Saving Abby (22 page)

THIRTY-TWO

CLAIRE

Present day

T
he small hospital room was crowded with well-wishers, who had shown up to welcome baby Turner into the world.

Gerry Stam brought an assortment of ice creams as a gift, which Josh promptly confiscated. Fran came by with a menu plan for the next month and borrowed a house key so she could stock their freezer.

Abby had poked her head in for a few minutes, requesting a little one-on-one time with Claire. Till this point, she’d been entirely in doctor mode, but a hint of a smile on her face caught Claire’s attention.

“You look happy,” she said.

“Of course I am. You’re having your baby.”

Claire shook her head. “No, that’s not it. There’s something else. ’Fess up.”

Abby sat down in the chair and propped her feet up on the bed frame. “Derek and I had a really good talk last night, and while not everything has been figured out between us, we’re in a little bit of a better place. Plus”—she leaned forward and looped her hands around her knees—“he talked me into a beach vacation. Jamaica maybe.” Her eyes twinkled. “We haven’t really gone away, just the two of us, for a very long time.”

“I love that idea,” Claire said. She was glad her friends were figuring things out, the last thing she wanted was to see their marriage fall apart.

“Don’t worry, though, we won’t leave until after your treatments are done. I’ll be right here, by your side, through it all.”

“No way,” Claire disagreed. “Josh will be there to hold my hand. Making sure you’re happy and less stressed is more important to me. Honestly.”

“Well, I’m not going anywhere any time soon. I’ve got a little girl to hold and cuddle. Which reminds me, it’s time to get this show on the road.” Abby stood. “I’m going to go check in with your surgical and delivery teams, and I’ll send your nurse in. She’s amazing—one of the best we’ve got.”

As soon as she left, Liz came in with homemade pie, and then Julie brought thermoses of both coffee and tea, along with a platter of treats from the bakery, which she left in the cafeteria for everyone to enjoy. Her room bustled with people, and Claire loved it.

“You’re all too much, you know that, right?” Claire couldn’t keep the grin off her face. She loved how much their community acted like a family, and it meant so much that they were there to support her and Josh today.

“I agree. Time to empty this room.” A nurse walked into the room and began to shoo people out of it. “Who here is not related to our soon-to-be mother?” With hands on her hips, she stared down Liz, Millie, Derek, and Josh and tapped her foot.

Liz and Derek tentatively raised their hands.

“Then I need you out. Claire and I have things to discuss, and I don’t imagine she needs you to know all the intimate details of what’s about to happen.” She all but pushed Liz and Derek out of the room and closed the door after them.

“Now, Dr. Abigail asked me to look you over, and that’s what I’m going to do. I’m your go-to girl, got it? Any questions you have, any concerns, anything you need, you come to me or ask for me.” She pointed to her name tag, which read “Kathryn.” “I’ve been briefed by both Dr. Abigail and Dr. Will as well as the surgical team waiting in the wings to deal with the tumors.”

“Thanks, Kathryn. This is my husband, Josh, and Millie, my mother.” Claire liked Kathryn’s no-nonsense style.

“Anyone here get woozy when it comes to blood or other fluids?” Kathryn’s brow rose as she stared specifically at Josh, who blanched.

“Thought so.” She nodded. “You’ll want to stay up by Claire’s head then, hold her hand if you’re not in the way. Normally we let the dads cut the umbilical cord, but since this little one is a bit early, we’re going to have a team there to whisk baby Turner away for a little bit.”

“Why?” Claire asked.

Kathryn helped Claire get comfortable in the bed and wrapped the blood pressure cuff around her arm. She held up her index finger in reply, and then she went about her work. Claire tried to be patient.

Looking around the room, she realized she hated hospitals. Whether it was the smell or the sounds or just wearing the ridiculously short hospital gown, it didn’t really matter.

“Honey, you’re twenty-eight weeks pregnant, which makes this baby a preemie. Little Turner will need oxygen to help him or her breathe and will need help with feeding. Do you know if you’re having a girl or a boy?” Kathryn asked.

“A girl.” Claire rubbed her stomach and loved the feel of her daughter’s hand or foot pushing against her hand.

“Okay then. Once your little girl—”

“Will Claire go into labor at all?” Millie interrupted. She stood at the foot of the bed, her fingers clenching and unclenching as she tried to smile.

Her mother was probably more nervous than she was.

“Absolutely not.” Kathryn patted Claire’s shoulder. “We don’t want any pressure affecting those tumors and that includes contractions where Claire will feel the need to clench, push, or anything else that might be instinctive. In about a half hour, the anesthesiologist will be here to give you that epidural you’re going to love. You’ll be fully awake, and only your pelvic area will be numb.”

“I’ve done labor before. I’m more than happy to skip that part.” Claire cleared her throat. “Will I feel anything?”

“Is it safe?” Josh asked.

Kathryn smiled. “Dad, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Mom, what you’ll feel is the pull of your baby from your womb, it’s a . . . funny . . . sensation, and one I can’t quite describe. There will be a screen, so you won’t see anything—neither you nor your squeamish hubby. We’ve got the pink team here for you, which is the NICU or neonatal team, which also means”—she turned to Millie—“Grandma, there’s no room in there for you. It’s a pretty tight squeeze as it is.”

“Oh, I’d hoped . . .” Millie’s shoulders dropped at the news. “Okay.”

Claire, too, had hoped to have her mother there to help Josh with his queasiness and be one of the first ones to welcome their baby girl into the world.

“Sorry, guys. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but . . . you’ll see the baby girl soon enough, Grandma. Besides, we need someone to be the herald of the good news once she’s born, so keep an eye out for me. I’ll be the one who comes to the window and gives you the thumbs up. That’ll be your clue to tell the rest of the crowd waiting in the cafeteria.”

“So I can watch, but from the other side of the window? That’s okay then.”

“You got it.” Kathryn refocused on Claire. “Now, the team will whisk your girl off, clean her, weigh her, do some testing, and make sure she’s warm enough. If all is well, meaning she can breathe on her own and her scores are good, I’ll bring her back in so you get some cuddle time. But it won’t be for long, because she’ll need to be placed in her warming unit. All in all, it should take about an hour.”

Claire’s stomach flopped as the understanding of what would happen sank in.

“You’ve got questions. I can see it in your eyes. Let me see.” Kathryn smiled gently, as if this was the most natural thing, and she completely understood. “Your baby will be fine, I’ve got a feeling about it, and in all my twelve years of being in the neonatal ward, I’ve only been tricked twice by my gut. Generally, we like to keep the little ones with us until they are full term, but since you’re going to be here awhile anyways, things will work out fine. You’ll be able to bond with her, and I’ll make sure Dad here gets lots of skin time with her.”

“Skin time?” Josh frowned. “What is that?”

“Once your baby is stable, we’ll have you sit and hold her close to your chest, skin to skin. Trust me, it’s something you won’t want to miss. It helps to create a bond, and the body heat helps your baby as well, calms them and such. We call it kangaroo care.”

Claire felt a measure of relief having Kathryn there. She knew what she was doing. That much was obvious.

“Now, I hear there is coffee and treats in the cafeteria. I’d better go snag some before they’re all gone.” Kathryn made some notes in Claire’s chart. “Anyone else want anything? I’m all yours for the day, Claire, and that goes for your support team as well.”

“Want to bring me back a plate full?” Claire already knew the answer, but she thought she’d ask anyway.

Kathryn shot her a look that had Millie chuckling. “I heard you already had a bowl of Gloria’s cream of broccoli soup and not just one but two of her fresh butter biscuits. You’d better hope you don’t react to the anesthesia and get sick.”

“I told you, you should have had the chicken soup she made,” Millie teased.

“If you think I’m going to pass up Gloria’s cream of broccoli soup when I know I’ll be eating hospital food for the next week, you’re all crazy.”

“I’m sure Gloria will sneak some real food in for you. Don’t you worry.” Millie squeezed Claire’s foot.

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that,” Kathryn said as she left the room.

No one said anything for a little bit. Claire shifted in the bed, trying to find a more comfortable position.

“Well, kids. Are you ready?” Millie said. “Liz is going to pick up the cake you ordered for celebrating while you’re in recovery. Do we know yet when you’ll go into surgery? Will you have some time afterward to be with the baby?”

Claire shrugged. “I assumed the surgery would be shortly after, but I hope not.” She really didn’t get a clear answer from Abby.

Josh jammed his hands in his pant pockets, then rubbed the back of his neck before crossing his arms over his chest.

“Josh, why don’t you go grab a coffee? You’re making me antsy.” Claire knew he didn’t like being cooped up any more than she did, but at least he could leave.

“What if Kathryn or Abby comes back? I don’t want to miss anything.” Josh tapped his fingers against his leg until Claire put a hand out to stop him.

“Go,” she said. “If they come back before you do, I’ll make them wait. Okay?”

She breathed a sigh of relief as he left the room.

“I’ve never seen him this nervous before,” Millie said as he bolted from the room.

“I know. It’s almost kind of funny.” God, she loved that man. “Listen, while we’re alone, I wanted to talk to you about . . . Jackson.” She sat up straighter in the bed and pulled the blankets up to cover her belly. “Thank you for . . . for not forgetting about him.”

“Did you read the letters?” Millie asked.

Claire shook her head. “I wanted to wait until later. I . . . I knew I’d cry if I started, and crying means headaches. But, I have the photo of us all in Rome in my purse.”

It was hard not to read the letters. She ached to know more about him, to see him—to let her feelings about him flourish without having to rein them in.

“I always thought you didn’t care, that every time you told me not to live in the past that you meant to ignore it. But that’s not what you meant, was it? I’m so sorry for—”

“Stop.” Millie came over and gave her a long hug. “You don’t apologize for anything, okay? I’m the one who should apologize. I should have stood up to that father of yours years ago. If I had, then maybe things would have been different. It was wrong of him to push you to give your baby up, and it was wrong of me to be a pushover and go along with it. I should have known better. No.” She pulled back. “I did know better, but I thought I was wrong. I was too afraid to stand up to him, and it’s something I will forever regret.”

“Mom, it’s okay.”

“No honey, it’s not. But thank you for saying that anyway. Now,” she said as she hopped up from the bed. “This day isn’t about me or about the past. It’s about you and that beautiful little girl you’re about to have. I’m so proud of you for doing everything you could to protect her, but I’ve got to say, you scared me. I’m so glad you’re okay, that you’ll be okay, and that I won’t have to figure out how to live without you.” Millie took a tissue and wiped the tears that ran down her face.

“No talk of death, okay? Not in here. I’m going to be okay. My baby is going to be okay, and we’re going to spend years arguing over how much you spoil her.” She couldn’t wait.

“Have you picked out a name yet?” Millie asked.

Claire nodded.

“Will you tell me? I promise not to tell Josh.”

She laughed. As if her mother could keep a secret like that.

“No way,” she said. “Josh doesn’t even know the name I picked.”

“Oh . . . that’s so not fair,” Millie said. “Oh and I wanted to tell you, I told David about the cancer. I was so relieved when we heard the news that the tumors stopped growing, I had to tell someone. I hope you don’t mind?” The words rushed out of Millie’s mouth.

“You told David?” Claire was a little surprised about this but not upset. In fact, she liked the idea of her mother sharing something so private with David. He was a good man, someone Claire always looked up to and enjoyed talking with.

“You don’t mind, do you?”

“It’s about time!” Claire teased.

Millie’s face was awash with relief, which made Claire laugh. Her mother, the strong, independent, and somewhat crazy woman was finally letting someone in past the wall around her heart.

“I’ve been waiting years for you to find someone, you know?”

The door swung open with a whoosh, and Millie shushed her.

“Who found someone?” Josh asked as he came in carrying a tray of drinks and plates of food.

“My mother.” Claire grinned.

“Claire!” Millie’s face reddened.

“Please tell me it’s David. He’s outside, by the way. He was afraid to come in with Kathryn standing guard out there. She says we have five minutes before Abby comes in and fifteen minutes before the anesthesiologist.”

Millie perked up at that. “He’s outside? He came? What a sweetie. I should tell him to go home. He’s not needed.” Millie bit her lip as she contemplated leaving the room versus staying.

“Go. But don’t you dare tell him to leave. He came here for you, to keep you company.” Claire pointed to the door.

“I love you, Claire.” Millie put her hands on Claire’s cheeks. “I’m so proud of you, of the woman you are and the mother you’ll be. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

Claire mouthed
I love you
back to her mom. Suddenly overcome by emotion, she felt the words stick in her throat as Josh squeezed her hand.