Save Me (13 page)

I wipe away the trail of tears falling down my face. Muffled voices above me let me know everyone is awake, and it’s only a matter of time before I hear EJ running up and down the stairs, wondering if I’m awake.

The only thing my dream and early morning recollection of Penny have done for me is remind me I need to be back in San Diego. Where she disappeared to starts from there, not here, and while I appreciate that Marley is here, I can’t stop searching for my wife and daughter.

And I want my bike. Not that I know where to find it, but I’m going to look in the last place I left it.

As my bare feet touch the plush carpet I resign myself to having to tell my friends I’m leaving. Of course, I’ll have to borrow money for a bus ticket, but they know I’ll pay them back when I can.

The laughter upstairs is warming. When I reach the top, no one stops talking and they carry on like I’ve been awake with them all morning instead of sitting in bed remembering my wife.

“Breakfast is in the oven. Do you want me to make you a plate?” Ryley asks from the dining room table where everyone is sitting.

“No thanks, I can do it.”

I make my plate and take a seat next to EJ who is patting the chair.

“Wanna play hide-n-seek?”

“Maybe later, buddy.” EJ shrugs as if it’s no big deal that I don’t want to play. I do, though, because I love spending time with him. In my mind, my time with him is preparing me for when I see Claire, although boys and girls are vastly different. Plus, she’s much older.

Once EJ is done with breakfast, Ryley excuses herself to go give him a bath, leaving the rest of us at the table.

Nate and Cara are talking about going to the cemetery to visit his dad’s grave, and Evan is talking about heading to the gun range to shoot some of his guns. He wants to make sure they’re working. Rask says he wants to go with Evan.

“I think I’m going to head back to Coronado,” I blurt out, interrupting their conversations. It grows quiet and eight eyes turn toward me. I feel like I’m on the stand and just confessed to a crime that I didn’t commit.

“Why?” It’s Nate who asks and not Evan like I suspected him to.

“Yeah why? I thought you hired a private investigator here?” Rask inquires.

“I did, but I feel like I should be doing something to find Penny and being here isn’t where I need to start.”

“Where will you look that you haven’t already?” This time it’s Cara asking, and her question gives me a small bit of confidence in my desire to return to California.

“When I came back I looked in only the obvious places—housing, parks—and the PI’s I hired there said they didn’t find anything at any of the schools in the area. They also said the highway patrol cameras weren’t working that night, but I don’t believe them.”

“Why not?” she asks, pulling out a notepad from behind her. It’s like all Federal agents have a supply of notebooks in their back pocket.

“It’s too convenient. Those cameras are always working, it’s how the state makes their money, and for them to be suddenly down when she’s leaving? I don’t buy it. Not anymore after learning what I have.

“Also, the more I think about the other PIs, I realize they only asked if Claire was in school or if there was someone matching her description.

“Don’t you think your PI is doing that now?” Cara questions.

“I’m sure she is, but there’s one thing I need to check.” I take a deep breath. “Every time I deployed, regardless of how long, Penny would have my motorcycle put into storage. She didn’t want it to fall on Claire if she was to get into the garage and she didn’t want it damaged. So I’d leave and she’d call a tow company to come get it and take it to storage.”

“Where’s your bike now?” Rask inquires.

“I don’t know. Honestly, I forgot about it until this morning. It’s the last thing on my mind, but I’m wondering who the storage owner sold it to because if Penny is gone, she isn’t making the payment, right?”

They all nod, but don’t say anything as Ryley walks in.

“Why so quiet?” She moves to stand next to Evan, placing her arms around him. “You guys look like you’ve seen a ghost … or three of them at least.” She laughs at her own bad joke.

“I’m talking about heading back to San Diego because there are some things I need to check out. Things I didn’t remember until this morning.”

“Okay, so why is everyone so glum about it?”

“Because, babe, it’s not safe and we can’t protect McCoy when he’s there.”

Throwing her hands up in the air, Ryley huffs. “Archer, yes I’m looking at you, too, Nate … you guys, come on. Tucker is a big boy and if he needs to go back to his home then you let him.”

“Thanks, Ryley.”

She sends a wink in my direction.

“But what about meeting with your PI?” Cara is the logical one. “She’s already uncovered things the others couldn’t, or wouldn’t. I’m sure she’ll have more.”

“I won’t be gone long. I just need to check out a few things that I didn’t before.”

“I’ll go with you. You can’t fly yet, but I can escort you on the plane. I’ll have to make a few calls, but it can be done.”

“I can take the bus,” I say to Cara. “I don’t want to take time from you and Nate.”

Cara brushes off my statement and gets up from the table.

“I’ll go, too. EJ and I haven’t seen my parents in a while, and I can do some wedding stuff down there.” Ryley’s words cause Evan to freeze. The Archer brothers are going to kill me.

“Ry—”

“Don’t, Archer.
If
, and that’s a big if, Frannie is there, which I doubt she is, I’ll be with Cara. EJ will be safe at my parents.”

He sighs, knowing he won’t win this battle with her.

“Okay, we’re all set,” Cara says when she comes back into the room. “Tucker McCoy, your under arrest.”

“For what?” I balk.

Cara shrugs. “Don’t know, but I thought it’d be funny to say that. Either way, you’re in my ‘custody’ although that doesn’t really mean anything since we just faked the documents.”

“Gotta love the government.” I’m trying not to laugh at the situation, but it’s funny. I can’t fly because the government doesn’t accept that I’m alive, but yet they let a Federal agent escort me on the plane. It’d be easier if they just gave me my driver’s license back.

THE REST OF MY day went on as if I never heard the name Ted Lawson. I focused on my tasks, greeted each customer, made the best sandwiches, and did it all with a smile. When Chloe’s classmate came in to get a milkshake while she waited for her dad to get off, I happily made it and listened to her talk about her day and what her and Chloe did during recess. Her chatterbox mouth and sweet smile reminded me why I did what I did—to save my daughter.

When Laura returned and the nighttime crew showed up, I hesitated at the counter, staring at the newspaper. I didn’t want to touch it for fear the dirtiness of Lawson would get on me and taint the life I’ve built, but I had thoughts of sitting in the courtroom during his trial so I could see his smug face as his verdict is read. But I won’t. I’ll never see him again and if I do, I’ll kill him.

My drive home is quick, which doesn’t allow me much time to decompress and gather my thoughts before I see Ray and Chloe. I have to keep a straight face, show that I’m solid so he doesn’t ask questions. Ray needs to see that I’m his doting wife despite how I’m feeling on the inside.

When I enter the house, the warm aroma of freshly baked bread surrounds me. The benefit of being married to a teacher is that he’s off before I am and can start dinner. It’s how we’ve always done things and I’m not complaining. Dinner was never my forte anyway.

“Dinner smells good,” I say as I step into the kitchen through the mudroom. One thing I had to learn when it comes to living in New England—there are extra doors and odd rooms. While most people enter through a front door, homes here have two and you use the one attached to the mudroom so you can take off your coat and shoes before you enter a home. It took me a long time to remember that.

“Hey, you.” Ray comes to greet me, taking my bag and setting it on the back of the chair. He gives me a soft kiss and I try to return it, but my feelings are muted right now. If he notices he doesn’t say anything.

“Dinner, which is pot roast, will be ready in about twenty minutes.”

“Okay, I’m going to go upstairs and check on Chloe.”

“Wait, before you go.” Ray reaches out and grasps my wrist, keeping me from leaving the kitchen. “I heard from Bob today. He said that Adam came in for lunch.”

Everything in me turns cold. Of course Adam is going to share with Bob, Ray’s friend, that I freaked out at the store today. We live in a very small town where word spreads fast.

“Yes, Adam comes in almost every day. Why would today be any different?”

“Oh I don’t know, Amy, because my wife blacked out and was unresponsive with a knife in her hand?”

I brush it off. “It wasn’t anything like that. I was listening to a story Adam was reading and got lost in thought.”

Ray nods, but I can tell he’s not convinced. I pull my arm out of his grasp and head toward the stairs to see Chloe.

“Amy,” he calls when my foot is on the first step. I can pretend I don’t hear him or I can answer him. I hesitate too long because he’s now in the doorway looking at me.

I smile sweetly. “Yes, Ray?”

“What was the story?”

“I’m sorry?”

“The story that had you so consumed you blacked out—what was it?”

I shake my head. “I don’t remember.” The lie falls easily from my lips. It’s been years since I’ve lied to him and I hate how I can fall back into the pattern so easily.

“You don’t remember?”

I shake my head. “I blacked out, remember?” With that I continue my trek upstairs and into my daughter’s room. I realize once the words are out of my mouth that I’ve slipped. I’ve admitted that I blacked out today and knowing Ray, he’s not going to let it go.

I stand in her doorway, resting against the jamb. She has headphones on while she’s doing her homework and her head bobs up and down. The mirror on her wall shows me her reflection. She looks up and sees me, giving me a radiant smile that reminds me of her father. Someday I’m going to sit her down and tell her about him, but not now. Ray doesn’t even know, and I’d really like to keep it to myself for now.

“Hi, Mom. How was your day?”

“It was good.” I step into her room and shut the door, something I rarely do. We’re big on having open doors around here as long as everyone is awake and dressed. I like to sit at the bottom of the stairs and hear her moving around. I wouldn’t be able to do that behind a closed door.

“How was yours?” I ask, sitting on her bed.

“It was good. I have a test in history that I’m studying for.” I can’t help but laugh as she rolls her eyes.

“Has he ever failed you?” I can’t bring myself to ask if her dad has failed her. Ray isn’t her dad, but he’s all she’s ever known. Her father would’ve never failed her, not in life or anything else. He was smitten with her from the day she was born.

“No, but Dad holds me to a higher standard than the other students.”

Of course he does
. But I don’t say it out loud. I can’t speak ill of Ray; he’s a good man and saved me from myself.

“Are you okay, Mom?”