Satan, You Can't Have My Children: The Spiritual Warfare Guide for Every Parent (5 page)

A good father loves, affirms, and cares for his wife and his children.
Many women change drastically during their marriage. As a newlywed, the wife smiles, is warmhearted and kind, takes care of herself, and is probably fit. What happens with time?

Negligence brings drastic changes to the family. Both parents have a God-given responsibility to influence and be at the helm of their home. Each has a role to perform. When one neglects his or her duty, the couple begins to experience negative changes, and the children begin to suffer as they learn to absorb and imitate what they see. The solid foundation begins to crack, and the entire family suffers.

The husband and father who loves and cares for his wife and children will be the king of his home.
Some women, no matter how well they are treated by their husbands, rebel and are dissatisfied with everything. Often I see that the wife or husband does not want to let go of the parents. In other cases of family discords, the root of the problem is a manipulating and controlling mother-in-law. The Bible says that manipulation is equal to sorcery. There should be a healthy separation between the parents and the couple and a complete union between the couple. If you do not have this healthy separation, you need help. God created the wife to respect and help meet the needs of her husband, and the husband to protect, respect, and love his wife. We are men and women capable of loving with all our hearts, but we must choose to do so.

The father who treats his daughters with respect and tact will have
virtuous daughters who will become passionate and good-hearted wives.
The father who does not respect his daughter will have a rebellious daughter with a wounded selfesteem. There are millions of them looking for acceptance.

The rejection and carelessness of a father toward his daughter create unstable behavioral patterns for life.
When a daughter does not find love in her home, she will look elsewhere and will usually end up in the hands of someone with the same traits as her father and who will make her very unhappy.

The father who abuses his daughter is worse than a criminal.
Surveys prove that men who abuse their daughters or sons come from different and diverse backgrounds. The more strict, harsh, and legalistic the man has been in his own home and church life, the more likely he will be an abuser. God heals and will have mercy on any man or woman who has problems with abuse and asks for forgiveness and help. We have this problem not only in the secular world but also in our Christian churches. I’ve counseled with many victims, daughters of ministers of progressive and admirable churches and ministries. Many men need help—men who abuse their children and their wives. And now, many women need help—women who abuse their children and themselves.

Incest and molestation is very common in many Christian homes today. It’s surprising and troubling to hear of the great number of prostitutes and homosexuals who admit that they left their homes at a young age because of incest and repeated sexual abuse.

Abuse is now rampant. It used to be men who were known as the abusers, but in today’s society we are also hearing many news stories of women sexually or mentally abusing their own children. I personally have encountered this situation during counseling. I recently read in a magazine that a growing number of controlling and manipulative women mentally abuse their husbands. In reality, we need change and more information and training on this subject.

Fathers, please pay attention to the emotions and the thoughts of your children.
Do not put all of your attention on how they look, dress, or how they dye their hair, paint on tattoos, and use makeup. What’s in their hearts is what matters and what is important. Always guide your children toward God. Be a dynamic example, curious, good-humored, and always available for what they need, especially their emotional issues. You will be the person they are going to imitate. Teach them to confide in you, to be accountable, to make investments, to be good workers, to save money, how to put God above everything else, and to think big and positively.

What steps must be taken to improve family relationships?

1. The act of repentance before God and each other is the first step toward healing and change.

2. The second step is to join a group of believers who can bring guidance and accountability and promote discipline.

3. Making a commitment with your spouse and implementing a plan to change and walk in God’s love will be the third step toward the stability and happiness of your family.

Satan has big expectations and plans for your family, but you can change his plans and put into action all of God’s promises for your family. We all have to make choices. Some of them will be difficult choices.
The more sacrificial a choice, the more value it has and the more satisfaction it will produce to many generations.
Wow! That’s something to meditate on.

M
OTHERS
, B
E
V
IGILANT

Do not allow your daughters to run around the house half naked. Satan walks around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour and tempt. Do not enable your husband to be tempted by your negligence at home, especially if weeks and months go by and there’s no sex life between you. Our young daughters need to be taught early how to comport themselves at all times, never to sit right in the middle of Daddy’s lap, especially as they become toddlers and adolescents.

I was going to stop right here and continue with another topic, but let me say a few more important things.

God created woman as a delicate vase and wants her to be handled as such. I realize that many of you are being oppressed and mistreated. Personally, I watched for many years as my father victimized my mom. But I also watched as I saw my mother refuse to succumb to the attacks of the enemy through my father. She was never a victim. She was a victor. How did she do it? She stayed connected to her source: Jesus Christ. Her mind was always in prayer, even while she worked, cooked, and attended her family. She was thankful and kept a smile on her face. Was it difficult? Yes. I believe she maintained a 90 percent mental attitude and 10 percent physical.

Mom knew her position in Christ. She was unbeatable, because God sustained her. Today she is eighty-three years old, smiling, thankful, and prayerful.

What big picture do I see today among our young couples?
I see a complete disarray instead of what a Christian home should be.
Confusion and disorder reign in too many Christian homes.
I’m thinking of five young couples right now. A young wife is unhappy because her husband has to work overtime almost every day, and her food gets cold and dry before he comes home. Give me a break! Millions of men would love to have his job right now. Another wife feels insecure because she is gaining too much weight and her husband is starting to make wisecracks. I will put this situation under the title of
disorder
. We can do something about this. We are temples of the Holy Spirit, and we must rule over our bodies. Not only do we get out of control in our weight, but so do our children. Ah, this book is about “Satan, you can’t have my children” . . . not about food and marriage.
Confusion and disorder in our homes are the main reason why we have so many out-of-control children and young adults.
They enter their marriages without the necessary survival tools and godly examples for a successful and healthy marriage. Perhaps my next book will be on marriage, and I will be able to expound and give some great counsel that I received from Mom and my wonderful grandmother. And now I have my own wisdom developed through forty years of a great marriage and the knocks and triumphs of life.

Moms, at home we should be
gentle as a lamb
, manifesting the fruit of the Spirit tenderly, with love and positive words. Do not be negative. Do not shout or scream. Do not gossip or speak ill of others. Speak life and not death. Speak blessings. Speak your blessings out loud. Our children are watching and hearing. Never criticize, especially the church leaders. Our children will think they are all hypocrites, and as they grow older, they will want nothing to do with church.

Maintain the spiritual temperature at home at a pleasant level. Women set the pace at home. We are like thermostats. If it’s too hot or too cold, it will be uncomfortable. If we talk too much or nag and complain all the time, the temperature will be uncomfortable. Bless with words of encouragement. Pray in the Spirit. Think before speaking.

In the spirit, be “bold as a lion” (Prov. 28:1). Learn to pray, intercede, and wage war. Remain connected to the Holy Spirit.

Learn to recognize the danger signals: a bad-tempered, quiet, or serious spouse; a lazy, distracted, irate, unhappy, fearful, or rebellious child.

Learn to discern Satan’s tricks: bad decisions, bad investments, money wasted, and disputes.

Pray for discernment. Pray with power. Pray fervently. Pray without losing heart. Pray all the time. Tie your heart, mind, and emotions to God’s heart. Loose Satan’s power and influence in your life. Loose all curses and Satan’s plans for your family. Use your keys of binding and loosing.

Keep yourself constant, not cold or lukewarm. Be consistent and balanced. Activate your faith, creative talents, and gifts. Don’t try to get out of the fire, but learn to pass through the fire.

God promises to be with you in all situations and at all times. Cultivate good-hearted friends who do not gossip or speak ill of others.

Keep the flames of love and sex burning. Do not neglect your conjugal intimacy. Keep your bedroom clean, inviting, and sweet smelling. Plan your intimacy ahead of time; change rituals with special details. Study the Song of Solomon. Be innovative and creative. Learn to be an admirer. It may be a little hard at the beginning, but it will reap great benefits in your husband’s life and character as well as in your children’s. Look for something to admire and compliment in your husband:

“You are God’s gift to me and our children.”

“You have a great body.”

“You smell wonderful.”

“You make me feel special.”

And when he comes home smelling like an old dog and sweaty from work, tell him, “Honey, you smell good . . . you smell like money!” My husband really loved this one.

Although you don’t like doing it because you are not used to saying or giving compliments, the more you practice, the more you will reap the benefits and feel the emotions of an intimate relationship.

Do not say, “You should admire and compliment me.” One of us has to begin to change. You should start! The one that sows, reaps!

Take care of your body, health, and children. Learn to maintain a balanced diet. If you or your spouse needs to lose weight, I advise you to begin right away by not eating too much white bread, white rice, potatoes, or anything that contains white flour and sugar. Prepare a weekly menu of everything that you are planning on eating every day. Involve your family in the selection of dishes that they like. Balance your meals. Try to cook your food with vegetable or olive oil. Share your meal in a restaurant. Every three months, try doing a twenty-one-day Daniel fast. It’s really awesome.

If your husband demands biscuits and gravy to eat every day, continue preparing them for him, but make the changes for you and your children. Once you get fit, you will not need as many of the things that you stopped eating. You will have more energy and strength.

This advice is given from my personal experience. After a long illness, incurable by a doctor’s diagnosis, the only thing that helped me recover my strength was my confidence in the Word of God and a diet of the natural foods that God created for our health and sustenance. I stopped eating pork and fried foods and only ate cage-free chicken and wild fish three times a week. The restoration has been fabulous. A balanced diet and a life consecrated to God is the recipe for a healthy, peaceful, and harmonious life. God has created everything we need to be content and healthy.

Your children will grow strong and will imitate you for the rest of their lives!

CHAPTER THREE

ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOUR
CHILD IS MORE THAN A BODY

S
PIRITUALLY NURTURE THE SPIRIT OF YOUR CHILD

A
CHILD IS NOT
only a physical body but also a spirit being. Each one of us is a spirit. God is a Spirit. Jesus is a Spirit. The Holy Spirit is a Spirit. Satan is a spirit. Our spirit lives in a physical body.

Many Christians are not consciously aware that they are a spirit covered by a physical body. We feed our children, bathe them, dress them up, send them to school, and provide piano lessons, ballet classes, karate, and other sports. We take them to the dentist’s and doctor’s offices and so many other things that take care and nourish their bodies and intellect.

But what about their spiritual nourishment? Are we feeding their spirit being? It is our spirit being that needs knowledge, understanding, and guidance.