Sand Glass (21 page)

Jared
immediately found the water room. A little place he could wash and
freshen up. Janey sat on a bench with her back against the wall. I
thought it better just let her think, and I followed Jared to the
small washrooms. Here water was directed into basins by a series of
stops and plugs. I hadn’t quite mastered the art of this and it was
some minutes before I had a bowl filled with the crystal liquid. I
dipped my hands in the refreshing mineral coldness and splashed
some onto my face and body. I wanted to keep myself hidden. I felt
weirdly exposed at that moment in a way I could not justify to
myself. I tried a slap with that invisible towel as recommended by
Alex, but it didn’t really work. So I dunked my whole head into the
bowl. I rose up dripping and gasping. Then I saw that Janey was
standing just by the doorway. I wiped the water from my eyes.

‘Do you need to
use the room? I thought there was another.’

‘Davey? What do
you mean?’ she came forward. With a brain jingling shock I got
it!

‘Janey! You’re
here!’ My voice went up with that higher strangled sound. I was
desperately trying to work out how to get her out of here without
seeming rude, and without her bumping into the other Janey… the one
I had just arrived with.

‘I heard you
were back.’ She regarded me with that look of shyness that I really
only ever saw in the eyes of people who were expressing pity rather
than interest in me.

‘Yes.’ Dumb as
ever I thought. Come on! Think what to say!

‘You seem so
different.’ She said and came towards me and touched my bare chest.
It was where a reddish mark that would eventually become a scar
told the story of the sea shore. I felt a prickle in my skin. She
took her hand away. She seemed puzzled.

‘I want to tell
you what I found. But later. But now you need to see who is here
with me. Please wait here a moment.’ I slipped the shirt back over
my head without undoing the buttons first, and went straight into
the larger room. She sat there still, not moving; her head bowed.
Jared came back in.

‘You look like
someone called you a name and stole your bicycle!’ he said with a
big smile. His hair was wet, and his shirt was unbuttoned.

‘She’s here….’
I hissed, ‘Inside the washroom door.’

‘Who?’ Jared
Calmly rubbed his hair with one of the large rough cloths.

‘Janey.’

Jared glanced
across the room.

‘Other Janey!’
I said.

‘Okay. Do calm
down. You really should try to get gently drunk occasionally. I
wouldn’t normally recommend it but you really need to relax.’

‘Okay.’ I
said.

‘Okay.’ Jared
smiled and disappeared back towards the washroom.

A moment later
I heard a little shriek. Then Jared came back in with the Janey
from back home hanging onto his arm. Her face was rapt with the
kind of expression that I was certain no one would ever use on
looking at me. Sour grapes I guess. I mentally braced myself for
what was coming. But at that moment we were interrupted by a
delegation of Heelio, Andre, Maki, Leanna, and two other of the
women. Just behind them, and holding back in and uncharacteristic
way was Marcia. I saw Jared stiffen and look wary as he caught
sight of Marcia. The room seemed full of people.

‘It is time….’
Heelio came to Jared; ‘for the words that the young one speaks to
be make whole.’

For the life of
me I didn’t understand this at all. Leanna looked at me. They were
all looked at me, even Marcia, who I would have thought,
considering the situation to have eyes only for Jared. I looked to
the Janey who sat, she looked up at me. She stood and came forward
with a resigned kind of air to her. She came and stood next to me.
She looked waif thin and there were shadows under her eyes. Janey
from our world looked at her feet and then her eyes travelled up
wards until their eyes met. The silence was complete. This woman
who was worn and thin, who had travelled from the impossible sea at
that end place, turned to me with a pleading expression in her
eyes. The other looked at me with an expression of overtaxed wonder
that could become panic or even anger at any moment. She still held
onto Jared’s hand, and stood even closer to him. Her eyes narrowed,
as one might do in bright sunlight

‘Heelio,’ I
said, ‘tell me how these two can become one again?’

‘Ah!’ he sucked
in a breath, ‘there is a way. It will not be to anyone’s liking.
And we often let the other… whichever that would choose to be,
dissolve into the earth. That way the spirit is free at last. And
you would say… they can “Make up their mind”. It takes a time.’

‘How long?’ I
asked trying to be as patient as I knew.

‘Two turns of
the moon. Sometimes three.’ Heelio held out his hands in offering,
‘Only those who choose it may do so. Only those whose soul is truly
divided may take this path. And then is nothing certain. For such
things are not within the choice of our people. The Lady must take
only the path she wants for her whole heart.’

‘I’m sorry.’ I
said, ‘I….don’t know what you want. I don’t know what this
means.’

‘I think we
need to talk.’ Our Janey from the end place had spoken. The other
frowned, and then nodded slowly.

Just at that
moment the first glow of late evening light started to transverse
the room.

Janey Amber
(for now I must think of her) stepped nearer to the other.

‘Do you know
who I am?’ she asked

The other Janey
(the one who had been living as “Harriet”) stared with a frozen
expression as if there was something that she wished to do to
remove this imposter from among their number.

‘This requires
some moments of thought. We will understand this later.’ Heelio
spoke in a simple way just as if this was quite a common place
matter. All the tribespeople left the room except Leanna. Leanna
took Janey Amber aside for a few moments. She then went to the
other and spoke softly to her. She detached herself from Jared and
moved away. They talked a little more; I saw this Janey (also
Harriet) appear to relax slightly, and then in a gesture that was
half an offhand shrug, half acquiescence she glanced at Marcia and
mouthed something. Leanna and the two Janeys then left the
room.

Jared had stood
all the while that this was happening with an expression of
confusion, sadness, and bewilderment. He finally unfroze and
blinked rather hard.

I most
definitely felt like the large green gooseberry that I was and
moved away to the other end of the room. Jared followed me. ‘Oh
Hell! What on earth is going on Davey?’ he had the startled look of
a horse that isn’t used to explosions and is about to bolt. Marcia
stood patiently waiting for us both to decide what happened
next.

‘Maybe you need
to spent some time catching up with the outside world.’ I rolled my
eyes to Marcia.

‘But….but it’s
complicated.’

‘So is Algebra.
Just try to make sense of this. We’re all terribly confused.’ I
tried not to sound petulant, and added: ‘well I’m confused. You
have a go at sorting out reality, now we’ve got back this far.’

‘Okay, I will
if you will.’ He smiled disarmingly and squeezed my shoulder.

‘See you
later.’ I said.

‘Yes….absolutely.’ he looked at me, a question still in his eyes;
but then turned and went to Marcia.

‘Dear Eve….’ He
said softly, ‘please can we find a little place to talk now?’

I didn’t know
what the “Eve” reference meant to them. But they left the room
together. It left me staring rather uncomfortably at the now empty
room.

I realised that
there might be no answer to what we had entered into in this place.
This Summerland allowed two versions of someone to meet. I
remembered, or I thought I remembered about the ice fields, and
about meeting yourself. Perhaps we were all haunted by something
that was not a ghost, but a shadow of ourselves, trying to break
through out of another place and time. Was this literally a doorway
to other dimensions? Did I leave in one and return in another; or
was it only myself and Marcia who remained unchanged while all the
rest of the world changed around us? I considered possibilities and
came to the simple conclusion that I did not know what I would do,
if we could not fix this. And my perception of the experiment from
my unscientific perspective, though not literally true, was in fact
as good a representation of what existed as anything else. Jared’s
plan, with no detail, although ominous sounding; could be the only
way to achieve the result required in the time frame. I remembered
the move the soldiers had made on this land and resolved to do what
I could to speed things up to a conclusion. The meet that Jared had
set up with Alexander for tomorrow was the craziest scheme I’d ever
heard; after all he had managed to beat us last time!

At that moment
Janey returned. That is to say Janey who came with me and Marcia
strolled back into the room and came straight to me. She seemed
worried. I felt really sorry I had involved this woman in my life.
The other was the girl I had first learned to love. There was no
doubt in my mind that I would go with her, if it came down to a
choice.

‘I’m sorry.’
she said.

‘Whatever
for?’

‘For confusing
you.’

‘It’s alright.’
I replied

‘You wanted me
to be like her. I wish I was. As soon as the time is right tomorrow
I’m going to go home. Marcia worked out that it’s not too far.
She’ll drive me if it proves to be a short trip.’ And with this
speech, she sat down as if looking for applause.

‘Please, don’t
leave.’ I said. ‘You are just as much part of this as anyone. So
stay. Heelio may have a way to permanently stop the diverging
possibilities, and to rejoin the two into being one again.’

‘I don’t want
that. I’ve not been happy.’ She looked at me in the eyes fully as
if trying to weigh up what I was trying to do, ‘It’s always that
tie; I didn’t think I would be here doing my best for the
expedition if I liked wearing it all day.’

‘What?’

‘You say that a
lot don’t you. Always wondering aren’t you Milnes? Always waiting
for an explanation so you can cleverly put all the pieces together!
Is it any wonder that you are still waiting?’ Janey stood up then,
her lips pressed together as if ready to deliver more.

‘Janey! Please…
that’s not fair. I want to help you. Please let me!’ I reached out
to her, but she shrugged me off, eyes blazing.

‘No! Don’t
touch me! I saw how you looked at her! She’s nothing! Just an idea.
A thought in my mind that I hoped I had got rid of. It seems that
you are so stuck on her…. You’ll be glad when I’m gone home. You
can keep her…. I really think it was rotten to trick me like
that!’

‘Janey…. I’d
didn’t trick you. You came in here yourself. Jared and I were in
the washroom. I didn’t know you were coming then…. I’m sorry.’

‘Yeah….sure.’
She looked down, ‘well, everyone’s sorry. I’ll leave you two in
peace for the evening. If I could go back right now I would.’

My mind was
tumbling over itself with what to say. I felt suddenly very weak
indeed. The light was crossing the long room and we stood alone in
this place. I looked back at her face, so angry. I tried to see it
differently and wasn’t sure how. Just one thought was clear.

‘What about
Jared?’ I asked her.

‘Jared? Oh…..
He’s here isn’t he? Nice try that was…. Classy touch too, Marcia
and the whole gang romping in and interrupting at just the right
moment. You really have it all worked out.’

‘You know that
had nothing to do with me…’

‘It was true.
It happened. I always have to wait in line.’ She seemed to calm a
little then, ‘you will never know what it has been like to live in
the shadow of your brother your entire life. Perhaps it’s better
this way. Just as it is.’

‘You mean the
way it is back at home? Do you mean that?’ I felt short of breath
then, perhaps the adrenaline rush at the end of a long day. Janey
was seriously freaking me out; I was getting more confused, and
scared that if I said the wrong thing she would run off into the
night and get lost out there. Objectively I knew that people would
end up back home eventually but that wasn’t it at all. She would
survive all this…. And at that moment she seemed to think it was
enough. I felt beaten down. After all, I had no obligation I could
press on her.

‘Look… if you
are going tomorrow. Then please let one of the tribe be your guide
and lead you back across the plains. I don’t know how long it would
take but we will need the buggy. Jared needs it tomorrow…’

‘Well yes of
course. Marcia will be taking you all to finish whatever curious
business you have to attend to in this place.’ She turned as if to
go then, ‘I know it’s terribly important. But perhaps you should
simply just persuade them to all go home.’

‘Yes. You are
right.’ I said.

She stared at
me, ‘Really? You mean that?’

‘Yes….We are
trying to find a way out. And you are telling me it’s that simple….
I think you’re right. I think it is.’

‘I’m right?’
she said and smiled, ‘Well….there’s a thing.’

‘The problem
is…..well as I see it,’ I looked to her and she nodded for me to
continue, ‘…is that Jared has some sort of vendetta against this Mr
Rimmington…’

‘Mr Rimmington?
The new director Rimmington?’

‘Yes.’

‘I sense that
there is a conspiracy afoot. You are going to tell me there’s more
to it than that.’

'There’s
definitely more to it than that.’ I said firmly.

I saw the cogs
turning in her mind. Her eyes flickered as she was thinking at
speed; ‘I see,’ she said, ‘I think I know something.’

‘What?’ I asked
her curiosity killing me as always.

‘I can’t tell
you. Really. I have to go back. I have to do something…’