted to introduce to that brute strength Ty mentioned. “He’s all sorts of fucked up, but who of us isn’t? And that’s the problem. I’m not exactly the poster boy for sanity.”

“I’ll have to disagree with you there. Sure, life kicked the shit out of you, but you did something about it.” Ty held up his hand when Chris would have argued. “All the politically correct pacifists would have you believe that fighting back isn’t the answer. Talk it out, find a peaceful solution—its fucking bullshit. Words don’t stop fists, do they? You know that better than anyone. Bet you asked that asshole to stop, bet you begged him plenty, and he didn’t give a shit what you said. Didn’t give a shit till you took that knife and stopped him dead.”