Saving Dallas Forever (12 page)

Dallas

I had driven Luke back to my office, turning on my side as much as possible; the pain of my ass reminding me that this time when he left, I would not be doing anything stupid. Instead of returning to work, I had agreed to meet Maddie and Red for coffee to fill them in on Luke’s surprise visit. I was dressed in sweats and a hoodie with my hair piled on my head, and no make-up. They took in my attire, and immediately knew that I had had a long night.

“Well, by your disheveled look and your slight limp, I would say Luke fucked you half to death.” Maddie said, once I took a cautious seat with them.

“Something like that,” I responded, taking a sip of my coffee. They wanted details, and I didn’t want to give them any.

“Soooooo,” Red said, looking at me expectantly.

“He was pissed. Very pissed. He threw a chair across my office,” I said, concentrating on my steaming coffee in an effort to ignore the pain of my ass. Maybe that would be enough to pacify them.

“Shit. Is that all?” I looked up at Red. I wondered if she knew what Luke was really capable of. She seemed to know him better than the rest of us. I looked between them, wondering what their reaction would be if I told them everything that had happened. Would they be surprised? Mortified?

“Yep. That’s it,” I lied. I couldn’t tell them. I just couldn’t.

“Liar. Come on, tell us what he did,” Red pushed, intent on knowing exactly what had happened.

“What does Regg do when he gets super mad at you? Like, what would he have done if he had found out you went?”

“He would have killed me,” Red said simply, with a shrug of her shoulders.

“Seriously, Red. What would he do?” It was my turn to press her for information. Maybe Regg was a spanker too.

“I don’t know. I don’t even want to think about it. But if you tell me what Luke did, then maybe it will give me insight on what to look for in the future,” Red suggested, with a wink. Oh, what the hell.

“He spanked me,” I said, trying to avoid their gaze, but found my eyes flicking from my coffee to their faces.

“He what?” Maddie asked, seriously thinking she had not heard me right. Yeah, Maddie. I fucking said it.

“He
spanked
me.” This time I met their gazes, and while Maddie continued to look confused, Red had fully processed what I had just told them. I looked around the coffee shop, embarrassed, as Red almost fell out of her seat laughing. Fucking bitch.

“Are you fucking serious?” she asked, with a laugh. I just glared at her, and she lost it again. “You
are
fucking serious!” I gave her about ten seconds of glory before I decided to shut her up.

“Yeah, funny huh?” I asked, faking laughter. She nodded, her face beet-red from laughing so hard. “That shit’s just too good not to share, huh?” I continued to fake my laughter as she nodded more, unable to catch her breath enough to talk. “So good that maybe we should tell Regg.” Red sobered immediately, and the begging began.

“I’m sorry. Shit. It’s not funny. I mean it is, but I won’t laugh anymore. Don’t tell Regg. He really will kill me.” She was breathing hard, reaching out to lay her hand on my arm, hoping the gesture would emphasize that she meant her words. She was struggling to keep a straight face, but I knew she didn’t want to face the wrath of Regg.

“So you are saying he
spanked
you? Like, with his hand?” Maddie asked, oblivious to Red’s laughing, and my empty threat. She really didn’t seem to get it.

“Yes, Maddie. But he used his belt.” This earned me another snicker from Red, which she tried to cover up with a cough.

“It’s not funny dammit. That shit hurt,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest, and rolling my eyes at them. I should have kept my mouth shut.

“Hey, look on the bright side. At least you still have your teeth.” Red’s comment was serious, but by the looks of all the ol’ ladies, none of them had been subjected to physical abuse.

“Now that you’ve said it, I can see Luke doing that. I mean he has always had some dominant tendencies. He likes control, he gets what he wants, and he has that aura about him that screams ‘I’ll fuck you till’ you pass out.’” Maddie noted, her brain finally recognizing the information and sorting it, delivering a reasonable explanation for Luke’s actions.

“He did that too. He’s pretty good at this thing we call a punishment fuck,” I informed them, glad that I had got this shit off my chest. “But y’all don’t tell the guys, okay?” I asserted, knowing I would be the laughing stock of the clubhouse.

“Hell no,” Red said, zipping her lips.

“Not in a million,” Maddie added, shaking her head, confirming that she would keep her mouth shut. It was nice to know I could trust these two. This would be our little secret.

I didn’t think about Charlie, or the information that he had offered to share with me, for the rest of the week. I focused on work, the daily calls I got from Luke, and building my relationship with Maddie and
Red. Red had explained her outburst, and her reasons for it, to me over drinks the other night. We had gone to The Country Tavern, where she ran karaoke on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights.

“I used to be a dancer.” Those were the words she chose to start our conversation. It took her a few minutes to elaborate, because she had to announce the next singer, leaving me time to consider her comment. I never would have guessed it, but it wasn’t too hard to believe. She definitely had the personality and build. Her arms and legs were toned and muscular, and even in her late twenties, Red had a killer body. “That’s what I was doing when I met Regg for the first time,” she continued once the singer was set up and killing me with a rendition of Bobby McGee. “I saw him come into the club a few times with Luke, but we never spoke. He was a big flirt, and quite a hit with all the girls. I was at a bad place in my life, and didn’t have time for him, or anyone else for that matter.”

“So you have known Luke for a long time?” I asked, knowing they had a history, but not sure how far it dated back.

“Oh, yeah. We grew up together. He always knew he wanted to be a biker, and me,” she paused, smiling as her mind flooded with old memories, “I wanted to be on Broadway.” I noticed the sparkle in her eyes as Red left me and went to a different place, one that she must have dreamed of for many years.

“What stopped you?” I asked, smiling at her reaction to her dreams as if they were my own.

“Cocaine.” My smile died, as Red shrugged, unaffected by her reason or my reaction. “I was an addict. I didn’t have a home growing up with two loving parents and a house full of siblings. I was property of the state and spent my entire childhood in the system. I bounced from foster home to foster home. That’s how I met Luke. I was placed with a family when I was fourteen and they were wealthy, like Luke’s family.” I
watched as Red stopped our conversation to congratulate the horrible singer before playing a setlist consisting of three line-dancing songs, prompting every girl on the patio to get up and dance, leaving her and I to continue our conversation without interruption. “They sent me to the same private school Luke attended. He might have been raised rich, but that boy was hood, giving us something in common. We would meet every day after lunch, and smoke a cigarette together. He was the perfect athlete with the good looks and charm, and I was the poor little orphan girl without a real family. He never let anybody fuck with me, though. Even after I fucked up my chances with a good family and they sent me back, he stayed in touch. I would go hang with him at his Pop’s shop and watch him work on motorcycles. He shared his dreams with me and I shared mine with him. We were best friends. Life worked out for Luke, but not so much for me. He tried to save me, but I was hell-bent on destroying my life. Then, one day, I almost did.” I watched as she struggled with her emotions. Red was opening up; she was showing me a side of her I had never seen. It was hard to watch her go from the hardcore, fun-loving Red, to a broken girl who had nothing. “I was dancing at this nightclub on the coast, making damned good money, catering to high-end clients. The problem was, I was using my hard-earned money on dope when I should have been saving for college. I took too much one night and it almost cost me my life. Luke took me in, treating me to his style of rehab, and that’s when I found Regg. I pushed him away at first, but eventually I let him in. Now, he’s all I have. I mean I have the club, but Regg is what wakes me up in the morning. I go to sleep just because I know it’s his face that will fill my dreams. Once an addict, always an addict, Dallas. Just because I don’t snort cocaine or shoot up doesn’t mean I don’t get high. I’m high on Regg. I traded cocaine for a six-foot, blonde-haired, baby-faced boy with a Harley, and a smile that can light up my darkest day. So, you can see why it bothers me that Luke has something to focus on other than his brothers. I know Luke would never let anything happen to them, or he would die trying. He is a great brother, leader, and friend. It’s just easier to focus the blame on someone. And that someone just so happens to be Luke. I don’t like Regg being gone, but I would rather go back to being a drug addict, all alone with no one to care whether I am alive or dead than to ever see anything happen to the people I love. That includes you.” She leaned forward, poking her finger into my shoulder, so that there was no mistaking to whom she was referring. She smiled and let out a deep breath, fighting hard to keep her tears at bay. The conversation was over, and, although our trip down memory lane had ended, our journey toward the future, and our promising lifelong friendship, had only just begun.

Friday, Maddie had come to spend the day with me and I was glad I had taken Lindsey’s advice to find out more about Maddie from Maddie’s point of view. Our conversation had started when memories of her own mother were triggered once I showed her the hope chest full of things my mother had left for me.

“I was born Candice Madison Pittman. I was nicknamed Maddie by Frankie, who refused to call me Candice because it reminded him of a stripper that stole his wallet named Candy.” Maddie laughed, and I joined her, my memories of Frankie not as pleasant as hers, but even I found humor in him saying that. “My mom didn’t like it at first, but it grew on her eventually. She was such a romantic,” Maddie said, pausing to look at a picture I had of my mother and father kissing. “She would always read these books with these heroes that rode white horses and shit, and tell them to me as bed time stories. Frankie wasn’t around much, so most of our time was spent with just the two of us. When she died, Frankie tried hard for the first few weeks, but he couldn’t handle it. I hardly saw him after that. I spent my life with the club, looking up to Red and Luke. Red was a junkie, and Luke was always going on runs, working hard trying to prove himself. I spent a lot of time with Pops, and they all tried like hell to shield me from the life,
but it found me and I welcomed it.” She turned her head, dabbing at the corners of her eyes with her fingers to stop her tears, as she struggled to continue. I knew this was painful for her. Talking about her mother was bad enough, but Brooklyn had shared with me a small bit of her story, and I was aware of what was to come. We were sitting on my bed, our backs against the headboard, with a box of old pictures strewn out around us. When she gathered her composure, her eyes landed on a picture of me and my ex-boyfriend Sam, sharing a kiss on the beach. “That’s when I met Brett,” she continued, as I remembered that Brett was Logan’s dead-beat father that was no longer in the picture. “He was such an asshole.” Luke’s signature smirk had rubbed off on Maddie and she wore it well. “I was such a fool. I just wanted someone who would spend time with me, and show me a little attention. Luke hated him from the first time he met him. Every time Brett left, Luke would say, ‘He’s a piece of shit, Maddie. You are too good for him. I don’t like the way he looks at you.’” I laughed at Maddie’s impersonation of Luke. It was actually pretty good.

“Sounds just like him.”

“I wanted Luke’s attention. Negative attention was better than no attention, and I got plenty of it when I started seeing Brett. When Luke told me I couldn’t see him anymore I rebelled. I knew I didn’t love Brett, but I didn’t care. Then I got pregnant. Luke was furious at first, but then he told me that he would help me take care of the baby, and I didn’t need Brett. But Luke was so busy with the club that he wasn’t there all the time, and I began to get lonely. He called to check on me, but that was about it. When Logan was born, Luke was at the hospital, but so were Frankie and Brett, so it was a little awkward. Luke didn’t stay long, and I was on my own again. The calls from Luke came less and less. He still cared about me, and was worried, but I was living my own life with a baby and Brett, and Luke was doing his own thing with the club. Then Brett lost it one night. I had Logan in a high-chair in the kitchen, and I caught Brett and his buddies smoking dope in front of him. I later found that they had been blowing it in his face, but at the time I had no clue. If I had, I probably would’ve tried to kill him that day. When I started screaming at Brett, he snapped. He had slapped me around before, but this time was different. He wouldn’t stop. Luckily, we were living in a cheap apartment, and the walls were so thin that the neighbor heard the baby crying later that night, and came over to check on me. She beat on the door, but I was unconscious. Soon the police came and I was admitted to the intensive care unit, and Logan was placed in foster care. When I finally did wake up after being in a coma for three days, the only person I wanted was Luke.” Maddie opened her mouth to continue then shut it, her dark memories taking her far away. She turned her head to me, her eyes brimming with tears that were threatening to spill out over her long lashes. “When Brett was beating me, Dallas. When I knew he wasn’t going to stop until I was dead, I didn’t cry for help. I didn’t scream for someone to call the police. The only person I screamed for was Luke.” I felt like vomiting at her words. I had done the same thing. I had screamed for him over, and over, and over. Then later when I was angry at him, I had told him what I had done. No wonder it had hurt him so bad. Not only did he feel like he had failed me, but the memory of him failing Maddie was thrown back in his face. “When I saw his face in that hospital room, I knew my life would never be the same, and neither would his. I believe everything happens for a reason, and I thank God that Brett did that to me. If he hadn’t, Luke might not have ever quit doing the shit he was doing.” She wiped her eyes, taking a deep breath then blowing it out slowly, nodding her head as if she was having a mental debate and had found a side to agree with. “Shit changed after that. Luke found me an apartment and set me up with a job as a secretary for his father. I got Logan back and Luke’s nanny became my new best friend. She took care of Logan while I worked and got back on my feet. Luke took the club in a different direction. He used the money your father had paid him to protect you to invest in the bar. He got his own shit together, and started working for his father, becoming a partner in almost no time at all. Everything was perfect, and then Luke saw you that night in the bar and couldn’t resist you. I knew when Red called me and said the two of you had left together that nothing would be the same. I expected the worst and got the best.” She nudged her shoulder against mine, and I found the opening I needed to ask her the question that had been gnawing at me since this conversation had started.