Savage Hero (12 page)

“I'm sorry for the resentments your people feel,” Mary Beth murmured. “I wish things hadn't happened to cause it, but there are greedy white men who behave toward your people just the same as Dancing Butterfly acted toward me. They do not see your people when they look at them. What they see is what they can steal
from
them . . . the land, the animals, the streams and rivers.”

“
Hecitu-yelo
, as it has been since that first bullet was fired upon my people,” Brave Wolf said sadly.

“Yet you still seek the peaceful ways with the white community,” Mary Beth marveled. She nodded a silent thank you when he gave her the
wooden tray of food. She took a piece of meat from it, then handed the tray back to him. “Will you still be this peaceful if the cavalry comes and . . . and . . . attacks your village?”

“I seek peace, but I have been appointed as chief to protect my people,” he said, taking a piece of cooked rabbit, then setting the tray between them. “I will do what I must to keep my people free of harm. Under normal circumstances, life for my people is such a simple one. You see, the Crow economy is based on the availability of game and edible foods. Both game and plant foods are abundant in the Crow country. Men are responsible for hunting game, women for curing it. Do you not see how easy it would be for my people to exist as they have for generations if whites would allow us the same existence as our ancestors?”

Mary Beth took a bite of meat, chewed and swallowed it, then turned her eyes back to Brave Wolf. “I understand what you are saying, but, Brave Wolf, you know that President Grant will be out for blood after what happened at the Battle of the Little Big Horn,” she said guardedly. “Although your clan played no role in the terrible battle, you could be accused of it.”

“I am friends with the Great White Father in Washington, so he will send an order to all forts here in Montana land
not
to include my people in his retaliation,” Brave Wolf said.

Yet in his heart he knew that at a time like this, the President might forget their friendship and see him as no different from any other Indian.

Brave Wolf would keep sending his prayers to the First Maker that what he feared would not come to pass.

He bit off a piece of meat and looked again at Mary Beth as she spoke.

“How did the council go today?” she asked, wanting to change the subject.

“My warriors listened well to what I had to say about Night Horse, and agreed to what I have done,” Brave Wolf said, looking sad as he gazed into the fire.

“Perhaps they agreed because he was once loved so much among your people,” Mary Beth said softly. She smiled when that brought Brave Wolf's eyes back to her. “How could he not have been the sort of man who would be loved? Is he not your brother? Was he not like you in many ways before he chose the wrong life path? You have spoken of how it was between you when you were growing up. You had such devotion to one another. Surely everyone saw and admired the same goodness in Night Horse as in you, his brother.”

“You are wise to see such a truth, because it was that way,” Brave Wolf said. “Everyone did admire my brother as I admired and loved him.”

“What happened to make him want a different life from yours when he grew into a man?” Mary Beth asked warily. She was afraid that she might be asking too many questions.

But it was so good to have this gentle time of camaraderie with Brave Wolf. It helped make her
forget how much she wanted him to hold her . . . to kiss her.

She ached for his touch and was weakening in her defenses. If he came to her even now and held her and again asked her if he could kiss her, she knew that she would not deny him.

The longer she was with him, the more she doubted she could follow the rules that forbade her from loving him. She had lost so much in her life . . . oh, Lord, she did not want to give up this wonderful man, too.

“What happened?” Brave Wolf repeated, sighing. “Night Horse saw the power of the white man's guns. He saw their riches. He saw the chance to have what whites had. Greed, greed for what he should not have wanted—that was why my brother became my enemy, for he
is
my enemy.”

Again he sighed. “My brother, the enemy,” he repeated, drawing his fingers through his hair in frustration. “How can . . . that . . . be?”

“In life there are so many things that make no sense,” Mary Beth said, her voice breaking. “My son. How can he have been taken from me? Where is he?”

Hearing her sorrow, her frustration, her sadness, Brave Wolf pushed the plate of meat away and moved to Mary Beth's side.

Without even considering being rejected again, he wrapped his arms around Mary Beth and brought her close to him.

Mary Beth melted in his arms. She nestled close.

“This feels so wonderful,” she murmured. “So right.”

Brave Wolf's heart soared at those words. His heart drummed inside him.

But he didn't dare spoil the moment by trying to kiss her again.

He would relish this moment, and hope to go further than a hug soon. For now, it was enough that she allowed his comforting arms around her. He was stunned, when a moment later, she pulled free of him again. Turning her back to him, she had her face in her hands and softly sobbed.

Believing that her reaction to their embrace had nothing to do with him, yet worrying about it and needing answers, he placed his hands on her shoulders and gently turned her. He framed her face between his hands and even more gently lifted it so that their eyes met.

He didn't question her with words. His eyes said it all.

“Please never think that my behavior is because of you,” she said through a blur of tears. “What I said earlier about your embrace feeling so right is truly how I feel, but . . .”

“But?” he asked softly.

“I feel so much guilt,” she gulped out.

“Guilt over having feelings for me, a red man?”

“No, oh no, please don't think that.”

“Then what causes this guilt?”

“I cannot stop thinking that if I had not left Kentucky, which is my home, my husband would still be alive,” she said, her voice breaking. “For certain
my son would not be in the hands of murderous renegades. I . . . made . . . the wrong decision. I can't stop thinking about it.”

“Do you believe, then, that you are making the wrong decision by allowing yourself to love Brave Wolf ?” he asked, his eyes searching hers.

“No,
no
,” she said, a new guilt grabbing at her . . . guilt over making him feel all the wrong things. “I . . . I . . . do love you. Oh, truly I do. I . . . adore . . . you.”

She was stunned that she had actually said it . . . that she had told him she loved him.

She was not a person to be so forward, especially with men.

She had truly known only one man . . . her husband.

But she felt such ease while with Brave Wolf, as though she could tell him everything.

His heart sang to realize his deepest hopes were true, that she did . . . she could . . . love him.

He had believed she did, but knew that those beliefs could have stemmed from wanting her to love him so badly.

“You say words that mean so much to me,” Brave Wolf replied. “I love you. I knew that I did almost the moment I saw you.”

“As did I, although I was afraid to admit it because I didn't dare trust you,” she murmured.

“But now you trust enough,” he said, drawing her closer, yet not fully into his arms.

“Yes, oh, yes,” she said, her heart throbbing, her knees weak with passion.

“Yet you always pull away from me when we embrace . . . when we are about to kiss,” he said, again searching her eyes.

“Only because I think I shouldn't be feeling these things for a man so soon after my husband's death . . . and when I don't even know the fate of my son,” she said, swallowing hard. “Now do you understand? Do you?”

“Yes, now I understand,” he said, then brushed kisses across her lips that made her feel faint with rapture.

He stepped away from her, yet still held her hands. “And because I do understand, I will wait for you to tell me when you are ready to follow your heart's desire. When you are ready, I shall give you such loving. . . .”

“I know,” she said, grateful that she was in love with a man who was not only handsome and gentle, but also so sweetly understanding. “I know that what we will share will be so beautiful. You . . . you are such a special man. Thank you, oh, thank you for loving me and for giving me the time I need to get past my guilt . . . my sadness.”

“Until then, we shall share in simple things, like talk, like teaching you the ways of the Crow, because I want you to be as one with my people when you become my wife.”

Her eyes widened. Her heart was filled with sweet, wondrous joy as she gazed lovingly up at him.

His wife?

Could it truly be?

Knowing he loved her so much made her feel less guilty already. She finally could see the promise of a happy future. . . . a future with him!

She's beautiful and therefore to be woo'd.
She is a woman, therefore to be won.

—Shakespeare

Several days had passed and still the warriors had not returned with word about David. Mary Beth feared the search had been unsuccessful.

But not all of the warriors were involved in the search for David. There were normal, everyday chores to be taken care of. Some men had gone hunting, returning with bucks slung across their horses' rumps.

Mary Beth was trying to prepare herself to accept the news Brave Wolf's men might bring back with them about David. Brave Wolf had told her this morning that he expected them to return either today or tomorrow.

“Do not give up hope that you will be reunited with your son, whether or not he is found by my warriors,” Brave Wolf said as he sat with Mary Beth beside the fire in his tepee.

A soft rain had just begun to fall from the gray heavens, the dampness making the day cold and uncomfortable outside.

But inside Brave Wolf's lodge, Mary Beth felt cozy and strangely at peace, even knowing that more than likely she might not be seeing her son today, or perhaps ever. Brave Wolf had such a way about him, he had made Mary Beth's guilt and hurt lessen day by day.

They shared such a wonderful love, how could she not feel the bliss that came from being with him?

The fact that he had not pressed her or even mentioned making love, although she knew that he hungered for it, proved the sort of man he was.

He was honorable in every way. He showed such respect for a woman.

When they did make love, ah, how sweet it would be.

“I can never give up on finding David, not until . . . until . . . proof of his death is brought to me,” Mary Beth murmured. She shuddered. “But I can't even think about that. I have to keep faith in the good Lord above that David is still alive, and that we will be reunited.”

She scooted closer to Brave Wolf, but not so close that she would get in the way of his arrow
making. She was learning new things every day from him.

Of course, as a woman she didn't really need to know how to make arrows. It was the man's job to keep his cache of weapons ready in case a threat came upon his people. But she wanted to learn everything she could about his way of life.

Since it was raining, the people were doing their chores inside their lodges now. If it wasn't raining, she would have sat with the women outside in the shade, learning either beading or how to decorate a cradleboard, which was used for carrying Indian babies.

She had even helped the women make pemmican. The women had dried a lot of thinly sliced meat strips. She had helped pound them into pemmican, which they mixed with buffalo-leg bone marrow and dried chokeberries. She had helped them roll this mixture into different-sized balls that they had then spread on a buckskin, and covered.

She was surprised that the women had accepted her among them so readily and she knew that Brave Wolf was responsible for their changed attitude. Surely he had met with them in private and explained his feelings toward Mary Beth, making it clear what he expected of them.

None showed resentment of her any longer, but she knew that surely many felt uncomfortable at her presence among them. She hoped that they would eventually care for her, for she was going to be a part of their lives forever.

She was going to marry their chief!

Yes! As unbelievable as it was to Mary Beth, she
was
going to have a future with Brave Wolf.

She was going to be his wife.

She thought further of the cradleboards. They were so lovely and sweet. Just thinking about having a child born of her and Brave Wolf's love made her insides glow. To give David a brother or sister would be something she knew her son would enjoy. He had often spoken of having a brother or sister.

Since Lloyd's army career had kept him away from her more than with her, it had been almost impossible for Mary Beth to provide David with a brother or sister.

And the problem wasn't only that Lloyd was gone for such long periods of time. Even when he was at home, she could almost count the times she and he had made love these past four years.

She had known long ago that Lloyd's love for her was more that of a brother than a husband, because even when he was home, he seemed more interested in reading books than making love.

That had came as a relief to Mary Beth, since she just enjoyed
being
with Lloyd, not making love to him.

Now she anxiously awaited the lovemaking with Brave Wolf, but she did hope he could be patient with her a while longer.

“I not only make my own arrows, but also my own bows,” Brave Wolf said as he saw her interest in what he was doing. As her eyes followed his
hands' movements, he explained, “My favorites are those made of two buffalo horns. I take a large horn and saw a slice off each side of it. These slices are then filed or rubbed down until the flat sides fit nicely together. They are then glued and wrapped at the ends.”