Savin' Me (18 page)

Sheesh, and men claim women are moody?

Little Bit returned with the ball, and Erik
busied himself by wrestling it away, then throwing it again.

Irritated, mostly that she’d been foolish
enough to think this could work without serious repercussions, she
blew out a breath and said, “Look, Erik…”

He turned to her, and the rest of the words
hit a roadblock in her throat. Instead of the usual sparkling
irises, his eyes were dull, flat orbs.

She hated the strain on his face, and a throb
of regret pulsed through her. “My coming here was obviously a bad
idea. When Kevin gets back from fishing, I’ll ask him if he minds
taking me back to Riverside. Or… maybe Seth would come and pick me
up.”

His eyebrows drew into a harsh line over
narrowed eyes. “Are you always like this?”

She took a step back, startled by his harsh
snap. “Excuse me?”

“Do I ever get a say in what happens between
us?” He slammed his hands onto his hips, sending the loose-fitting
trunks lower on his waist, and a chill flushed through her at his
glower. “It’s like Charlotte all over again. Suddenly, you’ve
decided it’s a bad idea and you’re gonna run off again. I thought
things were pretty damned good.”

A cool wave rushed around her ankles,
anchoring her feet in the cold, wet sand as anger washed through
her. The heaviness of the sand matched the weight in her chest as
she struggled to breathe. “Yeah, last night things were great.” She
challenged him with an angry look of her own. “But this morning,
there’s more than a little regret floating around in the air, and
you obviously need more space.” She took a calming breath and said,
“I just want to make sure things don’t get any more awkward and
that we’re able to persevere a decent working relationship.”

He exhaled like she’d punched him in the
stomach, then stepped forward and wrapped her in a hug that
threatened to squeeze the life out of her. “I don’t need space,
Kat, and I’m sorry I made you feel that way.” He propped his chin
on top of her head and sighed. “I... shit… I don’t know what to do
with you.”

His flip-flopping mood kept her confused and
guarded, but she couldn’t resist resting her head on his chest and
returning the hug. Sliding her fingers along the ridge of his
spine, she muttered, “You seemed to know exactly what to do with me
last night.”

“Smartass.” He kept his arms wrapped around
her waist, but drew back so he could look at her. “I looked up
there and saw you sitting on the deck, and it was just like last
night when you were walking around my bedroom. It seemed perfectly
natural, like you belonged there.” He stroked the backs of his
knuckles across her cheek. “My usual tactics of making sure I don’t
get too close aren’t working with you.” He laughed. “Hell, I guess
that’s no surprise, since I’m not even trying to stick to my normal
tactics.”

Kat wiggled her toes in the wet sand and
verbally tippy toed into his personal history. “Why do you try so
hard to avoid relationships?” Realizing how the question might
sound, she said, “I’m not pushing for one; I’m just curious.
Normally, when someone works that hard to avoid something, they
have a very strong reason.”

He released her and took the ball from Little
Bit, then tossed it down the beach before settling his gaze on the
horizon. “I had a fiancée once. Well, an almost-fiancée.”

The agony in his voice and the haunted
memories in his eyes sent a sharp pang through her chest. She
wanted to reach out to him, but he seemed lost in time, and she
didn’t want to interrupt his thoughts.

“I swore I’d never get that close to anyone
again.” He grimaced, although she thought he was trying to smile.
“I did all right until you came along. But after last night, I want
you now more than ever, and I don’t know how to handle that.”

She didn’t know what to say. His past was
still so obviously painful she wished she could help extinguish the
hurt, but she didn’t know how. She’d also never received a
declaration of affection quite so half-assed, and even though it
wasn’t meant to be, it was a declaration. And probably as much of
one as she’d ever get from Erik.

Sensing another impending withdrawal, she
decided to leave first and give him space before he could
emotionally pull away again. “I think I’ll go for a run.” Running
was her way of working through life’s difficulties, and right now,
it seemed like the perfect solution.

He took her hand in his and caressed her
wrist. “I don’t want you to go. I mean, going for a run is fine.
But I don’t want you to go back to Riverside. Needing you like I do
terrifies me, but the thought of not seeing you makes me crazy.” He
watched the wave breaking around his ankles, seemingly noticing for
the first time he stood in the water. His mouth twisted into a wry
smile and he said, “I think I’m in too deep.”

She didn’t know if he meant the water or with
her, but she suspected both. “I’ll stay for a little while. Let’s
see how things go throughout the day and we’ll reevaluate.
Okay?”

He smiled and tugged her closer for a kiss.
“Deal.”

As she made her way back to the house, she
considered everything Erik had said. She understood his
perspective. She spent thirteen months thinking about him. She
hadn’t dated anyone else because no one else could compare, and she
began to think he ruined her. Yet, she was foolish enough to think
they could have a couple of hot nights, finish the business they
started in Charlotte and then move on with their separate
lives.

Maybe last night when he said, “We’re in
trouble,” she should’ve heeded his warning. But she couldn’t have
stopped last night from happening any more than she could stop the
incoming tide. The desire between them, the sparks, the
connection—it was all too powerful, and she was defenseless against
its enormity.

But what did they do now? If anything, the
connection had grown stronger, and she was incapable of severing
it.

The beeping of her cell phone disrupted her
runaway thoughts as she rummaged through her bag, looking for a
sports bra and running shorts. She knew, without looking, it was
another missed call from Granddad.

Carrying the phone to the deck, she felt like
a piece of driftwood that had been tossed around by the pounding
surf, then left behind on the sandy beach. A grounding conversation
with him was exactly what she needed.

After two rings she heard, “How’s my
Katydid?”

The familiarity of his voice soothed her
soul. She smiled, thinking back to the day she’d gotten him the new
phone with caller ID. The idea of knowing who was calling before he
answered had intrigued him, and he’d obviously gotten the hang of
using it. “Hi, Granddad. I’m fine.”

“Ya don’t sound fine.” Concern laced his
words.

Instead of sitting in the chair, she sat on
the deck and rested her forehead against the spindles of the deck
railing. She drew in a ragged breath and considered lying. But he
knew her too well to be deceived, so she opted for the truth. “I’m
an idiot.”

His chuckle warmed her heart and made her
feel like a little girl again. She futilely wished she could crawl
into his lap, let him brush his hand over her hair, and reassure
her everything would be okay.

“I’ll never believe that. What’s goin’
on?”

Kat glanced out at the beach where Erik sat
with his elbows resting on bent knees, his head dropped into his
hands. He looked as miserable as she felt. “You’re never going to
believe I could be this stupid, but…” She squeezed her eyes shut
and swallowed hard as the depth of her feelings for Erik
overwhelmed her. “Oh God, I think I’ve fallen in love.” She paused.
“With a client.”

“What’s the matter with that?”

She groaned. “I thought I was smarter than
this.”

“There’s nothin’ wrong with fallin’ in love.
It’s the best thing that can ever happen to ya. As long as it’s the
right guy.”

“That’s the problem; he’s a client, which
makes him the wrong guy.”

He also doesn’t want to love me back.
She didn’t believe for a second Erik didn’t care, but he was so
conflicted over his feelings, he’d fight them to the end.

“Katy, why do you keep doin’ this?”

She laughed to keep from crying. “Because I’m
an idiot. I just said that.”

“I mean, why do ya keep puttin’ a job… a job
ya don’ even like… above ever’thing else?” She didn’t have a chance
to answer before he started again. “Are ya volunteerin’ at the
animal shelter? Have ya found the women’s shelter and gone over
there ‘n done some work?”

“No, sir.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t have time. I’m trying to be
responsible and give all of my time and effort to my new job. Those
other things are what you do in your spare time, and I don’t have
any of that right now.”

“Horse malarkey. You listen to me. Your mama
is my only child, and I love her. But she’s full of crap. I shoulda
said this long ago, but I’ve tried to mind my own business. You’ve
let that high fallutin’ mother of yours fill your head with a bunch
of garbage. Life is about more than makin’ a pile of money. As long
as ya got enough to eat and have a roof over your head, it don’
matter about nothin’ else. Volunteerin’s important to ya, it makes
ya happy.” His voice softened. “Are ya happy?”

Kat swiped away a tear with the back of her
hand. “No, not really. I haven’t been happy in a long time.”

“There’s more important things in life than
work, Katydid. Things like love and family.” His voice grew so soft
she could barely hear him. “Your grandma taught me that. And she
was right.”

“I don’t know anything about love.”

“Sure ya do. Yer heart’s overflowin’ with it.
That’s why ya do the things ya do. Goin’ to the homeless shelter on
Christmas mornin’ to feed the folks there. Spendin’ your spare time
and extra money on the kids at the women’s shelter. Stayin’ up all
night with a howlin’ cat that’s havin’ kittens. That’s who ya are.
And bein’ a good person is more important than any job you’ll ever
do. Don’t ya forget it.”

Kat swiped at the now free-flowing tears and
laughed, remembering the night the Siamese cat at the shelter had
gone into labor. She’d taken the mother-to-be home and ended up
calling her granddad in the middle of the night for help. The cat
had howled so badly and made such terrible noises, they had to
trade off taking care of her so they didn’t lose their minds.

Not wanting her granddad to be worried and
think she never had any fun, she said, “I’m actually at the beach
right now with Erik. The client.”

She told him about the Mazze building project
and how they planned to promote the new development and incorporate
donations to the CPA. She told him about learning to boogie board
and the unsuccessful attempt by Erik’s friends to teach her to play
their card game.

By the time she disconnected, they’d been on
the phone for thirty minutes. She still had a lot to figure out,
but she felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from her
chest and shoulders. She missed her granddad, and since the only
family he had left in Charlotte was her mother, Kat wondered if she
could convince him to move to the coast with her.

***

The second Kat left for her run, Erik drove
to the local surf shop and bought Kat her very own boogie board.
Whether she would actually use it or not, he didn’t know. But the
kids next door were already in the water, and he wanted her to have
it. What she did with it was up to her.

After returning to the house, he wandered
around a bit feeling lost, even though he was in his own space. It
wasn’t noon yet, but he was at the beach and needed a drink, so he
cracked open a beer and parked himself in one of the deck chairs.
The tightly-coiled spring wrapped around his gut had just started
to relax when Steve and Kevin came back from their unsuccessful
fishing trip.

“What’s going on?” Steve asked, shoving his
sunglasses up on his head.

Erik shrugged. “Nothing. Kat’s gone for a
run, and I’m hanging out.”

“Yeah, I see that.” Steve crossed his arms
over his chest. “And drinking at eleven in the morning. You haven’t
done that in years.”

Steve’s tough guy act would have been way
more impressive without the listing pose and bulky cast, and,
although he tried, Erik couldn’t hold back his laugh.

“She’s getting to you.”

That put the lockdown on Erik’s laughter.
“Have you always been this nosey, and I just never noticed?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

Kevin, who’d been watching the surf and
pretending not to listen, piped in. “Don’t blow this.”

“There’s nothing to blow. Christ!” Erik’s
irritation escalated as the need to defend himself grew. “It was
one night.”
Liar.
“Okay, after tonight it’ll have been two.
Mind your own damn business.”

“I like her. I don’t want her hurt.” Although
Kevin’s words were non-threatening and his tone remained steady,
his stance and demeanor were challenging. “If you’re not that
interested, it certainly wouldn’t be a hardship for me to carry her
sweet little ass back to Riverside—”

The rest of Kevin’s sentence was engulfed by
Erik’s all-consuming rage. He was out of his chair with Kevin
slammed against the exterior wall of the house before any of them
could blink. “Stay the hell away from her. If I see you touch her
again, I’ll break your fucking arm. Are we clear?”

Kevin stood a few inches shorter than Erik,
but had at least twenty pounds of muscle to his advantage. However,
instead of fighting back, the bastard smiled.

Erik’s reaction had confirmed Steve’s
comment. Kat was getting to him.

Kevin’s gaze locked with Erik’s like two
bulls locking horns, and his expression said it all. He wasn’t
interested in Kat, but he would use their competitiveness to force
Erik into owning his feelings for her. “Don’t be an idiot, Erik.
What happened to Lindsey wasn’t your fault. But if you lose Kat,
you’ll only have yourself to blame.”