Say You'll Never Love Me (23 page)

BOOK: Say You'll Never Love Me
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JARED’S HEAD POUNDED,
and he scolded himself for using such poor judgement. He flopped to his back and focused on the ceiling. A small sliver of light crawled from the blinds and spotlighted a spider spinning a web in the corner. The longer he watched, the more in sync his brain throbbed, as if the thing was playing drums inside his skull.

He closed his eyes to break the rhythm, and the beat slowed. Then he remembered what day it was. The dance. He had things to do. Pick up his suit at the cleaners, Silbie’s corsage, and swap vehicles with his mom. Her car would be better for his young date.

It took him a while to get going, but by noon, he’d finished his errands, so he drove to the office. Might as well use his time wisely. After booting up the computer, he buried himself in work.

Hours flew by, and at day’s end, he’d barely thought of Raynie. But in a short while, he’d see her again, and it would be torture. Even worse, if her guest was a man.

When Jared got home, Jace waited. Jared’s heart hammered. He parked and jumped out of the car. “Oh, God. Is it Dad?”

His brother shook his head. “No. Dad’s fine. I came to apologize. Maggie pointed out you might really like this Raynebeaux woman and I shouldn’t be joking about her. Do you?”

Jared breathed easier, it’d only been an hour since he’d seen his dad but things happened so quickly bad news came to mind first. Lately, Raynie fell into the same category. “Yeah. But she considers me a complication, so there’s not much I can do.”

“Sure you can. Remember how relentless Maggie was with me? If you think this woman has any feelings at all for you, then don’t give up.”

Jared waited for the punch line, but none came. “You’re serious?”

“Hell, yeah. If she’s the one you want, then fight for her.”

Jace rolled forward and reached the bottom of the ramp, then looked back, and quirked a brow, as if to say, ‘the balls in your court.’

Damn. His big-mouthed little brother had turned into Mr. Sensitive.

Right on time, Jared pulled into Raynie’s drive. At the end of her porch, illuminated by light, a guy the size of a linebacker with blond hair, scruffy beard, and no shirt, held a drink in one hand and a hammer in the other. A leather tool belt hung low on his hips. To complete Raynie’s bad-boy taste in men, a dragon inked his left shoulder. Forget fighting for her. This explained everything.

 

Do not tell secrets to those whose faith and silence

you have not already tested.

~~Elizabeth I

 

 

THE LAST TIME JARED’S
emotions flared this much was Jace’s sixteenth birthday. On that occasion Mom and Dad presented his little brother with a new Chevy truck. When Jared reached the same milestone, he’d gotten a five year-old Mazda.

Heat rose from the pit of his stomach to his throat, choking his breath. He had no claim to Raynie and never would. He pushed the thought away, grabbed the flower box and stepped out of the car.

The big guy eyed him and holstered the hammer, then strode down the steps to meet him half-way. “You must be Silbie’s date. I’m Dak Savage.”

Damn name sounded like a superhero or better yet, a thrill seeking adventurer. Jared hated the idea of Raynie providing the thrills. He accepted the guy’s handshake.

“Jared Sloan.”

“After the dance, we should go for a drink. I need a break from the females inside.” He jerked his head toward the door.

“You mean Raynie and Silbie?”

“Yeah, and my wife and daughter. Outnumbered four to one. Can’t watch sports. Didn’t bring my laptop because I promised myself no work during vacation. Thirty hours into this trip and I’m already going stir crazy.”

Jared’s chest relaxed. Best news he’d had all day. Cause for celebration. “Sounds good.”

“I’ll be ready.” He grabbed the knob, pushed it and yelled. “Jared’s here!” Dak stepped aside and let him pass.

Silbie came running, stopped short, twirled around, then smiled at her escort. “Do you like my dress?”

He knelt to face her. “It’s beautiful. You’ll be the prettiest girl there.” He slid a purple curl through his fingers. “Your hair matches.”

“I couldn’t believe Aunt Raynie let me do it.”

He opened the box and removed the wrist corsage, lavender roses, loops of pearls, and baby’s breath. “This should finish the outfit.”

She hugged his neck, then held up her hand. “Father Jared brought me flowers!”

He looked up to see Raynie, beautiful as always. Her hair hung loose, with the sides pinned away from her face. An oversized red tunic topped a pair of destroyed jeans. His mouth went dry.

She inspected the corsage. “What do you say?”

“Oh, thank you. I love it.”

Jared stood but kept his eyes on Raynie. Being in the same room caused his heart to accelerate. His brother’s words of wisdom, ‘fight for her’ rang in Jared’s head. He wasn’t sure he could. He’d already made so many mistakes, there might not be a way to fix them. “How are you?”

She smiled. “Good. You?”

“Keeping busy.”

“Me, too.”

“I like your hair.” Damn. He felt like a junior high boy making awkward conversation.

She twirled a bright blue lock around her finger. “Thanks. Silbie and I went a little wild.”

The stranger cleared her throat. “I hate to break up this reunion, but hi, I’m Quinn Savage.”

He shook her hand. “Nice to meet you. I’m Jar. . . .”

“Oh, I know who you are. I’ve heard all about you.” She cut her eyes toward her friend, then back at him and smiled.

He wondered what Raynie had told her. Maybe he could find out from Dak. “Well, I guess we’d better go.”

“Not before we get a picture” Raynie grabbed her phone. “Stand by the fireplace.”

Jared took his position and Silbie hopped onto the brick ledge, then leaned into him.

“Okay, smile.”
Click.
“One more.” She snapped again.

Quinn straightened Silbie’s collar, then brushed her hair back. “Do a crazy one.”

Jared stretched his lips to one side and crossed his eyes. Silbie put her thumbs in her ears, fanned her fingers, and stuck out her tongue.

“That’s a good one.” Raynie held the phone so Silbie could see the results.

For a long moment, Jared locked eyes with Raynie, then turned away. “When we get back from the dance, I’m taking Dak for a drink.”

“Thank goodness,” Quinn said. “He’s driving us nuts. You’d think he’d enjoy days with nothing to do, but that’s not in his DNA.”

 

 

 

 

RAYNIE STOOD AT
the window and watched them drive away, then spoke to Quinn. “In a while, I want to check on them.”

“Why? Don’t you trust him?”

“God, yes. He’s the best man I’ve ever met. But I hate being left out. It’s her first social function since . . .” Raynie swallowed hard. The thought of Silbie not having her parents to share all the important events in her life caused Raynie’s chest to tighten. “Didn’t they make a beautiful couple?”

“You mean like a real father and daughter?”

“Yeah. It makes me sad. I’ll never replace Celeste, but at least I can fill in. Once we leave here, who will do these things for her?”

“Dak will help out when he can.”

“I know.”

Quinn slipped her arm around Raynie. “He may have a girlfriend, but the way he looks at you tells me he’s not serious about her. Don’t push him away.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb. I know you too well.”

Raynie shrugged. It was easy to get a guy to fall in love with her. She just couldn’t make it last. “Sure. I’ve noticed his smoldering gaze and if he was my flavor of bad boy, I’d encourage it. But he isn’t. He’s a decent man who buys into the fairy tale crap of until death do us part. I’m a novelty to him. Better to sever the relationship now before one of us gets hurt.”

Quinn wagged her head for effect. “Blah, blah, blah. But how do you feel about him . . . right now . . . this minute?”

“I’m attracted to him. Who wouldn’t be? But that’s all it is.” She stated it with conviction because she believed it to be true. She fantasized about sleeping with him, not marrying him.

For the next hour, Raynie prepared a tater-tot casserole, angel biscuits, and curried fruit for Sunday morning’s breakfast while Quinn rehashed all the reasons Raynie should give in to her desire.

She countered each one, but there was no stopping the matchmaker. She babbled all the way to the school. Raynie parked, and even from a half-block away, woofers and tweeters carried a heavy beat into the night. As she sprinted across the lawn, she motioned for Quinn to stay close. Raynie flattened her body against the building and eased down to a wall of windows, with her friend right next to her.

Quinn poked her shoulder and shouted above the music. “Good Lord. I feel like I’m on a covert mission. Why not just go inside?”

“I don’t want them to know I’m checking them out.” She tiptoed and searched until she spotted the couple. “Oh, they’re so sweet together.” The ballad ended, and the DJ announced the next tune.

“Okay, here’s the one you requested. The chicken dance!” The song blared, and the crowd flicked their fingers, flapped their arms, and waggled their butts.

Quinn elbowed Raynie. “You are making a huge mistake. You need to grab him with both hands and not let go. See how foolish he’s acting for a child who isn’t his daughter. And how she’s looking at him.”

“I know. She adores him. And that’s why without him around, it’ll be easier when we leave.”

The music stopped, and Jared and Silbie made their way to the refreshment table where one of the lady servers sidled up to him. She leaned in, pressed her breast to his arm, and Raynie’s stomach burned.

He smiled at the woman, then backed away. Raynie nudged Quinn. “Let’s go.”

“Yeah. We should before you go in there and whip that hussy’s ass for making a play for your man.”

“He’s not my man.”

“But he could be.”

Raynie had worked hard to keep the relationship with Jared platonic but couldn’t. The more she was with him, the more she wanted to have sex with him. But it would be wrong to add him to the list. Not that there had been that many.

Hmm. The one guy senior year of high school. Two husbands. She stopped and tried to recall who came next. Oh yeah. Eric. Then there was Clay. Christopher. Cliff. After the three C’s, she swore off sex. Well, with an actual person. Her assortment of vibrators increased and made it easier. She could get the same pleasure without having to shave her legs.

Quinn’s question snapped her from the math problem. “You’re quiet. What are you thinking about?”

Raynie slid behind the wheel. “Do you remember all the guys you’ve had sex with?”

“Uh . . . yeah.” She pursed her lips. “Three. No, wait. Four. That’s not a lot, is it?”

Raynie laughed and pulled into traffic. “Compared to who?”

Quinn palmed her phone and typed. “Here’s an NBC report from a while ago. Says 29% of males and 9% females have had more than 15 sexual partners in a lifetime. The median range is seven for men and four for women. So I guess I’m average.”

“I’ve had twice that.”

“Which figure? Fifteen or four?”

“Damn, Quinn. I’m not a slut. Seven or eight, but that still seems high. I should take a vow of celibacy. Give up men for life.”

“I agree. Right after Jared.”

“You’re funny.”

“I’m not kidding. If he was involved with someone why would he spend so much time with you? Why take Silbie to the dance? A serious girlfriend wouldn’t stand for that.”

God. Once Quinn set her mind to something, she wouldn’t give it a rest. No need to argue. Besides, they were back at home.

 

 

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