Authors: Varian Johnson
Mom’s eyes flashed open. “Excuse me?”
“Sex, Mom.” I shrugged, pretending to be nonchalant. “You know, when two people get naked and—”
“I know what sex is, Joshua.” Mom’s fingers twitched as she touched the edges of her hair, like she was making sure it was still there. “What I don’t understand is why you feel the need to discuss it this morning.”
“Look, you brought up Jenn, not me.” I knew I should probably shut up, but I didn’t want to. “From what I hear, they’re really going at it, too. Like rabbits.”
Mom immediately rose from the table. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but I don’t like it. Your father should have never encouraged you to talk to Madeline.”
I watched Mom scurry away to her room. I knew I should feel bad about the way I had spoken to her, but I was tired of her and Dad treating Madeline like a second-class citizen.
Madeline was a good person; she and everyone else in the world just seemed too stubborn to believe it.
* * *
The church service that morning dragged on forever. I sat in the choir stand, praying that Madeline would text me like she had last week.
Of course, my phone remained silent.
As soon as the service ended, I ran down the old dirt path to our hideaway, hoping she’d be there waiting to tell me how much she missed me, like our argument yesterday had never happened.
But when I reached our secret garden, I was greeted with humidity and silence.
Madeline hadn’t changed her mind.
I didn’t really feel like it, but I decided to drop by the nursing home after that. I didn’t want to see the seniors, but I sure didn’t want to go home, either. Upon entering the rec room, I found Leonard, Mr. Rollins, and Ms. Beatrice huddled in the corner. Leonard saw me and waved me over.
“What are y’all doing?” I asked.
“Eating,” Leonard said between bites. “Jennifer stopped by and brought a few strawberry danishes.”
“Not Jennifer,” Ms. Beatrice said. “They’re from Maddie.”
I glanced around the room, like I had somehow overlooked her. “Madeline stopped by?”
“Yeah, and let me tell you, these danishes are a hell of a lot better than some old magazines.” A glob of red jam hung at the corner of Mr. Rollins’s mouth.
I took in a deep breath. I swore I could just make out the smell of vanilla and coffee.
“She left ’bout five minutes ago,” Leonard said. “We told her you sometimes stop by after church, but that just made her move faster.”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “We’re not exactly on speaking terms right now.”
“That’s too bad,” Ms. Beatrice said. “Y’all made such a cute couple. Y’all reminded me of me and my husband when we were courtin’.”
Mr. Rollins took another bite of his danish. “You ain’t missing out on nothin’. Like I said before, females ain’t nothin’ but trouble.” He licked his finger. “Although I sho’ do appreciate the sweets she brought by.”
“You have diabetes,” I said to Mr. Rollins. “You’re not supposed to be eating things like that.”
Mr. Rollins laughed. “At this point, diabetes is the last thing I’m worried ’bout.” He coughed, and in doing so, dislodged the jam from his mouth. “The doctors say it won’t be very long now. This lung has taken just about all it can.”
Leonard shook his head. “Don’t worry. Madeline
brought the low-sugar ones. And she made us promise we’d only give Rollins one of ’em.”
Ms. Beatrice nodded toward an empty chair. “Have a seat, Joshua. You look like you could use some sweets.”
I frowned and tried to remind myself that I was supposed to be mad at Madeline. “I’ll pass.”
“She left one for you,” Leonard said. “She said if you showed up, we weren’t to let you leave until you sat down and ate one with us.”
I crossed my arms. “I don’t like strawberries.”
“She knows,” Ms. Beatrice said. “That’s why she left you a blackberry one.”
chapter 14
A
fter Dad found out about my little discussion with Mom, he grounded me for a week. I didn’t even care.
The day after my punishment ended, Tony dropped by. “Josh, don’t ever get into trouble like that again,” he said as soon as I opened the door. He pushed past me and headed straight for my room. “You are seriously messing up my social life.”
“And hello to you too,” I said, following him down the hallway.
I wasn’t sure if Tony even heard me. He had disappeared into my closet, his hands digging through my sweaters for his stash of condoms. While I wasn’t a big fan
of Tony and Charlotte’s extracurricular activities, I was glad Tony was responsible enough to use protection. Unfortunately, he lived with two nosy parents and an even nosier sister. Thus, he got all the benefits of sex while I was saddled with keeping his condoms.
He emerged from the closet with two condoms in his hand and a dust bunny on his shoulder. “Thanks again, Josh. You know, you’re welcome to dip into the stash as well.”
“Um…I’ll keep that in mind.” I sat back on my bed, where my copy of
Invisible Man
lay waiting for me. Based on a suggestion from Madeline, I had checked out the book weeks ago but hadn’t made it past the third chapter. “So what are you and Charlotte doing tonight?”
He grinned and looked at the condoms in his hand.
“I mean, before that.” I fiddled with my fingernails, nervous as could be, even though I’d thought this through multiple times. “I was thinking maybe we could hang out tonight.”
Tony grinned. “Wait a minute. I’ve been hounding you for months to go out, and now all of a sudden you’re the one suggesting it?”
I shrugged. “I figured now was as good a time as any.”
The smile faded from Tony’s face as he plopped down beside me on the bed. “Sorry about the breakup with Madeline.”
“It wasn’t a breakup. We weren’t even dating.”
“Yeah, but still…”
“No, it’s okay. Maybe it was the wake-up call I needed.” I glanced at Tony’s compassionate face. So far, so good. “So, what do you think? Can we all hang out tonight?”
Tony brushed the dust from his shirt. “Well, Charlotte and I were planning to go to a movie, but I guess we can make it a group thing.”
“The movies? I was hoping we could do something more social.” I took a deep breath. “How about…bowling.”
“Bowling? Are you kidding? No offense, but you’re not exactly the best bowler in the world.”
“Yeah, I know, but I figured it’d be fun. Plus, it’d give me a better opportunity to talk to girls.”
Tony pressed his lips together. Finally, he nodded. “Nothing good was showing at the movies anyway.” He rose from the bed. “Let me call Charlotte and see if she can invite a few of her friends.”
Tony and I walked back to the front door. “Thanks, man. I really appreciate this.”
“Hey, no problem.” He opened the door. “I’m just surprised you want to go bowling. I thought you hated it.”
I smiled. “I guess you could say I’ve had a change of religion.”
* * *
Tony was right, of course. I hated bowling, and I was horrible at it. Every spring, the church had a “Bowling for Jesus” tournament that raised money for the homeless. My team always came in dead last.
As pathetic as it sounded, I was looking for any reasonable excuse to bump into Madeline. Being that she
didn’t return any of the messages I left for her, I knew I couldn’t pop up at the coffee shop; that seemed too desperate. At least with bowling, I could maintain a small amount of self-respect.
I had called the bowling alley earlier that day. They limited league bowling to three days a week, including today, so I figured there was a pretty good chance that Frank would be there tonight.
Of course, Frank was the bowler, not Madeline, so even if he was there tonight, there was no guarantee that she’d be with him. She could have easily been working, or hanging out at home, or perhaps she and Frank could have skipped the bowling alley altogether in order to do God-knows-what. But just the possibility of her being there was enough motivation to go.
Upon entering, I scanned the lanes but didn’t see her. Before I could look any further, I spotted Tony and Charlotte waving me over to a table.
Charlotte stood and hugged me while Tony stuffed the last bit of a corn dog into his mouth. Then he mumbled something, but I couldn’t understand a word.
“He says hello,” Charlotte translated.
“How could you possibly understand what he just said?”
“It’s a gift.” She shrugged. “He actually said you should quit slowpoking and get your shoes, but I was trying to give you the abridged version.” She nodded toward a lane. “I called up a few of my friends, and they’ve already reserved a lane.”
I looked at Charlotte’s friends, all cool-looking, with their designer jeans and perfect hair. They reminded me of the kind of people at her party—the kind that usually didn’t want anything to do with me.
“Now hurry up and get your shoes,” Charlotte said. “Rachel’s already in line.”
My heart sank.
Rachel.
I had hoped that Tony and Charlotte hadn’t invited her, but I should have known better.
Rachel waved at me as I neared the counter. She was decked out in makeup and a top that showed off a little too much of her stomach. I wondered if it was for my benefit.
“I didn’t know you were coming out tonight,” I said.
She smiled. She had gotten a lot better at applying lip gloss. “Charlotte’s trying to hook me up with one of her friends.”
I looked back at the lane. “The one with the earrings or the one wearing the sunglasses?” I knew neither of those guys were the object of her affection, but I had to ask.
She shook her head. “Good Lord, no. Those guys are more into hair care than I am.”
“Good. They’re probably too old for you, anyway.”
“Why do you say that?” She twirled a strand of hair around her pointy index finger. “Seniors can be as immature as sophomores.”
“What would your parents say if they knew you were trying to date someone two years older?”
Rachel started doing that whole giggling thing again. “Well, that all depends on the guy.”
I took a step forward, away from Rachel. The line wasn’t moving nearly fast enough.
All of a sudden, Rachel stopped laughing. “So what happened between you and that girl you were seeing?” She placed her hand on my arm. “Why’d y’all break up?”
I stared at her hand. Her fingers were bony. Light. Nothing like Madeline’s.
“Well…” I thought about trying to explain the technicalities of ending a nonrelationship, but instead I shook my head. “I’m not really sure why things ended like they did.”
Rachel nodded toward the door. “Well, just so you’re not surprised, she’s here. With another guy.”
I spun around. Sure enough, Madeline and a guy I assumed to be Frank stood just inside the entrance. Madeline wore a pair of black boots and a denim skirt. Her blouse was tight and low-cut.
Frank carried a small bowling bag. With his free hand, he waved to a bunch of people on the other side of the building. Then he leaned extremely close to Madeline, whispered something into her ear, and headed off. She started toward the counter, but stopped as soon as our gazes met.
Madeline looked stunned. At first, I thought she was going to run off in the opposite direction. But after a few seconds of hovering, she headed toward me. She could only take mini-steps, her skirt was so tight.
“I’d better go talk to her,” I said to Rachel.
“But what about your shoes?”
I heard her, but I couldn’t have responded if I’d wanted to. My brain was too busy trying to formulate what I was going to say to Madeline.
I met her halfway between the entrance and the counter. “Hey.”
“Hey, Joshua.” She glanced behind me. “Who’s that? Your new girlfriend?”
I looked back at Rachel as she stared Madeline down. “That’s Tony’s little sister.”
“She’s cute.”
“She’s fifteen.”
“Two years isn’t that much of an age difference,” Madeline said. “Frank is four years older than me.”
I looked toward the other side of the bowling alley, where Madeline’s
man
was talking with a group of guys. “I heard you went by the nursing home,” I said. “That was nice of you.”
“I like the old-timers. They don’t bullshit you. They tell you exactly what’s on their mind.” She laughed. “Plus, I think Mr. Rollins has a crush on me.”
Talking to her now, listening to her laugh, breathing in her smell, it was almost like that talk at her house had never happened. How could people who got along so well just up and decide to stop talking to each other?
“They really liked the danishes,” I said. “Thanks for leaving one for me as well.”
Madeline looked down as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “They were just some old pastries we were going to throw out anyway. I figured I’d give them to folks who would appreciate them.”
From the corner of my eye, I could see that Tony and Charlotte had already started the game. Madeline must have noticed too. “You’d better go. You shouldn’t keep your friends waiting.”
I stepped in her path, blocking her from escaping. “Maybe I can come by the coffee shop sometime.”
“Joshua…”
“I miss talking to you.” I took another step toward her and placed my hand on her hip. She didn’t move closer to me, but she didn’t back away, either. “Don’t you miss talking to me?”
“Yes, but…it’s complicated.” She placed her hand on mine. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me. Just tell me—”
“What’s taking you so long? I thought you’d have that pitcher by now.”
Both Madeline and I jumped. I turned to see Frank grimacing at me.
“Sorry, baby.” Madeline dropped her hand and backed away from me. “This is my friend Joshua. The one I told you about.”
Frank’s face immediately relaxed. He even smiled. “Yeah, the preacher’s kid.” He shook my hand. “I’ve heard a lot of good things about you.”
Unfortunately, I could not say the same about him.
Frank wrapped his arm around Madeline’s waist; his hand settled right where mine had just rested. “Now, I know y’all are friends and all, but don’t go turning Madeline into some type of saint.”
“Me, a saint?” She wrapped her arms around his neck.
“You know me, baby. Why be good when it’s funner to be bad?”