Saving All My Lovin' (8 page)

Her head snapped up. “What do you mean?”

He got up from the bed, naked as the day he was born and strode across the room to stand in front of her. He lifted her chin with the tip of his index finger, forcing her to look him in the eye.

“I mean do you generally go to bed with men and then get up and walk out without a word? Is that how you operate?” His dark eyes raced over her face.

She snatched her chin away. “I don’t know what you mean. I’m going home—where I live. I didn’t know there was a law against that.”

“You know perfectly well that’s not what I’m saying, Ann Marie.”

“What ya won me say? It was good for me, too?” she snapped.

“Yeah, maybe I do,” he said softly, his voice filled with such blatant sincerity, it stopped Ann Marie short. She dared to look at him.

She swallowed. His eyes welcomed her.

“It was,” she whispered.

“Is that a bad thing?” he asked, his tone soft and cajoling.

She nodded her head. “It can be. For me it can be.” She folded her arms as if to protect herself from him.

Sterling reached out to her. His strong fingers wrapped around her arm. “It can be for me, too, Ann,” he confessed. “I’m just as afraid as you are.”

She slowly gazed up at him, her wide eyes luminous and uncertain. “Don’t play me the fool.”

“I’m not.” He unwound her arms and pulled them down to her sides. “I want to give us a try, Ann Marie. A real try. And trust me, I don’t say that easily.” He ran his tongue across his lips. “I know we have a bunch of stuff to get through before we can really see the future clearly. But I think we can do it. If you want to.”

“Do you really mean that—or is it just good sex talking?” She offered up a wicked smile.

Sterling grinned. “Hmm, good sex does have a way of clouding one’s judgment.” He rubbed his chin in thought and Ann Marie poked him in the ribs. “Seriously, though.” He chuckled and threaded his fingers through her hair. “Let’s give it our best shot. At least we’ll know that we tried.”

She thought about how she felt when she looked at him, when he smiled, when he held her, when they made love. She knew that Sterling had cracked open the door that had remained sealed for a long time. Even Phil had not been able to get through the barricades that she’d set up around her emotions.

The safest thing to do would be to leave now, cut this thing off before she got so entangled she couldn’t break free. That way they could both walk away with their feelings and their dignity intact. It wasn’t fair to Sterling to get involved with him while her situation and feelings for Terrance remained unresolved.

She pressed her palms against his chest. “I’ve got to go. I have a long day tomorrow.”

The stunned expression on Sterling’s face froze his features. Before he could recover, she reached for her purse on the chair next to her and walked toward the door.

“At least leave my money on the table on your way out,” he shouted to her retreating back.

Her step faltered for an instant but she kept going, knowing that if she stopped, if she turned and looked into his eyes, she would be lost.

She opened the front door and walked out, closing it softly behind her.

Sterling picked up a glass from the nightstand and hurled it across the room.

S
terling couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so pissed off at a woman. For the most part he’d never cared enough to give a good damn about what they thought, felt or wanted.

He pulled his Navigator into the parking garage next to the building that housed his law office. He barely spoke to the attendant as he usually did each morning, sharing a few barbs about whatever sporting event happened to be on the air the night before. He may have grumbled something as he tossed his keys and slammed the door shut to the oversized vehicle. He couldn’t be sure. He’d been
unable to focus in on a clear thought since Ann Marie walked out on him two nights earlier.

Walked out on
him!
The whole concept was so foreign to him he’d actually scratched his head in disbelief.

He stepped out of the garage and right into a slushy puddle of icy, dirty water. A violent string of expletives shot from his mouth causing a female passerby to jump away in alarm and hold her purse close to her chest.

“Dammit!” he spat one last time, looking down at the mess that was now his shoes and the hem of his Hugo Boss pants. He turned right and pushed through the revolving doors of the building.

A blast of heat hit him in the face in sharp contrast to the biting chill of outside. A thin coating of snow had fallen over night but of course the streets of Manhattan, hot from the massive flow of human traffic and the underground subway system, were no more than a slush fest.

Sterling pressed the button to the elevator and hoped that he had an extra pair of shoes in his office. The elevator door opened and his buddy Nick stepped off.

“Hey man. How’s it going?” Nick asked, tucking his black cashmere scarf into his coat.

“Awright.”

Nick frowned. “Don’t sound awright,” he tossed back in Sterling’s same monotone. “Tough case?”

“Something like that.”

The elevator dinged.

“There’s a gig on Friday night at Innervision. You in?”

Sterling nodded. “Yeah, sounds good. What time?”

“First set is eight.”

Sterling nodded. “I gotta run. Have a case I need to go over.”

The elevator doors slid shut.

“Shit,” Sterling spat. He kicked the elevator door.

Nick grabbed Sterling’s shoulder and peered into his face. “What’s with you? I know it’s not some case,” he said keeping his voice low.

Sterling blew out an exasperated breath, rocking his jaw back and forth. “Nothing. Nothing.”

“Bull. I know you better than that.” Nick glanced around. “Come on, you run your own show. You can get in when you damn well please. Let’s throw back some java and chill for a minute.”

Sterling’s face was a mass of ticks and frowns. His shoulders slumped. “Yeah, awright.”

The two men headed out, dodged traffic and darted across the street to Starbucks.

“Want something exotic or straight up no chaser?” Nick asked as they stood in line.

“Straight for me,” Sterling muttered.

Nick stole a glance at him over his shoulder but Sterling’s gaze was off in the distance.

Nick ordered two black coffees and walked with Sterling to a table in the back. He put the cups in the center of the table.

Sterling went for his without a word and tilted the steaming brew up to his lips.

Nick winced, knowing how hot it was, and Sterling didn’t flinch. He waited a few beats before attacking the matter at hand. “So you want to tell me what bug you have up your ass this morning? And don’t tell me its work.”

Sterling pursed his lips in thought. He put the cup down, glanced out the window at the pedestrians hurrying by. He and Nick had been friends since law school. But what brought them together was their love of music. Sterling had spotted Nick one night in one of the local Georgetown jazz clubs in D.C. while they were both attending George Washington University. Nick was playing with a small band and Sterling was truly impressed with the brother’s skills. After the last set he went up to him and introduced himself, told him he played sax. The rest, as they say, is history. Nick hooked
him up with the band he played with and they’d been buddies ever since.

But they were more than legal colleagues, with Nick practicing corporate law, and they were more than music lovers. Nick was the one true friend Sterling had. He was the only person that he ever shared anything personal with and the same was true of Nick. However, it was Nick who was the most settled of the two. Nick was a solid, married man with two kids and a wonderful wife who was forever trying to hook Sterling up with any one of her eligible girlfriends, much to Sterling’s amuse ment.

“You can’t keep running the streets forever,”

Nick would regularly remind Sterling. “One of these days the right one is going to come along and blow your natural mind.”

Seems like “the day” had arrived.

Sterling sighed, turned away from the window and reached for his coffee cup. “It’s this woman,” he finally said.

Nick’s brows flicked upward but he remained mum.

“Met her a few weeks back. Beautiful, sexy, intelligent, fiercely independent.” He paused and looked at Nick. “And dynamite in bed.”

“Sounds like the whole package. So what’s the issue?”

“She’s not feeling me.”

“Really? And you know this how?”

“She walked out on me.” He snapped his fingers. “Just like that. And right after the most mind-blowing sex.” He shook his head. “I still can’t believe it.”

“Sounds like you got a dose of your own medicine my man. Or maybe your game is falling off.”

Sterling shot him a look of venom. “That ain’t it. Trust me.”

“So then what is it?”

“She’s married.”

“Whoa!” Nick jerked back in his seat. “You’re tapping a married woman?” He leaned forward. “Are you crazy?”

“It’s not like that.”

“Oh yeah. So what’s it like then, Sterling?”

“They haven’t been together in over twenty years. He lives in Jamaica.”

The skin between Nick’s brows bunched together. “Twenty years. Hmm. So what is she doing about it?”

“That’s the thing. After all this time, her husband locates her and wants to see her…and their daughter.”

Nick blew out a breath from between puckered lips. “This is definitely a two-cup conversation…”

Over the next hour Sterling spilled out the story of his meeting Ann Marie, his initial intention of hitting and running, getting caught up in her sensual web and how his mind and heart were now twisted out of shape.

“Wow,” Nick said when Sterling finished. “Sounds to me that you may have met your match my brotha. Have you called her since the other night?”

Sterling shook his head no. “Lost count of how many times I picked up the phone and put it back down. I don’t want her to think for a moment that I’m sweating her, you know.”

Nick chuckled. “But you are.”

Sterling grimaced. “Very funny.”

“Hey, my advice, give the woman a call. Maybe she got scared. All sorts of things could be going through her head. She may be thinking that you may not want to speak to her now. But you’ll never know if you don’t call her. The worst thing that could happen is that she tells you it’s not going to work. And if she does, at least you will know how to move on. But rolling like this will make you crazy.”

“Yeah…maybe.” He finished off the last of his
second cup of coffee. He nodded his head. “But what if she says get lost?”

Nick tipped his cup in Sterling’s direction and raised a brow. “Then beat it.” He chuckled lightly and Sterling smiled for the first time in days.

Ann Marie had taken the day off from the real estate office to work at the spa. She was tired of Carol asking her what was wrong. Since she’d left Sterling’s apartment she’d been a mental mess. Every inch of her wanted to stay, to cuddle, to enjoy the pleasure of being with a man that she truly cared about. But she was so torn. How could she get involved with Sterling, risk her heart and her emotions, when things were still so unsettled with Terrance? It wasn’t fair to Sterling to drag him into the quagmire of her life, especially when she couldn’t be certain why her heart was skipping a beat when she heard Terrance’s voice or thought about the time they once shared. But she couldn’t stop thinking about Sterling and how free she felt when she was with him.

She was staring at the blank computer screen when Stephanie walked up to the front desk.

“Hey Ann, what has your lip hanging?”

Ann Marie’s eyes rose slightly. She shrugged. “One of dem days.”

Stephanie leaned with her elbows on the counter. “Which one is it?”

“Huh?”

“Terrance or Sterling?”

Ann Marie pouted. “Both. Well sort of.” She sighed heavily. She turned to Stephanie and looked her in the eye, kept her voice low. “I slept with him the other night.”

“Oh,” Stephanie said, wide-eyed. “Well…”

“Well what?”

“How was it girl?”

Ann Marie giggled. “Loss for words.”

“You? I don’t believe it. That good huh?”

“Better.”

“Dayum.” She thought for a moment. “So what’s the problem?”

“Don’t think I should get involved with Sterling until I clear up this mess with Terrance.”

“Never stopped you before.”

“This is different.”

“How?”

Ann Marie struggled to put her emotions into words that made sense. Every scenario she came up with sounded juvenile and naïve. “I care about him.”

Stephanie’s expression twisted. “Color me slow, but is that really such a bad thing, Ann?”

“For me it is.” She shook her head. “I can’t go
down that trail again. Falling in love, being committed, really caring about another person.”

“But Ann, that’s what being in love is all about.”

“Not for me. I lose myself. I lost myself with Terrance and it damn near ruined me for good. Maybe it did.” She raised imploring eyes to Stephanie. “And I know if I give in, the same thing will happen with Sterling.”

Stephanie steepled her fingers in thought trying to make sense of Ann Marie’s logic. Here she was with two men who obviously cared about her and apparently gave it to her so good she turned into putty. Most women would give their two front teeth to be in Ann Marie’s shoes. But if anyone knew the devastation brought on by becoming sexually addiction to someone it was Stephanie. Especially when it was the wrong someone.

“Sis, listen to me. Sterling is not Terrance. What Terrance did or didn’t do, you have to let it go. You’ll never know what the future will hold if you won’t kick the past to the curb. Take it from someone who knows. Conrad had me hooked, not only sexually but financially, as well, and it took him raping me to make me finally open my eyes to what I was doing to myself.” She took a breath. “But then I found Tony.” A slow smile bloomed across her polished mouth. “And it’s all good. But you have to
be willing to take that chance.” She covered Ann Marie’s hand with her own. “Call him,” she said softly.

Ann Marie pushed her lips together.

“You know you want to talk to that man.”

Ann Marie smiled. “Yeah.” She dragged out the word like the last note of a song. “I do.”

“Then call the brother.”

The front door opened and Tony peeked his head in and waved.

“Duty calls,” Ann Marie teased.

“We’re going to see
The Color Purple
.” She put on her coat and tucked her purse under her arm.

“Have a good time.”

“I will.”

Tony walked up to the desk. “Hey Ann, how are you?”

“Not bad. Busy, but that’s a good thing.”

“I see some new faces.”

“Yes we hired four people in the last week. Two massage therapists, a front desk hostess and a trainer for the exercise rooms. Tomorrow I’m scheduled to see three people for the café.” She turned to Ann. “Oh, and a guy may come in tomorrow, a Drew Hawkins. He was the one referred by Ron to do security.”

“Security?” Tony quizzed.

Stephanie heaved a breath, thought about dancing around the truth and decided for the time being that was the best option. “Yes, we decided that we needed it. We can’t be too careful.”

“That’s true. Hey, we better get going or we’ll be late.”

“See you tomorrow, Ann.” She lowered her voice. “And don’t forget what I said.” She mouthed, “call him.”

“Have a great time you two.” Ann Marie chuckled as she watched them leave. It was still hard to believe that with all the bad vibes that had existed between her and Stephanie for years, they were ultimately the ones each other turned to. Funny.

She turned the computer screen toward her and pulled up Sterling’s profile. For several moments she simply enjoyed looking at his picture. He did say he loved a challenge, she thought. She was happier with him than she had been for a long time. He knew about Terrance and was still willing to try to work things out. He was good to look at and great in bed and, as usual, when she was backed into a corner by emotion, she turned into a bitch.

Sterling didn’t deserve that. She reached for the
phone and dialed his number. Hopefully, if and when he answered, she would have figured out something to say.

“Oh my goodness,” Stephanie gushed as they exited the theater. “It was absolutely incredible.” The light of her smile was like a beacon as they walked arm and arm down the street. “The singing…” she pressed her hand to her chest. “Makes you want to run out and go to church or something.”

Tony chuckled. “It was good. I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

“I can’t thank you enough. I had an unforgettable time. Wait till I tell the girls. They are going to be soooo jealous.” She giggled.

“You’re going to rub it in their faces?” he asked pretending to be appalled.

Stephanie jerked her head to the side. “I sure am. They all have a man. Let their man take them like mine did.” She hugged his arm tighter.

He looked down at her. “I’m your man.” His tone wavered between a statement and a question.

Stephanie stopped walking and looked directly into his eyes. “Yes. You’re my man.” She reached up and kissed him on the lips. “Don’t
forget it,” she said against his mouth before stepping back.

“That would be pretty hard to do with you being my woman and all.” He grinned.