Saving Abby (18 page)

TWENTY-FIVE

JOSH

Present day

J
osh pulled up to the curb outside of Abigail and Derek’s house and sat there, fingers clenched on the steering wheel.

He should be at home right now with Claire, but he’d almost exploded at her earlier, and he’d stormed out, too afraid of what he might say or do if he’d stayed.

A loud rumble from the dark clouds above had him rolling up his windows. The sky had darkened in a matter of minutes, and he knew they were about to get hit with a major storm.

By the time he knocked on their door, the wind swirled around him, strong enough to push him around, and the temperature dropped. The sky would open up anytime.

“Dude, you should have called.” Derek opened the door. “We’re just sitting down to . . . what’s wrong?” He pulled Josh inside just as the rain began.

“I knew we were in for a storm, but that came from nowhere.”

“Sorry for dropping in like this, I just—”

“Josh, nice surprise.” Abby joined them, a smile on her face. “Join us for dinner? Derek made spaghetti and we have lots.” She looked from Derek to him and the smile disappeared. “What’s wrong? Is it Claire? Everything okay?”

Josh snorted and almost apologized but stopped himself. “Claire is fine. If you were to call and ask her just that, she’ll tell you the same thing. She’s fine.” He spat the words out, the anger that he’d been trying for so long to push down, rising to the surface.

“Come on, let’s eat. Good to see you’re finally breaking. Took you long enough.” He led the way into the kitchen.

“Lay off, Derek,” Abby said as she dished Josh out a plate of spaghetti with meat sauce.

“Why? Mr. Perfect is cracking, and he came to us.” Derek slid a bottle of beer toward him. “That tells me not only that he can handle it but that he knows we’re a safe place for him to let go of all the things he’s been holding inside. If he wants to deck me, so be it. If he breaks my nose, I’m married to a doctor. I’ll be fine.”

Josh kept his mouth shut but took the plate of food and managed a small smile of thanks. Derek was right. This was a safe place for him, and he should have realized that a while ago.

“Eat up because I plan on grilling you about what you said about Claire being fine.”

“I’m not breaking anyone’s nose,” Josh muttered as he sat down and toyed with his food. The first few bites tasted like sawdust in his mouth, but eventually hunger replaced anger, and in no time, his plate was empty. He enjoyed being able to sit there and just eat, not worry about being polite or making dinner conversation or having to watch over Claire to make sure she ate enough.

For the first time in a long time, he could just relax, and that’s exactly what he did.

By the time the kitchen was cleared and the dishwasher full, Josh had settled in their living room with a beer and was finally ready to talk.

Abigail sat across from Josh, her elbows resting on her knees as she stared at him. “According to her notebook, her headaches seem to be leveling out, which is great news considering how far along she is,” she said. “Has she been lying to me?”

Derek sat beside her, his arm slung over the back of the couch, his leg crossed over his knee.

“I think so,” Josh admitted. “Before we found out about the tumors, if you’d asked her, she would have said the headache was around a six. She was tired, loud noises hurt, and more often than not, you’d find her with a cool gel pack over her eyes. Nothing has changed. She’s getting more headaches, and I’m finding her in our room, curtains closed. She doesn’t draw for too long anymore either.”

“And yet, she more often than not gives her headaches a four or a five.” Abby leaned back, her brow knitted to match the frown on her face.

“I call bullshit,” Derek said.

“I would say she’s more at seven or eight.” Josh pinched his lips together.

Abby looked at him in alarm. “Are you serious?” She leaned forward again. “Josh, I know you’re worried, and you want her to get treated. I know that. But it’s still not safe for the baby, and that’s probably why”—she paused and shook her head, looking at Derek for a moment before she continued—“why she’s lying to us. I told her if she got to a seven or eight that I would need to step in.”

“I don’t want our child at risk, either. I don’t.” Josh needed them to believe him because he had a feeling Claire didn’t, no matter how many times he said it to her. “But I’m not okay with Claire putting her life at risk either. There has to be something, Abby, something that you can do.” He buried his head in his hands.

“Has she been moody?” Abby asked.

Josh snorted.

“Okay, abnormally moody? More than what you’d expect from being pregnant? Excessive mood swings, like from being angry to isolating herself?”

Josh just looked at Abby. He really didn’t need to answer that.

“Okay.” Abigail looked up at the ceiling. “Damn it,” she said. “We can get her massages and chiropractic treatments adjusted so they’re more often. That might help. I prescribed a pill, but she’s never had it filled—I checked with the pharmacy.”

Josh lifted his head. “You did? When? What kind of pill? What will it do?” Why hadn’t Claire mentioned it to him? He would have gotten it filled for her if that was the case.

“Last month, to help with the headaches. She’s antidrug though, in case you haven’t noticed. She’ll take the over-the-counter medicines, but not anything I prescribe. Your wife is a tad stubborn.”

“A tad?” Derek laughed. “We’re talking about Claire here. For as long as I can remember, it’s been her dream to have a baby again. Are you honestly surprised that she’s doing everything she can to make sure nothing happens to the baby? Lay off a bit, guys.”

Josh pushed himself to his feet. “That dream won’t matter if she kills herself in the process, and it’s not just her child, it’s ours. She seems to forget that I should have a say in this too.” A whole assortment of emotions rolled through him. Anger. Frustration. Grief.

“I won’t let that happen, Josh. I made you that promise, and I intend to keep it.” Abby sat up straighter and glared at Derek.

“Don’t be upset with him. He’s just saying what we all know.” Josh grabbed the beer he’d set down. “I have an idea,” he said after finishing half the bottle. “Why don’t you try to talk some sense into my wife? God knows she might actually listen to you.” He pointed at Derek.

“That’s actually not a bad idea,” Abby agreed.

“What exactly am I supposed to say? Claire, you need to start listening to my wife or you’re going to die?”

Josh sunk back down on the couch.

“What about me? Do I matter at all in this? I’m just supposed to sit here and be okay with the fact that my wife is dying right before my eyes? That I’m going to be a single father? That I’m going to lose the love of my life? Don’t I matter?” His body shook with the swell of emotions coursing through him.

“I sound like a baby,” he said quietly as Abby and Derek just sat there, staring at him. What was he doing? He should be focused on Claire, finding a way to save both her and their baby rather than whining like a child.

“Forget it,” he said. “I’m just . . . exhausted. I’m going to miss my deadline, and Claire won’t let me explain what’s going on in order to get an extension.”

“Nah,” Derek finally said. “You sound like a man who’s finally realized he can’t get through this alone.” Derek leaned forward. “But you’ve got us, and you can bet we won’t stop fighting—for you or Claire.”

“I should get home. Claire is probably wondering where I am.”

Abby laughed. “You’re not going anywhere. I sent Claire a text saying you’d stopped by, and that we fed you. She said if you drink more than one beer, you’re to stay, and she’ll come pick you up. You’ve had two by my count, so guess you’re stuck here.”

“Claire is going to come here? You’re sure?” That would mean she’d actually have to leave the house on her own.

“Want to make a party out of it? We could invite a few people over for drinks, have a bonfire, and eat s’mores.” There was a glint in Derek’s eyes that grew even after Abigail smacked him on the arm.

“Seriously, sometimes I swear you’re a child in a man’s body.”

“We all are, sweetie. The sooner you realize that, the more fun we’ll have.” Derek pretended to duck her next blow. “But, I’m serious about the bonfire and s’mores. Text Claire and ask her to pick up marshmallows. I ate all ours last night.”

When Abby pulled out her phone, Josh wanted to laugh but couldn’t. “You’re not seriously asking her, are you?”

“Doesn’t hurt to try.” She shrugged.

Josh sighed and headed into the kitchen where he grabbed another beer.

“Liquid courage?” Derek followed him and leaned against the counter, taking the beer Josh held out.

“Pardon?”

“Liquid courage.” Derek nodded to the beer in Josh’s hand. “You know, so you can tell Claire how you’re feeling with us backing you up.”

Josh hadn’t thought of that, but his friend was probably right.

“I don’t need to drink to tell my wife how I feel.”

“Sure. I believe you. But, you might want to stop after that one, if you don’t want things escalating. Trust me on that, bro.”

From the tone in Derek’s voice, Josh wondered what was going on, and whether he’d interrupted something when he dropped by.

“Things okay?” He said quietly after checking the doorway to make sure Abby wasn’t standing there, listening in.

“Nope. We’re not talking about me or my marriage. This is about you.” Derek pointed his beer toward him and frowned. “It’s okay to admit you’re not perfect. You know that, right? Things don’t always have to be awesome in your little world,” he muttered.

“I know that.” What was going on here? It almost sounded like Derek was gloating over the fact things were rough between him and Claire. “Is there something you want to say to me, Derek? Now’s the time. Spit it out.”

“Nah, man. We’re good.” Derek shook his head and walked out, leaving Josh alone.

Claire coming here wasn’t what he wanted. He should have thought this through better. He’d left the house to grapple with his thoughts, and he was nowhere close to the peace he needed before seeing his wife. Nor was it fair to ambush her with his feelings when she was trying hard to shelter herself from stress.

“I can’t do it, guys.” Decision made, Josh pushed himself from the wall and headed into the living room. “Claire doesn’t need . . .”

His wife stood there, bag in hand. “Claire doesn’t need what?”

“That was fast.” That’s all Josh could say. He didn’t expect her here so soon.

“What was fast?” Claire handed Abby the bag she’d brought with her. “Marshmallows as requested.”

Abby grabbed the bag. “You stopped at the gas station for these? You know they mark these up by at least four dollars. The grocery store would have been cheaper.”

“There were too many cars there. I didn’t want to run into anyone.” Abby crossed her arms, and when she refocused her attention on Josh, he winced. “What don’t I need, Josh? You drunk? S’mores? To come and get you? What?” She counted off the list of ideas on her fingers and looked at him expectantly.

Josh was at a loss. “All of the above?” He chickened out. And from the look on Abby’s and Derek’s faces, they knew it too.

Claire must have noticed as well. “Should I take a seat, or is this something we’ll talk about when we’re alone?” Her tone held a hint of frost, and Josh knew he was in trouble. “Or do you need Abby and Derek here as backup.”

“It’s not like that, Claire. Josh—”

“Can speak for himself.” Claire interrupted Abby who was kind enough to come to his defense. But he didn’t need it.

“Claire’s right.” He went and gently squeezed Abby’s shoulder in thanks and then went to stand in front of his wife. “I can speak for myself, but you don’t always hear me. Not lately at least.”

Claire’s shoulder’s dropped. “Josh, do we have to do this here?”

“No.” He shook his head. “We don’t.”

“Well, you might not. But I do.” Abby stepped forward, arms folded over her chest, and tapped her foot. “You wouldn’t be lying to me about how severe your headaches are getting, are you?”

Claire looked from Josh to Abby and back to Josh before she shook her head. “Why?”

“Claire,” Josh said quietly in rebuke.

Claire’s lips thinned. “You’re kidding me, right?”

“You tell me,” Abby said. “Josh seems to think they’re getting worse. Yet you tell me they’re around a four or a five on the pain scale.”

The moment Claire closed her eyes, Josh knew. It was like a sucker punch to his gut. They were worse. He’d been right.

“Why, Claire?” He breathed. “Don’t you realize what you’re doing?”

“Protecting our child. That’s what I’m doing. Can’t you see that?” There was both anger and heartache in her voice.

“I see it, hon. I see it.” Josh stepped toward her and grabbed her hands, holding them tight in his own. “But I also see you giving up on yourself, and I can’t accept that. I won’t. You might be okay with your dying, but I’m not.”

“You can’t look at it that way, Josh,” Claire said.

Josh attempted to disagree, to explain more of how he saw it, but the words wouldn’t come.

“Want to know what I see?” Derek said, standing beside Abby. “I see a woman being selfish, and it surprises me more than anything, because you’re normally anything but selfish.”

A flash of pain appeared in Claire’s eyes before she closed them and stared down at the ground. Her hands instinctively wrapped around her growing belly, and it angered Josh. He turned, ready to tell his friend off for hurting his wife. Then he stopped.

“Derek’s right,” Abby said. “You made me a promise, Claire, and you’re basically forcing me to break my word to you and your husband. I promised that I would keep both you and your baby safe, but when you lie to me, when you try to hide the truth, you’re tying my hands. What if it’s too late? I’m going to carry that guilt forever.”

Claire shook her head, and all Josh wanted to do was hold her in his arms and protect her from this. He could see they were hurting her, that it was all too much. But at the same time, he was glad they were finally being honest.