Same Old Truths (30 page)

“Here I am monopolizing the conversation. I haven’t even asked you about your weekend.” Kay said

“Sure you have. There just wasn’t much to tell. Remember?”

The phone rang and Ruth jumped as if she was hearing it for the first time. She snatched it from it’s cradle, almost knocking over her floppy disk pen and pencil holder. With a breathlessness worthy of Marilyn Monroe she said, “Salinger’s Mortuary. Ruth Linton speaking.”

Whoever was on the other end was just the person Ruth was waiting to hear from and she, obviously, didn’t want to talk in front of Kay. “Can you hold on a sec?” She put her hand over the mouthpiece and turned to Kay. “Was there anything else, Dear?”

Even though she knew Ruth hadn’t meant to be dismissive, Kay couldn’t help feeling a little hurt. She was enjoying her chat with her friend and hated to see it end. Nevertheless, it was now clear what was behind Ruth’s startling exterior renovation - a new love interest.

Why not? Doesn’t everyone deserve some excitement in their lives?

She walked back to her office, thinking about the gentle pressure of Ed’s fingers enveloping her upper arm and a delighted giggled escaped from her lips. Other than the morning when she’d removed the dried shaving cream from his ear, she couldn’t remember another occasion when their physical contact had given her such a thrill. But as easy as it would have been to become carried away, she cautioned herself not to get too excited until the situation was duly discussed and clarified.

“I have death certificates for you,” Leo sang as Kay walked into her office. Of course, Kay startled and Leo laughed. He was slouched in a chair in front of Kay’s desk, fanning his face with the manila folder.

“If you heard me coming why didn’t you clear your throat or something, so I’d know you were there? Kay said.

“Cuz it’s funnier to see you jump.” Leo answered.

Kay thought it was funny too, but she wouldn’t give Leo the satisfaction of knowing he’d gotten one over on her. She pretended to be angry and forcefully grabbed the folder from his hand. It was her job to sort the certificates and then call the families to let them know they were ready for pick-up.

“Hey…check this one out,” Leo said, leaning over Kay’s desk and pointing to the certificate on top. “Remember that young girl we had last week? The one you said looked like that old time movie star…the one whose name was a day of the week?”

“Tuesday Weld.” Kay said.

“Yeah. Check out her cause of death. She drank too much water.”

“Get outta here,” Kay said. She looked down the page to the line that listed the official cause of death. “That’s not possible.”

Cause of Death: Water Intoxication

“Now I’ve seen everything,” Kay said, looking up at Leo.

“I heard she entered some contest trying to win a Wii gaming system. You had to drink a bunch of water and not go to the bathroom. I think it was called, “Don’t Pee and Get a Wii.”

“Oh my god,” Kay said. “I wonder if they’re going to hold the contest people responsible?”

“Well, you just know some lawyer’s going to get a hold of the family and convince them to sue.” Leo said.

Lawyer! I need to call Judith.

So she wouldn’t forget, she taped the pink message Ruth had given her to the top of her phone receiver. She had to attend to the death certificates before she did anything else. Families were waiting for their copies to file insurance claims and close out important financial accounts.

“Well, I’m sure we’ll be reading about it in the paper soon enough. Thanks, Leo.”

“No problem.” Leo said. “Hey. Have you heard I’m gonna be updating the website?”

“Really? I had no idea you were a techno-geek.” Kay said.

“Yup. I have an associate’s degree in computer science and a certification in web design. Ed was tough to convince, though. I think he couldn’t see past me washing cars and running errands. But once I showed him some of my work, he was on board.”

“That’s fantastic, Leo,” Kay said. “It’s great Ed’s giving you a chance to move up. By the way, I recently attended a presentation on social media and I could share some of the stuff I learned if you’d like.”

“Sure,” Leo said with a big smile. “That’d be fun.” He jumped up from his chair. “Well, this computer genius has gotta put away a big delivery of embalming room supplies. Talk to you later.”

Kay watched him leave thinking how surprising people can be once you get to know them. And so far, that seemed to be proving true of everyone at the mortuary.

Kay got busy with her death certificates chore. When she was finished, she reached over to set the file in the folder rack on the corner of her desk and noticed something peeking out from under the rack. She pinched it on its exposed corner and slid it out the rest of the way. Kay gasped when she saw it was Tina Chalmers’ business card. She still hadn’t called Tina like she’d promised.

Tina was her usual gracious self and dismissed Kay’s effusive apologies. “Please don’t worry about it. I’m just as busy and addle-brained as you are. I’m just happy to hear from you.”

Kay was anxious to set a date for their lunch and suggested the upcoming Friday, when things at work tended to be a little more relaxed. But Tina said she preferred a weekend when they wouldn’t be pressed to get back to work. Kay agreed.

“The only thing is I won’t be available until the Saturday after next. Will that work for you? Tina said.

Kay looked at her calendar and realized that would be Mariah’s next weekend visit home. But she knew getting away for a couple of hours to have lunch with a friend wasn’t going to be a problem. Cory would be home to supervise. (Cory banned the use of the word “babysit” whenever it was applied to Mariah).

“That’ll be perfect. How about Kouzina over on Henson? Say 12:30? A refreshing Greek salad and copious amounts of wine?”

Tina giggled. “I don’t know. Do you think we can be trusted to behave ourselves?”

“I certainly hope not,” Kay said. “What would be the fun in that?”

They ended the conversation and Kay made sure to mark her calendar.

One down, one to go.

Kay peeled off the taped pink message that had been fluttering around with every call she’d previously made. As she waited on hold for Judith to come on the line, she marveled at how dramatically her mood had changed since her dreary drive to work a couple of hours earlier. And for some unknown reason, she felt sure Judith was about to give her some news which would launch her happy disposition into the stratosphere.

* * *

Kay arrived at Kouzina precisely at 12:30 to find the weekend lunch crowd bigger than she’d expected. She inched through the large group of people at the front waiting to be seated and scanned the dining room for a, possibly-early, Tina.

No such luck. Better get my name on the waiting list.

“Two - for Manning,” Kay said to the hostess standing behind the podium.

Without looking up from the scribbled list on her yellow legal pad, the bored young woman announced, “The wait is 15 to 20 minutes.”

Probably hoping I’ll leave.

“That’s fine,” Kay said.

She turned to find a seat among the other hungry hopefuls and almost crashed into a radiant Tina.

“Boo!” Tina said, causing Kay to let out a startled yelp.

The two women burst out laughing and immediately fell into an enthusiastic embrace.

“Excuse me. You’re blocking the way.” The hostess had come around from behind her podium of power, cradling a stack of menus in her arm and glaring at Tina and Kay.

“Whatever happened to that sweet tiny old woman who used to seat the customers?” Tina asked, not bothering to lower her voice.

“That was the owner’s grandma. She died last year. I know cuz Salinger’s handled the services. They shipped her body back to Greece for burial.”

The hostess just rolled her eyes and called out, “Dumbass, party of five.”

“It’s pronounced DooMAH,” the disgruntled gentleman heading the waiting party said as they got up and walked past the hostess. “It’s French.”

“Whatever,” the disinterested girl muttered under her breath.

Kay and Tina wasted no time filling the vacated seats. Happily wiggling herself next to her friend on the bench, Kay patted Tina on the thigh. “Here we are. Finally! I was beginning to wonder if the Fates were messing with us again.”

Tina didn’t answer. She just looked at Kay with a big goofy grin that made her feel self-conscious.

“What?” Kay said. “Do I have a booger?” Kay lowered her head and discretely slid the back of her index finger back and forth under her nose.

Tina let out a deep-throated giggle and shoved her shoulder against Kay’s. “Oh,stop. You’re fine.”

“So why are you looking at me like at that?” Kay said.

The grin came back on Tina’s face.

“Ok. Now you’re starting to freak me out. What’s going on?”

“Well…funny you should mention the Fates. It’s happened again.” Tina said, grinning even wider.

“It’s hap…? What are you talking about?”

“You’ll never guess who I’ve just come from renting a townhouse to?” Tina said.

“Manning. Party of two.”

“That was quick,” Kay said, perturbed the hostess had chosen that particular moment to become efficient.

Tina and Kay stood and followed her to a table. As soon as they sat a waiter appeared, took their drink order (a bottle of their best Pinot Noir) and then left them to study the menu. But Kay wasn’t interested in the daily special quite yet. She was anxious to find out the identity of the potential tenant making Tina act so squirrelly.

“So who is this person you rented a townhouse to? I’m assuming they’ve rented from you before.” Kay asked.

“Rented before? No, no, no. That’s not what I meant.”

“I’m lost, Tina. What’s happened again and what does it have to do with the Fates?”

The wine arrived, and with a display of grand oenophilic showmanship, the waiter removed the cork and poured.

Tina raised her glass in a toast. “To our friendship.” They clinked their glasses together and tasted their wine.

“Ok. No more interruptions. Tell me what the hell is going on.” Kay said.

“Remember how we used to talk about all the weird chain of events that led up to your divorce?”

“Yes,” Kay said. The suspense was beginning to get to her. She took a big gulp of wine.

“Well, imagine my astonishment when I get a call from, none other than, Sandy wanting to make an appointment to see one of our properties.” Tina said. “I’ve just come from the showing.”

A cold shiver traveled down Kay’s spine. Tina’s statement was so unexpected and weird, for a brief second Kay couldn’t remember who Sandy even was.

“Did she recognize you?” Kay asked.

“If she did she didn’t say. We’ve only met once - I think it was when I came to the office for my last check.” Tina said. “I told her who I was thinking she might appreciate the coincidence, but she didn’t seem interested. All she said was,“You don’t say,” and then asked me about the garbage disposal. I was going to ask after Dave, but I got the feeling it wouldn’t be well-received.”

“No doubt,” Kay said. “Did she happen to mention why she was looking?” Kay wondered if there could be trouble in paradise.

“As a matter of fact she did,” Tina replied. “She said Dave was doing a big remodel on their house and they needed a place to escape the mess.”

“Major renovations AND a temporary residence?” Kay said. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“Sure it does. I have clients who do it all the time.” Tina said.

“No. That’s not what I mean.”

Kay spent the next few minuets filling Tina in on all of Dave’s financial machinations over the past year and her well-intentioned, but misplaced efforts to work with him. Her troublesome tale climaxed with Sandy accosting her at the band pageant with the news of Dave’s bonus and their trip to Maui.

“Ouch! That had to hurt,” Tina said.

“Yeah, but only from hitting my head against the wall for falling for his lies again. But do you know the thing about hitting your head against the wall? It feels so good when you stop. Once my head quit throbbing I marched right back to my lawyer and
demanded
we take that sorry S.O.B back to court.”

Kay emphasized her defiant declaration with a crisp bob of her head and another drink from her wine glass. Of course, Kay knew she had conveniently left out the part where Leslie had to convinced her to consult with Judith. But her heroic telling of the story was being fueled by Tina’s rapt expression, as well as, the pinot noir. If they didn’t eat soon, Kay was going to be drunk.

“So what happened?” Tina said. She was thoroughly engrossed in the story.

“Can I tell you after we order? I’m really starting to feel this wine.” Kay said.

Kay talked Tina into sharing an appetizer of feta fries. “…something to munch on ‘till they bring our food.” They also agreed to another bottle of wine. “So what if we have to take a taxi home? This reunion deserves a celebration.” Kay said.

“Tell you what. I’ll spring for your cab fare,” Tina said.