Saving Grace (18 page)

Grace pressed herself against the wall beside the slightly ajar double doors. She wasn’t hoping to avoid being seen — little worry of that, the foyer was empty. There seemed to be the same lack of servants now as on her first visit to Sutherland Hall. But the wall lent her support as she worked to steady her breathing and calm her rapidly beating heart, neither of which she could blame entirely on her recent illness.

For the past three days, after persuading Jenny that she was well enough to dress, Grace had attempted to leave her room. At last, this afternoon when Jenny went for her tea, Grace had met with success.

Terse voices came from the other side of the doors — rather,
one
terse voice. Lord Sutherland’s rose and fell sharply, and the few words she made out only added to her worry.

“Expense of such ... ridiculous demands ... penniless.”

She had far too much experience with those sort of words and with the moods her father had been in on the occasions he’d shouted such phrases at her — as if their financial ruin were Grace’s fault.

What awful luck to discover a similar circumstance in Lord Sutherland and Sutherland Hall. Had she known as much, Grace wouldn’t have stopped here that stormy night. She most certainly would not be here now. She was not yet certain why she remained, her maid being uninformed, and Mrs. James being unwilling to speak of it beyond a few words, all hinting at some fault with Grace.

She is mistaken. I expressed no desire to return. I did not want to. Especially knowing of Mr. Preston’s pleasant disposition as I do now.

As they had several times over the recent days, her thoughts strayed to Mr. Preston and their brief encounter at his ball. She’d felt hope during those few minutes that he’d danced with her. Hope and then regret of the action she’d taken to destroy her reputation.

Which will be no better now that I’ve been alone at Sutherland Hall these many days.
Grace pulled her thoughts back to the present and her current predicament. She had to speak to Lord Sutherland to discover where her servants were. Then she would make arrangements to leave as quickly as possible.

One of the doors swung open, and an older, harried-looking man exited the room. Straying hairs combed over the top of his near-bald head flopped in the breeze created as he practically ran across the foyer. His case swung in one hand as swift steps carried him toward the front doors. His other hand reached for the hat and coat that Mr. Kingsley — who appeared out of nowhere — held out. These the man snatched without breaking his stride and was through the doors and down the outer steps in a matter of seconds.

Apparently she was not the only one in a hurry to be gone from this place.

Grace glanced toward the study and then toward Mr. Kingsley again, who was shutting the doors behind the hastily exited visitor. She needed to confront Lord Sutherland before her courage failed altogether, but she also wanted the opportunity to thank his servant for his kindness to a stranger that dark and stormy night, which had been near three weeks ago as best she could tell.

Knowing she might never have another opportunity to do so, Grace crossed the foyer. Kingsley watched her approach with what seemed to be a wary eye.

And who could blame him? She’d witnessed the tongue lashing he’d received for his charity. He might have suffered even worse later.

“Miss Thatcher, do you require something?” he asked as she drew closer. “Is it wise for you to be up so soon?”

“Soon?” Grace smiled. “I’ve been abed more these past weeks than the sum total of the rest of my life. It would be the sin of idleness to return.”

“May I assist you with something?” Kingsley looked toward Lord Sutherland’s study. Grace followed his gaze, guessing that he didn’t wish to be caught conversing with her.

“I only wished to apologize and to thank you,” she said. “I’m sorry my untimely arrival has caused you hardship, but I thank you ever so much for your generosity that night. Had you turned us away, I might not be here today.”

But I might have been at Samuel Preston’s
.

Kingsley frowned. “Lord Sutherland has made me very much aware of that. To accept your gratitude would only prove to him that it was done on purpose.” He gave a slight bow. “Good day, miss.”

As Grace watched Kingsley walk away, a well of hurt rose up in her throat.
How could someone refuse to accept an expression of gratitude?
She’d been in earnest, yet for some reason her thanks had upset him. The back of her eyes stung, so she blinked quickly, trying to push aside his rejection.

Her feelings subdued, she retraced her steps until she stood before the study doors. The room was quiet now save for the slight scratching of a quill making its way across a page. Grace bit her lip.

Perhaps this is not the best time.
From experience, she knew that presenting a man with a request when his mood was already foul was unlikely to produce the desired result. And she did need to convince Lord Sutherland of one more thing — to provide her with transport from his estate.

She’d considered making her request of Kingsley, but now her guilt had multiplied over the trouble — apparently far more than she’d realized — she’d caused him already. She wouldn’t put him out yet again.

Grace closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against the wall, once more going over what she must say to Lord Sutherland and how she must say it. Cowering in front of the man
would gain her nothing; he’d already made it clear how little he respected her. At least at the ball, they’d made somewhat civil conversation when she’d stood up to him. That was the approach she must take today. She would be confident in her request, and he would see the wisdom of it.

Standing straight, she smoothed the front of her dress, then walked to the doors. One of them stood ajar, but the other, partially closed door, she knocked on.

“Come in!” Lord Sutherland barked. “It’s about time, Kingsley. What took so long?”

“It is not Kingsley come to see you, but I.” Grace felt foolish for stating the obvious, but Lord Sutherland’s dropped jaw demanded that she say something.

“What are you doing here?” His eyes narrowed in obvious displeasure as he tapped his fingers upon the desk.

“I came to ask the same thing.” Grace raised her head in determination. “Why am I at Sutherland Hall once more, and how is it that my servants are not here with me? My last recollection is of your rather insistent demand that I make my exit from Mr. Preston’s ball. And now I find myself here.” She held her hands out.

“You’ve been ill.” Lord Sutherland set the pen in its inkwell. “Pneumonia. I’ve gone to no small expense on your behalf.”

“I thank you, but — why?” Beneath her gown, Grace felt her heart thumping wildly.
He is so angry
. “Why did you not leave me at Mr. Preston’s?”

“A question I’ve asked myself more than once,” Lord Sutherland said, his eyes boring into hers. “But at the time, I could not, in good conscience, do so.” He broke their gaze, staring down at his papers again. “You do not look entirely well yet. I suggest you return to your room, and we’ll have this discussion another time.”

Grace made no move to go. She had no intention of being dismissed. She very much wanted to know why he’d felt he couldn’t leave her in Mr. Preston’s care. She guessed it had more to do with the past between the two men than it did with her, and she hadn’t the time or inclination to involve herself in that affair — whatever it was.

“I should like a carriage to be made ready,” she said, attempting to match his commanding tone. “I appreciate your attentiveness, and I shall leave an address to which you may send the list of expenses you incurred on my behalf.” She’d have to take care that Father didn’t discover the bill. She’d have to pay it from the inheritance, further delaying her plans to take Helen and Christopher away, but there was no help for it. For whatever absurd reason, and no matter how much she disliked the man, Lord Sutherland had seen to her care. He would have to be compensated.

“You want a carriage?” He leaned back in his chair. His brows rose, and an almost amused look crossed his face. “You feel well enough to go out?”

“I am well enough to
leave
.” Her foot gave an angry tap on the floor. For all her outward bravado, Grace felt desperate to make her exit. Cold sweat dotted her forehead, and her legs trembled from standing so long. She was not well — or
that
well, at least.

Returning to her room was likely a sound suggestion, but she had to escape this place. She needed to find Miranda and Harrison, to make sure Helen was all right, and to discover what Father was up to now.

While her thoughts spun, Lord Sutherland rose from his chair. He came around the front of his desk and stood before her. “As my —
betrothed
” — he spat the word out bitterly — “you will go nowhere unless I direct you to.”

Grace felt her face pale. “What?” Her voice was barely above a whisper. “What have you done?”
My betrothed. My
betrothed. My
betrothed.

“What have
I
done?” Lord Sutherland’s laugh was sinister. “Samuel Preston posed the very same question the night you fainted in my arms. What a coincidence.” He pivoted away, walking two steps. “I think not.”

“It is no concern of mine what you think,” Grace said, doing her best not to retreat, in spite of her trembling. “I’ve no intention of marrying you.”

He turned again, coming toward her once more. “You should have thought of that before you stayed, uninvited, in my home.”

“It is not my fault your servants put me in the wrong room,” Grace said, her voice rising in pitch to match his.

“But it
was
your fault that
your
servants gossiped about it.” Lord Sutherland stopped before her, glaring down at the top of her head. “Do you deny that you told them to do so?”

Grace drew in a sharp breath.
How does he know?
She stared at Lord Sutherland’s chest, heaving with anger. Her admission would only make matters worse.

“Do you deny it?” he asked again, his voice deceptively quiet.

Grace closed her eyes.
I must tell him the truth.
She said a silent prayer for courage, then lifted her face to his. “No, I do not.”

Something in Lord Sutherland’s countenance seemed to shift. His eyes, though glittering with anger, had seemed almost hopeful. But with her admission, bitter disappointment twisted his mouth.

“I can explain,” she began, more desperate for him to understand than she’d longed for Mr. Preston to know of her innocence. “I did tell my servants to speak of it, but not for the reasons you think.”

“You can stop the pretense now, Miss Thatcher. It was your intention all along to trap a husband, and along the way, you found a way to make the game amusing.”

“No!” Grace exclaimed, shaking her head. “You’ve got it all wrong.”

“Do I?” Lord Sutherland’s brows arched. He took a step closer, forcing her back until her leg bumped the chair behind her.

“Sit,” he ordered.

Grace obeyed, dropping into the chair. It was that or collapse again, and she very much doubted he would catch her a second time. She pressed her trembling hands to her stomach, sick with worry.

“Did you or did you not agree to your father’s scheme to go on a trip for the sole purpose of finding a husband?”

Another truth he will take all wrong.

“Yes,” Grace whispered. She looked at her lap, blinking back tears and feeling too ashamed to meet Lord Sutherland’s gaze.

“Then I see nothing more to discuss.”

She lifted her head and stared at him. “You haven’t heard it all. You don’t understand.”

“Oh, but I have, and I do.” Lord Sutherland’s voice was mocking. He leaned forward, hands braced on either side of the chair, so his face was near hers. “Before coming here, you spent time at both Lord Crosby’s estate and Sir Lidgate’s manor.”

Somehow he
has
heard it all.

“Yes,” she said meekly — miserably.

“And neither offered marriage. They both rejected you.”

Grace hesitated, unsure how to respond. She had little hope that anything she said could change his view of her.
But I must try.

“I did not wish to marry either man,” she explained. “So I —”

“So you were
relieved
when neither would have you.” Lord Sutherland’s voice dripped with sarcasm and disbelief. His eyes narrowed, and his mouth twisted with scorn. “How convenient. But then perhaps you were most looking forward to your next suitor. You were to be a guest at Mr. Preston’s — his
particular
guest — at a ball. Unlike the other men to whom your father was indebted, Preston sought you out.”

Had I only known
, Grace thought for the hundredth time.
Had I known of Mr. Preston’s disposition, I would not be in this mess.

“The only question I have,” Lord Sutherland continued, “is why you stopped here the night your carriage broke down. Why not continue a little longer to Preston’s?” He straightened and took a step back from her chair.

“I should think that is obvious.” Grace sat up and met his gaze. “I was ill. Surely you are convinced of that, seeing how I’ve been unable to remove myself from bed these past weeks.”

“But you
knew
Preston,” Lord Sutherland argued. “Why not go to him for assistance? His property adjoins mine. Had you stayed on the road, you would have had but another quarter hour of travel.”

“I didn’t know him,” Grace said. “We never met until the night of his ball.”

Lord Sutherland’s eyes narrowed once more. “Honesty better becomes you, Miss Thatcher. And I warn you, I will abide no less.”

Grace pushed herself out of the chair and stood before him. “I
am
being honest.”

“Then why did Preston greet you at his ball as if you were old friends? I believe his exact words were, ‘It is so good to see you again.’”

“Because he had
seen
me
before,” Grace said. “Our boxes at the theatre were close, and ...” Her voice trailed off under Lord Sutherland’s knowing stare.

He leaned back against his desk, arms folded. “Do go on. Explain to me how it is that you do not know each other.”