Save Me (18 page)

Chapter T
hirty-Two

Kai

I walked out of the bathroom and my eyes instantly fell on Tegan – like fucking always. She looked stunning – like fucking always. I couldn’t believe she was self-conscious about how she looked. But I knew what it was like to be so broken you didn’t feel there was anything good about yourself anymore.

She looked up a
nd smiled.
Yeah, just friends isn’t enough.

I walked over and pulled her into my arms, giving her a friendly hug, just as I’d done with Holly. Her petite body pressed against mine and I wan
ted to groan. I didn’t get to touch her nearly as much as I wanted to or where I
really
wanted to.

Lucas look
ed less than pleased that I’d given her a hug. It lasted a second and he was the one that got to take her to bed – he could sit the fuck down!

He had no idea how
bloody lucky he was. Although I knew she liked him – and she thought she loved him – he wasn’t good for her. He didn’t understand how lost and angry she was right now. Hell, Tegan barely understood it. I’d wanted to ask her out, properly, about two seconds after meeting her but I knew straight away how broken she was. I could see it in her empty green eyes, feel it in the way she forced a smile on her face.

I’d been there and I knew distractions were the
only way you coped and no one could fix you but yourself. If I’d steamed in there like him and tried to make everything better I’d have doomed us from the start.

She clearly wasn’t ready to deal with it yet and Lucas trying to ‘help’ her do it w
as only going to screw him over in the long run. He had her now but I’d rather have her forever.

Ava and Jake had sat down either side of Lucas on the bench. I wasn’t sure if they were picking sides but if they were they’d just made a big mistake – the only place for Tegan was now next to me.

“I’m starting sixth form on the Monday after the break,” she said.

“Yeah? That’s great.”

Step one: do normal shit you used to.

“Thanks.”

I leant closer and whispered in her ear, “So do you have to wear a uniform?”

“You pervert!” she yelled in a whisper.

I laughed. “I’m joking.” Not really. “What’re you studying then?”

“English
Lit, Sociology and Music,” she replied, lowering her voice when she said music.

“You want to do something in music? Gonna join a rock band?”

She looked up and the stress evaporated from around her eyes. “I think so, not the rock band thing. I used to want to spend my whole life playing the piano but I’m not sure now.”

“You suck now?”

I could feel Tegan’s followers glaring at the side of my head but I didn’t give them the satisfaction of looking up.

“Yep, I’m awful. Forgot all the keys and everything.”

“Hey, you could always be a backup dancer.”

“And if that fails there’s always stripping, right?”

I shrugged one shoulder. “It’s a wonderful art.”

“Tegan plays the piano beautifully,” Ava said. “I don’t see any sort of dancing
in her future.”

“Bit judgy, Ava,”
Tegan said, thankfully before I could say something similar but a lot less diplomatically. My aunt used to be a dancer before she broke her leg badly, now she taught it. I did not like people talking or thinking shit of my family.

“Oh
, I’m not saying it’s beneath you, Tegan, so calm down. You just don’t need a back-up plan.”

She’d already moved to plan B. She did that the second her dad died. It was up to her if she wanted to scrap that and go for what she really wanted again.

Tegan gave her sister a tight smile and turned her attention back to me. “I’m not sure what I’ll do yet but I have plenty of time to figure it out.”

“Yeah, you’re not that old yet.” She wasn’t that old at all and that was still a little bit of an issue for me. I wished she was eighteen, even though she was perfectly legal when we were
shagging like bunnies. I’d just feel better about it if she had been officially an adult.

After an hour it was clear that
she was serious about cutting down on the alcohol, instead of downing her drinks she had one or two alcoholic ones and water or coke between.

We’d stayed
in the same place on the bench, talking most of the time. I didn’t care that Lucas barely took his eyes off her or that Ava gave me the occasional dirty look. I wasn’t exactly sure what they thought could happen if they didn’t watch us like a hawk, at the same table as them, but it was fairly amusing.

I grabbed her phone off and
scrolled to the settings. “What are you doing?” she asked, leaning over and trying to see.

“Setting a ring tone for me.” Her eyebrows pulled together in confusion. “Bruno Mars,” I said, smiling.
I might’ve well written
Just the Way You Are
myself. I was more a rock guy, I needed drums, bass and guitar and for the band to have sat down to write the material and music themselves, but I didn’t mind Bruno Mars. No matter how messed up and confused she was, no matter what mistakes she made, to me, she
was
perfect. I saw past it all.

She smirked. “Shouldn’t that be your ring tone for me?”

“Nope, I already have one for you.”

“Do I want to know?” she asked cautiously.

“Probably not.” I laughed. “It’s Kings of Leon,
Sex On Fire
.” Her mouth hung open. With a wink, I got up to get a round in.

Before I got inside I saw Tegan move to sit on Lucas’
s lap. Turning away quickly, I swallowed acid and tried to ignore the aching in my chest. Fuck, that hurt.

Chapter T
hirty-Three

Tegan

Lucas, Jake and Ava climbed in the car, waiting for me to finish saying goodbye to everyone. I was sober, which I was quite proud of. I knew I drank too much and wanted to stop doing it. At least I mostly wanted to stop.

Kai
, however, was very drunk. He stumbled as he tried to prove to us that he could still walk in a straight line. Apparently, his straight line had rounded corners. James put his arm around him, practically carrying him to the car. “Princess,” he slurred, throwing his other arm around my neck.

I
laughed. “You’re so wasted, Kai.”

“No
. No, no, I’m not.” He stopped abruptly, making me and James stop, too.

“Okay, g
et in,” I said, shoving him towards the car.

“You coming with me?” h
e asked, wiggling his eyebrows. I shook my head, laughing at how pissed he was and gave him another shove. He grabbed me as he fell backwards and we both ended up halfway in the back of the car.

“Man, you’re a bad drunk,” I said, laughing and taking James’
s hand as he helped me up. Kai laid on the backseat with his butt and legs hanging out.

“
I think I might be drunk.”

“
Oh, really?” I rolled my eyes as James grabbed Kai’s legs and pushed him in the car.

Don’t sleep on your back,” I
called and slammed the door shut. “Good luck,” I said, smiling at James.

He chuckled and hugged me
. “I’ll need that luck.”

Yeah, he really would.

I waved goodbye to Holly and James before jumping in the back of Jake’s car. “I’m tired, Luke.” I yawned.

He wrapped his arm
around me and kissed the top of my head. “Sleep then, I’ll carry you to bed.”

I liked the sound of that,
even though I wouldn’t be able to sleep in a car. Maybe I could pretend to get him in my room and then convince him to stay.

Mum had gone to
bed by the time we all got home. I waited for Ava and Jake to go before dragging Lucas up to my room.

“Clothes off
, Luke.” His face lit up and he was naked in seconds. I giggled and pushed him down on my bed. Sober me didn’t really take charge all that much but I wanted to this time. I smiled and climbed on top of him, kissing him hard and dragging my fingers across his chest.

Lucas was gone when I woke up again, it drove me crazy. I threw on some clean underwear, jeans and a t-shirt and went down to find him. I called Kai on the way to see how he was feeling. With a bit of luck I’d wake him up.

Groaning down the phone, he muttered, “What?”

“Good morning,” I sang loudly.

He groaned
deeper. “Shhh. Fuck, Tegan, it’s too early for this.”

I walked into the kitc
hen where everyone was sitting, watching me. I smiled at Luke. “It’s almost eleven. How’s the head?”

“
I hate it. I hate my head.”

Laughing, I said,
“You know, you’re quite funny when you’re hung over.”

“Well
, I’m glad my slow and painful death is so amusing.”

“Self-inflicted
, Kai.”

“Come make me some bacon sandwiches,” he
said. I could almost see him pouting and widening those big chocolate eyes.

“
Yeah, I think you should sleep more. I’ll come over later and make sure you’re okay.”

“
Alright, wake me up with bacon.”

“Okay. Don’t sleep on your back,” I said
, grinning.

“
Fuck off,” he replied and hung up.

That went better than I thought. It wasn’t often, or at all really, that he was the drunk one of us two.

I walked over to the table and sat down next to Lucas. It’d been a while since I’d been out and not got wasted and it felt nice not to have a fuzzy head.

Mum made bagels
, egg and bacon for breakfast. My mouth watered. I wasn’t sure if it was just a fluke or because I hadn’t been drunk last night but I felt more positive today. Luke was taking me out somewhere and things were just looking up.

“I’m ready,” I
said as I reached the bottom of the stairs after putting a little make-up on.

“
Hey, you look beautiful.” He leant down and kissed me, making my heart race. “Let’s go.” He grabbed my hand and led me to Jake’s car. I looked over at him and fluttered my eyelashes. “I’m not telling you, shorty.”

Damn it.

We drove for about thirty minutes and after what must’ve been about thirty guesses I gave up. I’d probably said it already and he’d just told me no anyway. Finally, he pulled up next to a huge, perfectly manicured park.

It was absolutely beautiful, there were tall trees surrounding it and a stone pathway. In the middle was a large pond and seating area. At the side was a wooden play area.
I was too busy looking around that I didn’t notice Lucas had opened my door

I got out and said, “
It’s beautiful, Luke.”

“
It’s okay. You’re beautiful.”

I rolled my eyes.
“Where did you get that one from?”

“Come on, that’s one of my best lines
,” he joked and kissed my forehead. “Is it working, though?”

He didn’t need lines or romance. I wasn’t the most
romantic person and honestly, would just prefer him to tell me I was getting lucky tonight but I loved that he wanted to be sweet and do nice things for me.

“It all works, Luke,” I said, standing on my toes to kiss him. We walked along the side of the park a little awkwardly as I held on around his waist. I felt, almost, like a different person
but I didn’t want to get too happy about it because I wasn’t sure what I was doing to change. I wasn’t naïve enough to believe that all was going to be great from here.

Lucas seemed to know exactly where he was going, he led us th
rough a rosebush archway and I stood still. There was a gorgeous tall white horse with a grey stripe down its head. Behind it was a wooden carriage.

“Seriously?” I said. Okay, perhaps I liked a bit of romance.

“Do you want to go for a ride?”

“
Of course I do! This is amazing!” He smiled wide, melting my heart. I think I fell in love with him a bit more.

We climbed in the
carriage and Lucas put his arm around me. “How did you find out about this place?”

“We used to come here as kids, the horse and carriage visit some weekends. This is one of those weekends.”

“Thank you,” I whispered and attacked his lips. I didn’t care that there was a man sitting about a meter away or that there were probably children around. He didn’t seem to either. Luke nipped my bottom lip and I felt like I was going to combust. I wanted him.

He pulled back, having considerably more self-control than me. He took a deep breath and stroked my cheek. “I’m supposed to do all this shit. What’re you thanking me for?”

I wasn’t sure if he lost or gained points for calling romantic stuff ‘all this shit’.

“
I mean for everything, Luke. If it wasn’t for you I would still be going out and getting drunk every night and arguing with Mum and Ava.” That was half true. I did still drink, a
lot
less, but I did get drunk and I still fought with Mum and Ava. Lucas couldn’t fix everything though, and I didn’t expect him to. I was trying to figure out how to do that for myself with his support.

“
I’ll always be here for you,” he murmured against my lips, kissing me again. I didn’t believe that. At the end of the day everyone was alone, no one was going to be with you forever, you just had to enjoy the time while you had it.

“We need to get back soon, I have to leave at four,” Lucas said, after we’d eaten by the pond and had a long walk around the park.

“I hate the part where you leave.”

“Yeah, me, too. I’ll be back over on Friday, though.”

We
got back to mine and Lucas had to pack his things to leave. I sat on the sofa bed, pouting. We were still sort of in that hands-all-over-each-other – when family wasn’t around – so saying goodbye, especially for a week, was hard.

He smirked. “I love that you don’t want me to go.”

“But you have to. I’m not going to go downstairs to say bye.”

Nodding, he zipped up his bag and scooped me into his arms. “I love you.”

I kissed him. “I love you, too.”

He shuffled and I let him go. “I’ll see you Friday.” Bending down, he kissed my forehead and I watched him leave.

I waited to hear them drive off before going downstairs. “Ava,” I said when I heard Mum’s en-suite shower. “Can you give me a lift to Kai’s?”

“Now?” she asked, frowning.

“Please?”

“Okay.”

I ignored her disapproving gaze and got in her car. “Is this a good idea?” she asked, pulling out of the drive.

Fucking hell. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Lucas
just
left.”

“Okay, what do you think I’m doing with Kai?”

She shrugged the arm that was holding the gear stick. “I have no idea. Do you?”

“Yeah, actually. What’s your problem with him?”

“I have no problem with him but I think you’re playing a dangerous game. Even worse, you don’t seem to be able to see it.”

“I’m aware of how it may look
, but the people who know me know that I wouldn’t cheat and I don’t ditch friends for a boyfriend.”

She said nothing more but she didn’t need to. Her dark green eyes watched me, judging the entire time.

“Thanks, Aves,” I said as we pulled up outside his house.

“
No problem,” she replied with a fake smile.

I
got out as soon as I could and didn’t look back. I knocked on the door and waited. “Kai,” I shouted, knocking harder. If he was still asleep…

The door opened slowly. “Princess,” he mumbled, squinting his eyes.
Wow, he looked rough. His black hair was beyond sexy bed hair and his eyes were glazed over and tired.

“
Ooh, you don’t look good,” I said, laughing as I walked past him.

“Thanks,” he replied sarcastically
. I watched with amusement as he flopped down on the sofa and closed his eyes.

“Have you eaten
anything?”

H
e mumbled something I couldn’t understand and shook his head. “I’ll make you bacon sandwiches then.”

Looking after him was weird. At least I got to pay back a small amount of what he’d done for me.

Groaning and rubbing his temples, he replied, “You’re the best.”

I made him drink a whole glass of water and take some painkillers before he ate
. Six bacon sandwiches and a cup of strong coffee should sort him out.

Kai inhaled his food. “Thanks for coming over.”

“No problem. You’ve done it enough times for me.”

“Yes
, I have. Pisshead.”

“Don’t get too cocky or I’ll start talking louder.” My voice got progressively louder towards the end of the sentence
and I laughed when he winced.

“Why did you get so drunk then?”

He shrugged. “I honestly don’t know now.”

That wasn’t exactly what I meant and I think he knew it. There was a reason why he’d gone overboard but he didn’t want to share. I knew how that felt so I didn’t push him for a real answer.

He leant to the side, resting his head on top of mine. “Wake me in a week,” he said.

“Christ, am I as difficult as you?”

Barking a laugh, he replied, “Princess, you’re in a whole different league.”