Scared Scriptless (16 page)

Walking into the HCP offices, my stomach is tied in knots. It’s been two days since the debacle in Hogan’s office. I’m pretty sure I made my point with Craig. After all his texts and voice mails, I called his office yesterday to schedule an appointment to meet with him here this morning. I don’t even have a chance to sit on the sofa in the lobby before Craig’s assistant appears around the corner.

“Craig will see you now.” She smiles at me and I follow her to his office. Obviously, she and I both know that I know where I’m going, but for some reason we both play out the formal ritual. His door is open and I hesitate. For all my righteous indignation, I am really not good at confrontations.

“Maddy. Come in.” Craig stands up from behind his desk. He goes to take a step around it, but then changes his mind and just gestures to the open seating on the other side. “Please sit.”

I choose one of the armchairs facing his desk instead of the sofa seating area so that the desk stays between us. Craig smoothes his tie and sits back down behind his desk.

“Craig, listen…” Now that I’m here, there are so many things I want to say, but I still don’t know where to begin.

“Maddy, please, would it be all right if I start?”

“Fine.” I take a deep breath to steady myself.

“First of all, I owe you a huge apology. I’m so sorry I put you
in that position. It was never my intention to blindside you like that.”

“Really? Because that’s exactly what happened. That whole time in Wolf County…”

“When we were in Wolf, I honestly wasn’t thinking about Hogan. I had such a great time. All I was thinking about was how there’s such potential there, and how we can make it such a great show.”

“It didn’t cross your mind when we were sitting there with my family that Hogan hates reality TV? My mom told you they felt comfortable with the idea because Hogan was on board, and yet you knew he wasn’t. You got everyone’s hopes up on a HUGE gamble that Hogan would change his mind.”

“But you see, it worked! I took a calculated risk. You have to do that sometimes to get ahead.”

“Yes, it worked, but you didn’t think about the fallout at all. That people, like yours truly, wouldn’t take well to being lied to. You led me to believe Hogan was into the idea. I would never go into his office and tell him how to run his company or spend his money! He
is
Hogan Chenny Productions. If he doesn’t want to get into the reality business, that’s his prerogative.”

“Listen to me, Maddy. I didn’t make this up out of thin air. Everyone knows reality TV is here to stay. You know Hogan doesn’t want to just retire to Palm Beach and sip mai tais after
The Wrong Doctor
wraps. And having his toe in reality is a good way to secure the future of HCP. It’ll give him a good financial base and a solid platform from which—”

“Craig. Stop it. I’m not here to argue with you over whether it’s a good idea or not. I like reality TV. It is a good idea for HCP. But that’s not relevant. I’m angry and hurt because you intentionally lied to me about Hogan’s approval of this project. I hate
that you put me in a position of having to use my family’s relationship with Hogan.”

“You should know by now that this town is all about relationships. You put your relationship with Hogan behind safety glass? ‘Break only in emergency’? That’s not how Hollywood works.”

“Exactly!”

“You are misunderstanding me. Hogan didn’t listen to you in that room because he owed you a favor or because he knows your family. He listened to you because you have proven yourself to him over the years, and he knows a good idea when he hears one.”

And he’s right. I know that I deserve this job, and I deserve this chance—and Hogan knows it too. I’d never realized how much it bothered me, thinking that if people found out about my background, they would believe I didn’t deserve this job. It feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. A part of me is still pissed, and aware that Craig has neatly shifted the conversation away from his manipulation. I also hate that Craig put me in that room under those circumstances. But at the same time I feel good, knowing that I’ve earned Hogan’s respect, and yes, even the right to disagree with him and be heard.

I can tell Craig realizes he’s won this round and that my anger has softened. He doesn’t make a thing out of it, though; he’s smarter than that.

“Look, Maddy, we’re really both on the same page. We love this idea. Hogan is on board now. We can put the past behind us and move on. I’ve spent the last few days pulling together our notes. I put a team together with the money Hogan granted us.” He holds out the folder. “I’d like you to go up to Wolf during the hiatus next week and produce the footage. I have two great shooters to go with you. Get as much footage as you can. Then we can spend all next week editing for Reality Buzz, which is next weekend
in Manhattan Beach.” He pauses. “And I know I have a lot to make up to you. Don’t give up on me, okay?”

I just sit there in silence. It was hard enough for me to address the work issues with Craig, but I know he’s talking about our relationship now. I just don’t have the stomach for it.

Undeterred, he starts again. “This was just a misunderstanding. I’m really sorry. I feel like we have something special. When you’re back from Wolf, let me take you to dinner. Actually, let’s go on that hike you suggested… Please? Maddy?”

I make him sweat it out a little more before I finally speak. “We’ll see, Craig. There’s so much to do for the show. Let’s see when I get back.”

Not the response he was anticipating, but it’s the best I can do right now.

Even though Janine is here with me in the HCP edit bay, it feels very empty as I clear away about a hundred empty Coffee Bean to-go cups. The caffeine has long since worn off. I don’t even want to look at my watch. I’ve pulled all-nighters before. Certainly working in Hollywood means you have to be ready for unusual working hours. But this is by far the most intense thing I’ve ever done.

After shooting for two days straight in Wolf, we slammed the gear in the truck and headed back to LA. I slept the whole way. And now it’s Sunday, and Janine and I have been holed up in the edit bay all weekend. I’m so lucky she was free this weekend and willing to help me work on the sizzle.

Tomorrow I go back to work at
The Wrong Doctor
, and I know Craig will want to make changes and finesse our presentation, so Janine and I are trying to get as much done as we can before Monday. Janine has been amazing. As much as I’ve learned about the different specialties in Hollywood, and what it takes to make TV, editing is a bit like the Wizard of Oz… they are the magicians behind the curtain that take all this raw footage and turn it into a polished, beautiful finished product. As I watch her work the Avid equipment, it’s clear to me how far outside my skill set I am.

“Janine, it’s been at least ten minutes. I have to thank you again for helping me with this. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

“I shudder to think.” She laughs. “Maddy, stop it. You’re picking this up really quickly. I think you’ll be a really good producer. Look at this footage you got. You have good instincts.”

“I don’t know about that. I basically followed Craig’s instructions.”

“I don’t have time to give you a lecture on not selling yourself short.” Janine sighs. “I’ll save it for next week. Right now, we have work to do.”

Again we focus on reviewing the hours of raw footage the crew and I shot. We got some great images of a lot of the town, views of the different locations we think would play prominently on the show, lots of b-roll. Then we interviewed all the people who’d agreed to be a part of the show. We set them up in different scenic locations and talked to them for hours about the town and their lives. I was the interviewer, which I have no experience with. But I got the hang of it by the end.

Watching Mrs. Gordon’s interview when she tears up talking about how proud she is of her husband, Janine gives me a thumbs-up. There are some truly great moments like this one, and it gives me a rush of excitement and pride.

Screening all the footage takes forever. I keep reminding Janine that I have notes on everything, that we don’t have to watch it all again, but she absolutely insists. She was right. We’ve discovered lots of little interesting scenes, like the eclectic crowd gathered to watch the band in the town square. Funny things that happened, like Merry Gordon trying to sell Walt’s taxidermy to some hapless tourists. There were even a few awkward or tense moments: the volunteers working so hard on the wine-tasting event, only to realize that once again funds ran short this year, and the crowd gathered wasn’t as big as last year.

But now, late on Sunday night, I have to call it quits.

“Janine, thank you for helping me get such a head start on
this. And helping me understand it. This has been incredible. But honestly, we both have to work tomorrow—you know, our regular jobs. I can’t ask you to pull an all-nighter for this. I have all next week to finish with Craig.”

“I won’t argue. And you’re welcome. But seriously, you have good instincts for this. You’re going in the right direction. I’m glad we had the chance to go over this just between the two of us first. So when you’re in that edit bay with those guys, don’t let them walk all over you, okay? Stick to your vision.”

She grabs me by the shoulders as she finishes her pep talk and gives a little shake to emphasize her words. She’s deceptively strong for being so lean. I am listening to what she says, but I can’t help also wondering if she does that super-intense Pilates or something.

“I’m proud of you.” She smacks me with a kiss on the lips, and then lets go. That’s Janine for you; always expect the unexpected.

She hands me the box with all the discs of Wolf County, carefully labeled with the show’s name.

“What do you think? Do you like it for a title?” I hold up the box.

“Are you kidding? It’s perfect. And you don’t think you’re creative? You’re crazy.”

Those positive thoughts echo in my mind as I drive home and collapse onto my bed, still dressed and on top of the covers. I barely rally to set my alarm before letting my eyes close.

I check my phone again, for the tenth time in as many minutes. I sent Craig the draft of the sizzle reel as soon as I got home last night, and he has yet to respond. Just as I decide to give him five more minutes and then call, he texts. I pause before reading it, realizing how anxious I am waiting for his feedback.

Hmmm, not exactly the strongest of praise, but I guess that’s how these things go. It is only the first draft. Still, I am a little disappointed.

“Quiet on set!” Frank bellows, bringing me back to the present. I drop my phone and get my timer ready, pull my red pen out of my ponytail, and get my focus on the scene. The day drags, though. Usually when I’m on set, I feel like there’s never enough time. Every minute flies by while we’re trying to get as much done as we can. But all I can think about today is heading to the edit bay as soon as we wrap and working on the sizzle reel. I’m eager to see what Craig and his team have done with the footage.

It’s 4:52 p.m. when we’re about to wrap, but I haven’t heard from Craig. Of course, I don’t want to nag him, since he’s working too. It’s just harder than I thought it would be, not knowing what they’re doing up there. Working with Janine all weekend
may have given me the bug. I’m ready to get back in the booth, but somehow I feel like I have to be summoned by Craig, which is annoying.

I check my phone five minutes later and feel ridiculous. Not so ridiculous that I don’t check it again five minutes after that, and finally there is a text from Craig.

Every crew I’ve been on refers to the last shot of the day as the “martini shot.” It’s been around forever; it’s a universal truth that everyone is ready for martinis after a long day of shooting.

I’m used to feeling so much more confident in my own opinions and ideas than I do about this show. You could fill a Costco with what I don’t know about selling and making reality TV. But after the intense editing session with Janine, I feel like I’m getting the hang of it. I may not trust Craig dating-wise right now, but he certainly knows far more about how to sell this show than I do.

His text puts a huge smile on my face. I can’t help it. This is starting to feel so real. So possible.

“Wow. I wish I’d put that smile on your face.” Adam stops in front of me. His grin lets me know he meant the come-on, but he also wants an answer to the unasked question.

“The Wolf project, the one I was telling you and Stella about. It’s going well, that’s all.” I can’t resist bragging a little.

“That’s all? That’s great! I’m happy for you.” And again, he isn’t prying exactly. He isn’t asking for details, but he doesn’t walk away. So I fill the silence.

“Yeah, I got some really great footage this weekend, up in Wolf. Now we’re… Craig and I are getting it edited for some pitch conference this weekend.”

“Oh, you’re going down to Reality Buzz in Manhattan Beach?”

“You know about it?”

“Sure. One of my friends is a successful independent reality producer. He’s going to be speaking on one of the panels. It sounds like a pretty important event.”

“Yeah, Craig says it’s the best place to sell the show. So, you know, we’re busting it to get it ready by then.”

“Well, I’m excited for you, Maddy. Good luck.” He brushes my cheek with a kiss as he heads back to the trailers.

What is it with this drive-by kissing lately? I breathe out, 97 percent sure that I am hallucinating that I still smell his aftershave as I make my way to Crafty and grab two plates of food.

I find Craig and one of the HCP editors, Paul, in one of the edit bays. It looks much the same as it did when Janine and I were camped out this weekend—empty coffee cups and protein bar wrappers everywhere. When I walk in, they are scanning through Mrs. Gordon’s sit-down interview. They must be looking for something specific because they are blazing through on fast-forward and her voice sounds like a chipmunk at this speed. I smile when I catch that emotional moment when she talks about Mr. Gordon. It’s one of my favorite scenes in the whole reel.

“How’s it going?” I set down the food on a nearby table. It’s a small room, with huge computer monitors taking up most of one
wall. Paul stays focused on whatever it is that he’s looking for as Craig looks up at me.

“Hi, Maddy. Glad you’re here. It’s going great. You took perfect notes. I mean, of course you did.” He thinks he’s flattering me, complimenting me on my note-taking. And it’s a new feeling for me, realizing that I don’t want good notes to be my only contribution here. I know I did a lot more than that.

“What did you think watching the raw footage, though? We got such great stuff we didn’t even expect.”

“Oh, we don’t have time to screen every minute. We just went off your notes. I already worked on an outline for us to go on. Paul and I have pretty much had no problem finding the right beats to fill in the blanks.”

Fill in the blanks,
I think. After the lecture I got from Janine about how important it is to review the footage from scratch, I’m surprised to hear that Paul and Craig just went off my original notes, which I know left out such good material.
Never Cry Wolf
is more than just a paint-by-numbers concept; it’s about these people, and he needs to see their whole interviews to know that. But I haven’t even seen what they put together, so maybe it’s premature to worry. I still am such a rookie in this field, so I bite my tongue.

“Well, can I see what you have so far?”

“Sure. Paul, cue it up.” Paul grunts something unintelligible and drags the Mrs. Gordon interview off his main viewing screen. He uses his mouse to pull up another window that has a red graphic on it. He presses
PLAY
and the graphic contorts into the shape of a wolf and then slowly reshapes itself to read
Never Cry Wolf
. It’s a really cool effect, and I whisper that quickly before any talking starts. Craig smiles at my compliment but keeps his eyes on the screen. There are these quick flashes of the different views we shot. The beautiful scenic shots fill the screen, piling on top of each other.

“I’m not sure what kind of music will work best here. We’re kind of thinking a rock song. You know, like how
Deadliest Catch
has that Bon Jovi song? Something classic rock, like that.” Watching the rhythm of the different images on the screen, I can imagine what he’s talking about.

Then the scene cuts to Mike meeting with the blasters. It’s not winter yet, obviously, so I had them mock up what their early morning meetings are like, when the snow is fresh and they have to get up there by five or six o’clock and make sure the mountain is safe for skiers. They talk about setting off the charges in certain areas, safety, and so on. It made me uncomfortable to ask them to “act” for the camera, but the guys got into it quickly and they did a pretty good job. Besides, I reasoned, it’s only for the sample reel. We will get the real footage when we shoot over the winter.

Obviously Craig had pulled avalanche footage from public domain because he’d added that to the footage, really hammering home the dangerous element of their jobs. It’s effective.

Next up is Pete’s Tavern. Paul clearly added a lot of cuts to the footage, making it seem like the crowd’s been there a long time. Again, they added shots from somewhere else of drinks being passed around, close-ups of people drinking. And then they cut to the guys I interviewed, Matthew’s friends, talking about life in town during the season. Just when I’m about to object that we’re not trying to make a winter version of
Bachelor Pad
, the video cuts off. Paul hits
PAUSE
and they both turn to me.

“That’s as far as we’ve gotten. What do you think so far?”

“It seems like it’s coming together,” I say honestly. “I’m glad you found some footage to add of snow and avalanches because the visual really does enhance how dangerous their jobs are. It makes it look really cool. I wonder if you’re going a little too far, though, selling the nightlife in Wolf? It’s not
Girls Gone Wild
in the Snow.”

Craig barks laughter between bites of the food I brought up. “It is hardly
Girls Gone Wild
, Maddy. Don’t be such a prude. You’ve got to make it a little sexy, right?” Paul chortles a bit, too, which is annoying to me. I don’t even know this guy.

“No, I get what you’re going for. And we talked about playing up the singles scene. But it’s still… I don’t know… Are you thinking this is a ten p.m. show? I saw
Never Cry Wolf
”—I love saying it aloud—“as a show you could watch with your parents.”

“We need to keep our options open. We’re not creating a sizzle reel for a specific network, so it’s a good idea to show what we’re capable of. If a family network is the highest bidder, they can reel us in. If Nat Geo buys it, they’ll want to focus on the guy stuff—the blasting, the technology, the dangerous outdoors stuff. Who knows, Bravo might want to do a
Real Housewives of Wolf County
. We might want to have more of that angle ready to play up.”

Listening to Craig rattle off all these different approaches, I again am reminded how out of my element I am.

“We’ve made great progress,” Craig says, taking a sip of cold coffee. “Let’s call it quits, huh? Pick up again tomorrow?”

“Sure, Craig.” Paul starts saving the files on his computer. “I have a deadline tomorrow for Janine. We have to get the rough cut of episode one done. So I can’t really get to this until after probably four.”

“Sure. Great. We all do still have our day jobs to deal with. Right?” Craig laughs casually. As he gathers up his briefcase and iPad and starts making his way to the door, I catch on. I definitely do not want to be left to make small talk with Paul, so I grab my stuff and follow him out. The elevator doors ding open the second Craig presses the down button.

“Craig, we’re going to be shooting till eight p.m. at the best tomorrow.” I hate not being there for this part, but there’s no way I can replace myself on
The Wrong Doctor
set. I wouldn’t even
ask. “I didn’t want to say anything in front of Paul, but I’m really concerned about the direction of the presentation. I want to make sure that we represent ourselves accurately. Right?” I hesitate, unsure of how to say this. “I mean, I know this is your specialty, but what’s the point of selling the show under false pretenses?”

“It’s not a problem, Maddy. We’re on the same track here.”

“I don’t know if we are.” I take a deep breath. “Did you even look at the version I started with Janine? It wasn’t polished or anything, but it was definitely on the right track…”

Craig looks at me for a second, saying nothing. He takes a deep breath and sighs. “Okay. I get it. You obviously have a vision for the reel. Go with it. Do you want to work with Paul?”

“I think Janine really understood the show. She was pulling it together exactly as I had pictured it.”

The elevator dings and the doors slide open, and we both walk off together. “Then you set it up with Janine. We’ll screen it together on Friday so we can make any final adjustments and have it ready to go on Saturday, okay? You’ve obviously got a strong feeling about this. I think you should go with it.”

Craig leans in confidently, aiming for a gentle kiss on the lips. I should have been expecting it, but I jerk my head away. I take the time to gather my thoughts as I pull out my key card to unlock the door. With my hands full, I go to shove my shoulder into the door when Craig reaches past me and holds it open.

I mutter a “thanks” automatically as I go through, and he follows right behind me. I stop outside the building and turn back to face Craig with a deep breath. “Listen, Craig. I think we need to put any sort of personal relationship on hold for now. This project is already pretty intense, and I just don’t think it’s going to work for me to try to balance everything all at once.” I’m pretty proud of that line actually. I nicely dodged all the bullshit he’s pulled, knowing that I still have to work for him.

Craig looks away and sighs. “Maddy, I don’t think we need to make any big decisions right now. We’re both busy with work and doing this on the side; I understand that. But that’s not going to last forever. In fact, once we sell the show, we can step back and let the show runner do all the work.”

My spine straightens at his automatic assumption that I will allow myself to fade into the background, even if I don’t get to be in charge. But Craig keeps going. “We’re really good together. Let’s put a—”

“No. No pins. I’m not comfortable leaving this up in the air. We are working together on a project that is very important to me. And I have to report to you at HCP, so the waters are already muddied enough. Let’s please not make this more awkward than it already is. Okay?”

“I think you’re making a big mistake.” For a second, looking into his eyes, he seems really angry. This conversation could get ugly quick. But when he looks back at me, he has contained whatever that was. “Okay, but don’t worry. I’ll be waiting when you change your mind.” And then he steps off the curb and into his car, parked right in front.

Keys in hand, I start heading toward my car several rows back. Maybe I was wrong about the anger I thought I saw in his eyes. He seemed pretty calm as he walked away. This really could all be fine now. I can’t help feeling like I dodged a bullet.

As the engine roars to life, I have one mission to focus on—making the best sizzle reel ever, to prove I’m right about
Never Cry Wolf
. Things can still get dicey dealing with Craig on this, but at least the personal thing is resolved. Breaking up with your boss is not easy. I’m thinking I need a new rule #1: No bosses.