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Authors: Stephanie Hoffman McManus

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Chapter 13

Chris

 

“Is she okay?” I asked
the guy on the phone. The other Chris, as he’d informed me when Mia handed the
phone over to him.

At first I’d been annoyed
when my ringing phone woke me just after midnight. Then I heard Mia’s soft
voice whispering my name and it was like everything in me instantly relaxed. I
don’t know why, but then she didn’t speak again and I was afraid something was
wrong. When she did finally say something, I knew she was drunk. I quickly
transitioned into angry and irritated with her, but she’d handed the phone off
before I could find out where she was. As soon as that guy said that she fell,
worry had overtaken everything else I was feeling.

“I think so. She’s just
really drunk. I’m pretty sure she just passed out.”

“Passed out? How is that
okay?”I asked angrily.

“Well, I don’t think she
hit her head when she fell.”

“How much has she had to
drink?”

“No idea, but I’d guess
a helluva lot. She was pretty smashed when I found her a few minutes ago.”

“Found her? Was she by
herself?” I was starting to panic.

“No, well yeah. I mean,
we’re at a party. She came with some people, but they’re not around now. I
brought her outside so hopefully she could sober up and I could get her a cab
home, because I’m not in the condition to drive either, but now she’s sleeping
on the steps.”

“Shit. You sure she’s
okay? Could she have alcohol poisoning?” I was already throwing on my jeans and
searching for a shirt and my car keys.

“I don’t think so. She
was slurring her words a little and she couldn’t walk straight, but she was
still with it enough to carry on a conversation and argue with me, and she
didn’t get sick. Well not yet, anyway. I’ll try waking her.” I heard him
talking to her. I slid my feet into my shoes and, keys in hand, hurried out the
door to my car, climbing inside and starting it up while I waited.

He came back a minute
later. “Okay, she kind of woke up. I got her to talk to me, but then she went
back to sleep. I think she’ll be fine, but what do you want me to do with her?
I can’t really just shove her in a cab, and I don’t trust anyone else here to
get her home safely.”

“Tell me where you guys
are at.  I’ll come get her.”

He spouted off the
address and then I hung up, plugging it into the GPS on my phone. I wasn’t too
far away, just a ten minute drive from Ace’s neighborhood. I was worried about
Mia though, and I made it less than that.

When I pulled up outside
the place, I could see a guy, presumably Chris, sitting on the stairs, with a
passed out Mia beside him, her head resting on a step. They appeared to be the
only ones outside. I jumped out and made my way over to them.

“Oh shit,” the guy
exclaimed, quickly rising to his feet when I stepped up into the light shining
from the porch. “You’re –”

“Yeah, I am. Has she
woken up again?”

“No,” he answered, still
struggling to get over his shock. “Wow, just shit. Now I get why she was so
insistent that I wasn’t you.”

“Can you help me get her
into my car?” I bent down, scooping her up into my arms. She barely stirred,
just enough to rest her head against the crook of my shoulder. She was so
small, and looked incredibly innocent and fragile in her sleep. It was easy to
forget why I was so mad at her for doing this to herself. Almost.

The other Chris picked
up a purse from the steps and then hurried to open my car door so I could slide
her in and buckle her in the passenger seat. I turned to see him digging in her
purse. I was about to grab it from him when he pulled out a pen and a slip of
paper, proceeding to scribble something across what looked like an old receipt.
He then handed both the purse and the paper to me.

“Will you give her
this?” I looked down and saw that he’d written his name,
Kris,
with a
‘K’ and a phone number under it.

I frowned and raised one
eyebrow at him, “Seriously? You want me to give her your number?”

“Not like that. I just
didn’t figure you’d give me hers. I want her to call me tomorrow so I know
she’s okay.”

I snorted, “It’s you
assholes she was partying with that let her get in this state.”

“Hey man, I’m not the
one who brought her to this party and then ditched her. I’m the one who got her
out.”

I let out a heavy breath
and then slid the paper into my pocket. “Yeah, I’ll give it to her.”

“Thanks.”

“No, I guess I should be
thanking you for getting her out of there.”

“You could tell me how
it is that you know Mia.”

I chuckled and shook my
head, walking around to climb in the driver’s side, but he called after me.

“Hey, can you also tell
her I’ll keep her secret.”

“What secret?”

“If I told you, that’d
make me a liar now wouldn’t it?”

“Whatever. I’ll tell
her.”

I was a few blocks away
when I looked over at sleeping Mia, and tried to decide what to do with her. I
didn’t feel right just dropping her at her dorm, and I wasn’t even sure that
I’d be able to get her inside at this hour. My only option was to take her back
to Ace’s with me, so that’s what I did.

I carried her inside,
depositing her right on the bed in the guest room she’d been using. I made sure
she was on her side, and then leaned down, brushing my hand over her cheek to
push her hair out of her face. My knuckles traced over her clammy skin. I
sighed and rested my palm on her cheek.

“Mia, what are you
doing?” I softly asked her unconscious form. She stirred slightly, her eyes
blinking a few times before opening and focusing on my face that was lowered to
hers.

“Chris,” she sounded
breathless and slightly confused, and then her face twisted and she started to
sit up. “Oh God, I think I’m going t be sick.” Then she was. Thankfully I
stepped back in time and cleared it, but she vomited all down the side of the
bed and her clothes in an attempt to get up and rush to the bathroom. I helped
her make it to the toilet before the next round, and then she continued to
heave, emptying her stomach into the porcelain bowl, as I held her hair out of
her face. I could see tears running down her cheeks in ugly black streaks.

“Go away,” she cried in
between heaves. She attempted to bat the hand that was wrapped around her hair
away, but I didn’t let go, and then she moaned and both her hands gripped the
seat again as she let loose with another round of vomiting. When she was
finally done, and even the dry heaving had ceased, she collapsed, sliding all
the way down to the floor. I released her hair, and let her head gently rest
against the floor. I grabbed the cup that was sitting on the counter and filled
it with cool water and the forced her to sit up enough to drink the contents.

When she had downed it
all, she handed it back to me and then laid down on the floor again. I stared
at her sympathetically for a moment before going to retrieve stuff to clean her
up. I grabbed a large t shirt from my room and then returned to the bathroom
and dug a couple wash cloths out of the cupboard, wetting them under the
faucet.

When I dropped down
beside her, she appeared to be asleep again. I sighed, hesitating a moment
before accepting that I didn’t have much choice, and pulled her shirt over
head. Next I struggled to strip off her vomit splattered jeans, cursing the
damn skinny jeans that were practically painted on. Once I had her clothes off,
I refused to let my eyes drop from her face. The pungent smell of vomit served
to keep things in perspective for me as I used one of the damp rags to wipe
down her face, tossing the disgusting thing in the hamper when I was done,
along with her soiled clothes. Then I used the remaining wet rag to wipe down
the rest of her clammy skin, unable to avoid her almost nakedness any longer.

I squeezed my eyes shut.
She was beautiful. There was no use in trying to deny it. Even the mess that
she was couldn’t take away from all that beautiful.

I hurried to finish
cleaning her up so I could get her covered again, but she started to come to
again and then tried to sit up and protest. “Don’t. I don’t need you to take
care of me. You should have just left me.”

“Maybe I should have,” I
said tightly. “But I couldn’t do that, and right now I’m all you got, Mia,
since you clearly can’t take care of yourself.” The fight left her then, and
another tear ran down her cheek. Her body sagged, and she lowered the back of her
head to my lap. Her eyes were closed tightly, but the tears still escaped the
corners and slid back into her hair.

Fuck, it was so hard to
stay mad at her. I wanted to comfort her and tell her it was okay, but I couldn’t
do that. Instead, I wiped the tears away with my thumbs and then continued to
clean her up. I felt when she relaxed back into sleep. Once I had cleaned the
sweat and vomit from her skin, I maneuvered her into my shirt and then I just
stared down at her for a moment.

“Why Mia, why do you do
it?” I whispered, and then saw her eyes crack open.

“I’m sorry,” she
muttered quietly and then her eyes closed again.

I got to my feet,
picking her up with me. Her bed was still a mess so I couldn’t put her there. I
carried her across the hall into my room, and set her on my bed, before
returning to her room. I stripped all the bedding, carrying the sheets and
blanket into the bathroom and dropping them in the hamper. Then I carried the
entire hamper out to the laundry room, putting everything in to wash. Then I
found a set of clean sheets and a spare blanket and remade the bed.

Walking back in my room
to get her, I came to a stop at the edge of the bed. She had snuggled deep in
my blankets and was hugging my pillow closely to her body. Fuck, was it so wrong
to want to leave her there?

Yes, but I wanted to
anyway.

Something about seeing
her there made everything else stop, like there was nothing else. Just me and
her, and she was mine to take care of. Mine to hold if I wanted. But she
wasn’t, and it was such a conflicting thing to feel when I was still so frustrated
with this whole mess.

I had to force my feet
to move to her side of the bed instead of climbing in next to her and pulling
her into my arms. She sighed deeply when I picked her up, and then burrowed
into my arms, her sleepy head on my chest. I held her tighter. Everything this
girl made me feel was wrong and confusing. How could I be so mad, and yet feel
this thing tugging on my insides at the same time?

I carried her back to
the guest room and placed her down on the freshly made bed, tucking the blanket
around her. I made sure the heavy blinds and curtains were both closed, hoping
that would help her to sleep through the morning. She was going to be in hell
when she woke up. I went and got a bottle of water and pain killers, setting
them on the nightstand, knowing she would need those later.

I left the door to her
room open, and mine, so that I would be able to hear if she got sick again.
Then I stripped out of my clothes, seeing the small scrap of paper that fell
from my jeans pocket. I picked up the note with Kris’ phone number and set it
on my dresser so I would remember to give it to her in the morning. I wasn’t
sure about the guy, but he had gotten her out of that party and stayed with her
instead of leaving her to fend for herself. I just hoped he wasn’t like the
rest of her shitty friends. I wished she could see that they were not really
her friends. They obviously didn’t give a shit about her.

They should have been
the ones that held her damn hair back while she puked her guts out, and made
sure she got home safe. Yet, here I was taking care of her. This situation was
totally ass backwards. They didn’t care enough, and I cared too much when I
shouldn’t.

Chapter 14

Mia

 

I sat on the
bed in my dorm, staring at the scribbled handwriting on the back of my BU bookstore
receipt. I didn’t remember everything from last night, but I remembered enough,
hence my reluctance to call Kris with a
‘K’
. I didn’t know if I was
actually going to be able to work up the nerve to make the call when I felt so
completely mortified. I didn’t even know him, but I called him Legolas. And a
liar. Then he’d essentially taken care of the train wreck that was me last
night, until the
“real”
Chris, came to my rescue.

Then he’d
given Chris his number and a message to pass along this morning, which he had.
I still didn’t know what he meant by that. What the hell secret had I shared
with him last night? I couldn’t remember telling him any secrets, unless he
meant my friendship with Chris. If that was the case, I wasn’t so sure that
there was anything to keep secret after the long lecture and reaming he gave me
this morning before I bailed from Ace’s.

My morning
was already crap, so I didn’t see how it could get much worse, which is maybe
the only reason I finally gave in and called the number on the paper. He didn’t
answer. Probably because it was Monday, and everyone who wasn’t as hung over
and miserable as I felt, was in class. I left a very brief message on Kris’
voicemail, basically just squeaking out my name and then quickly hanging up. I
fell back on my bed and pulled a pillow over my face and groaned. I would still
be in bed back at Ace’s if Chris hadn’t barged in and started chewing me out.
Now there was too much on my mind to go back to sleep.

Sadie’s
impending return this afternoon was hanging over my head. I’d begged and
pleaded with Chris not to tell her about last night. I’d promised him I
wouldn’t so much as look at another bottle of alcohol. He hadn’t been happy
about my request, but he hadn’t been happy about much of anything this morning.

For about
thirty seconds, I’d thought I was in heaven when I woke this morning in nothing
but my underwear and a large t-shirt that smelled like Chris. I had vague
recollections of being in his arms.

Then the
pounding started in my head, and my mouth tasted like something died in it
overnight and my stomach started rioting. That was when everything from last
night started sinking in and I realized it was official that I was the world’s
greatest jackass and Chris was pretty much the sweetest guy ever, maybe even
eligible for sainthood, for dealing with me. 

Of course,
then the much less sweeter version of Chris came in and made me feel ten times
worse. Not that I could really blame him after he cleaned up my vomit last
night. That was about as humiliating as it got and I didn’t know if I would be
able to look him in the face after today.

Hell, he’d
practically stripped me naked, but I’d been way too out of it to even enjoy it.
Not to mention, the fact that he was cleaning up my vomit kind of took all the
sexiness out of it.

I truly
meant it when I told him it wouldn’t happen again. Living through that
humiliation was enough, then having Chris add on to it by throwing in my face
how reckless, immature and irresponsible I’d been, only made the embarrassment
and shame worse. No way did I want to go through it again.

I understood
his frustration and anger, but when he’d been yelling at me this morning, I’d
just wanted to shout back at him and ask why he’d even bothered coming to get
me, but I didn’t. I kept my mouth shut, blinking back hot tears, until he
stormed back out of the room. Then I saw the neatly folded clothes sitting on
the dresser and realized he’d also taken the time to wash my things. There was
no holding back the tears then. I was such an idiot and in one night had
probably ruined whatever shreds of friendship had existed between us. I gave
myself that moment and let the tears fall for about a minute before I pulled
myself together, shoved all the ugly feelings and thoughts down, got dressed
and got the hell out of there.

Now
everything was coming back up to the surface. I wondered if I kept my face
buried under my pillow, if all my problems would just disappear. Somehow I
doubted it, but it would have been so easy to hide out and mope in my room all
day.

Unfortunately,
after a while, my angry and empty stomach demanded I get up and do something
about it. I was hungry, and my shelves and mini fridge were pretty bare,
probably because I almost never bought groceries, and instead opted to eat in
the dining hall or off campus. I dragged myself up and made a note to start
stocking my fridge with actual food for instances like this one.

I eyed my
bed longingly one more time, before very reluctantly forcing myself to shower
and dress so that when I ventured outside, I at least wouldn’t look like the
undead creature from hell that I felt like. I didn’t have the energy or
inclination to care about my hair, so I just pulled it back as much as I could into
a messy bun. Strands fell loose all over, but I grabbed a pair of sunglasses to
hide behind and called it as good as it was going to get.

I nodded and
mumbled a couple of “hi’s” as I passed familiar faces in the hall, but I didn’t
give anyone the chance to pull me into a conversation, quickly moving down to
the elevators. The fresh air felt good when I stepped outside the building. It
did a lot for making me feel human again. It was a nice day out for October,
only slightly chilly with the sun peeking from behind a few fluffy clouds. I
didn’t know what Boston weather was usually like, but in Seattle we’d be into
the rainy season by now, the summer sun almost a distant memory.

The weather was
quickly forgotten when I noticed someone making a beeline for me. My eyes
widened behind my sunglasses and I discreetly started looking for an escape
route. The
someone
was Kris with a ‘K’ and he was striding toward me
with a cocky grin and determined gleam in his eyes.

Crap. He was
even better looking than my drunken recollection of him. Tall, athletic build
and prettier than any guy had a right to be. I still thought he looked a little
like Legolas with all that pale blonde hair, if Legolas had that whole kind of
trendy, but a little punk, vibe going on. Tight, but not hipster tight, black
pants, a plain white v neck t with a woven button up left unbuttoned and a
beanie covering most of that hair.

It was a
good look for him, not that I thought there would be a bad look on him, but he
looked the kind of good that made girls whip their heads around for a second
take as he walked by. It was too late for me to run back inside to avoid him,
but at least my shades kept him from witnessing the way I just so thoroughly
checked him out.

“Hey Mia,”
he said with a wide grin as he neared the spot where my feet were rooted to the
ground.

“Uh, hey
Kris.”

“Oh, so you
believe me now,” he teased.

“Yeah, sorry
about that. Did you, uh, get my message?” I awkwardly looked down.

“You mean
the one where you said, ‘It’s Mia’ and then hung up? Yeah I got it.” He was
still smiling.

“Okay, good.”

“You want to
go get some lunch? Or is this breakfast for you?”

“Ummm,” I
hesitated, but then couldn’t really come up with a good reason to say no.
“Sure.”

We ended up
at a little café not too far from campus with plenty of greasy food on the
menu, which was absolutely what my body was craving. I ordered a cheese omelet
with extra bacon, a huge plate of hashbrowns and toast, even knowing that it
meant I was finally going to have to find my way to the fitness center on
campus. Kris looked at me in awe, but then ordered the same thing himself, only
he got the loaded omelet.

“So, I guess
I should say thank you for making sure I didn’t end up passed out in the bushes
last night,” I told him after the waitress had taken our order and our menus.

“Or in
Leland Taylor’s bed again,” he said bluntly.

I grabbed my
glass of ice water and took a sip, not wanting to look him in the eye. “So I
told you about that huh?” I certainly didn’t remember it, but I wasn’t
altogether surprised considering my state of mind and how pissed I’d been last
night.

“Not
exactly, but it seemed pretty likely after you called him a douche monkey, ass
face, jerk hole, and then said you were going to
‘merc his ass’
.” I
looked up at his face to see him smirking at me.

“You should
probably just put me out of my misery now,” I groaned.

“What fun
would that be for me? I like you Mia,” he stated plainly and that made me feel
slightly better and less like I needed to find a hole to crawl into. I guess
that meant it was time to ask him what I’d been wondering all morning.

“So what did
you mean when you told Chris that you’d keep my secret?”

His smile
grew and my apprehension ratcheted up a notch. “I meant that I won’t tell
anyone you’re hiding the drummer for Ashes and Embers’ number in your phone,
since you seemed to be keeping that bit of info to yourself.” Just as I was
about to breathe a sigh of relief, he added, “And I won’t tell anyone that
you’re completely, hopelessly, pathetically in love with him.”

“There’s no
way I told you I’m in love with him,” I retorted. “Because I’m not,” I added. “In
love with him.”

“You are,
but like I said. I won’t tell anyone.”

“Whatever.
Even if it were true, you don’t even know me so why are you being nice to me?
Around here that secret is like gold. The first one, not the second one because
that’s complete bullshit. Why wouldn’t you tell everyone I know him and that
you met him?”

“Like I
said, I like you, and it seems like maybe you could use a friend. One who’s not
going to ditch you at a party to go get high in another room.”

“Wait, what
do you mean? Who was getting high?”

“Your good
friend Jillian. Dawn. That whole group. It’s how they party.”

I guess I
shouldn’t have been so surprised to hear that. I knew a lot of kids in high
school who messed around with pills and other stuff. It was never my thing
though, and after walking away from the wreck that killed Lexi and Emma, I
wanted nothing to do with that stuff. They’d both been so high that night, and
I’d been too drunk to even realize how far gone they were. We all got in that
car, letting Lexi behind the wheel. It was on me and Emma just as much as it
was on her, but I was the only one left who had to live with that.

As much as
it didn’t surprise me that Jillian and the rest of them would be into that
scene, I also didn’t just want to take this guy’s word for it.

“How do you
know that?” I asked him.

“Jillian is
my cousin, not that I like to spread that around.”

“So you’re
not her biggest fan.”

“Are
you
after last night?”

“I don’t
know. She hasn’t done anything to me, except be nice to me and –”

“And leave
you drunk, on your own at a party where you knew almost no one, and it sounds
like it wasn’t the first time.”

“It’s not
her job to babysit me.” I didn’t even really know why I was defending her,
except that she was my only real friend at school. Without her, I knew the rest
of them wouldn’t have much to do with me. She’d been nice to me and included
me. So she wasn’t perfect. I think Chris made a pretty good argument this
morning that I too, was so very far from anything resembling perfection.

Our food
came and the Jillian discussion ended. I grilled Kris a little about himself,
and he told me he was in his fourth year of a six year physical therapy program.
He was a native Bostonian and played for the school’s hockey team.

I’d never
been to a hockey game before and didn’t know much about the sport. When I told
him that, he invited me to watch his next game later in the week. It was in
Amherst, which was about two hours away. I told him I would think about it. I
was still a little guarded and leery of him. I had a hard time accepting that
he just wanted to befriend a random drunk chick he’d met at a party. It wasn’t
exactly a shining moment for me, but the more we talked, the more I relaxed.

We spent the
next half an hour talking about random things and it was hard not to like the
guy. He was funny, smart and just sarcastically witty enough that our
personalities clicked well.

“That was so
good. Exactly what I needed, but I think I’m going to have to run for about two
hours to work it all off,” I gave a satisfied groan when I dropped my fork onto
my empty plate.

“You like to
run?”

I laughed.
“No. I workout so that my pants will fit me, but if I didn’t have to, I
wouldn’t. I’ve actually been pretty lazy since school started and haven’t even
bothered setting foot in the fitness center yet. After today though, I don’t
think that’s going to be an option anymore.”

“I’ve got to
workout later. You can tag along if you want.”

I accepted,
mostly because I needed to and I knew working out in front of him would give me
serious motivation not to half ass it, and because I liked being around Kris. He
was a likable guy.

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