Scandalous (16 page)

“He left here a few minutes ago.” “Did
he tell you where he was going?”
“No, he didn’t say a word. He ran in and ran out.” Just then I saw Eric and Tracy walk into the house. They

stood in the doorway, looking at me with disbelief. Eric spoke up first. “Please tell me you’re not the reason that cop is being loaded into an ambulance?”

I just dropped my head, I was so scared. I got carried away. In my head the situation was a lot worse than it actually was. My imagination took over and made a movie scenario out of the situation.

I heard a voice behind me. “You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney. If you can not afford an attorney, one will be provided for you…”

I really stopped listening after that point. I feltnumb. I really thought that at any moment I was going to wake up and this had all been a very bad dream.

“What am I being charged with officer? I asked as they marched me out the front door. I thought that the entire college was in my front yard. I looked around and saw several faces of people I knew, including Prentice. Now I hate that I treated him so bad. If we were still kicking it, I know he would come through for me, but now I don’t know what I’m going to do.

“You’re being charged with the attempted murder of a police officer.”
I didn’t look anybody in the face as the officer pressed my head down to make sure I was in the car. I closed my eyes as the police car slowly backed out the yard and went down the street.
* * *
A few months later I was in court. I looked around the courtroom and only saw two faces I knew: Eric and Tracy. I know that Tracy probably hates my guts, but she was there, and not as a person that came to gloat at my situation, but a person that came to make sure I was okay. They both smiled at me when I walked into the courtroom. For the first time in my life I felt like someone was there for me. I’ve never felt like that before. Anytime someone was around me they wanted something from me. Men always wanted to fuck me and women just wanted to get next to me to talk my business and hate on me.
I pleaded no contest to avoid any real time behind bars. I was sentenced to ten years in jail but I’ll be up for parole in three. I really hate that a dick is the cause of all my problems. I never thought that a man would cause me to lose my damn mind like I did. I wanted to be with Brandon so bad, I betrayed a person that honestly never did a thing to me. I cut a police officer and ended up behind bars. A man is dead and I feel like I helped kill him. At night I try to blame Brandon for all my problems. I even blame my mom from time to time. If she had raised me better and not have me sucking dick and fucking allthose guys I might have went another way. But I guess now is oneof those times where you have to take responsibility for your own actions. I let myself get all caught up with a slimy ass nigga. He’s running the street fucking up another woman’s life and I’m sitting in here waiting to go to prison for a few years.
My stomach churned as the prison bus pulled up to the gate of the Nash Prison. All the inmates were out in the yard exercising and talking to one another. Within an hour I had been processed and was on my way to my cell. I sat on my bunk and tried to make myself as comfortable as possible. I looked up and there were four women inmates standing at the entrance to my cell.
“Wuz up?” I tried to sound all-hard but my heart was pounding. I had watched a lot of movies where they come in your cell and beat your ass for no apparent reason.
One of the women walked over to me. “Hey, you Michelle huh?”
“Yeah, why?” I know cutting an officer didn’t get me the kind of reputation that had people wanting to hang out with me.
“You went to college in Greenville?”
“Yeah,” I was starting to get a little scared. This woman knows who I am, but I have no clue who she is.
“You know a dude named Prentice?”
Now I’m really messed up. She knows me and Prentice. “Yeah I know him. We kicked it for a minute”
“You loved him?”
All off a sudden I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I fell back on the bed. I clutched my stomach. Something was sticking out of it. I looked at my hands and they were covered with blood. I had been stabbed. I couldn’t scream. I wanted to, but the sound would not come out. The woman that stabbed me stood over me and pulled the shank from my stomach and stabbed me again. I felt like I was falling asleep. The last thing I heard was, “That’s my little brother bitch!”

It’s a shame what happened to my girl Michelle. She was a victim all her life and died that way as well. As Tracy and I stand here at her funeral, it just makes me think about all the good times we shared. The night at the club, the night we had at the party. I want to remember her as a good friend and a good person.

The relationship between Tracy and I has never been the same. We’re cool, don’t get me wrong, but the secrets we once shared are no more. We don’t talk like we used to.I messed all of that up. I let sex come between a good friend and me. We try to stay out of each other’s way when we’re home at the same time. This year has been full of ups and downs. I tried to get all A’s in my classes since my roommate died, but I found out that was only an urban legend.

The only person I actually talk to from time to time is Skye. She still wants to get in a serious relationship with me. I wouldn’t mind being with her, except I don’t trust myself anymore. I feel like I will only hurt her somewhere down the road. She needs a person that will cherish her the way she deserves. I’m not that person.

Christmas break is right around the corner and I have to go back home. My relationship with my family is as bad as ever. I really don’t want to go, but I have nowhere else to hang out for a week and a half. I guess I have to go home and endure the comments my family is sure to make. I have to sit back and listen to my brothers call me a faggot and watch my father’s look of disgust.

I don’t think I’m going to move back into this house after the holiday break. I don’t think I can live here, knowing that my life changed in this house. I have a memory that will haunt me forever because of my actions in this house.

If I’ve learned nothing else, I’ve learned that real friends are hard to find, but easy to lose. No matter how good the sex might be with someone, it’s not worth loosing a good friend over. Living with the fact that I destroyed a life for it, is what kills me the most. It kinda reminds me of something my mother used to always say when we were growing up it’s all fun and games till somebody gets hurt. I always thought she was talking about horse playing but I guess she was really talking about life. I played games and had a lot of fun, but in the end somebody got hurt.

I can’t believe that my life has turned out this way. Eric and I barely speak to each other. He’s cool and all, but he hurt me more than anything else. I really felt at ease with him. He destroyed all that for me by sleeping with Brandon.

Speaking of Brandon, my father sent me a copy of the Miami Herald today and on the front page was a picture of Brandon being led away in handcuffs. The story said that he was wanted for murder and he was found in his girlfriend’s apartment. Evidently, he was running his mouth to somebody down there, telling them what went on up here and they went back and told the police. He’s looking at forty-five years in prison.

I don’t think he really knows what he did. He’s the reason Michelle is dead. He’s the reason that Eric and I don’t really talk. He’s the reason Byron is dead. He’s the reason. He touched so many lives in a negative way. It’s hard to believe I actually loved that fool. But hey, you know what they say, hindsight is 20/20.

I now see things in him that I should have seen a long time ago. His quick temper. I thought it meant that he didn’t take any crap from anybody. That was a turn on for me. It felt good to run around and say that my man got a quick temper, trying to make other people fear him. How stupid was I. His cute quick temper turned into an awful murder.

I remembered several times when we would argue, he would grab my arms. He wouldn’t hit me, but he would scare the hell out of me when he did it. I took that as a sign of I better not piss him off. Those again, made me feel like my man was a man. A real man takes control of his woman when she’s flying off at the lip. Damn, just to think about it makes me embarrassed. I should have walked then, but I didn’t. Something about him being mad and getting all crazy was a turn on for me. The sex was great when he was pissed off. But then again, I guess that’s what got me in this mess in the first place. Sex.

In the end, everybody was having sex with my man but me. I had no idea that he was into men. That caught me totally off guard. Now I see what the old folks mean when they say you betta know who you layin’ up with. I see now, I didn’t know Brandon as well as I thought I did. Sure, I knew his favorite color, drink, car, and rap artist, but I really didn’t know him. Well, I take that back. I knew him, but I closed my eyes to that side of him.

My father told me he would rent the entire house for me so I wouldn’t have to have any roommates again. That’s a good thing. The only thing is that I have someone moving in with me that my parents don’t know about. He has been my rock throughout this entire ordeal. He has also been my lover for the past few weeks. He’s the type of man that I’m really drawn to. A man that took care of my problem for me. A man that made it all go away when I needed it too.

As I sit in the front room of my house I see my mans’ car pull up outside. I can’t help but smile as he getsout of the car and he’s wearing the Hilfiger button down and khakis I love so much. I guess everybody would freak out if they knew Prentice had Michelle killed in prison. The girl who killed her wasn’t even his sister, just some crack fiend that was in jail and he gave her a few hundred dollars to take Michelle out. That showed me that he is a man of his word. He told Michelle she was going toget hers and I guess she did.

I told him how much Brandon had hurt and used me. So he had one of his friends that lives in Miami go to a bar that I knew Brandon hung out at and seduce him into running his damn mouth, which he did, and got his ass busted for it.

If you’re wondering about Eric, he’s next on the list. We haven’t thought of a way to get his ass, but we will. And when we do, it’s gonna be good as hell. But for right now, my punk ass man Prentice, as Michelle liked to call him, has a hard dick and it’s my job to make it soft again. I love a clean-cut scandalous ass nigga.
The End

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