Saving All My Lovin' (12 page)

A
nn Marie was at her desk in the real estate office just finishing up a deal with one of the brokers when Carol, the office assistant, tapped on her door. Ann Marie hung up the phone.

“Yes, come in.”

“Ms. Dennis, Terrance Bishop is here to see you.”

Ann Marie flinched as a hot flush coursed through her. Her thoughts scrambled.

“Ms. Dennis?”

Ann Marie blinked several times before getting Carol back in focus.

“I can tell him you’re busy.”

Ann Marie held up her hand. “Just give me a minute. I’ll come out.”

Carol stared at her for a moment before nodding in agreement. She stepped out and shut the door behind her.

Ann Marie pushed her fist to her mouth. She wasn’t ready to see Terrance again so soon.
You have to deal with it
, she heard her friends saying in her head. She wished they were standing beside her now.

Pushing herself up from her seat, she tugged down on the hem of her deep burgundy Valentino jacket and brushed her hands down the sides of the matching skirt. “Now or never,” she murmured. She walked to the door, opened it and stepped out into the front foyer. She spotted him seated in the guest lounge through the glass doors. If only she could forever seal him inside and move on with her life. Wishful thinking. Now or never.

She crossed the short hall and opened the door to the lounge. Terrance turned, the smile that had melted the hearts of many moved easily across his handsome face. He put down the magazine he’d held in his hands.

“I’d hoped you would decide to see me. Sorry to show up at your place of business.” He looked around, appraising the space. “You’ve done well for yourself, Mari.”

Ann Marie walked fully into the room. “What do you want, Terrance? You’ve already charmed your daughter.”

He took a step toward her. “I want to talk with you.”

“I’m very busy.”

“I wanted to let you know that I’m heading back home in a couple of days. I want you to come back with me.”

Her stomach somersaulted. “Forget it.” She shook her head. “I’m not going back.”

“Have you no good memories of home, of us?” He stepped closer. She drew in a breath as his scent wafted to her nose.

“That was a long time ago.”

“I haven’t forgotten.”

She turned her head away. “Maybe it’s time you did.”

“Never.”

There was that word again.

“I want a divorce, Terrance.” For an instant he seemed to shrink before pulling himself together. She lifted her chin in defiance. “That’s all I want from you.”

He pursed his lips in thought. “I’ll make you a deal.”

Her brow rose with suspicion. “What kind of deal?”

“You come back with me to Jamaica. Give me two weeks. If at the end of the two weeks you still feel the same way, I’ll give you your divorce.” He watched her expression process the information. “Besides, if you don’t come, I will have no choice but to fight it and then you will have to come home to settle it all anyway.”

Fury singed her cheeks. “So you’ve stooped to blackmail,” she said walking up on him. “Is nothing beneath you?”

“I will do whatever is necessary to have what I what. If you remember nothing else about me, remember that. And I want you.”

She spun away, folded her arms beneath her pert breasts as she paced. Her thoughts raced in a million directions at once. He had her up against the wall, just where he wanted her. Her options were minimal. She stopped, dropped her hands to her sides.

“I’ll give you your two weeks Terrance and then I want my divorce.”

The corner of his mouth curved upward. “You made the right decision, Mari, and I guarantee,” he stepped up to her and lifted her chin with the tip of his finger, “two weeks back together and all notions of divorce will be a distant memory.” His
eyes bored into hers. She held her breath then jerked away.

“Leave.”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope then tossed it onto the desk. “Your ticket is inside.” He turned and walked out.

On wobbly legs she walked to her desk and picked up the envelope. Just as he said, a ticket to Jamaica, first class was inside—
one way
. She glanced toward the door. Arrogant, self-assured, sexy bastard!

She slowly sat down. How was she going to explain this to Sterling?

B
arbara fingered her engagement ring as she paced her apartment. She checked the clock for the third time in the past half hour. Michael would be arriving any minute.

As usual his impromptu visit was a surprise. He was only scheduled to be in town for two days during a short training break. The season was set to start in two weeks and he was back on the roster. Every newspaper that she picked up had the story of point guard Michael Townsend’s return and with his return, hopes for an NBA championship for his team.

When Michael came into her life, and she finally allowed her heart to open and let him in, she was certain that he would be the last stop for her. Since her husband Marvin’s death years earlier, Barbara had put love on the back burner. Michael came along and reignited the pilot. But his youth had always nagged at her as much as he and her friends insisted that it didn’t matter. Soon she would be fifty. Michael was in his early thirties. He’d want children at some point. Something she could not give him, something she had not discussed with him. And then there was Wil. William Hutchinson, her first love, her soulmate, the man she’d run from, was back and everything that she thought was solid in her life was crumbling into little pieces. She still loved him, never stopped. So what did that mean about her feelings for Michael? Is it possible to love two people at the same time? And if she was truly in love with Michael would she have been able to make love so passionately with Wil?

What did that dilemma matter? Wil didn’t want to have anything to do with her. She couldn’t blame him. By omission she’d deceived him—again. But was she willing to compound her transgression by going on as usual with Michael?

These were the questions, along with countless
others, that had plagued her since she regained her senses in the massage room. God, what must Wil think of her?

She jumped at the sound of the doorbell.
Michael.
Her pulse raced. She brushed back her hair and walked to the front door. Smoothing her expression, she pulled the door open.

Michael’s handsome face grinned at her.

“Hey baby.” He crossed the threshold and took her in his arms for a long kiss. “I missed you,” he murmured against her mouth before reluctantly letting her go.

She stroked his face and looked into his dark eyes, remembering all the reasons why she’d said yes to his proposal of marriage. “Missed you, too.” She took his hand. “Come in.” She pushed the door shut behind him.

“It sure feels good to be back.” He turned to her. “Especially seeing you. Seems like forever.”

“How was your flight?” she asked, sidestepping his comments.

“Not bad. Usual hassles.” He lowered himself onto the couch and stretched his hand out to her. She crossed the room and sat next to him. He draped his long arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. “So what have you been up to?”

“Keeping busy that’s for sure. We did finally
hire a few new people so that has taken off some of the load.”

“Great. That will make more time for us. Next time I ask you to come visit you won’t have any reason to say no.”

Although his comment was simple enough, his sarcastic tone rubbed Barbara the wrong way.

She eased out of his hold and turned to his profile. “You make it sound as though I was making up an excuse not to come out to Florida.”

He rocked his jaw a moment then looked her in the eye. “It’s not about excuses, it’s about you being my woman, my fiancée, my soon-to-be wife and being there for me.”

Her neck jerked back. “What are you saying? That my life is not as important as yours?”

His thick brows drew together. “Let’s be for real. I make two million plus per year, after taxes. If I don’t play another game in my life I’m still set. I could buy that spa right out from under you. What you do has its merits…but come on.”

She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She jumped up from her seat and glared down at him, her finger pointing at his face. “You play a
game
for a living. A game! I do something meaningful—I
help
people. And let’s not forget I helped your two-million-plus-per-year-after-taxes ass!”

He held up his hands. “Barbara, chill. I didn’t mean it like that. You’re—”

“You didn’t?” She tossed her head back and laughed a nasty laugh. “Oh, I see, you didn’t mean to insult me and what I do for a living. Is that what you’re telling me? Pardon me for the confusion.” She spun away and stormed off to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

She paced her bedroom, arms folded, fury boiled inside her pounding against her temples. How dare he? How dare he undermine her that way? Is that what he really thought? What had she gotten herself into?

A tentative knock halted her parade in mid-step.

“I’m coming in.” Michael opened the door. “I’m sorry. It was stupid and insensitive.” He walked into the room after offering his olive branch. “Sometimes I talk faster than I think.” He approached her. She stiffened. “You have to know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. I’m sorry,” he repeated.

Barbara loosened the hold she had on herself and looked up at him—seeing all the things she’d always seen but refused to believe. Michael Townsend was still a young man in so many ways. And his celebrity and his money camouflaged his immaturity. There’d been all the signs, his moodiness, pouting when things didn’t go his way, his
irrational possessiveness, not to mention the ‘baby mama drama’ scare. Sure he was an incredible lover, kind, gentle and fun to be with. But she needed more than that. She needed someone on her level, someone who both understood and respected her totally. She didn’t have enough good years left to ‘train’ anyone. They had to come ready to play. She let out a breath.

“Mike, sit down…please.”

He did as she asked, sitting on the side of her bed.

“When you came into my life, everything in it changed, including me—all for the better.” She smiled softly. “But we are much too different, Mike, and it’s not just the age, although that’s a big part of it. I can’t run every time you say how fast, nor do I want to. You’d love a great piece of eye-candy for your arm when you are out in public and let’s be for real—I ain’t the one. As much as you say otherwise.” She paused a moment. “And what about a family, Michael? I—”

“That’s not important.”

“You say that now. But it will be and it’s not fair to deprive you of that.” She glanced down at her folded hands and slipped the ring from her finger. She handed it to him.

He shook his head. “Don’t do this.”

“It’s the right thing to do.” Her voice broke.
“You brightened my world, you gave me love when I didn’t think it would come my way again. For that I will always be grateful, and I will always love you for it. But…this won’t work between us.”

Michael drew in a long, shaky breath. “You keep the ring.” He stood and looked down at her. “I don’t ever want you to forget that you were and always will be loved by me.” He leaned down and tenderly kissed her forehead. “Be happy.” He turned and walked out.

Barbara hugged her arms tightly to her body and rocked back and forth on the bed. She wanted to go after him, tell him she was just afraid, that what she said was a mistake and that she was sorry. That wasn’t the answer. She knew it wasn’t. As much as it was tearing her apart inside to know that she’d hurt him, she knew she did the right thing.

Tears of acceptance slid down her cheeks. She was back where she started. She turned the ring around in her palm, the light dancing off the perfect stone. Hopefully, she was a little wiser.

“I’
m glad you made this decision to take out the restraining order, Steph,” Tony said as they pulled out from in front of her apartment building. “Now both Conrad and his wife will know that you mean business.” He stole a glance at her somber expression. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good. I wish it wouldn’t have come to this. I feel so stupid.”

“Don’t. We all make mistakes.”

“This was major.” She stared out the window.

“Do you regret telling me?”

She turned her head in his direction. “At
first…yes…I wasn’t sure how you were going to take it, what you were going to think of me.”

“And now?”

“I’m glad I did. It showed me the kind of man you really are.”

“And that’s a good thing?” He winked.

“Definitely.” She squeezed his thigh.

“After this court thing what do you have planned for the rest of the day?”

“Hmm, I have a late afternoon meeting with Terri Wells the PR rep from Sterns & Blac.”

“Oh yeah, about the Pause Man.” He chuckled, dragging out the two words.

She gave him a playful sock in the arm. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, seriously. I always think of women in these kinds of competitions. Guess it’s the old-school guy in me.”

“You should apply. You’d make a great spokesman, not to mention the prizes.”

He vigorously shook his head. “Oh no, not me. I’m definitely not the one. I prefer to be behind the camera, not in front of it.”

“Coward.”

“Oh…so soon we’ve resorted to name-calling. What next?”

Stephanie shook her head and laughed. “You are too silly.”

He pulled up to the light and looked at her with a devilish gleam in his eyes. “But you love me, anyway.”

The L word
. Her chest tightened. She knew she cared deeply for Tony. He was everything she could possibly want in a man and he cared about her for who she was, warts and all. Love? He was kidding—of course. She smiled. “Who wouldn’t?”

His expression seemed to flutter before her eyes as if he’d been surprised by a pinprick. “Exactly. Who wouldn’t?” he finally said, his tone missing its earlier lightness.

Stephanie ran her tongue across her lips and directed all her attention on the traffic ahead, as if she could move the stalled line of cars with her mind.

She’d made a mess of her love life, long before the fiasco with her former boss, Conrad. Much of it had to do with her own lack of esteem and, of course, the guilt about her sister Samantha. There was a part of her that believed she wasn’t truly deserving of love and happiness. As a result she continually found men who didn’t have her best interests at heart, got involved in relationships that
she knew could go nowhere, even as she tried to convince herself otherwise.

Now Tony was in her life and he had no qualms about proving to her that he was for real and wanted to be a permanent part of her life. Was she mentally and emotionally ready for what Tony was offering?

The car drew to a stop. Stephanie blinked. She’d totally zoned out. They were in front of the courthouse.

“Here we are. Do you want me to come in with you?”

“No. I need to do this myself.” She leaned over and cupped his chin in her palm. Gently she kissed his lips then eased back. “Thank you…for everything.”

“For you—anything.”

“I still want you to come meet my sister this evening.”

“Of course.” He smiled gently. “I’m looking forward to it. I know it’s not a decision you came to easily. I appreciate you trusting me enough to let me into such a private part of your life.”

She lowered her gaze. “In all my adult life…since the accident, no one has met Samantha.”

Tony’s brow wrinkled in concern. “What about your parents, Steph? You never talk about them.”

She tugged on her bottom lip with her teeth. Her
parents. That was a joke. “My father has been missing in action since Sam and I were toddlers. He could be sitting right next to me and I wouldn’t know him.” She drew in a breath of pain. “My mom was never really there for us growing up. She was too busy looking for Mr. Right Now. After the accident she totally gave up on us. Came to see Sam one day at the hospital,” her voice cracked, “and never came back. I’ve been taking care of her ever since.”

Tony grabbed her hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to open old wounds.”

She shook her head. “It’s all right. I never talk about it.” She looked into his eyes. “Maybe it’s time that I do.”

“Whenever you’re ready, I’m here.”

She swallowed over the tight knot in her throat and nodded her head. “Well, I better get in there.” She sniffed and blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. “I understand it can be a long process.” She forced a smile.

Tony’s eyes explored her face. “You’re going to be okay. Believe that.”

“I’m working on it.” She unfastened her seatbelt, opened the door and hopped out of the Navigator. She peered into the window. “See you later.
Good luck with the photo shoot.” He was doing a spread for a corporate brochure that morning.

“Piece of cake. I’ll see you back at your place around six.”

“Okay.” She waved and walked toward the steps of the court.

Tony watched her from the window. There was so much about Stephanie that he knew and so much that he didn’t. He wanted to be there for her every step of the way, if she would only let him. She pushed through the revolving doors and merged with the crowd. Tony put the SUV in gear and slowly drove off. Today was a major step for them both. Hopefully they would take many more steps together.

Ann Marie left the office early and went straight home. She needed to talk to Sterling. She thought of the airline ticket burning a hole in her pocketbook and fretted about how she would find the words to explain what she needed to do to Sterling. It was a lot for anyone to swallow but she didn’t see any other way around it. She wanted her divorce and if it took going back to Jamaica and dealing with Terrance for two weeks then so be it.

She flipped on the lights in the apartment then went to her bedroom. Sitting on the edge of her bed, she picked up the phone from the nightstand
and dialed Sterling’s number before she lost her nerve. He answered on the third ring.

“Hey, sweetie. This is a pleasant surprise.” He closed the folder on his desk and leaned back in his leather swivel chair.

“I was hoping I could see you later.”

“Do you need to ask?” He chuckled. “You want to come by my place?”

“Um, I was thinking that I’d fix dinner and we could relax over here.” She felt more in control in her own surroundings.

“Not a problem. Need me to bring anything?”

“Uh, no. I’m sure I have everything I need.”

He paused a moment. “Is everything okay with you? You sound funny.”

She cleared her throat. “I’m fine. Just a hectic day at work, that’s all.”

“Hey, listen we can go out so you won’t have to trouble yourself fixing anything if you’re tired.”

“No. It’s okay. I want to.”

“Well…if you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.” She really wasn’t sure about anything. “So how about nine?”

“No problem. Gives me time to finish up here and dart home for a few minutes. I’ll see you at nine.”

“Bye.”

“For now.”

Ann Marie blew out a shaky breath and hung up the phone. The first hurdle was out of the way, but the big one was yet to come.

She got up from the bed and went into the bathroom for a quick shower. All the while she thought about maybe just getting him drunk and telling him that way.

As the hour drew near, Ann Marie began to doubt the veracity of her plan. Maybe there was some way she could get what she wanted without giving into Terrance’s demands. Good idea, but she didn’t see how she could make it work. If nothing else, Terrance Bishop was good as his word. He would make her life hell. And she had plans to spend the rest of her days in someplace other than there.

The alarm on the oven went off. Her broiled salmon was ready. She took the tray out of the oven and put it on the side counter. She checked the saffron rice with peas and turned that off as well. The chef salad was in the fridge. Ordinarily she would have cooked up a feast, but she wanted to keep it simple. Besides, she didn’t have the concentration for much else.

She took two plates from the glass cabinet and put them on the dining table, flatware from the
drawer and two glasses from the cabinet. Just as she was fixing the place settings the bell rang. For a moment she squeezed her eyes shut and said a silent prayer that the evening wouldn’t turn out as ugly as she imagined.

Wiping her hands on a red and white dishtowel she went to the door and opened it.

Her expectant expression froze along with her body. The last person she expected to see was Raquel.

“I know you weren’t expecting me and I shouldn’t have come without calling.” She fidgeted with her purse. “But I wanted to talk to you—to apologize.”

Ann Marie exhaled in relief. The strain between them for the last month had taken more of a toll on her than she was willing to admit.

“Do you want to come in or stand ‘ere and speak our business in the street?”

Raquel pressed her lips together and walked inside. “Thank you,” she murmured.

Ann Marie closed the door softly behind her then followed her inside.

Raquel took a seat on the lounge chair. Ann Marie sat opposite her on the couch. For several moments an uncomfortable silence took up the space between them.

Raquel cleared her throat. “I…I’m sorry for the way I acted and the things I said to you. I had no right to judge you.” She looked into her mother’s eyes. “I was angry and confused. I never gave you a chance to tell your side. That was unfair of me.”

“Thank you for that. It takes a lot to say sorry.” She paused trying to find the right words to explain the unexplainable to her daughter. “I should have told you the whole story about me and your dad years ago or at least when you were old enough to understand.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Ann Marie sighed, looked off into the distance then focused back on Raquel. “I was ashamed.”

“Ashamed? Why?”

“Of being such a weak woman. Of letting a man have such control over my happiness. Of sitting by and allowing him to run his life as he chose without any regard for me.” She looked at her daughter and saw Terrance and for the first time it was all right. “I never wanted you to see me as weak. I didn’t want that to be the image of what you thought a woman should be.”

“Sometimes love does make you weak.” She thought of her own failed marriage to Earl and inwardly cringed. “But it doesn’t have to make you bitter.” She drew in a breath. “What hurt me the most,
Mama, was not having a father it was not having you. Everyday I blamed myself for your lack of love for me. And I didn’t know what to do to fix it.”

“I’d hardened my heart Raquel. Hardened it to anything good. I cut my feelings off. Too scared to care about anyone that much again. In my mind, love equaled pain and betrayal.”

“It doesn’t have to. Only if you let it.”

“I know that now. Because of you and…because of Sterling.” She sat back and a slow smile curved her mouth. She told Raquel that her return into her life had opened her up again and as a result she knew she was capable of love and worthy of receiving it as well as giving it. Then she went on to tell her about Terrance’s proposition.

“So what are you going to do?”

“I don’t have much of a choice. I was planning on telling Sterling tonight. He should be here any minute.”

Raquel jumped up. “I should go.”

“No.” Ann Marie held up her hand. “Stay.”

“I think it’s best that you deal with this without me.”

Ann Marie flashed a crooked smile. “I was hoping you could stick around for moral support.”

“You’re a big woman,” Raquel teased in a perfect Jamaican lilt. “You’ll be fine.” She fished in her purse
and wrote something down on a piece of paper then handed it to her mother. “In case you want to talk.”

Ann Marie looked at the paper. It was Raquel’s number at the hotel where she was staying. A knot of guilt formed in the center of her chest. “Why don’t you come back here?”

Raquel shook her head. “One hard lesson you taught me was to stand on my own two feet. I have a good job and I’ll be moving into my own place in a couple of weeks. I purchased a condo in lower Manhattan. I’ll be a home owner for the first time.” She smiled brightly.

“That’s wonderful!” She sobered and took Raquel’s cheeks in her hands. “I’ve never told you how proud I am of you.”

“I needed to hear that.”

Ann Marie placed a gentle kiss on her cheek.

Raquel stepped back, her gaze soft. “I’ll call you.”

Ann Marie could only nod her head, afraid that if she spoke she’d burst into uncharacteristic tears.

Raquel turned and left. Thoughtfully, Ann Marie closed the door. For all the mother that she’d never been to Raquel, she’d turned out to be a fine woman in spite of it.

Before she’d gotten halfway back into the house, the bell rang again. This time it was Sterling.

“Hey beautiful.” He kissed her long and slow.

“Hey yourself,” she breathed against his mouth. “Come on in. Dinner’s ready.”

“Smells delicious.”

“Want a glass of wine first or something stronger?”

“No. I’m good.”

“I thought we could eat in the dining room.”

“Rather formal tonight, aren’t we?” He gave her a curious look.

She averted her gaze. “Not at all.” She led him into the dining room then began fixing their plates.

“Something is bothering you.” He stepped up beside her. She focused on what she was doing. “Would you look at me?”

“Hmm.” She gave him a millisecond of eye contact. “What?”

“What is going on with you? You’re not acting like yourself.”

She slid a piece of salmon onto his plate and forced a smile. “Who me actin’ like?”

He clasped her shoulder and turned her around. “That’s what I’m trying to find out.”

She eased out of his grasp. “Let’s sit down. I need to talk.”

She sat at the table in the kitchen. Sterling pulled up a seat. He folded his hands on top of the table. “I’m listening.”