SAVAGE LOVE (A Back Down Devil MC Romance Novel) (26 page)

He nodded.

My fucking family.

twenty-two.

Ella could barely breathe. Every
time they had to stop at a light or stop sign she waited for something bad to
happen. Nothing did though. To the rest of the world they were just another
vehicle on the road cruising through Frelen.

Once they were out of town, Ella
felt a little better. Not much because this wasn
’
t
an escape plan. This was all temporary. What were they going to do? Hide out in
a cabin? For how long? Eventually it would have to all end. That meant maybe
Jerry dying. That meant maybe Miller dying. That meant
…

Me.
Beck.

She looked into her son
’
s eyes and refused to think it.
She couldn
’
t think it. That
wouldn
’
t be fair to him.
The baby did nothing wrong in all this. He didn
’
t
come knocking at the door.

Like Miller did.

The road twisted, turned, and then
started to climb. Miller turned off the road and started to climb up a ridge.
Truth be told, Ella had been so focused on Beck she couldn
’
t find her way back to Frelen if
someone paid her. That meant she really did trust Miller. Her life was in his
hands. Beck
’
s life was in
her hands.

Miller kept driving, slowing down
as the SUV crunched in the rocks under the tires. There was nothing but trees
for what seemed like forever. Ella had a notion to ask Miller if he knew where
he was going. But before she could find the guts to do so, the trees opened up
and there was a small cabin right there, smack dab in the middle of everything.

Miller turned the SUV around and
backed it alongside the cabin. His eyes met with Ella once.
“
So if we need to make a run, we
’
re facing the right way.
”

“
Who
knows about this place?
”
Ella asked.

“
Doesn
’
t matter. This is where we are
right now. Got it?
”

Ella nodded.

When she opened the door and
climbed out she was surprised how cool the air was. A chill shot through her
body. Then again, it made sense. They were at a higher elevation and the thick
canopy of trees made it so not much sun could reach the ground.

She hurried to grab Beck.

“
Come
on,
”
Miller said.
“
You get inside. Get the little
guy settled. I
’
ll grab the
rest of our stuff. Most of the day is already fucking passed by on us.
”

Miller led the way to the cabin. He
opened the door and went first. It wasn't any warmer in the cabin at all. If
anything, it felt cooler.

Miller turned on the lights and
rushed around, checking everything.

“
What
are you looking for?
”
Ella
asked.

“
Signs
of animals. We
’
re good.
”

There was a small fireplace along
with a few pieces of furniture. There was a poker table in the corner with
three of four chairs. The fourth chair was in pieces on the floor.

“
Blaine lost a hand,
”
Miller said.
“
He tried taking off Erik
’
s head but hit the wall with the
chair instead.
”

“
Lucky
for Erik.
”

“
Yeah,
right. Sit down. I
’
ll be
right back.
”

Miller disappeared and Ella felt
uneasy. She hated not being able to see him. She looked down at Beck and
smiled. Her heart was aching but it was so full. She really loved  him, Miller.
The night before shouldn
’
t
have been what it was. All those old feelings boiling over. They needed to get
it out though. That was the right thing to do.

When Miller returned, he had wood
in his arms. He quickly went to work and built a fire. No matter how much of an
outlaw asshole he was, Miller knew how to provide. That was for sure.

The fire caught and within minutes,
the cabin started to get a little more cozy.

Once Miller brought everything
inside, he came to the couch, carrying a beer and a cellphone.
“
I need to make a call. I
’
ll be right outside for a couple
minutes. Do not worry about a thing. Stay calm and let me handle everything.
”

Ella grabbed for Miller
’
s leather cut.
“
Thank you. For protecting us.
For taking care of Beck.
”

Miller nodded.
“
We
’
re
safe here.
”

“
I
’
m safe with you.
”

When Miller left, Ella decided to
feed Beck. As crazy as the morning and afternoon had gone, it was almost time
for Beck to go to sleep for the night. Ella had been up long before Miller had
gotten up. Hours before. She figured he was good and drunk when he came to bed,
touching, whispering to her with slurring words. And while his touch felt so
good, she didn
’
t know if he
had taken his frustrations out with another woman. Ella knew how the life went.
How the guys looked at some women for pleasure and other women for emotional
comfort. That was one thing she never wanted to do
…
to share. If she couldn
’
t be everything for Miller, then she
’
d be nothing.

Ella found the small bedroom and
sat on the corner of the bed. She offered her breast to Beck and he took it
right away. She looked around the room, wondering how many nights Miller spent
in here with a different woman. It made her insanely jealous to think about it but
she couldn
’
t help it. All
that time she spent trying to make the perfect life with Jerry
…
and Miller was out being the
outlaw his heart demanded him to be. Rising through the ranks and taking the
President
’
s patch. Battling
with local police, other crews and clubs.

It was all intense to think about
and really sexy.

By the time Ella finished feeding
Beck, Miller was off his phone call and in the kitchen making something to eat.

“
Nothing
gourmet, darling,
”
Miller
said.
“
Some grilled cheese
and burgers in a frying pan. I hope that works.
”

“
Sounds
perfect,
”
Ella said.
“
Maybe we can make up for our
ruined date.
”

Miller smirked.
“
I think that went well.
”

“
No
it didn
’
t. We have a lot to
talk about.
”

“
So
talk.
”

“
To
be blunt?
”
Ella said.
“
I want to know what happened
that night.
”

Miller nodded. He looked at Beck,
then Ella.
“
Let
’
s eat. Then put the little one
to bed.
”

“
I
’
m still mad at you,
”
Ella said and left the kitchen.

They ate in front of the fire. Beck
played on the floor, challenging himself to stand and take some steps, leaving
Ella panicking that he was going to get too close to the fire. Miller then sat
on the floor and Beck crawled right to him. Beck scaled the biker
’
s arms with a big smile. That
’
s when Ella realized that this
was the first time in a really long time a man was actually involved in Beck
’
s life. Even if it was just a
little while of playing and laughing.

“
We
’
ll have to get you a custom
tricycle soon,
”
Miller said
to Beck.
“
Some chrome
wheels. All black paint. A nice skull right on the front.
”

“
He
’
ll be the meanest kid on the
playground,
”
Ella said.

“
No,
he won
’
t be mean. He
’
ll be respected. There
’
s a difference, even if it doesn
’
t appear to be.
”

Beck then did something that left
Ella speechless for a second. The baby clutched at Miller
’
s leather and put his head on
Miller
’
s shoulder. He
tucked his face to Miller
’
s
neck.

“
Uh,
he wants to go to bed,
”
Ella whispered.

Miller put a hand to Beck
’
s back. It spread across Beck
’
s entire back. Slowly, Miller
rose up. He then walked around the cabin, holding the baby, protecting the
baby, making sure the baby was good and asleep. The entire time Ella just
watched in complete shock.

“
I
think he
’
s out for good,
”
Miller whispered.

“
Yeah,
he is. We don
’
t have a
crib.
”

“
Make
a bed back here near the room. Then when you go to sleep later, take him with
you.
”

When you go to sleep
…

What about you, Miller? Where
are you sleeping?

Ella made a bed for the baby.
Miller put Beck down and he was out for good.

Miller threw a log on the fire and
got a fresh beer. He then sat on the arm of the couch and looked at Ella.

“
What?
”
she asked.

“
Are
we doing this?
”

She nodded.
“
It needs to be done.
”

“
I
think we were set up to fail.
”

“
What
does that mean?
”
Ella
asked.

“
He
set up the entire thing. To manipulate me and you. So he could get you.
”

“
That
doesn
’
t make sense,
”
Ella said.
“
You would never do that.
”

“
You
kissed him.
”

“
He
kissed me. And you were there?
”

Miller nodded.
“
I saw it all. I was late.
Because I had been kidnapped.
”

“
What?
”
Ella asked. She jumped up on
the couch.

“
There
was a big fight going on. We had a crew pushing down from the north. They
wanted to get through us to make some gun deals. They wanted to negotiate us
running for them. I refused and talked the former President out of it. That
’
s why things got so bloody. It
was a rough time. I didn
’
t
want you involved or nervous. So I kept it all inside.
”

“
You
pushed me away.
”

“
Not
to mention I had Jerry in my ear. Telling how bad it was. Saying he was worried
about you. He wanted to work with the MC. But nothing came free. He wanted a
way in with you. I fought back and refused it. I had my own way of showing the
world wrong. That night at the rock. I had something for you.
”

“
What?
”
Ella
’
s heart raced.

“
Then
I saw you two.
”

“
You
never showed up,
”
Ella
said.
“
I knew nothing. I
was sitting there, Miller. Jerry showed up. He was trying to comfort me. I was
worried about you. Scared for you. I put my head on his shoulder as a friend
and then he started kissing me. Something happened, okay? I
’
m sorry. I kissed him back but
then pulled away. He told me you were going to end up dead anyway.
”

“
Fucking
prick.
”

“
Then
you told me the same thing.
”

Miller stood up.
“
I know. I had to get you to go
with him. I thought he could give you more than I could. The shit I
’
ve had to do
…”
Miller looked at Ella.
“
I killed a man right before our
date. Okay? And the night you showed up at the clubhouse? I had a knife to a
man
’
s throat. I was going
to cut his fucking head off.
”

“
I
know the life,
”
Ella
whispered.
“
I never cared
about that.
”

“
You
say that
…”

“
Goddammit,
Miller, I mean it. I
…
I
love you
…”

Miller stared at the fire.
“
Jerry told me there was a
meeting. I wanted to show some big balls so I tried to break it up. Instead, I
was ambushed. Shot in the shoulder. Stabbed three times. Tied to a chair and
beat up. They wanted to hold me as leverage to get into Frelen. I refused to
let anyone from the MC negotiate my release. The entire time I could only think
about you, Ella. I had to escape to get to you.
”
Miller shoved a hand into his pocket.
“
So
I stuck it out. I got a hand free and clawed at one of them. Ripped at the
fucker
’
s eyes. He spun and
knocked me back. That gave me enough to free my other hand. And then I fought.
I beat them within an inch of death.
”
Miller faced Ella.
“
And I
came to get you. The second I saw you and him together, it started to make
sense. The life you
’
d have
with him. Or with me. I bled everywhere, watching you. But I bled most of all
from my heart.
”