Saving This (The McCallans #5) (21 page)

He kissed her skin again until his lips were right against her pussy. He let his tongue loose, pressing against the arousal he could taste, and nipping at her clit with his lips. She moaned again, a sound so fucking sexy and rewarding, Max wanted to plunge his cock deep inside her. When she fisted the hair on the back of his head and released a pleasure-filled whimper, it only turned him on more.

Her hips lifted off the bed. He could feel her legs quiver every time he hit those sensitive nerves in her clit. God, he could make her buck and squirm and it was the best thing ever. With his mouth still kissing and sucking, he slid two fingers against her wetness at the same time, massaging her entrance before he slipped them inside. He wanted her to feel that pleasure, that release…for her to come all over his hand to prove he’d done the job right.

When that moment hit, he didn’t watch her release down below. He felt her walls tighten around his fingers and the wetness increase, but he couldn’t take his attention off her face: her mouth, her eyes, her teeth biting that lip. Fuck, it was the hottest thing he’d ever seen. To be a twenty-eight-year-old man and to have never taken the time to experience sex like
this
…was ridiculous. He instantly regretted every selfish moment of sexual gratification he’d ever had. It was downright shameful, and at the same time, now one of the best schooling experiences of his life.

He could feel all of it in his heart.

Max removed his clothes, eager to fuck the hell out of her. It was the first time he really felt like the passion and desire to continue connecting with her might not stick around. It wasn’t about personal gratification this time. It was about indulging in something so mutually exclusive that it beat any other accomplishment in his life and he wanted it to last.

His lips were now on her mouth; her fingers were tangled in his hair, gripping it tightly. It hurt, but it was a good hurt. The
best
hurt. And the more pain he felt from her pulling his hair and piercing his skin with her nails, the harder he drove into her. The headboard hit the wall, not just once but several times, and when he realized how much noise they were both making, Max thought that maybe he needed to slow it down a bit. He definitely hadn’t meant to be so rough.

He slowed his rhythm, taking more time to pull out and slide back in; gentler kisses on her lips, his tongue making deliberate love in her mouth. He looped his arm under Anna’s left leg and applied a different angle.

“Oh God,” she moaned, her breathing picking up again. “Max…Jesus…”

And bam, release number two.

Chapter Twenty-Four

It was the worst feeling in the world. A rock in the pit of his stomach and bitterness lingering in his throat. Giving Chase back to his mom was comparable to a car wreck that left you scared and somewhat disoriented.

No, Max had been in one of those… This was worse.

“I want you to call me whenever you want, okay buddy?” he asked, glancing into the mirror at Chase in the back seat of the truck. He watched him nod, and even though Max had more to say, he just couldn’t. What would be the point? Kate didn’t give a fuck what anyone else wanted. He could request one tiny show of humanity from her and it still wouldn’t matter.

Kate doesn’t control the love you have for your son,
he reminded himself. And it was true. No matter what other people did in his life or around him, he couldn’t let it control his own actions.

He pulled to a stop at a red light.

“Chase?” he asked to gain his attention again. When Chase’s big brown eyes connected with his in the mirror, he added, “I love you, pal. Okay? Daddy loves you, and I really miss you when you’re not around. Will you always remember that?”

He waited for Chase to nod his head. He did, but didn’t say a word in response. Max wondered if Chase knew what love was or if Kate ever said those words to him. He’d never heard his son say it in return, and even though that was something he might not ever hear, he at least wanted his kid to know
he
loved
him
no matter what. Maybe Chase was getting so used to being around an array of faces that he wasn’t in need of anyone in particular.

The thought stuck with him as he navigated the familiar streets of Beverly Hills until he pulled into the private entrance at the back of Kate’s luxury apartment complex. Security was obviously surprised to see him driving himself, as Max would normally have a driver, but since so many things were always out of sync in his life, the disarray felt somewhat normal.

He pulled into the VIP lot and parked, pausing in the driver’s seat after shutting off the engine. There was something different about transferring Chase to his mom this time. Every time Max had been in this position, it was always a dreaded experience. The bitterness and resentment was hard to keep at bay sometimes, but he had trained himself well when it came to Kate. He never allowed her to see how much misery she’d inflicted upon his life. He never wanted her to have that power.

Those same feelings were still present, but this time it was worse. He felt it in his chest, not just in his mood. There was a significant weight pressing on his heart, complete with extra aches when he wondered when he’d be able to see Chase again. Just the panic and heartache he felt from it made him want to cry.

He got out of the truck and opened the back door. He forced a smile out of habit and asked, “You ready to see your mom?” Max unbuckled him from his car seat and set him on the concrete of the parking garage, kneeling down beside him. “Remember to call me if you want to, okay? Let your mom know you want to talk to your dad.” He waited until Chase nodded. “And always remember how much I love you and how much I miss you when you’re gone. Alright?”

Chase nodded again so Max gave him a hug, picking him up at the same time. He grabbed his little backpack and shut the truck door, and then reluctantly headed for the entrance to the building. Kate lived in the best suite available; courtesy of Max to keep her happy and make sure his son had a safe place to live.  

While he walked with Chase to the elevator, they talked about some of the fun things they’d done over the week. Passing the security desk, Max nodded at the man attending the post.

“Mr. McCallan,” he nodded in return, pressing the elevator for them.

“How are you today, Carl?” Max asked.

Carl’s eyebrows rose in obvious surprise. It was true, Max hardly spoke if he didn’t have to. But he normally did smile or nod, and yes, he was aware of people’s names when the opportunity was present. It was just easier to skip any type of conversation sometimes.

“I’m-I’m doing good. Thank you, sir. How about yourself?”

The elevator doors opened and Max forced another smile as he stepped on with Chase. And it was because of innocent questions like that that made him avoid interactions with people. Because he had to lie when he answered, “I’m doing great, thank you for asking.”

As the doors closed, Max sighed and turned his attention back to his son. “So what do you think you and your mom will be doing today?”

Chase shrugged, and for some reason, he’d become completely somber since the car ride.

“Are you sad?” Max asked.

Chase didn’t answer. Instead, his brow wrinkled and dropped his chin just a bit with a frown.

“What’s going on, buddy? You’ve been so quiet since we left the house. Are you okay?”

Chase nodded, but still didn’t speak. This was killing Max. One part of him wanted his son to be sad they were going to be separated again—to admit that he wanted to stay with him and didn’t want to go back to his mom—but the other part of him just wanted Chase to be happy no matter who he was with.

The situation fucking sucked.

The doors
dinged
open and Max paused. He looked at Chase again, wishing he could just close the doors, go back to the truck, and take him back home. He hated this. Absolutely hated it.

Taking a silent breath, he stepped into the hallway and hung a right for the corner suite. He knocked on the door but knew Kate had already been alerted about his arrival, so she answered the door within five seconds.

The fire in her eyes was aimed directly at Max, but her smile and excitement went to Chase. “There’s my baby! Oh my God, I’ve missed you so much!” She took him right out of Max’s arms and squeezed him tight, leaving the door open behind her. “Let’s pick out your Halloween costumes for the weekend…”

Max entered and set Chase’s backpack on the floor.

“I’ll see you soon, okay buddy?” he asked across the room.

Chase only smiled, but that could have been because his mom was kissing all over him and giving him so much attention. Max had no idea if Kate’s actions were real or not. He was always very careful to not ask his son questions about her. He never wanted him to be in the middle of the mess. But he did have a right to know if Chase was happy and well cared for. His answers always seemed to imply that he was, but other times it seemed like he was too shy to talk about it.

Closing the door behind him, Max left Chase with his mom. He didn’t remember getting back in the elevator or pulling the truck out of the parking garage, but somehow he was already on the road heading west. It was the worst feeling in the world. He not only felt empty, but he felt completely defeated. It was like doing everything you possibly could to make something work while knowing it wasn’t going to do any good.

It was a
helpless
feeling.

He took Santa Monica Boulevard all the way to Ocean Avenue and made a right. One privilege most people took for granted was the ability to drive their selves whenever and wherever they wanted. It was a luxury Max had always tried to give himself, even if it wasn’t such a smart idea. Heavily tinted windows were definitely a saving grace; a hat with sunglasses was a good back up plan; and a vehicle that wasn’t an Italian import was usually a plus, which was why his truck was a good choice. He never made eye contact with any other drivers, and he’d only roll down his window if there wasn’t a chance of passing traffic staring at him.

Like now, as he took PCH north. It felt great to let the ocean air through his window while traveling up the coast. With as shitty as the past hour had made him feel, a little bit of freedom and anonymity was much appreciated. Although at the same time, he could hear his dad’s voice bitching at him for being so careless—out in public without a driver or bodyguard. But sadly, he knew his dad was right. Just because Max
wanted
to disappear from the limelight, it didn’t mean it was going to happen. And he knew it was only a matter of time before being careless caught up to him.

He pulled over at an overlook and parked. Sliding his phone out of his pocket, he found Anna’s number and pushed dial.

“Hey, baby, you okay?” she answered.

He could hear the concern in her voice plain as day and it warmed his heart. That was a surprise, being that he felt a bit like a surly, grumpy asshole right now.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Well, as okay as I can be. I was just letting you know I’ll probably be another hour. I’m just taking some time right now.”

She paused. “Okay. Well you know where to find me. Can I slow cook this meat for dinner later?”

He assumed she meant the pork she’d brought the night before, along with some other groceries. “Sounds great. Thanks, Anna.”

“No thanks needed. Take your time and I’ll see you when I see you.”

He thanked her again anyway and told her goodbye. She was incredibly supportive and patient with him. Max almost felt like he didn’t deserve it. Maybe he was feeling a bit fragile right now. Returning Chase to his mom this time had been the hardest one yet. It didn’t take an idiot to realize he and his son had gotten closer over the past six months, even with Kate doing her best to keep them apart. She wasn’t going to get what she wanted from him, that was for damn sure, but lately he’d been thinking about his options. Waiting another couple of months was probably the better choice, but his heart just couldn’t be so patient anymore.

He grabbed his phone again and pushed for Cole’s number.

“What’s up, man?” he answered on the second ring.

“I think I’m ready to go forward with what we talked about last time.”

Cole paused. “You sure?”

“Yeah, go ahead and send me his contact information.”

“I’ll do you one better. I’m at his house right now so I’ll set it up for you. How ‘bout in an hour?”

Max felt like maybe it was a sign, so he agreed. Before he left for Malibu, he considered his options one more time. He felt like he didn’t have any, but there was no way he could keep living like this. Kate shouldn’t have control over how much he was allowed to see his son, and it was time to finally face the firing squad no matter what it consisted of. It was going to be a nightmare, but he couldn’t sit back anymore and worry about the consequences. For once, he didn’t care what they consisted of because what he’d be fighting for was something invaluable to him.

He may have only been parked for a couple of minutes, but it didn’t take long before someone recognized him. It also didn’t take long before someone was bold enough to pull out their phone to take photos of him from across the parking area, and since he’d been caught up in his thoughts, he also realized there were several onlookers gathered to the left of him.

He still had his window rolled down.

Pulling out of the parking lot would have been routine, leaving the public behind. But one of the onlookers was waving somewhat shyly at him and it caught his attention—a teenage girl with what appeared to be her family. He probably stared longer than he should have, but something about her made him pause.

He got out of his truck. So many things could go wrong right now and he knew it, but he kept the door open and the keys in the ignition. His father would fucking kill him right now. There had been way too many close calls over the years—over zealous fans and a few who were straight up aggressive. Max never did regret having bodyguards in those instances.

But most of the time—when unsuspecting fans were caught off guard like this—it was mostly the kinder side of the public; people who were out and about, doing regular things, not even looking to stalk or pounce a Hollywood figure. Generally they were gentler and less belligerent than the ones who made a career out of celebrity stalking.

“Hey, how’s the beach today?” Max asked the small crowd.

A few people had already come a bit closer once he’d stepped out of the truck, but most were still about ten yards away. Now, after he’d spoken to them, there was a mix of ones who kept their distance and ones who ventured closer. Some had answered him, some hadn’t. The one girl with her family was still stationary, staring ahead at him while talking to whom he assumed was her mom.

Fuck it. Max removed his keys from the truck and shut the door behind him, locking it. He walked across the parking lot, stopping in front of this family of four. The dad was a big guy, tall and hefty in a sleeveless shirt. If Max needed some assistance with an overzealous bystander, maybe he’d be the right guy to count on.

Or…maybe not. He was eyeing him funny right now. Perhaps it’d been a bad idea to approach these strangers. He was stepping outside of his comfort zone to interact with these people, but oddly, he didn’t feel so nervous this time. Maybe it was because it had been
his
choice to meet them and not the other way around.

“Hey, how’s your day going?” he asked—to no member of that family in particular, but he gave each of them a friendly smile.

“It’s- it’s a beautiful day,” the mom answered. “Perfect, actually.”

Max nodded. “It looks like it. I don’t come out here as much as I should. And I’m Max, by the way. What are your names?” He specifically asked the two kids.

“Riley,” the older girl replied.