Authors: E. J. Squires
Tags: #romance, #scifi, #suspense, #young adult, #teen, #ya, #dystopian, #scifi action, #dystopian ya
“
We have to move on,”
Arthor says.
I dry my tears and somehow manage to push
the weak part of me aside. Looking up, I see another participant a
couple dozen feet above us. He, too, is using the ledges, but he
doesn’t have to share the small surface with anyone. From what I
can gather, we’re about halfway to the top—our method has worked.
But now, we have to come up with a better solution than to climb
together on the shrinking steps.
“
We have to split up.” I’m
not quite sure how to bring up the obvious dilemma of who will get
to go first, so I wait a moment, hoping he’ll suggest
something.
Arthor nods absentmindedly with his eyes
half-shut. I think he’s in so much pain and has lost so much blood
that any suggestion is welcome. “One of us will continue on, while
the other waits for the next wave of ledges to emerge.”
I should be the one to stay behind; I’m not
as wounded as he is. Yet, I can’t speak the words.
“
Just be careful,” he says,
his face taking on the color of snow, and then he reaches for and
steps onto the next ledge.
At first, I can’t believe it. What is he
doing? We hadn’t agreed on anything yet, and he just assumed he
would be the one to go first. Not that I think I should be the one,
but at least he should offer that to me. Shouldn’t he? Without
looking back, he continues onto the next ledge, and before I’m able
to say anything, I feel the ledge beneath my feet move. Quicker
than lightning, my heart instantly galloping, I find a couple of
grooves in the mountainside, and hook my fingers into them. Unable
to find any decent ridges for my feet, I just press them against
the mountainside as best I can. I have no idea how long it will be
until the ledge beneath my feet returns, but this I know: I will
hold on and make it all the way to the top just so I can give
Arthor a piece of my mind.
The groove between my eyes contracts as I
watch him climb the next few steps. His movements are hasty and
careless; he’s not taking enough time to prepare for the next step
before he leaps. It will indeed be a miracle if he doesn’t tumble
off the cliff. As for me, I’m stuck hanging until the next ledge
appears.
After a few minutes, my forearms start to
burn. It doesn’t take long before my fingers go numb, which really
worries me simply because numb fingers can’t hold onto anything. I
adjust my grip in the small crevice to try and relieve the
pressure, but it only helps for a few seconds.
Arthor looks down at me and yells, “They’re
getting smaller! A lot smaller! I don’t know about this,
Heidi…”
“
Arthor!” I yell, afraid
we’re being filmed or that some of the other participants climbing
the wall heard him. He must really be losing it to call out my name
so freely. Then a scary thought occurs to me: maybe he’s out to get
me and wants my secret to be discovered.
“
Oh…sorry!” he
hollers.
“
Just shut up, okay?” I
want to vanish into the rock this instant, fully expecting the
other participants climbing the wall to call me out, or for a
hovercraft to appear out of nowhere, beaming me into oblivion.
After waiting for a few minutes for something to happen, I start to
think maybe no one heard Arthor say my name and maybe no one’s
coming for me after all.
A drop of sweat rolls into my eye so it
stings. And then it starts to itch. When is the next step coming? I
could be hanging here until the morning when I’ll fry in the sun
and slowly die of dehydration. The gnawing feeling in my stomach
has been there a while—I’ve just ignored it—and I’m weak. A moment
of weakness could cause me to lose my grip or balance, and I would
tumble to the rocks below. My achy fingers have held on way longer
than I thought they were capable of and my right hand is cramping
something awful. I breathe through it—pant—but I have to face
reality: I just can’t hold on much longer. There’s no use in crying
for help, for what good will that do? I look up again and see
Arthor is at the top now. I should have been the one to go first.
If he were any bit of a friend, then he would have offered to stay
behind.
Trying to ease the cramp in my right hand, I
loosen the fingers just a tad. Unable to carry the majority of my
weight, my left hand slips. I drop toward the earth.
I have heard that some people have their
entire lives flash before their eyes right before they die, but
this does not what happens to me. Oddly enough, when I squeeze my
eyes shut, Mai’s face appears, and she smiles softly as if telling
me that everything will be okay. I believe her.
With a crash, my feet hit a hard surface.
Knife-like pain radiates up my legs. When I open my eyes, I see
that I’ve landed on a ledge. It wasn’t the ledge I was waiting
for—this one is farther down—but it’s a ledge! I hunch down, and
bring my clenched fists to my mouth, hyperventilating—wailing—tears
spilling out of my eyes. I’m not going to die; I’m going to live!
My mouth is dry, and my belly feels like it has been filled with
gasoline and set on fire.
“
Are you okay?” Arthor
bellows from above.
“
Yes,” I say, my voice
trembling as much as my hands. Focus, Heidi, focus! There’s no time
to sit here and cry. I need to continue on before this ledge
vanishes, too. Locating the next one, I jump onto it. Still
thoroughly shaken, I slowly make my way upward. Step by step, I
continue on, and the farther up I get, the more confident I feel
that I’ll make it. As I ascend, the steps grow smaller, like Arthor
said, and when I finally come to the last few ledges, they’re so
tiny that the balls of my feet barely fit. Fortunately, they’re
very close together so I can easily get from one to the next.
Stepping onto the last ledge, Arthor reaches his arm out to me and
helps me up to the top of the cliff—a flat, square surface void of
any vegetation.
Unable to contain my emotions, tears spring
out of my eyes and run down my cheeks. I collapse into Arthor’s
arms, and there’s nothing I can do to stop my emotions from coming
out in loud, ugly sobs.
Once I have calmed myself, I pull away and
brush the wetness from my cheeks. Glowering at Arthor, I shove him
in the chest so hard that he falls down.
“
What was that for?” he
asks.
“
You took advantage of me
down there!”
“
What do you
mean?”
“
Please—you went first and
left me there to die!”
“
But you nodded toward me.
I thought you meant for me to go first.”
I think back to our exchange down there.
“That’s ridiculous. I didn’t say anything! Besides, if you were a
true friend, you’d at least offer to let me go first!”
“
So what you said when we
were sitting in the lake…?”
I open my mouth to speak, but I have nothing
to say. Remembering how I actually had said that I would help him
if he needed it, I feel like a jerk. “Fine, whatever.” Not wanting
to remain on the subject, I step past him and walk to the other
side of the cliff, stopping about ten feet away from the drop off.
Behind me is the lake; in front of me is the ocean. I don’t dare to
look over the edge yet, but from where I’m standing, it looks to be
way higher than two hundred feet.
Now that the fog has lifted, I see how the
sun hangs low in the sky, hovering right above the surface of the
ocean. The sky is a deep blue, the water below black, and the
horizon golden. According to my father, the sun never sets during
the summer in the northernmost countries. I never actually believed
him until now. Looking to the right, I see a sign, and it says,
To complete Round 1 of the Savage Run
program, jump off the cliff and into the water below.
I thought I’d feel like a champion
completing all three rounds in the first phase, but now all I can
think about is that I have two more grueling phases to
complete.
“
Will you take a moment
with me?” Arthor sits down on the ground, reaches his hands behind
his head, and looks up into the sky.
His suggestion takes me completely off guard
and I wonder what he’s really suggesting here. And besides, how can
he be so casual about what happened? He didn’t even apologize for
leaving me behind or thank me for risking my life for him. I at
least thanked him when he helped me. Doesn’t he know that I nearly
died and that he was partially to blame for it?
Too tired to argue with him, I lie down and
glare up at the sky.
“
I have something I’ve
always wanted to tell you,” he says. “I feel like I could tell you
anything.”
I hold my breath. Oh, no. I hope he’s not
going to tell me he loves me or something. But then I catch
myself—what a ridiculous thought. If he cared about me in that way,
or in any way really, he wouldn’t have abandoned me the way he
did—all too eagerly. Even if he did think I gave him the nod to go
ahead.
“
But if I tell you this one
thing, will you share something with me, too?”
I hate confessions. Especially when they’re
forced out of me. I mean, I just completed three rounds of grueling
obstacles—more like torture—and he wants to talk about secrets?
“
Your deepest, darkest
secret.” He smiles at me.
Arthor must think he’s going to die in this
next leap and is why he wants to get something off his chest. I
look at him, his face pasty gray, his lips dry and colorless. My
chest aches for him. I look around to make sure none of the drones
are filming before I say, “Okay, I’ll do it.” To my surprise, it
only takes me a second to know exactly what I need to share.
Something that’s been on my mind for years. Something I’ve never
been able to speak out loud, not even to Gemma. And maybe, just
maybe, it might help lighten the burden I’ve been carrying for so
long.
“
You want to go first?” he
asks.
Of course he wants me to go first—now.
“Sure.” My heart’s a nervous wreck, hopping all over the place. Why
is this so hard to speak what’s on the inside? “Can I sit up and do
it?”
He chuckles a little. “Of course you can sit
up. You don’t have to ask.” We sit up and look over the side of the
platform we’re supposed to jump from. The water sways and the sun
reflects off the surface like an eternal flame.
“
Ready?” I say.
“
Yes.”
I inhale until my lungs feel like they’ll
burst, and then I speak. “Sometimes I’ve wished I was a man.”
Arthor is quiet for a minute before he
whispers, “You mean…like…you’re attracted to girls?”
“
No! What are you crazy?” I
punch him in the arm. It’s illegal to be gay in Newland, usually
punishable by death. “It’s just…” My voice lowers, just in case
someone is listening. ”It’s just so much easier for a man, you
know. They have so much more power…and control. Sometimes it just
sucks being a girl.”
“
I suppose you’re
right.”
“
Of course I’m right,” I
laugh a little.
“
So that’s the deepest,
darkest secret you have?”
“
It is. And the most
powerful one, too. Maybe it’s pathetic.”
“
No, not at
all.”
I hear footsteps behind us, and then
panting.
“
You guys ready to jump?” a
deep voice says.
I turn around and recognize the boy with the
white hair immediately. “Hey,” I say. “Cory, is it?” I’m surprised
he’s here so late in the competition—I thought for sure he would be
one of the first ones to finish.
Cory’s eyes narrow into slivers as he
scrutinizes me, and I can’t help but notice that his tree-trunk
sized neck is glistening with sweat. “Yeah. I remember you, too.
I’m sure everyone’s surprised you made it this far.”
“
Uh…yeah,” I say. He must
be referring to the poll from TV where I was voted the least likely
to survive. Or how everyone’s talking about me—I know they
are.
“
Seems you’re smarter than
most to pace yourself—especially when there’s no real time limit on
this phase.”
“
Sure.” I shrug my
shoulders. No harm in letting him think I was intentionally trying
to be slow. Then something unexpected happens. A small bubble of
excitement swells on the inside; I proved everyone
wrong.
Cory continues. “But seriously, don’t listen
to them. They want to put you in a box and keep you there.”
“
I’m Arthor.” He reaches
out his hand toward Cory.
Cory takes it, smiles and they shake.
“Pretty bad gash you got there.”
Arthor looks down at his leg. “I’ll
manage.”
“
Well, better be off so I
can be done with this. Wanna join me?” Cory asks.
“
We’ll be jumping in a
minute,” Arthor says, eyeing me.
Cory salutes us, runs toward the edge, and
hurls himself off the cliff.
I spring to my feet, rush over to the edge,
and watch as he plummets toward the blue ocean. My chest feels like
it contains a hundred bouncing crickets. When he hits the water,
white blooms around him and he vanishes beneath the waves. Will he
come back up? For every second that he remains gone, my breathing
becomes a little shallower. I wait longer. No one can stay under
water that long, can they? I scan the entire sea, but there are no
bodies anywhere. And no hovercrafts to disintegrate the floating
corpses. Most likely, Arthor and I are close to being the last ones
to jump, so surely some of the participants must have died. But
where did everyone go?
After waiting longer than I
deem any human could survive without a breath, I take a step back.
If
he
didn’t make
it, there’s no way I’ll survive the two-hundred foot
fall.