Say You'll Stay (13 page)

Just remembering us as the kids we were makes me smile. “God, we did some dumb stuff when we were younger.”

“Yeah, we sure did.”

“I mean, do you remember the time we snuck out at one in the morning to ride horses out in the woods? We got so lost I swear we found ourselves three towns over. Mama and Daddy almost killed you that day.”

Zach nods. “I thought your daddy was going to. He came out on the porch with that shotgun pointed at me. But nothing was as bad as my dad when I got home. He was pissed.”

“You were grounded for a week.”

“I still snuck out to see you.”

I smile. “I know. I remember.”

“Do you remember how we tried to light a bonfire and we ended up needing to call the fire department?”

We had no understanding of consequences. “So many times we could’ve gotten hurt or worse. Now that I have Logan and Cayden, I think about the dumb crap they’re going to do. It scares the shit out of me.”

“Well, at least they don’t have Trent feeding them ideas.”

I smile as I roll my eyes. “Yet.”

Zach wipes the fog off the window and another memory rips through my heart.
It’s like we’re sixteen all over again.

“Huh?”

“What?”

“You said something about being sixteen.” He stares into my eyes.

“I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”

He smiles and shifts his body toward me. “What were you thinking about?”

“Nothing. Just something you did reminded me of when we were kids.”

Zach’s eyes never leave mine, and I swear he’s reading my thoughts. The intensity in his eyes only grows, and again, I’m thrown back in time.

“Zach,” I moan as my hands search for something to grip. “Please, don’t stop this time.”

We’ve been dancing around this for months now. I love him. I want to be with him for the rest of my life. I want to share this with him, but he keeps saying no.

His tongue swipes up, and my hips buck. “I love you, Presley.”

I lift his face and hold it in my hands. “I love you, Zachary. Please, make love to me. I want you to be my first.”

Zach hovers above me on one arm, and he uses the forearm of his other arm to wipe away the fog that covers the window. Heat consumes the cab of the truck, and all I want is to steam it up more. “We’ll make love, Pres. We’ll make love more times than we can count. But it sure as hell ain’t going to be in this truck with my brother in the car next to us.”

I cover myself and sit up. “Trent is here?”

He laughs and then kisses me. “It’s make-out lake. Of course Trent is here, and from the looks of it . . . half our senior class is too.”

“I hate this town. I can’t wait till we’re both out of here.” I groan, pulling my shirt over my head while Zach zips his pants.

After both of us are dressed, he takes my hand. “We’re out of here soon enough, baby. I head off to college, and you’ll come there. We’ll both finish with school, I’ll get picked up by a pro team, and we’ll have everything. You and me, Presley. You and me. I’ll give you the world.”

Zach waves his hands in front of my face. “Earth to Presley.”

I blink.

“What were you thinking about?” he asks.

Like I’m going to tell him that. Not on his life. “The boys,” I lie.

“The boys?”

“Yeah, I have two of them, remember?” I play coy, hoping to change the subject. I try to focus on bringing my heart rate back to normal. If being this close to him triggers these things, I need to figure out a way to stay far, far away. Zach extracts too many memories that I buried a long time ago.

He studies me but lets me have my lie. “I was thinking about the things we did and the time we spent in this truck.”

My head turns toward him. Is he really bringing this up? “Oh?”

“Yeah.” Zach’s voice is layered with confliction. “A lot of memories on this front seat. Being around you makes it hard to forget.”

I turn my body in his direction. The thunder rumbles in the background and the lightning flashes, illuminating the sky. It feels a lot like the storm raging inside me. “You didn’t have a hard time forgetting me.”

He moves forward slightly, and our knees touch. Once again, the electricity charges between us. “You think I forgot about you?” The tone of his voice lets me know he’s truly confused.

“What else could I think?” I shrug. “I begged you to stay. You left. You never came back.”

He shakes his head. “How can two people remember the same thing so differently? I never forgot you. I tried to call, but you wouldn’t answer.”

“I was mad. I was hurt and confused.”

The space between us closes as we gravitate to one another. The anger, the emotion, the frustration of seventeen years comes to a head. “You think I wasn’t?”

“Please enlighten me on what you could’ve been mad at.”

Zach’s face inches closer and closer. The heat in the car rises as the conversation intensifies. His eyes tell me everything. There’s a war raging inside him, and I’m about to be his first casualty.

“I was angry with myself.” His voice is low, but his words aren’t. “I watched your face disappear, and with each mile between us, I hated myself. I never got over that. I’ve looked back every single day, wondering why.” Our breaths mingle as I listen to things I’ve longed to hear. “I wanted to come back to you. It’s why I sent letters when you wouldn’t answer my calls. It’s why I went to Cooper, Wyatt, or anyone who would talk to you. But you—” He stops. My breathing stops as I wait for him to continue. “You didn’t care. You were dating and getting engaged like we never mattered.”

“What did you expect? For me to wait around until you decided I was worth it?” I try to scoot back, but he follows.

“I thought . . .” He runs his hands through his hair. “I thought you’d give me another chance. I didn’t think you’d move on so fucking quickly!”

I see the anger in him for the first time. “I didn’t betray you, Zach. I didn’t choose someone or something else over you.”

“No?” He laughs. “You chose
him
over me. You got married and never even gave us another chance.”

My mouth falls open. He has no idea. “Don’t you dare judge me. I was alone in a college that you chose for
us
. I followed you everywhere, Zach! I gave up the college of my dreams for you. Then you get an an offer within the first two months that I got there, and less than twenty-four hours later, you’re driving off. I loved you so much that I thought my heart was dead when you left! I needed you.”

“And I needed you!” His hands grip my cheeks and I hold on to his arms. “I needed you, Presley. I’ve always needed you. I’ll always need you.”

Before I can respond, his mouth is on mine. He kisses me without any apologies. I can’t think. Everything becomes foggy as my heart beats uncontrollably. How can this be happening? I’m confused as to whether I want this or not. He clouds my judgment. His touch is all consuming. I don’t know when my brain disconnects from my body, but I kiss him back. It’s soft and rough, slow and quick, all at the same time. My lips tingle as he holds me still.

When his tongue presses against my mouth, I snap. No! No, I won’t do this. I will never let him in again. I can’t endure losing anyone else. He had his chance and he threw me away.

I push against his chest as his eyes lock on mine. I’m filled with anger at him, but more so at myself. How could I let him kiss me? More than that, how could I kiss him back? Damn him for doing this to me! I’m a widow. I’ve lost my husband, my home, my life. I’m not about to go messing things up any further.

My hand rises, and I slap him across the face. “Don’t ever do that again. You don’t get to kiss me.”

“I don’t . . .” He looks away with shame. “I should’ve never done that.”

“No,” I say with a shaky breath. “You shouldn’t’ve.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Take me home, Zach.”

“Please,” he begs. “Forgive me.”

“Now.” I turn in my seat and close my eyes. If I can hold myself together for a few minutes, I can lose it later.

“Why the fuck do I keep screwing up with you? It’s so easy to forget how much you hate me.”

My fingers press against my lips as guilt overwhelms me. All I could think when he touched me was how much I’ve missed that feeling. The way a man’s mouth felt against mine. I’ve been lonely, and hating him is the absolute last thing I feel. I’ve never hated him—not even when that was all I prayed I would feel. I’ve loved him my whole life, and there’s a part of me that knows that will never stop. “I just want to go home.”

He puts the truck in drive and doesn’t say another word. I keep my gaze forward as we approach my house. As soon as we get there, he parks. “Presley, I’m sorry.”

There’s nothing to say, so I keep quiet. If I were to speak, he’d hear it in my voice. I won’t let him see how much he’s rattled me.

But he has. He’s rocked me to my core. That kiss reminded me of how much I truly love him. How my world clicks with him, and how much power Zachary Hennington has over me.

I hop out not caring if I get drenched. In fact, I welcome the rain. At least it’s real. Unlike anything Zach and I could ever have. I’ve been left by him once before. It’s a recurring theme in my life, it seems. I can’t be vulnerable now, and that’s exactly what Zach makes me.

Zachary

K
ISSING HER AGAIN SOLIDIFIED IT.
I’ve never stopped loving her. I knew I never had, but now there’s no way I can deny it.

I’ve moved on in some ways, but Presley . . . she’s everything.

Even with her throwing things at me, slapping me, and being angry right now . . . I don’t care, because she’s here. She’s the reason I haven’t been able to move forward in my life. I’ve tried to live, love again, but it never compared.

She fucking ruined me.

I sit in my truck outside her house and let my head fall back. What the hell am I going to do now? She clearly doesn’t feel the same way. No, Presley still hates me.

“Fuck!” I slam my hand on the steering wheel. “Dammit, Zach,” I say to myself. “You can’t go there. You can’t think of that woman, because you don’t have a chance. You blew it.” I say the words I need to remember. “I’m so fucking screwed.”

“Yeah, you sure are.”

I jump at the sound of my brother outside my window. “How much did you hear?”

“All of it. You must like talking to yourself.” Wyatt opens the passenger side door and climbs in. “Next time try words of encouragement. I hear that makes people smarter.”

“By all means,” I grumble. “And fuck off. You’re the one who keeps making these situations happen.”

“Dude, what the hell did you think? It’s why I told you that she was here weeks ago. It’s why I keep telling you to make things right. Presley has always been your biggest regret.”

I shake my head, wishing he were wrong. “I regret leaving her, not lovin’ her.”

“Brother,” he says as he runs his hand down his face, “I warned you years ago that you need to stop this shit. You pining away, thinking that one day she’d show back up and love you again. You blew that chance a long time ago.”

“I know.”

“Do you?” He pauses, and I could punch his smug face. “She was married and has twins. Did you know that?”

“Yeah,” I inform Wyatt. “I saw him.”

“Who?” he says confused.

“Her son, Logan.”

That name. Of all the fucking names she picks. And then for her not to remember . . . crushed me. She ripped my heart out, and she doesn’t even know it.

“They’re good boys. Been through hell,” he says pointedly. “They lost their father and everything they’ve known, so you can’t be fucking with their mama’s heart.”

Wyatt is usually pretty quiet about other people’s business, but he has no issue when it comes to mine. He loves Presley. He always has, but he’s protective of her too. She’s family to all of us. I wanted her to be a different family member for me.

“She slapped me!” I yell.

“Well, from the look on her face you deserved it.”

I hate my brother. “I kissed her.”

He laughs and rolls his eyes. “Of course you did. She’s Presley, and you damn well can’t help yourself. You want to be with her.”

“I’m with Felicia,” I remind him.

“Sure, you are.”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

He shakes his head and sighs. “You’re going to sit here and tell me you love her? The way you love Presley?” He pauses, and I don’t say a word. “I didn’t think so.” I open my mouth to argue, but he goes right back into his monologue. “You never stopped hoping she’d come back. Hoping she’d give you a second chance. But so help me God, Zach. If you hurt her, I’ll fuck you up. I don’t care if we’re brothers, I’ll beat the ever loving shit out of you.”

“I’m not going there again,” I state. There are some things people can come back from, but not sixteen years of anger. That’s a lot of forgiveness, and there are things I’m still pissed off about too.

“Right.”

“Get out of my truck,” I demand. “Why aren’t you in there telling her all this shit?”

Wyatt throws his feet on the dash. “What makes you think I haven’t?”

“I need to get home.” I’m done with this conversation. “Leave.”