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Chapter Nineteen
 

 

My name is Brenna
.

Veronica was not happy with Edmund’s reading. Her mouth tensed, causing wrinkles to appear around her eyes, marring her marble smooth complexion. I wanted to speak with her, but my old boss called me up to his apartment. I left her to absorb what he’d said. Besides, I needed to talk with him after so much had happened. I wasn’t sure where the lines blended with Veronica and me anymore.

She had attacked me, but then saved me from herself. The conflict loomed in her whenever I looked at her. It was as if her brain danced in duality between what she was and what her scattered humanity dictated. She couldn’t admit that part of her was a thing without the ability to feel pain, something without a conscience. She crossed that threshold over two centuries ago. I hoped Edmund could sort out some of my many questions.

As we stood together in the elevator, the back of my mind began to itch. I shook my head, trying to ignore the tingling.

“What’s the matter?” he asked as we stepped off the elevator and into the lobby.

I closed Edmund’s door behind me and followed him into the living room. I plopped down on his black leather couch while he went into the kitchen and got a drink. After a moment, the door opened again and the clicking of claws sounded on the hardwood floors as the dogs came running. Justin, a miniature golden retriever, pounced on me, licking me as if he were still a puppy. Next came Isis, a half Chihuahua-Jack Russell terrier mix. When she saw me, she yipped and barked. I pushed Justin off and put Isis on my lap, and she sat there as if she were on a throne. I smiled, remembering all the times she’d sat on my foot waiting for me to scratch her belly. Things had been simpler when I’d been younger. Edmund, Isis, and I had been roommates for a year while I was in school. That was then, and this was now, when I had vampires to worry about and wondered if I’d be living the rest of my life in only a few short days.

The front door closed again, and I heard the elevator go down. Joshua, Edmund’s boyfriend, must have dropped off the dogs and gone back out. Joshua used to go to school with me as well and worked at the Tearoom while I did. It was there that he became involved with Edmund and had been one of the reasons I moved out of Edmund’s after only a year.

“You weren’t supposed to be in Boston until Samhain,” he said while standing at the bar that separated the kitchen from the living room.

I shrugged, thinking of Samhain, the Celtic name for Halloween. It was true I hadn’t planned on coming to help him with the annual séance the Tearoom held until then. When he called asking me to help with the ghostly gathering, I thought it a little odd. It was unlike Edmund to call anyone to come and visit him, let alone ask for help. His abilities kept him cloistered as the emotions of others pressed on his mind. Even though he had the same abilities as me, he was more powerful than I could ever imagine. While I’d been living with him, he’d only ventured out once or twice a week. He employed dog walkers and couriers to do his grocery shopping. The world was just too much for him to deal with. I, on the other hand, learned to drown out the static of others’ feelings. It was easy. I imagined a volume control and turned it down to a reasonable level. It shut out much of the din, but there was always static lingering in my mind from all the bustling minds.

“Yeah, well, things change. Life changes. It’s funny you know. Who would figure after all this time I’d end up right back where I started.”

Edmund took a sip of his soda and stared at me. The pressure of his thoughts descended on mine as he read my mind. I didn’t care.

“You shouldn’t have brought her here. She’s not…normal.”

I laughed at the word. No, Veronica was anything but normal. “You’re right on that one. Why not bring her here? Just because she’s—” I paused, not being able to say the word vampire in front of Edmund. He had always known my fascination with the creatures of the night. Now bringing one to the meet him was a little strange. Admitting what Veronica was, confessing her existence to him would make the past two weeks real. “She’s different, yes, but she has the right to know her destiny.”

“Raven, she’s a fucking vampire. Only you would find something like her and bring her here. It doesn’t surprise me in the least. You’ve always had a fascination for the dark. You’re right—I guess she does deserve to know her future. I couldn’t tell her what path she walks on. She had a hand in choosing her own destiny, just like you and me, before she incarnated on this earth. And now, like you, she faces a huge decision.”

“We all face decisions. She’s trying to keep us away from her bastard of a master. That was why I brought her here. I thought you could help her. I need to know why she came into my life the way she did. Why now, when things were going great? Was it Fate, or just my luck that a real vampire would walk into my life, considering I thought ghosts were the only things that defied death?”

“Raven, you and I both know there are many different kinds of beings that lurk in the shadows. What do you think the beings are that give you information? You just don’t pull the readings out of your ass. They come from somewhere, the Divine maybe, angels, devils, whatever they are. That isn’t the point. I can’t give you the answer you’re looking for.”

“I’m not asking for a reading. I’m asking a question. Damn it!” I propelled off the couch, turning my back on my one time employer. I examined his windowsill, noticing all the different types of candles. Some had burned together forming rainbow pools of wax. The faint scent of smoke lingered in the air as if he’d just blown them out before coming downstairs. It wouldn’t surprise me.

“Sit down, Raven, and I’ll answer your question.” I sighed and joined him again. “One thing, you’re here a month early. I had a feeling you’d come unexpected, but it’s probably for the better. I didn’t think you’d have a guest. She throws a wrench in things somewhat, but in the end it will work out. What matters is that you’re here, and I believe it was Fate that brought you here early. Now both of us believe in Fate and that before we are born we pave a path for our own destiny. Right?”

I nodded. Edmund and I had had this talk many times in the past. It was a general belief among the psychics in the Tearoom that before being born as humans, we chose the main outcome of our life. The specifics of choice and free will, and the sequence of events were left up to Fate, or God, or whatever one believed in.

Many of the psychics at the Tearoom were Wiccan, worshiping nature and God as two separate, but equal entities, the God and Goddess. While there, I adopted some of their beliefs, like calling Halloween Samhain, but only because the distinction was made that Samhain was not the compromised version of Halloween, when children went house to house to get candy and witches were green skinned women riding brooms or hovering over bubbling cauldrons. Instead, it was a night when the lines between the worlds were thin. It was transparent enough to have ghosts come back from the grave to reach out and contact their loved ones. It was the night the New Year began in the Wiccan tradition, when people stockpiled for the oncoming winter. I believed in this, and the only reason children dressed up was to frighten away evil spirits that floated around on the fright-filled night. In terms of a god, I acknowledged something floating above us, and no matter what sex it was, all that mattered was that it had acceptance for everything.

“What does Fate have to do with all of this, Edmund?” I asked, trying to avoid looking at his teeth, stained brown from all of the clove cigarettes he inhaled.

“Fate has everything to do with it. Why do you think you’re here so early? It’s not to talk about the séance. It’s about your destiny. You need answers to questions you’ve already got the answers to. All you have to do is think about everything you were before Veronica came into your life. That is the answer.”

I started to speak, but he glared at me. He had spoken his piece and wouldn’t say any more. My irritation rose. I wanted to kill Edmund; he always spoke in riddles. It was better to drop the subject and move on. I’d figure out the meaning later, and then realize that whatever he said was right anyway.

“So how’s the Tearoom going? Business been good?”

He smiled sadly. I tried sensing his thoughts, but like always I couldn’t get past his barriers. He was impossible to read, but every once in a while when he wasn’t expecting it, I slipped in. This was not one of the times.

“It’s dying. Slowly, of course. I’m sure once some new life has been put into it, it’ll thrive again. The Tearoom has an energy of its own and will outlast all of us.” Edmund paused and lit up a cigarette. He gulped a quick puff and then continued. “How’s business for you?”

“Fine. It’s been good.” I stopped as Edmund erupted in one of his coughing fits. This time it was a deeper cough than the one I was used to hearing. I wondered how his health was. I hoped his infection hadn’t caused his immune system to fail. “Are you okay?”

“Oh, yeah. Just peachy. I’ll be fine. I just gotta stop smoking these damn things. Or maybe even the pot. Yeah, right!” He laughed.

I smiled at the comment, though I knew he was hiding something. Of course, I knew if he didn’t want to talk about something, he wouldn’t.

“You should go back and get your friend. I don’t like her much, but she’ll figure things out. Trust me, she means well, so you can trust her no matter what. I’ll see you next week when you stop in. I’ll have something for you by then. Now, give me a hug.”

I leaned over, sinking more into the couch as I got to him, but that was okay. I wondered what he meant about me stopping in and something for me. Knowing Edmund, it was probably a crystal. I didn’t think I’d be staying that long. I yearned to get back to New Orleans so I could get on with my life. I hoped Veronica would come with me, but I didn’t know. I had clients waiting, and the chill of fall hung in the air of Boston. I didn’t want to be in the city as it got colder.

“It was good to see you. And thanks for everything.”

I got up and out of his bear embrace, looking at him one last time, remembering how much he’d done for me over the years I worked for him. He really was a big brother to me, and I never found the right way to repay him for his help in developing my abilities. He looked the same after all these years. His head was still bald with spikes of black and grey hair protruding from it, but he had lost a few pounds from his hefty frame. He seemed healthy aside from his cough, but then again, he’d had that all the years I knew him. I shook off the thought. Yes, he just had to give up smoking.

“If you think too much, smoke’ll come out of your ears. Now go downstairs,” he urged.

“See ya, Edmund.” I gave Isis a final pat and walked out of the apartment, closing the door before pressing the button for the elevator. I waited and then rode the elevator back to the Tearoom. Veronica was nowhere to be seen.

“She went downstairs, Raven,” Peter called from the back, where an old couch still survived, where all the psychics sat and got a clear view of the door.

“Thanks, Peter. I’ll see you later.”

“Bye,” he yelled down.

The elevator jerked to the ground floor. Veronica stood outside, leaning against the glass front of the building. Observing her, I wondered what she thought about while she scanned the people. Did her hunger linger underneath the surface of her thoughts? I now knew how hard it was for her to be what she was, and it hadn’t been her choice. My thoughts of becoming a vampire had been romanticized, and the harshness of the bloodlust never entered my mind. Even though I didn’t want to be a vampire anymore, I wondered if I could still hypnotize her, fooling her into thinking I was.

I pictured the purple in my aura growing outwards, expanding until it encompassed all of my senses and touched the humans in the building and anyone who came in. A cool chill zapped through my spine as the familiar feeling I had become something removed from society descended over me. My gums tingled as if I anticipated the call of blood, but really it was the thought of overcoming her. Smiling, I opened my eyes, unaware of the people who didn’t notice me walking in. I willed them not to see me, and they didn’t.

My aura rubbed against Veronica’s. The muscles in her back tensed. Her hands clenched and her finger stretched an inch or so. Placing a hand on Veronica’s shoulder, I made her jump. It reminded me of what she had done when I thought her to be human and she thought me to be a vampire. The ability to fool her was still in me.

Veronica recovered quickly. Her hand came within centimeters of my throat as she spun around. Anger flashed in her eyes when she realized it was me, but she relaxed, allowing her fingers to shrink back to normal.

“I could have hurt you,” she growled. “Why did you do that?”

“To see if I could and to test a theory,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

Veronica ran her hands through her hair and peered into my eyes, contemplating something. Probably whether or not to scold me or to just let the matter drop.

“Do you think you could fool other vampires?”

I nodded, understanding her train of thought. She assumed if I deceived her we could fool Devon into thinking I had become a vampire and he would leave us alone. I assumed even if we did mislead him, he would still come after Veronica and me. Even if we couldn’t fool him, I knew I had tricked others of her kind in the past. I remembered the vampire in New Orleans the first time I met Veronica. He assumed I was like him and let me pass unharmed.

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