Saved by Venom: 3 (Grabbed) (14 page)

He blinked with surprise. “Sugar, you
are
strong. You survived a terrorist bombing. You had your neck ripped open by shrapnel but you fought like hell to live. Then after your mother died and your father lost everything, you didn’t curl up in a ball and cry. No, you struck out on your own and made a go of it a world where very few women are independent or have careers.” He brushed her bangs away from her face. “Don’t you see how strong you are?”

“I don’t feel very strong right now.” Dizzy rested her hands on his shoulders. “I feel colossally stupid. Torment was right. I look nothing like my father. Everyone always commented on my hair but I never thought…”

As her voice trailed off Venom kissed her cheek. “I know, sweetheart. I know this is hard for you to accept.”

“I don’t think I do accept it yet.” She ran her hands along his shoulders. “How am I supposed to believe that you’re telling me the truth about the blood tests when that means that the two people I loved the most and trusted to tell me the truth were lying to me from the day I was born?”

“This is why I wanted to wait to tell you after we’d built more trust between us.”

“I don’t think my reaction would have been much different, Venom.” She pinched the collar of his uniform shirt between her index finger and thumb. The desperate need to speak to her mother overwhelmed Dizzy. There were so many questions that needed answers. “Why didn’t she tell me the truth?”

Venom didn’t answer immediately. “She probably thought she was protecting you in some way. It couldn’t have been easy for her to face a future as an unmarried mother. When you were born, the relations between our two races weren’t nearly as friendly as they are today. She must have had her reasons.”

“And my dad?” She refused to think of him as anything else. Blood or not, he’d raised and loved her from birth. “I can only imagine what you must think of him, especially after all that nonsense about the loan shark, but he wasn’t always like this. I swear, Venom.”

“You don’t have to convince me of anything, Dizzy.”

She doubted that was true. She’d seen the disgusted look on Venom’s face when she’d revealed the details about Fat Pete and the black market dealings. She hated that her father’s gambling was out of control and that it had put her in danger, but she’d never doubted for one second that he loved her.

Until now.

“Sometimes…sometimes,” she continued after a slow breath, “when my dad looked at me after the bombing, he had this strange sadness in his eyes. Sometimes it looked like anger. Do you think…I mean…was he thinking that I wasn’t his and he didn’t want to be saddled with me anymore? I used to think that he was angry I had survived instead of my mother—”

“Stop.” Venom silenced her by placing his fingertip to her lips. “Don’t do this to yourself. Speculating is just going to make you hurt more.” He caressed the span of skin just above the bridal collar she wore. “I don’t know that it’s possible but I’ll try to find a way for you to communicate with your father. He may be on the restricted list because of his current occupation. If he’s not I’ll call in some favors. You need to speak to him face-to-face.”

The pain in her chest eased. “You’d do that for me?”

“I don’t want this hanging over you for the rest of your life. You need answers. I promise you I’ll do everything in my power to get them.”

Suddenly all the crazy emotions she had been feeling bubbled to the surface. Venom’s kindness and affection was the very last straw. Once again he had stunned her with the lengths he was willing to go for her. He was proving to be exactly the kind of man she had always wanted. She refused to believe any man could be this good and this gentle but Venom seemed intent on proving her wrong.

Loud, ugly sobs erupted from her throat. The last twenty-four hours had been among the most jarring of her life and she just couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. Venom whispered sweetly and gathered her to his chest before stepping away from the wall where he’d been bracing her body and carrying her farther into his home.

A few seconds later, he sat down on a couch. Holding her even tighter, he cradled her on his lap and let her have a good cry. His strong arms felt so good wrapped around her shaking body. She tucked her face against his neck and inhaled the comforting male scent of him. His hand swept up and down her back as she wept, the sobs growing softer and more spaced apart.

“I’m sorry,” she said when her pathetic crying jag finally ended. Wiping at her face, she refused to meet his intense gaze until he cupped her chin and made her look at him. What she saw reflected in his bright-blue eyes stole her breath.

“Never apologize for feeling something, especially when it’s this raw and this real.” He swiped his thumb across her wet cheek. “We haven’t had a chance to discuss the Harcos way of lovemaking yet but there will be times when we’re together where you will feel emotionally exposed and vulnerable. I have to know that you’re being honest with me and showing me everything so I can properly guide you through these experiences and protect you from harm.”

She gulped at his description of being exposed and vulnerable. “Is this where you tell me about that master thing?”

He held her gaze for a long moment before exhaling long and slow. “No.” His lips touched her forehead. “This is where I help you clean up your face and then make you breakfast.”

“And then?”

He traced her lower lip. “And then I’m going to show you what being your master means.”

A sizzling arc reverberated through her belly. “Maybe we could skip breakfast and get right to the good part?”

Venom’s sinfully sexy smile made her thighs clench together. “Not this morning, sugar. You’re going to need your strength.”

Oh. My. God.
She trembled to think what sort of decadently intimate things Venom had in store for her.

Tugging his uniform shirt out of his pants, Venom used the bottom of his soft undershirt to clean the wet streaks from her face. “Now—tell me how you feel about eggs.” His mouth curved in a teasing grin. “Does that cross the line for you?”

She didn’t take offense to his playful remark. “I love a nice fluffy omelet.”

“Good.” He gently shifted her off his lap and helped her stand. “I’ll give you a tour of our home and then I’ll make you breakfast.”

He bent down and captured her mouth with one of those toe-curling kisses he was so damn good at. As Venom towed her along behind him to view the kitchen, she wondered if her heart was going to beat right out of her chest. “Then we’ll make this union of ours official.”

Venom sat on the edge of the bed and waited for Dizzy to emerge from the bathroom. He’d already stripped down to his boxer briefs. His palms rested on his bare knees as he tried to rein in his sprinting heart rate with steady, controlled breaths. In his many years as a sniper, he’d learned to manage the adrenaline rush of battle to ensure his shots were always perfect the first time.

But this? Waiting for his new mate to come to him so he could claim her? None of his old tricks were working.

His fingers trembled against his thighs as he slid his sweaty palms up and down his legs. His blood pressure spiked when he considered all the different options he might employ to show Dizzy what he was capable of as her new husband and lover. More than anything, he wanted to reassure her that she could trust him in an intimate setting like this.

He let loose a rough snort at the realization that this petite beauty with her big brown eyes and pouty lips had him more riled up and out of control than a horde of Splinters rushing the Sendarian gates. The nervousness rippling through his gut stemmed from his desperate need to make her first time perfect. Well—as perfect as it could be. When it came to sex, perfect wasn’t a possibility. Without a doubt, something would go wrong.

But he could damn sure make certain Dizzy enjoyed the hell out of their first tumble in the sheets. There might be a little discomfort for her but he’d make sure she experienced true pleasure at least three or four times.

He was still mulling over how many orgasms she might like when the bathroom door opened. His heart leapt into his throat. He swallowed hard at the sight of Dizzy in a soft pale-pink nightgown. It was a vast improvement over the rather ugly hospital gown she’d been forced to wear last night—but it made her look so incredibly innocent.

Guilt speared him. She had waited to be with a man of her choosing—and now he’d taken her from her planet and dragged her into his world where she was classified as his property and expected to give him healthy babies, preferably sons, to fill the ranks. What was she feeling right now? Dread? Resentment? Disappointment?

He was reminded of Torment’s remark about the brides being little better than prisoners of the men who Grabbed them. His gut soured at the very idea of Dizzy considering him her warden. His nature and upbringing drove him toward dominance but that didn’t mean he had the right to dictate the moment she would surrender her innocence.

His anxiety levels skyrocketed. Had he overstepped the line? Was he rushing this? Was he rushing her?

She hesitantly stepped out into the bedroom. Her eyes widened at the sight of him nearly naked. He silently cursed his decision to strip down to his boxers. Should he have stayed in his pants and shirt? Would she have been more comfortable?

She took a couple of small steps toward him but didn’t get close enough for him to reach out and touch her. He held perfectly still as she assessed the situation. Her gaze roamed his body before jumping to the large bed and then back to him. Wringing her hands, she asked, “Do I get on the bed now or…?”

He held out his hand. “Come here.”

She clasped his fingers and allowed him to drag her between his widened knees. Placing his hands on her slim hips, he stared into the dark irises that had ensnared him the moment he’d dragged her onto his lap out in the snow. Leaning forward, he dotted kisses along the neckline of her nightdress. “I said I would show you what being your master means but there are many ways for me to do that without making love to you.”

She swallowed and the white bride’s collar encircling her neck moved up and down. “There are?”

“Yes.” Was that a hint of disappointment in her voice? “We need to discuss what mastering means in my culture first.”

Her hands drifted to his shoulders. “I’m really hoping it doesn’t have the same slave connotation it has back on my world.”

“No.” He decided not to tell her that there were some couples, especially back on Prime where pureblood marriages were still very common, whose mates embraced relationships with complete exchanges of power. There was no point in scaring her when such an arrangement had no chance of ever happening within their mate bond. He wasn’t that kind of man.

“That’s good to hear.”

He let his hand glide from her hip to her belly and then up toward her breasts. Cupping her hot flesh through the thin fabric, he brushed his thumb over her nipple. Almost immediately the little nub tightened to a stiff peak. Her body’s reaction to his touch pleased Venom immensely.

“In our world, a master has the same meaning as husband does in yours. When we talk about mastering our mates, we’re talking about creating a deep and unbreakable bond.” He traced the hard peak of her nipple through the fabric. “It’s about trust and respect.”

“What about love?” She asked the question in a nervous rush of a whisper.

He moved his hand to her face, running his thumb across her bottom lip and brushing his fingertips along the patch of skin just in front of her ear. “I’ve never been in love.”

“Neither have I.” Dizzy reached up and laid her hand against his. “But something tells me you’re going to change that.”

His heart skipped a few beats. “I hope so, sugar.”

Her sweet smile warmed his heart. She glanced over his shoulder and her brow furrowed. “Venom, where does that door lead?”

He didn’t have to look back to see what door she meant. It was the only one he’d purposely avoided showing her during the earlier tour of their quarters. Deciding now was as good a time as any to have
that
discussion, he stated, “It leads to our playroom.”

“Our what?”

“It will be easier if I show you.” He stood and captured her hand. She matched his steps as they crossed the bedroom. After unlocking the door with a wave of his wrist near the scanner, he pushed it open and tugged her along behind him. The lights automatically brightened. Because he didn’t plan for them to stay long, he didn’t fiddle with the temperature controls to the room.

Four steps inside the playroom, he stopped but held tight to Dizzy’s hand. Fearing the worst, he looked down at her. The expression on her face surprised him. It wasn’t horror or terror reflected on her features but curiosity.

As if feeling his interested gaze, she glanced up at him. She licked her lips a bit nervously before asking, “So when you say playroom, you mean…sex.”

“Yes.”

“I see.” She moved away from him. At first, he suspected she might try to bolt for the bedroom. To her credit, she indulged her curiosity of the space. She opened one of the drawers where he kept a selection of vibrators and anal toys. Almost as quickly she slammed it shut and refused to meet his amused gaze.

Walking to the wall where he’d arranged his ropes and striking implements, she simply stared at them. He could only imagine how very strange the floggers and many lengths of looped rope must have looked to her right now. She felt one of the rougher ropes among his collection. He didn’t miss the fleeting distaste that spread across her face. That was definitely a rope that would be dead last in his rotation.

When her gaze drifted to the ceiling and the reinforced hooks and rings, she stopped walking. Her mouth slanted and she pointed toward them. “I guess this is what Risk meant when he mentioned inversions and suspensions.”

“Yes.” Venom cautiously approached her. She was putting on a brave face as she explored the playroom but he sensed one wrong move would cause her to flee. “I’m not like most men of my race. I don’t find much pleasure from domestic discipline but I’ve always gravitated toward bondage and restraint. We’ll try out impact play to see if it’s something you enjoy but it likely won’t be something we do very often.”

“Impact play?”

“Spanking, flogging, whipping—”

Air hissed between her teeth. She narrowed her eyes at him. “If you think you’re going to whip me—”

“I don’t.” He dared to clamp his hand on her shoulder. “Everything we do in here or in our bedroom requires your consent. All you have to say is no and it’s off the table.”

She relaxed under his touch. “Okay.”

He took down his softest, lightest and shortest rope and handed the small coil to her. She hesitantly accepted it. “I enjoy rope bondage—and I hope you’ll learn to enjoy it too.”

Swallowing, she glanced up at him. “Bondage?”

“Restraint,” he clarified.

“You mean like the way you held me down last night while we…?”

“Exactly like that,” he confirmed. “Did you like what we did last night?”

She refused to meet his questioning gaze. “You know I did.”

“There’s nothing shameful about liking to be held down by your lover, Dizzy. Whatever makes you feel good is perfectly acceptable.”

“I suppose.”

He suspected she believed what he said was true but decided not to push her. In time she would learn to be more accepting of her desires and needs. Instead he took one end of the rope from the small coil in her hands. He expertly formed a knot and then teasingly rubbed it along her exposed collarbone. “You’ll learn to crave the sensation of rope hugging your bare skin.”

“Oh, will I?” She arched one of her bow-shaped brows.

His mouth curved with amusement. “Well—I
hope
you’ll learn to crave it.”

She didn’t stop him from gliding the knot down toward the neckline of her nightgown. “Why do you like ropes?”

He searched for the right way to explain it to her. “I like the way they look crisscrossing skin. I enjoy the slow, methodical work of planning the ties and knots and rigging it all together.” Quietly he added, “I enjoy knowing that the woman in my ropes is completely at my mercy.”

Dizzy breathed a little harder. “It excites you to be totally in control?”

“Yes.” He dipped his head to get a better look at her face. The tips of her ears were bright red now and she seemed desperate to hide her eyes from him. “Does it excite you to think of surrendering control to me?”

She didn’t answer him at first. Instead she rubbed her fingertip over the rope clenched tightly in her hand. “It shouldn’t excite me—but it does.”

He tipped her chin and forced her gaze to meet his. “Why shouldn’t it excite you?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s just…it’s not right.”

“Says who?”

“Well…”

“Dizzy,” he interrupted her gently, “what other people or society deems right and wrong ends at the front entrance of our quarters.
We
decide what is right and wrong for
us
. If you enjoy being tied up by me and I enjoy tying you up, we’re going to do it. If you like giving up control when we’re in bed so I can drive you crazy with pleasure, we’re going to do that. This is
our
mate bond and we’ll set the parameters of what is or isn’t allowed within our union.”

With a look of quiet consideration, she mulled it over while fingering the rope. When she finally lifted her face, Dizzy wore the oddest expression. She tilted her head back a bit bravely and said, “Tie me up.”

He reeled back with surprise. “What?
Now
?”

“Yes.” She looked as though she was trying to maintain her courage.

Worried about pushing her too far, too fast, he hurriedly said, “Dizzy, I didn’t bring you in here to pressure you. I only wanted you to see what the playroom is and explain what I hoped we might someday enjoy together.”

“I know that.” She placed her hand against his bare chest. The searing touch of her fingertips on his skin branded him as hers forever. “You’re going to be my first and I want to know what it’s like to do things
your
way.”

Venom studied Dizzy for a solid minute. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” There was no hiding her nervousness but that was to be expected considering all that she was about to experience for the very first time. “Unless you don’t want to tie me up…”

“Dizzy, I’ve wanted to bind you in my ropes since that first moment I caught sight of you.” He threaded his fingers through her white-blonde hair. “I need you to understand that you can change your mind at any time.”

“I understand.”

He hoped she did but he would be watching her carefully. At the first sign of discomfort or panic, he would end their first foray into bondage.

Bending down, he kissed her tenderly and took the rope from her hands. “Go into the bedroom and wait for me.”

Biting her bottom lip, she nodded and carefully backed away from him. He enjoyed the sight of her swinging hips as she padded silently from the playroom. Left alone, he faced the wall of rope and formulated a plan for Dizzy’s introduction into the sensual world of bondage.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Dizzy couldn’t decide if she was crazy or stupid. She nervously paced the spacious bedroom and waited for Venom. Had she really just asked him to tie her up?
Are you insane?

She must be losing her mind. Maybe that space sickness she’d read about in the pamphlets the medics had given her was a real thing. Surely she had to be coming down with some sort of space crazy to invite Venom to restrain her with rope. There was no other explanation for her brazen request.

Unless…

No. Definitely not. There was no way she really wanted to be tied up. Was there?

Except…

Well.

She
did
.

Dizzy couldn’t explain it but something so stunningly primal had happened to her back in the playroom. As Venom had described wanting to restrain her with his ropes, she’d been overwhelmed by the most intense desire to feel squeezed and embraced by the intricate loops of knots and bonds. She remembered the way it had felt when he’d held her down while giving her an orgasm. Safe. Secure. Thrilling.

When he had spoken about the reasons he enjoyed rope bondage, she’d seen the primitive spark in his blue eyes. He
needed
this as much as she craved it. The way he had instinctively known how to help her sleep last night should have been her first clue that Venom understood her needs better than anyone.

For so many years, she’d considered herself broken with her bizarre need for deep pressure when trying to sleep. It wasn’t
normal
and different wasn’t something that people down in The City liked.