Scandal (Tainted #1) (27 page)

He just held her closer, running his hands over her back and through her hair too quickly to be comforting. ‘Tell me what happened. It might help.’

She shook her head against his chest while more sobs broke free.

‘Shhh, you’re OK, you’re safe,’ he whispered, rocking her back and forth for what seemed like hours.

She wasn’t OK, but the tremors stilled eventually and she managed to breathe. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t be.’ He pulled back, wiped the last of her tears away and she saw the concern in his eyes in the moonlight. ‘Nightmare or memory?’

When she didn’t answer, his gaze dropped to her hands, protecting her empty stomach, and he cursed. ‘There was more, wasn’t there?’

She nodded, still trapped in the horror of the dream and the fact that now, he’d know what she did.

‘He got you pregnant, that boy.’ Sebastian’s voice was soft, but his jaw was clenched like it was an effort to stay calm.

‘He didn’t mean to,’ she said, not wanting him to jump to conclusions. ‘When I found out, I was almost sixteen. I thought we’d get married soon anyway – it’s what he promised. By the time I found out, it was too late. My father had discovered our relationship and managed to get his dad a job in Wales. Darrell was into rugby, which was more important than I was, and he saw the opportunity to go to another team, to further his career.’

He watched her with a frown, probably worried she’d burst into tears again but she’d wasted enough on Darrell. No more.

‘You didn’t tell him?’ Sebastian asked.

‘I told him. He left anyway.’ That part was harder to say. Her own personal proof that life didn’t have fairy tale endings. Not for her, anyway.

She felt his hands turn into fists behind her back and his frown morphed to anger. ‘Those bastards.’

Alicia didn’t speak, she didn’t want to have to tell him what happened then. For Sebastian to look at her like the murderer she was. ‘It’s over now. I don’t care about Darrell anymore.’

His eyebrows pulled together then his jaw dropped. ‘Please don’t make me – that’s what you said in your dream. Alicia, did someone force you to have an abortion? Your father?’

‘It was my choice,’ she whispered. ‘I didn’t want to be outlawed like my brother.’

He tilted her chin and all the traces of anger had gone. Her heart tripped over itself with the compassion she saw in his eyes. The emotions she felt for him seemed reflected in his gaze. How could he walk away after a month when he cared for her like this?

‘You were just a child, you shouldn’t have been made to choose. He forced you to do something you didn’t want to.’

Maybe, but …

‘I could have said no. I could have fought harder and I didn’t. I lost my baby because I was too ashamed and broken-hearted to fight.’

Tears welled in her eyes again and he pulled her closer, kissed her lips softly. ‘You’re strong now, Alicia. Don’t let him make you choose again. He can’t keep controlling you forever.’

‘I’m trying.’ She kissed him – the need to revel in his acceptance made it mandatory.

Sebastian didn’t say anything else, just kissed her back tenderly, like she was someone worthy of being adored. She almost believed it too.

Chapter Twenty

Jack woke up with Mai in his arms. She was still sound asleep, probably from the painkillers the doctor had given her to ease the pain. Again, the shitty feeling in his stomach flared until he felt sick with it.

What the fuck had he done?

He’d been in a haze of lust, enjoying the afterglow of a great orgasm, and then she’d attacked him. The pain of what were pathetic slaps stung more than they should, and the anger that roared through him had been impossible to stop.

Even seeing her lying on the floor, her face covered in blood, hadn’t calmed him down. He’d barely heard her apology through the rage, and it was all he could do to walk away before he’d caused serious damage.

The fact she’d forgiven him had been a miracle. That she wanted to help him get over his ‘addiction’ was unbelievable. How could she even look at him after what he’d done?

He swept a few stray hairs away from her face and her eyes fluttered open. He’d fallen into her blue depths once. Hard and sure. And now, even though he was horizontal, he had the oddest feeling of vertigo.

‘Morning, babe,’ she said, snuggling closer.

His arms constricted around her automatically, and his head was more messed-up than her face. She brushed a kiss on his jaw, making his eyes sting and his heart swell. Shit, this wasn’t supposed to happen. Hurt or not, she was a slut who’d ripped his heart out, burst it with her pointy nails, and flattened it with her new Collins-bought stilettos.

The plan. He needed to focus on the plan.

‘Marry me, Mai. I don’t care about a big, white wedding. All I care about is you.’

The lie tasted bitter on his tongue – or was that the guilt from hitting her? Conning her shouldn’t have made him feel bad. Hell, she’d done worse to him.

‘Really? Now? But what about money, security?’ She rose on her elbow and looked down at him.

He tried not to wince at the mess he’d made of her face. ‘Do you really care about that stuff? We have a home that’s paid up, I’m almost done with my script, and don’t you have some cash saved. Or is it gone already?’

Her eyes glazed over, in that way they did when she was overwhelmed. ‘I have some, but it’s hard to save when I have to keep up with fashion.’

Wasn’t that why he was still stuck there, waiting for a huge pay out that was a long time coming? ‘I don’t give a shit what you wear, and your hair was gorgeous without the fortnightly bleaching. We can do this, we can save. Haven’t you always just wanted a family who loved you? I can give you that.’

Tears leaked from her eyes, coursing down her battered cheek. ‘I do! Jack, that’s all I want!’

He couldn’t avoid the kiss, but it didn’t matter. Not when he was a step closer to winning, so he put everything he had into it. Still, he was careful to keep away from her bruises.

Sliding her hand down his chest, she aimed for his groin but there was nothing going on below his navel. She pulled away when she realised he wasn’t up for anything like that.

‘I have an idea,’ Mai said.

She darted out of the room. When she returned, it was with his laptop. He frowned. ‘What’s that for?’

‘Fire it up! Whatever you like. We’ll watch together.’

His chin dropped as she handed him the laptop, and when he saw her waiting patiently for him to open it he realised she wasn’t joking.

‘Mai …’ Shit, he didn’t know what to say.

‘I’m going to show you that you don’t need to do this alone, and maybe one day you won’t need it to get aroused around me.’ Her gaze dropped when she said the last bit.

Telling her he’d be aroused if she’d never left him, never turned into a skinny, vengeance-seeking whore, would only fuck up everything he’d worked so hard for. Instead, he flicked on the computer and went to the site he visited most.

‘You can pick,’ he said, passing the thing to her.

He didn’t know if it was jealousy of someone who looked like she thought she had to be or because it was the film that had been playing when he got busted, but Mai hit play on his favourite video, then proceeded to attend to his dick like the brunette on the screen was. Over and over until he was harder than steel and about ready to come.

He tugged her away, then returned the favour, all the while watching the actor go to work on the brunette in the same way. It was easier to enjoy it with the visual and the brunette’s moans as he made his way between Mai’s legs.

But as she writhed against him and moaned his name, something shifted inside him – something that nearly choked him. Climbing up her body, he kissed and lightly nipped her skin like she used to love, until she was begging him to take her and he couldn’t speed it up to get it over with. Hell, he couldn’t even concentrate on the pretty brunette.

When he slid into Mai slowly, savouring the feeling and the way her eyes glossed over with pleasure, he couldn’t take his eyes off her. So he rocked into her in the same slow way, trailing kisses down her neck and across her collarbone until all he could hear and feel and touch was Mai.

When they both fell over the edge together, Jack couldn’t keep his eyes open. As he drifted into sleep again with her in his arms, he knew he’d fucked up and done the one thing he promised himself he’d never do again – fall in love with Mai.

‘Jack, that was amazing.’ She snuggled closer. He was too far gone to reply. ‘I have just over seventy thousand. I’ll withdraw it today and you can keep it for us so I don’t spend it. Sleep well, babe.’

His brain switched back on as she left the bed, but he didn’t dare open his eyes. Seventy fucking grand? That was more than enough to tide him over for a while. Screw love, screw this feeling. He was going to get his revenge.

Alicia spent the next day at their in-house spa with her sisters, talking travel, shoes, and the upcoming nuptials. Though really, she listened and even then she didn’t hear much. They were being pampered by a team her mother had brought in for the day, but her mind kept drifting to the night before.

Daria must have noticed, because she called her on it. ‘Sis, you have it bad.’

Sylvia pulled cucumber slices from her eyes. ‘The tennis player? I bet he packs stamina.’

Her mouth dropped open in shock.

Before she could process the words, Daria jumped in. ‘Mmhmm. And he’s smoking hot. How are you getting around the separate room thing? I climbed through Blair’s window last night.’

She blinked, utterly gobsmacked that her reserved sisters were not as perfect as she’d thought. ‘You snuck in through Blair’s window?’

Sylvia laughed. ‘What? You’re not the only one who gets to have fun. You just need to be careful you don’t get caught.’

‘I thought …’ Alicia trailed off. She didn’t want to say she thought her sisters were virgins. ‘You took Mother’s advice.’

They both burst out laughing. Through the giggles, Sylvia said, ‘That might have worked for Mother, but can you imagine marrying someone like Father?’ She shuddered.

Alicia shook her head.

‘Anyway, spill. We want all the details.’ Daria said.

‘When are you getting married? I figured with the publicity that you two must be getting serious,’ Sylvia chimed in.

Alicia debated whether to tell them the media version, but her sisters were not as sheltered as she’d thought. And anyway, she was sick of secrets. Confessing her sins to Sebastian had made her realise that people were forgiving – everyone except her father, anyway. But he wasn’t here and she trusted her sisters to keep her secrets.

She told them the truth, from scoring him as a client, the way their father had him followed (to which neither seemed as shocked as she’d been), to the watered-down version of what they did last night. She’d felt a shift in him after her confession, something more than casual emotion – had even seen it too. It had been impossible not to let him seep into her heart.

‘I don’t know how it can ever work. He’ll have to travel around the world for tournaments and I’ll be stuck in London,’ she finished.

Sylvia squeezed her hand, but Daria pursed her lips like she was thinking things through. ‘You say you love your job, but you’re also saying you’re “stuck” in London, which makes me think that’s not where you want to be.’

Alicia shrugged. ‘I wanted to be successful, like you two. Until recently I’ve been living my life trying to make Father proud of me again. Now … I don’t know if that’s any kind of a life – not if he’s going to insist on running it for me.’

They wrapped their arms around her. ‘Listen,’ Daria said. ‘You do what your heart tells you is right and don’t worry about Father. All you have to do is play the game in front of him. He never visits, so how will he know what’s true and what’s fabricated for his benefit?’

Sylvia nodded seriously, then said, ‘And we’re not children anymore. We won’t let him banish you from our lives. He’ll have to get rid of the three of us!’

‘That won’t ever happen,’ Daria agreed.

‘Thank you,’ she said, her eyes getting watery again and they hugged her tighter. ‘What’s this about playing the game?’

Sylvia smirked. ‘Watch and learn, sis.’

Alicia’s brows pulled together.

‘Blair was flung at me when Father wanted to make a deal with his dad. Luckily, we were attracted to each other but of course we’d never show it in front of him.’ Daria’s sigh was blissful and made Alicia’s cheeks heat. ‘He’s an animal in the bedroom.’

She didn’t have time to recover from the shock before Sylvia said, ‘Father is trying to set me up with the son of a stuffy man he does business with, but I’m going to make it work for me.’ She was about to ask how, when Sylvia grinned. ‘Gavin’s gay, which is frowned upon by his father. We’re going to announce our engagement after Daria’s wedding.’

Alicia couldn’t form words, she was so stumped. Daria glared at their younger sister. ‘How on earth is that going to work for you?’

‘Well, not only will I get my trust fund but Father will get off my back about settling down. Gavin will let me work and live my life the way I want.’

‘Until he starts talking about grandchildren,’ Alicia reminded her, still staggered that her little sister would marry just to get their father off her back. Or was that really the key to being in his good graces? If it was, she wasn’t the one with the problem. It was her father.

‘We’ll think of an excuse to put it off. I’ll still be working and traveling,’ Sylvia said.

She envied her sisters, but they were right. She had to start living the life she wanted, not the one her father would approve of, and why couldn’t she? God knew she’d worked her way up from the bottom at Maine – she knew everything there was about being a publicist.

Why couldn’t she do that on her own, build a client base all over the world and maybe even get to keep Sebastian at the end of it? After all, things had changed between them, she was sure of it. If she left Maine she could work from anywhere she wished.

Sebastian stuck close to Blair when they got to the big room in Simpson Manor that acted as a ballroom. He still couldn’t get his head around the size of the place. Earlier, during a friendly game of cricket, Blair had said that he just had to play up to Mr Simpson’s expectations to make life simpler. Sebastian had wanted to call out the old bastard for putting his daughter through what he had, but he knew Alicia wouldn’t appreciate any drama. In the end he’d done all he could do to make life easier for her and forced himself to be polite to her father. When the old earl suggested they play a quick game of tennis, Sebastian paired up with him and did his best to make him think they’d won because he had a hand in it.