Sapphire Beautiful (19 page)

He’s frowning, but I get the feeling he’s still not quite catching on. “The last time I was intimate with Doug was in May.” I pat my abdomen. “I think it would be a bit more obvious I was pregnant if I was that far along.”

“Oh,” he says as awareness finally spreads over his face. “Is he going to be there for you? The father?”

“It’s complicated,” I tell him.

He shakes his head. “There’s nothing complicated about it. If he’s a real man he’ll step up to the plate and take responsibility for his actions.”

I’m a little taken aback when Andrew places his hand on mine. He’s never touched me before. My instinct is to move my hand, but for some reason I don’t. “I’ll be there for you, if you need me.”

It takes a moment for his words to sink in. Is he really telling me that he’ll step up to the plate if the father of my child doesn’t?

“I need to get ready for class,” I tell him.

He gives my hand a squeeze before he lets it go. Then he looks into my eyes and says, “I meant what I said, Mary. You won’t have to raise that child on your own.”

I swallow because my throat feels like it’s going to close. I’m not sure what to say. Luckily Andrew rises from the chair. He gives a knock on the desk. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

And then he exits.

Five words go through my head: What the fuck just happened?

***

L
eave it to Misty to roam into my office just as I’m getting ready to leave for my doctor’s appointment.

“Dr. Pine!” She sounds more enthusiastic than she normally is. Today it really grates on my nerves. I take in a deep breath and do my best to remain calm and cordial.

“You’ll never believe what I found,” she continues.

“As excited as I am to hear about it, Misty. I’m on my way to a doctor’s appointment and I don’t want to be late. It’s the last appointment of the day.

It’s only then that she seems to realize that I look worse than shit on a biscuit. “Are you okay?”

“Can we meet tomorrow afternoon?”

She nods. “Sure.” Then she stares at me for a few seconds. “Do you have cancer?” she whispers.

“I don’t have cancer,” I assure her. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

What is it with people thinking I have cancer?

***

D
ante is pacing outside the doctor’s office when I arrive.

“I wish I could give you a hug right now,” he whispers as we step inside the office.

Luckily there’s no one else in the waiting room when we enter. Dr. Hunt’s assistant gives me a warm smile when she sees me, but her brow furrows when she notices Dante.

“This is my boyfriend,” I tell her.

She nods. “We allow couples into the examination rooms for these types of visits.”

It only takes a few minutes before we’re called back. I’m handed a cup for a urine sample, which luckily doesn’t take very long to provide, and then I give a blood sample. I’m weighed and measured. Then a nurse takes me and Dante into a private room. She hands me a paper gown and tells me to put it on before she says, “The doctor should be in shortly.”

Dante sits on a chair near the corner holding my purse and my clothes. Biting his bottom lip he looks as nervous as I feel.

The room is cold and stark, but with Dante here I feel a little more secure than I normally do when I see a physician.

When Dr. Hunt finally arrives my heart starts to thump a bit faster. When I started seeing him ten years ago he was fresh out of his residency, just staring his practice. I feel like the two of us have grown up together, professionally anyway. Now approaching his forties he’s finally showing some signs of age, although he’d probably still qualify for hot doc status, if there was such a thing.

“So...” he says as he looks at my chart. “You’re pregnant.”

I glare at him. “You told me I couldn’t get pregnant.”

He shakes his head. “I never said that. I told you it was highly unlikely that you would ever get pregnant. I advised you that you had a greater chance of having complications from oral contraceptives than you had of getting pregnant. Improbable is not the same as impossible.”

That hits me hard. “I’ve been sexually active for fifteen years,” I tell him. “How did this happen now?”

He glances at Dante. “Perhaps your new partner has greater motility.” Then he looks back at me. “Or something could have changed for you biologically. Medicine is not an exact science. We do the best we can with the information we have at any given time.”

Not really the answer I want to hear, but it’s the answer I get. 

Raising an eyebrow he asks, “How do you feel about this pregnancy?”

“Shocked,” I tell him honestly. “I had already come to terms with the fact that I wasn’t going to have children.”

“Do you feel like you want to continue with the pregnancy?”

It takes a moment for me to realize what he’s asking. I notice Dante is looking at me expectantly.

I nod. “I do. It’s just—the timing isn’t great.” 

“If I had a dollar for every time one of my patients said that I’d already be retired.”

“What now?” I ask.

“We’ll do a first trimester ultrasound today to see how things look. We can make sure there are no complications and also get a good estimate of how far along you are. And we’ll put you on a regular examination schedule. I’ve got a large packet of information for you. It’s my own version of
What to Expect When You’re Expecting
.”

After Dr. Hunt gives me a thorough physical he instructs Dante and I to head across the hallway for an ultrasound. 

The jelly the ultrasound technician puts on my abdomen is cold. I don’t like the feeling of the ultrasound probe as she presses it against my abdomen. But it’s amazing when Dante and I see an image on the screen.

Even though the embryo doesn’t look very human yet it’s still amazing that I have another person growing inside of me. 

“Here’s a snapshot,” the ultrasound tech says as she hands Dante a paper copy of what we’re seeing on the screen.

His hands shake as he stares at it for a long moment. I expect him to hand the paper to me, but he carefully folds it and places it in his wallet instead.

Once we’re back in the examination room waiting for Dr. Hunt to return I ask Dante if he’s okay. He looks lost in his own thoughts.

He nods.

“Are you sure?”

Taking my hand in his he says, “I’m sure.” Then he kisses my knuckles.

Dante continues holding my hand when Dr. Hunt comes back into the examination room. “Looks like you’re eight weeks along. That will put your due date the last week of May. Everything looks fine at this point. Do you have any other questions for me?”

He looks back and forth between me and Dante.

I’m not even sure what to ask. Dante shakes his head.

“Okay,” Dr. Hunt says. “Don’t hesitate to give us a call if you have questions. When you check out my assistant will have that packet for you and she can schedule your next exam.”

There’s a twenty dollar co-payment for the visit. Just as I’m about the take my checkbook from my purse Dante grabs his wallet and hands the assistant a twenty dollar bill.

The packet Dr. Hunt referred to is so large it’s almost overwhelming. There’s information about everything from upgraded birthing suites to breastfeeding tips.

This is really happening. I’m actually having a baby.

Once we’re outside I take in a deep breath of fresh air. A steady stream of cracker ingestion throughout the day has decreased the nausea substantially, but I still don’t feel like myself completely. I feel like an alien has invaded my body. Invasion of the Body Snatchers, but not by some alien pod, I’ve been invaded by another human being.

Just as I’m about to ask Dante how he’s feeling his eyes grow wide. His sister, Ally, is hurrying down the sidewalk toward us, her blonde hair bouncing with every springy step she takes.

When she stops in front of us she’s grinning from ear to ear. “Looks like I just won a thousand bucks.”

Dante shoots daggers at her. “What are you talking about?”

“Hmm.” She points to the doctor’s office behind us. “I wonder why the two of you could possibility be walking out of an obstetrician’s office?” Turning her attention to me she says, “Your girlfriend works fast. Ty thought it would take at least another month for the gold-digging whore to get knocked up. He’s usually much better with the odds than that.” 

Dante’s jaw is set and his mouth is a thin angry line. If it was humanly possible I’m quite sure steam would be coming out of his ears. Pointing an index finger into her smug little face he says, “Don’t you ever speak to Mary that way again.”

She looks at him defiantly. “I can’t wait to see the look on Mom and Dad’s face when I tell them. As if you’re not already a gigantic loser. I can’t believe you didn’t see this coming, Dante. Or were you just so happy that someone was finally fucking you that you didn’t care if she screwed you too. I hope the sex was worth it because it’ll probably cost you millions.”

“What are you even doing here, Ally?” His eyes narrow. “This isn’t even a part of town you frequent.”

She shrugs. “Once in a while I like to hook up with the guy who runs a tattoo parlor down the block. He’s an artist, so he’s really good with his hands. I’ll have to take a raincheck though because I’ve got to get home to collect my money. And tell Mom and Dad how badly you screwed up.

I feel like I’m going to throw up, but not from morning sickness this time. There’s a knot in my stomach thinking about Dante’s parents and how they’ll react to him being a father.

I think Ally is a selfish, self-serving mean girl, but she is right about one thing. Paul and Jennifer are going to think I did this on purpose. I have no doubt they’ll think I’m a gold-digging whore who trapped Dante by getting pregnant when nothing could be further from the truth.

“See ya,” Ally says before she gives us a sly grin and hurries away.

Dante and I stand there for a moment in stunned silence. I wait for him to say something, anything, just to ease the thick tension that’s now in the air between us.

“My parents are going to kill me,” he says finally. “I mean that literally. They are going to kill me.”

“You don’t have to do this,” I tell him. “You know what Ally said isn’t true. I don’t want any more of your money. I don’t need it. I can do this on my own.”

“No.” His tone is a lot harsher than I expect.

“No?”

“I’m not going to let you raise our baby on your own. I would never do that.” There’s pain in his eyes. “Do you really think I’d do that?”

I gulp. “That’s not what I meant. I know you’re a good person. I know you want to do the right thing. But maybe the right thing is for you just to be twenty-two. To finish grad school. To not be tied down. I’m just saying that you don’t have to be trapped and I don’t expect you to be. I’m giving you options.”

“I don’t feel trapped. At all. I want to be with you. I want to support you.” He stares at me for a long moment. “How old were you when you married Doug?”

I heave a sigh. “I wasn’t pregnant so it’s a completely different situation.”

“How old were you?” he repeats.

“I had just turned twenty-three,” I admit.

“I’ll be twenty-three in February.”

“And my marriage to Doug worked out so well.” My tone is more bitter than I expect.

“I would never cheat on you. I would never lie to you. I’ll always love you with all my heart. I’ll be devoted to you and to our baby.” His gaze grows intense. “We can do this.”

I’m still not convinced. As Pollyanna as I’ve been in the past I know there are so many obstacles we need to face and I’m not sure love can overcome them all.

“Maybe you need to have a conversation with your parents first,” I suggest.

Even though he nods I can see he’s hesitant. Then he lets out a huge sigh. “I’ll go by there tonight and face the inevitable head on.” 

***

I
’ve been pacing for several hours waiting for Dante to call, text, or communicate in any way, but he hasn’t. I’m surprised I haven’t paced a hole in the floor.

Every time I pick up my phone I debate calling him, but I want to give him some space. He needs time to process everything as much as I do.

And he needs to deal with his parents. 

When it hits nine o’clock and I still haven’t heard a word I begin to panic.

What if Dante does take me up on my offer to let him off the hook? What if his parents convince him to abandon me?

Will I really be able to handle raising a baby alone?

Okay, maybe I won’t be completely alone. No doubt my sister will help out. And I know I’ll be able to count on Lucy to lend a hand. Andrew has already said he’ll support me as well.

But I won’t have Dante. When I walked into Claudia’s office two months ago and signed the contract for our arrangement I never imagined I’d end up falling for the guy who was paying me to be with him.

As much as I hate imagining a life without Dante I know deep down I’d survive. Not that I’d have a choice in the matter.

I’m exhausted. Physically, emotionally and mentally drained. So I make the decision to go to bed early.

I remember so vividly how claustrophobic I felt the first night Dante and I slept together. How he wanted me in his arms the entire night. Somehow I not only got used to being in his arms, but grew to enjoy it.

Now the bed feels empty without him.

Right before I turn out the light I make the decision to send him a quick text.

Me:
How are things going?

Waiting for a response seems like an eternity. Especially when I’m used to him texting me back right away.

A few minutes later I finally get a reply.

Dante:
I won’t be able to see you tonight
.

Me:
I figured that.

Dante:
Can I come by tomorrow evening?

Me:
See you then.

I force myself to eat a few crackers before I turn the lights out and doze off to sleep.

***

“G
uess what?” I ask my sister when she picks up the phone.

“I only have a few minutes,” she warns. “The girls have a recital tonight. How did you get out of attending?”