Say It With Diamonds (12 page)

Teeth clashing, his tongue tangled with hers, stroking and caressing her while his hand slid from the wall to her head and
buried itself in her hair. Her heart hammered, desire flooded through her and she moaned.

‘I knew it,’ he muttered, breaking off the kiss to slide his mouth along her jaw and then down the side of her neck. ‘So much heat. So much better than all that horrible iciness.’

Bella dropped her head back and arched against him, revelling in the feel of all that muscle, all that hardness and strength plastered against her.

His mouth found hers again and his hand slid up her side to curve round and cup her breast. Bella groaned, pressed herself closer and rubbed herself against him, so desperate with the need to feel him deep inside her that she didn’t give a damn about where they were.

‘God, how could you even think about cancelling our date when there’s this?’ he muttered against her mouth.

And just like that, Bella froze, his words obliterating the desire consuming her as effectively as any bucket of cold water.

Oh, God. What was she doing? Clinging to him like a limpet, wrapping herself around him like an octopus and kissing him as if he were the last man alive.

More to the point, what was she
thinking
? What had happened to the assurances she’d made to herself that she was no longer interested in Mr Right Now? And wasn’t she supposed to have moved on? Ha. If she hadn’t just had such a big wake-up call, the furthest she’d have moved on would have been to the nearest private horizontal surface.

Desire flooded back at the thought of getting naked and horizontal with Will, and Bella swallowed as her body began to tremble. Lord, it would be so easy to give in. To sink against him and say yes to the demands his body, and hers, were making. So easy to let him take her home and make love to her all night. And so easy to embark on a torrid no-strings affair.

But that wasn’t what she wanted, was it?

‘Bella?’

Summoning up a strength she hadn’t known she possessed, she put a hand on his chest. ‘Stop,’ she said, her voice sounding breathy and husky as if she’d just tumbled out of bed. ‘We have to stop.’

Will lifted his head and took a step back, his eyes dark and glazed. ‘You’re right,’ he said, dragging his hands through his hair and nodding briefly. ‘This isn’t the time, and it really isn’t the place.’

‘No,’ she said, more firmly this time. ‘I mean we can’t do this.’

He stilled. Looked at her in disbelief. ‘Are you serious?’

‘Deadly.’

‘I see.’ His brows snapped together. ‘And why exactly can’t we do this?

‘It’s complicated.’

‘What’s complicated about it?’ he said, all traces of passion evaporating. ‘I want you and you want me. What could be simpler?’

‘I wish it
was
simple,’ she said, her heart sighing with longing while her body yelled that it was precisely that simple.

Will thrust his hands into his pockets and let out a deep sigh of frustration. ‘I don’t understand.’

Of course he didn’t, she thought with some despair. Why would he be aware of the turmoil churning around inside her? Or the battle that raged between her body and her head? The battle that if she wasn’t really careful her head could well end up losing. She barely understood it herself.

But there was one thing she did understand. And that was that Will had been right. She
did
owe him an explanation. More than that, after the stupid games she’d tried to pretend she hadn’t been playing, she owed him the truth.

* * *

Will watched Bella pull her shoulders back and set her jaw and felt like giving himself a good kicking. Why, oh, why had he had to say anything? If he’d kept his mouth glued to hers instead of foolishly using it to express what he was thinking, he was pretty sure that he and Bella would now be ensconced in the cupboard he’d spotted earlier, and satisfying the craving that he knew clawed away at both of them.

Instead he had a stomach-sinking feeling that the only thing going to be satisfied this evening was his curiosity.

Dredging up enough control to rein in the desire still rocketing around inside him Will frowned and braced himself for whatever was coming.

‘Tell me, Will,’ she said, her face so earnest that he was tempted to haul her back into his arms and set about switching it back to flushed and dazed, ‘where do you see this going?’

He tensed. Oh, yes. There went his stomach, plunging south like an anchor through water. With an ease born out of habit, he arranged his features into a mask of neutrality that didn’t show even a hint of the alarm that scurried through him. ‘See what going?’ he said evenly.

‘This.’ She waved a hand between them. ‘Us.’

Will frowned. ‘We’ve only just met.’

‘So?’

‘So there isn’t an us.’ They’d never be an ‘us’. He didn’t do ‘us’es.

She shrugged. ‘Humour me.’

Will stifled a sigh. ‘I don’t see the point. Whatever there might have been barely started. You’ve seen to that.’

She tilted her head. Considered his reply. Then bit her lip and nodded. ‘I see. Well, I guess that’s my answer. As I suspected.’

As she suspected? What was this? Another one of her games? ‘Why does it have to be going anywhere anyway?’
he said, frustration and bewilderment churning around inside him. ‘What’s wrong with just having incredible sex?’

‘I’m not interested in incredible sex.’

‘You were on Thursday.’

Her jaw tightened and she closed her eyes for a brief second. ‘That was then.’

‘So what’s changed?’

‘We want different things.’

‘How on earth do you have any idea about what I want?’ he said, struggling to keep a grip on his temper.

‘When I got home on Thursday night, I looked you up online. That’s how I know where you live and what you do. It’s also how I know what you want.’

Will felt like hitting something hard. Like the wall. Because, God, this conversation was infuriating. He shoved his hands in his pockets. ‘What I want with regards to what?’

‘Sex and relationships. You’re keen on the former. Not so much on the latter.’

Oh. Well. That much was true. His aversion to commitment was as well documented as the variety of women that had appeared on his arm over the years. It appeared he’d been right when he’d suspected she’d found out something about him she didn’t like. ‘And what do
you
want?’ As if he couldn’t guess.

‘Both.’ The tilt of her chin became more defiant. ‘Actually, everything.’

He frowned. ‘Everything?’

‘I’m not interested in an affair,’ she said simply. ‘I’ve been there, done that. I’m nearly thirty-five and I now want more. I want a relationship. Commitment. Security. Ultimately marriage and a family. So I can’t really afford to waste time on something, or someone, that won’t at least give me the chance of having that.’

Oh, crap. Will’s stomach sank even further. So his initial
impression of her hadn’t been wrong after all. He might have managed to convince himself that she was the sort of woman who threw inhibition to the wind and herself at random men, but he’d been deluding himself. If he hadn’t been so annoyed he’d have been relieved that his judgement hadn’t gone off the rails as he’d feared.

‘What’s so great about commitment?’ he said.

‘It’s what I want, what I’ve always wanted.’

‘Why?’

‘It’ll give me the security I never had. The family and the roots I never had.’ She took a deep breath. ‘Look, my mother had something of a racy past. She was kind of wild. Mixed with the wrong crowd. When I was twelve she went to jail.’

He stared at her chin sticking up, daring him to be discouraged. But did she really think having a mother who went to jail would deter him? She should hear about some of
his
ancestors. ‘What for?’

‘Armed robbery. She was involved in a jewellery heist that went wrong. She spent seven years inside.’

‘Sounds intriguing.’

Bella frowned. ‘Yes, well, it wasn’t to me. It was awful. I ended up being shunted from one place to the next, never really being in one place long enough to settle.’

‘What about your father?’

She bit her lip. ‘I have no idea who my father is. Neither does my mother.’

‘Fathers can be overrated,’ Will muttered, his thoughts momentarily derailed by the images of a young Bella trudging forlornly from one place to the next that were now flying around his head and making his chest contract in the strangest way.

‘I agree. But I could have done with one, especially during my teens. On the whole I was well looked after.’ She shrugged. ‘I guess I ended up hating always being on the
move and constantly living out of a suitcase. I certainly hated the lack of stability.’

‘Commitment doesn’t necessarily mean stability,’ Will said as the knowledge he held about his ancestors flashed across his mind. ‘Or security.’

‘It does to me. So you see that’s why I had to cancel our date. This … You and me … Whatever it is … would never work.’ Bella shrugged and caught her lower lip with her teeth.

Completely transfixed by her mouth, Will reached forwards, cupped her jaw and ran his thumb over her lip. She let out an involuntary gasp and desire roared through his body. ‘You think?’ he murmured.

‘I know,’ she said sharply, jerking back.

Will dropped his hand before he could slide it to the back of her neck, pull her against him again and make a mockery of her assertion and simply stared at her, his pulse hammering.

Who was she trying to kid? It wouldn’t work? That was the most nonsensical thing he’d ever heard. Of course it would work. They were dynamite together. Totally explosive. Did she even know how rare the kind of chemistry that they shared was? Not to indulge in it, however briefly, would be a crime against nature.

All he had to do was get her to see things his way. Show her that a short-term fling needn’t interfere with her long-term goals. Or his.

Will’s mind raced as desire and need drowned out reason and logic. Oh, he had no doubt it wouldn’t be easy. Bella wasn’t going to change her mind, roll over and hand herself to him on a plate. But that merely added to the challenge, and he’d never been one to shy away from a challenge.

Attrition. That was the thing. He’d gradually erode her resistance until she was desperate, begging him to make love to her and willing to agree to anything he suggested.

‘I see your point,’ he said as adrenalin surged through him at the thought of having Bella in his arms, panting and pleading for release.

‘There are bound to be hundreds of other women out there you can have incredible sex with.’

‘Bound to be,’ he said vaguely, his brain switching into gear and formulating a plan. Because if this evening had clarified anything it was that right now he didn’t want sex, incredible or otherwise, with anyone else. He wanted it with her. Lots of it.

‘Oh,’ she said, blinking and sounding delightfully taken aback. ‘Good. Well. I’m glad you agree.’

‘I couldn’t agree more.’ He flashed her a grin and wrapped his hand round her elbow. ‘Now I think we should be getting back before someone sends out a search party, don’t you?’

CHAPTER NINE

T
HE
following morning, after twelve hours of solid sleep, Bella felt like a different person. All was now well with the world. At least with
her
world, which she’d chosen to decorate with denial and to view through rose-tinted spectacles.

After the turbulent conversation and mind-blowing kiss outside the loos, she and Will had gone back into the restaurant to find the table empty. The waiter removing the empty glasses and the unused cutlery had murmured discreetly that their dining companions had given up waiting and had informed him that Will and Bella would take care of the bill.

Will, as surprisingly unperturbed by this as he’d been by her revelations about her parentage, had brushed aside all her efforts to at least split the bill, and had handed over his card. Then he’d bundled her into a taxi as if he couldn’t get rid of her fast enough, and had vanished into the night.

Very possibly to go straight round to Rosie’s to get some of that incredible sex she’d stupidly assured him others would be only too happy to provide.

God, what on earth had possessed her to say
that
? she wondered, switching the oven on and taking a couple of croissants from the freezer. She’d only tossed it into the conversation as a throwaway comment, so naturally it was the one thought that had dominated her journey home.

As much as she’d tried to tell herself that she really couldn’t
care less, she’d arrived home slightly confused, greatly unsettled, and too exhausted to do anything other than flop into bed and pass out.

But this morning she was revived. Ravenous, but revived. And heartily relieved that everything was back to normal. Because it was, wasn’t it?

And if a tiny part of her was still a bit preoccupied by the idea of Will and Rosie together, and if another even tinier part of her was faintly put out that Will had agreed with her about the futility of pursuing any kind of relationship with her with quite such alacrity, well, it was simply hunger messing with her head. That was all.

Bella dropped the croissants onto a tray and shoved it in the oven, her mouth watering and her stomach rumbling.

Oh, yes. All was indeed well with the world.

Except for one thing.

Bella frowned, straightened and bit her lip. As much as she was enjoying patting herself on the back at how well she’d managed to extricate herself from a situation trickier than a magicians’ convention, she couldn’t help but feel appalled at the shoddy way she’d treated Sam.

It had been jabbing away at her conscience all morning and as a fresh deluge of guilt washed over her her stomach churned with shame. She didn’t deserve freshly brewed coffee and delicious hot buttery croissants; she deserved lukewarm water and thin grey gruel. Because basically she’d used him, hadn’t she? And that had been a lousy thing to do.

Hmm. If she was to enjoy her badly needed breakfast at all, she had to fix things. Before the timer pinged.