Saving Jazz (7 page)

‘Hey,' she was trying to be upbeat. It was admirable.

‘How are you?' I asked, finally making eye contact.

‘I'm here,' she said flatly, and stared coldly at Jack.

‘Annie,' Jack started, but his voice broke and his lip trembled. ‘I'm so, so, so sorry.'

‘Yeah.' She wouldn't look at him. She hated him, and things were just about to get so much worse. She had to see that video before we got on the bus.

‘Annie.' I watched the orange bus pull out of the Walkers' winery. ‘There's a video.'

‘What?' the colour drained immediately from her face.

‘It's bad,' I said.

‘Show it to me,' she held her hand out. The bus was about two-hundred metres away. I gave her the phone. She watched it quickly, she didn't even flinch, then handed it back to me. The bus doors opened. Jack looked at me. I waved him on. There was no way I was leaving her. I'd wag school with her. We'd talk, figure this shit out.

She made to get on the bus.

‘Wait,' I put a hand on her arm, ‘other people may have it.'

She was on the step above me and looked down. ‘I figured that. So what? There's nothing there they haven't seen already,' she said flatly.

‘But there is,' I was holding the bus up. Al, the bus driver, called at me. ‘On or off, Miss Lovely. Make it quick.'

‘It shows …' I couldn't finish the sentence.

‘Jack and Tommy raping me,' Annie said through tears. ‘Maybe now people will believe I'm not such a whore.'

I followed her onto the bus and couldn't look at Jack as we walked past him to the back seat.

So the first day at school was relatively calm. All the gossip and snide remarks were regarding the photos. I walked with Annie down the hallways, watching the guys huddle over their phones. It was really strange, but knowing there was something worse out there made those photos seem insignificant. It was easy to act like Casey had — defiantly. We — Annie, Jack and me — knew exactly what was on that video. We just didn't know who had seen it or had it in their possession. Jack was our best chance of finding out, but by lunchtime he knew nothing more.

‘No one has mentioned it,' Jack told me. ‘Everyone is only talking about the photos. Maybe I was right after all. Tommy knows how bad this is for
the both of us. Maybe he only sent it to me and you.'

I shook my head in disbelief. ‘Just doesn't fit with his MO. Is he at his dad's?'

‘Guess so,' Jack shrugged, ‘he was meant to leave yesterday. He hasn't replied to any of my texts. Maybe he feels bad about it.'

I may have snorted. ‘That would imply he cared — or had an ounce of compassion in his body. I don't think so. This is his final hand grenade.'

By the time the buses were arriving to take us home, I was starting to believe that the worst thing that was going to happen was Annie facing those photos. Dealing with that reputation. And when I assessed it like that it wasn't anywhere near as bad as what we had feared. It would blow over, like it did for Casey. We were defiant enough — we could carry it off. We could face them all — the slut-shamers — and just be like, ‘Whatever. So what? I don't care.' But this time, actually and truly mean it. Maybe — and I guess at this point I was getting a bit fanciful — our defiance would take the sting out of this kind of shit. That if other girls saw how Annie handled those pictures, if other girls saw that Annie was so ‘in-your-face, I
don't give a flying fuck', then maybe it would end this kind of terrorism. And terrorism might sound like an exaggeration, but that is what it was. It took bullying to a new level. Gone were the days when you lived in fear of what someone could do to you. Now you lived in fear of your worst mistakes being paraded around the globe to take you down. And there was no defence because ‘you asked for it'. Well, maybe there was. Maybe we had unwittingly stumbled on an end to social and emotional terrorism. If there was nowhere for it to land — then it had no effect. Right?

Sometimes optimism has no place in this world.

Despite feeling so positive about the video never emerging, the sledging on Facebook increased overnight and into the next day. The picture of Annie face-down with Tommy's obscenity written above her arse had been tagged to people beyond Namba. There were two guys in particular who made the most offensive comments and received the most Likes and responses. These two guys were getting off on the celebrity that Annie's picture was giving them.

BEN RITCHIE

My anaconda don't… Likes: 234

DAMO MILLS

Looks like Tom's anaconda does! Likes: 256

Underneath each of their comments was another whole thread of comments. It was like a pyramid scheme. I clicked on their profiles — both were set to private and there was nothing much to see. Two average guys, who didn't know Annie and were just making fun of a random picture. Suzie Quinn was another commenter who caught my attention. She was full of such hate.

SUZIE QUINN

That dirty slut makes me sick. Total whorebag. Likes: 124

Her profile was also private, but she had a lot of profile pics visible to the public. I scrolled through them. Mostly selfies — no great surprise there. But one caught my eye — a typical bathroom selfie with Suzie Quinn in her underwear. Big deal, right? There were girls in our school as young as Year 7 who had posted pictures like that. I wouldn't have thought anything of it except for her vitriol. Who got to set the parameters for what made you a whore
or not? Underwear versus bathers, topless versus top, passed out and dressed versus passed out and violated? It was truly sickening.

Annie texted me.

ANNIE

It's out of control

JAZZY

Who are these people

ANNIE

Fk

JAZZY

Something else will happen. It'll die down soon

ANNIE

I guess. What if it's the video?

JAZZY

It wont be

ANNIE

Im not sure

JAZZY

Remember it makes Tommy and Jack look like criminals

ANNIE

Because they are

JAZZY

Soz. I know. That's what I meant

ANNIE

Still hope it doesn't come out. It makes me feel sick

JAZZY

Me too

And here's the thing. It made me really sick. I know this will make the haters comment on my post but I'll state it anyway. I was worried for Annie, but also Jack. What would happen to him if this went public? Could he be charged with rape? What about his future, if he was labelled a sex offender?

Thank you for the multitude of comments regarding my concerns for Jack. It is very easy with the power of hindsight to see how better to handle things. Unfortunately, at the time I was dealing with things as they happened. My concerns were for two of my friends, my best friend Annie (who had been the victim of a crime) and my other best friend Jack (who had been one of the perpetrators). As for Tommy — I'd just as soon spit on him. I know Jack was guilty but it was easy to blame this all on Tommy. Tommy who had, since the party and the dissemination of the pictures, conveniently vanished.

The photos had gone further by the next day. It was constant — phones being passed, smirks,
laughter and exclamations. I don't know how Annie handled it, but she did. People say that Annie took the coward's way by doing what she did in the end, but Annie was no coward. That week I watched her bravely endure the taunts and hate from kids at school. I know that every night she sat there on Facebook reading and watching the comments. And every day she got up, got dressed and went to school. I know she couldn't concentrate. I know she wasn't really present. She was just there physically, but mentally she was back at Lily's place, not drinking herself into a coma. She was waiting patiently for this to blow over and be replaced by something else. Four days after the party, it was. The video went viral.

We were sitting in Chemistry. I watched Jacob nudge Liam and pass his phone under the desk. Liam mouthed the words ‘What the fuck' and passed it to Scott. Scott's face was sheer shock. He shook his head, and the phone was passed to Jack. Jack went white. Looked up to see me staring at him. I involuntarily shook my head, he involuntarily nodded, we both involuntarily looked at Annie. She
was near the front, head down, trying to pretend she was working out some irrelevant chemical equation. My phone vibrated. I slid it out of my pocket.

JACKY

It's on Tommy's FB

I felt sick. I opened Facebook. The video was there. It started autoplaying on my newsfeed, silently. I texted Annie.

JAZZY

It's on Tommy's FB

I watched her. She couldn't get her phone out of her pocket as Mr Daniels was near her. She waited for him to move off. She looked at her phone for the longest time. It occurred to me she was watching the video again. She didn't turn, she started texting. She didn't see Mr Daniels approach.

‘Miss Townshend, I must assume that is a phone in your lap, as I can't imagine your lap is so interesting it can hold your total attention.'

‘I wouldn't be too sure, sir,' Liam shouted out. Annie's head spun around so fast I thought she would have whiplash. Her face was white, with two bright red blotches.

‘From all accounts it's pretty interesting,' Jacob
added. Mr Daniels squinted at them.

‘That's enough,' he stated and looked at Annie. ‘Phone away or I'll take it.' Annie stood up. ‘Miss Townshend?' Mr Daniels frowned.

‘I need to go to the bathroom, sir,' she said quietly. She didn't wait for his reply, she left the room.

When the class ended she still hadn't returned to collect her books. I raced to the toilets, no sign of her anywhere. I texted and called. No response. She didn't appear at lunchtime. She didn't come to Maths. I wondered where she was, although I figured she must have gone home. I can't say I blamed her. It was on Facebook, it was open to the whole world.

I kept texting Annie, but she didn't reply. She didn't make her presence known on Facebook or Snapchat or Instagram. Shots had been fired and she had vanished.

I was really tired. I'd been up all night immersed in the chat. The tone had changed. Annie was no longer the subject of all the hate. In fact, a huge contingent of girls from school had come out in support of her. The Soul Sisters, girls at school whose mums were like the Real Housewives of Greenhead, led the charge to defend Annie.

TASH HIGGINS

This is a disgusting video. You boys should be ashamed of yourselves. How could you? Please remove this video immediately.

NAOMI MATHERS

You are disrespectful and revolting. Your treatment of that poor girl is horrendous. I've never seen anything as vile in my life. Please remove this.

LOZ JONES

You criminals. Rapists. You disgusting sick animals.

CHARLIE BETTS

You should be reported to the police. Annie honey, I'm so sorry this happened to you.

LOULOU MCCARTNEY

Tommy you are an animal. Jack I'm horrified by you. You make me sick. I hope you get arrested.

Our immediate group was less diplomatic.

SIM LAWRENCE

What the fuck? Take this fucking thing down. Annie inbox me.

LILY PHILLIPS

Is this for serious. I can't believe it. What the fuck are you thinking Tommy? Jack? WTF?? Annie inbox me.

And the comments just kept coming.

Pigs

Perverts

Vile and filthy animals

Jail is too good for you

Castration anyone?

As far as I know, Annie remained silent that night,
and she wasn't the only one. It was noted that I hadn't commented. I, Jazz Lovely, Annie's best friend. The view was that my lack of contribution showed I was clearly on the wrong side. Everyone thought I was in the boys' camp — why else wouldn't I go on a vitriolic rampage too? In light of what happened later, this ended up looking very bad for me too. But the truth was, I didn't know what to say. I wanted to respond, but I just couldn't. I'd seen the video, seen what Jack had done, but there was a tiny part of me that hoped it wasn't exactly that. That it was a trick of the camera, the lighting. It sounds pathetic when I write it now. But I just didn't want to condemn Jack, I didn't want to publicly side against him. I just wanted it all to stop.

As the night progressed, the readership widened. Friends who Liked the video had their friends Liking it too. Tommy had set the privacy on the post to ‘public'. Despite the fact the original post was removed by Facebook, the video kept reappearing on other people's timelines. It had a momentum that was terrifying. By midnight there were schools as far away as Albany commenting. And the further
from Greenhead the comments came, the more hatred they contained — mostly towards Annie. Guys making comments about chicks in the country, how boring life must be out there, asking how to get invited to a gathering, that kind of crap. One guy, Baz something, kept beefing it up. Commenting in his virtually illiterate way on every single post, it got to the point where people finally ignored him until he shut up. But it was horrific, as if what had happened to Annie wasn't the worst thing ever, it was being multiplied a thousand times. All these people getting their fifteen minutes of fame — at Annie's expense.