Scared Scriptless (17 page)

Friday morning I wake up from what could only be termed a long nap. Janine has been such an amazing friend and has burned the midnight oil by my side all week, unflinchingly going again and again over the footage, until finally we have at least five minutes of a perfected sizzle reel. I head to work with my iPad loaded with a final version that is fun, exciting, and dangerous—all of the elements we wanted. I mentioned to her the way the boys had pumped up the action/danger element of the blasters, and we added that into it. A good idea is a good idea. But we definitely kept to the heart of what I think
Never Cry Wolf
is really all about: the people and their stories.

Even though I haven’t slept more than four hours at a time for the last three nights, I am revitalized. I’m not on set more than ten minutes before both Billy and Adam are teasing me about how giddy am I.

“Hmmmm, someone must have had a good night last night. Did you get lucky? Or were they playing
Can’t Buy Me Love
on TBS again?” Billy teases.

“Ha-ha, Billy. If you must know, it’s work related.”

“You got the reel done for the conference tomorrow?” Adam asks, and I am touched he remembered.

“Yep! I finished it!” I guess it’s redundant based on the look on my face, but I can’t help but add, “I’m really happy with how it turned out.” It takes everything in me to refrain from begging
them to watch it. I am clutching my iPad like a proud parent. Luckily Adam beats me to the punch.

“Well, when are we watching?” Adam asks eagerly with Billy chiming in, “Let’s do this.”

I am suddenly consumed with excitement and nerves at my first real objective viewing.

“Yes! I would love for you to see it.”
Deep breaths, Maddy. Be cool.
“Maybe during a break or lunch, but you have to be honest. Don’t tell me it’s awesome if it isn’t, okay?”

“Of course, Maddy. I would never lie to you. Romeo over here, I can’t vouch for him.”

“Shut up, Fox.” Adam hits his arm, which must really have hurt, because even though Billy doesn’t flinch from the contact, he does reach up to rub the spot a minute later. “I’ll definitely tell you what I really think. I can’t wait.”

We finally get a break in the action of
The Wrong Doctor
around noon. Billy said they’d be in his trailer, so I head over when I’m done reviewing the next setup with Frank and the director. I was trying not to rush them, but Frank finally looked at me funny and asked if I had to go to the bathroom or something. I sheepishly said no and simmered down until they wrapped things up.

Knocking on Billy’s trailer door, the butterflies in my stomach are so strong I feel like I might explode. The door opens at the same time I hear Billy shout, “Come in!” Adam answers the door, holding it open for me from the inside, so I have to brush past him to climb into the Honey Wagon, the fancy RV actors get on location.

“Nice digs, huh?” Adam comments, seeing that it’s clearly my first time inside Billy’s trailer.

“Is that a stove?” I am momentarily distracted by the fact that there is an actual full-sized stove in Billy’s trailer. When would that ever be necessary?

“Billy insists on warm milk before bed. And a microwave just won’t cut it,” Adam says. “I’m surprised he doesn’t have a towel warmer too. Aren’t you?”

I don’t have time for their ribbing. “Do you guys want to see this or finish your pissing contest?” I don’t wait for an answer. I sit down on the sofa and find the video file Janine saved last night, or was it this morning? I turn the volume all the way up as both guys sit, one on either side of me. Adam braces one hand on the sofa behind me and leans in over my shoulder as I hit
PLAY
. We watch the whole thing like that. I try to see it with a fresh perspective, imagining how they must be looking at it as objective viewers.

When it fades out at the end, I can’t stand the silence. I jump up and turn around to look at them both. “I should’ve given you guys an introduction or something. Do I need to explain it at all?”

“Maddy. It’s fantastic.” Adam is the first one to speak. “Really. It’s clear and compelling and tells the story of Wolf County. I think it really sells your show.”

“The people are awesome,” Billy adds. “That moment with Mrs. What’s-Her-Name? The older woman.”

“Gordon,” I say, at the same time as Adam does. I look at him, surprised. He just taps his head above his ear and smiles. Ah yes, that soap star memory.

“Right, Mrs. Gordon is perfect. She’s exactly the moment that sells the heart of your show. I really liked that part.” Billy finishes his thought and they both mention a few other moments in the video that they really liked. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. They both point out all the same things Janine and I did as their favorites.

“Thank you both. So much. Seriously. It means a lot to me that you liked it. I’m so excited.” They take turns hugging me, and I know I am not imagining it when Adam’s hug lingers a beat
longer. As good as I felt this morning about what we had done, I am twice as excited and, maybe more importantly, confident sharing the reel with Craig. I know I’m going to have to sell it to him; this isn’t exactly what he pictured. But after Billy and Adam both had such a positive response, I know I’m right. I know this is the show. I leave the trailer on cloud nine.

It’s been two hours, fourteen minutes, and eleven seconds (not that I am counting) since I sent the sizzle reel to Craig, and it’s been complete radio silence.

We’re supposed to meet after production wraps tonight to go over the plan for tomorrow. Reality Buzz starts at 10:00 a.m. We need to be in Manhattan Beach, with everything set up and our pitch ready to go by then. I have no idea what happens at these conferences and maybe that is fueling my stress, but it feels like we’re really down to the wire here. That said, I have faith in Craig’s experience in this. He knows how to sell shows; his résumé speaks for itself. Even if he hasn’t sold a show since coming to Hogan’s company, he obviously has the skill sets. Also, based on the way he convinced everyone in Wolf to go along with the program, he can be persuasive and passionate. So we just need to put some finishing touches on the plan, practice the presentation a few times, and everything should be fine. I repeat that in my mind and take a deep breath.

At least the afternoon flies by. Frank had been working with Tanya, the director this week, on a fancy camera setup for the romantic reunion between Dr. Lucas and Vivian, the woman who’s been fighting to get him freed from the insurgents. The simplicity of their performances had even some of the toughest on the crew tearing up. After seeing it all laid out, Tanya decided to eliminate the big tricky camera angle, determining that the
straightforward close-ups would be more intimate and thus more effective, which means, as I glance at my watch for the thousandth time in the last ten minutes, that I’m done a lot earlier than I thought I would be. I can barely concentrate on getting all my paperwork turned in to the production office before forcing myself to walk, not run, across the crew parking lot to my car. Still having not heard a peep from Craig, I’m on a mission.

The setting sun is blinding as I drive up the hill to Craig’s home. It isn’t until I’ve pulled up to his driveway that I start to ask myself if this is even a good idea, just dropping by unannounced. Maybe he has a perfectly logical explanation for not replying to my texts. Maybe he had to go to a meeting or something. Maybe it’s something personal; he could even be sick.

Well, it’s too late now; I’m here. I walk up to the front door, with those big bay windows looking into the living room, and just as I am about to knock, I realize the lights are dim, as in “mood lighting.” Does he have a woman over?

With everything going on with
The Wrong Doctor
and the big Wolf deadline, I’m so glad I ended things with Craig. Being diplomatic about it because we have to work together on this project made me want to swallow my tongue, but I did it. I know I don’t want to be with him, but I
really
don’t want to walk in on Craig and another woman right now.

Lying snake. I mean, where are his priorities? We have work to do tonight. How can wining and dining some chick be more important than texting me back about Wolf County? I am really working myself into a frenzy standing on his porch, and then I look up and see his security camera and realize my little reverie has been caught on tape, or worse, is being watched by someone right now. Pure pride fuels me to knock on the door instead of skulking away.

“Coming!” Craig sounds annoyed. I’m determined to be adult
and mature about this, whatever awaits on the other side of the door. Either way, we still have work to do, and I can get through this. I have to, for the sake of Wolf County. There is too much at stake for me to wimp out now.

The door swings open.

“Hi, Craig. I’ve been trying to reach you all day.” I notice immediately that he has moved to stand in front of the open door so I can’t see into his house.

“Maddy. What are you doing here?” he asks, trying to sound casual.

“I’ve been trying to reach you since lunch.” I step right up to him. Either he’s going to let me in or embarrass himself coming up with some lame excuse for why he can’t. He relents and steps aside slightly. “I sent you the final cut of the Wolf County sizzle reel,” I continue in a cheerful voice. “I’m so excited about it. I was waiting for your reaction all day. I mean, I’m assuming you got it. The Dropbox file shows it had been downloaded.”

“Um, yeah, Maddy. I got it,” he starts, and then his eyes dart slightly over to the study door, partially ajar. I give up all pretense and march to the door, determined to catch him in the act. I barely beat him to the door, and I manage to swing it open, completely ignoring whatever nonsense he is uttering.

It takes me a minute to digest what I see. I guess I really had been expecting to catch some sort of intimate scene. My eyes travel over to the girl who is indeed hidden away in his house, but she’s fully dressed in mismatched denim on denim, and not even paying attention to me standing over her shoulder. She probably hasn’t even heard us, due to the headphones she has on. Her eyes are glued to the three huge computer screens on Craig’s desk. On all three monitors are different scenes from the footage of Wolf County. She’s replaying the same section of dialogue between my brother and one of the blasters in that mock meeting I’d staged
just for the sizzle. But as I watch, feeling Craig over my shoulder, now not even trying to get me out of there, this woman literally puts words in my brother’s mouth. Or rather takes words out. She deftly types out a few commands, drags the mouse, and presto, my brother’s innocuous instruction comes across like an accusation. She rewinds it, and with this new edit, and whatever else she’s done before I got there, I don’t even recognize the conversation playing on the monitor. It now seems as though Mike and this guy Sam are exchanging confrontational verbal jabs. If I hadn’t filmed this interaction myself, I would never have believed it happened completely differently.

POP!
The twentysomething editor loudly snaps her gum, pulling me out of my stupor. I turn to Craig with every accusation in my mind clearly spelled out on my face.

“Maddy.” He has the nerve to heave a huge sigh. But I stay silent, waiting. “You have to know that your reel won’t sell. It’s too… happy. Simple.” I force myself to breathe evenly. “There wasn’t any conflict. We need drama to sell this thing.” I stare into Craig’s face, searching for some sign of remorse.

“So, let’s see your version.” I want to see what he’s done, but I also am giving myself time to figure out what to say, how to handle this. I am in shock that he is sitting here editing a new reel behind my back. When was he going to tell me about this?

“Look at it this way… People argue, right? Are you telling me that Mike has never gotten into it with one of his crew?” I don’t respond. I’m thinking that, yes, of course they disagree from time to time, and Mike had agreed to allow a certain amount of that kind of conflict on the show, but manufacturing it like this is over the line.

“We don’t have the time or money to shoot everyone until we see their real interactions, what we’ll really get for the show, so we’re just enhancing the footage we got. Showing the potential.”

He’s so persuasive, which is exactly why he’s good at selling shows. He’s a salesman, I remind myself. He went around Wolf telling everyone he’d helped me come up with the idea… and he was so convincing that even I was starting to fall for it.

“Show it to me,” I say quietly.

At this point the girl sitting at the computer has pulled her headphones off. She’s watching us intently as if we were on a fourth monitor, another scene playing out for her to edit.

“Go ahead, Pam. Play it.”

She turns around and hits a few buttons on the keyboard. The opening logo pops up on the big screen on the right. She’s still popping her gum as she says, “It’s not finished. We haven’t gotten to the last sequence, and I haven’t sweetened it yet.” She hits
ENTER
. “But here ya go.”

I take a calming breath, preparing myself to be open-minded. I see that they’ve used the intro I put together with Janine, which makes me think maybe I’ve overreacted. Maybe Craig has a point, and he just made some small adjustments. But then the montage ends and it lands on a scene at Pete’s Tavern. Somehow, from even what I saw that first afternoon in Paul’s edit bay, they’ve gone even further and turned it into a raging club scene. They added flashes and neon lighting, and the whole impression is now more Vegas nightclub than casual bar hangout. It feels wrong to me, and my discomfort builds as they cut from that to the intimate hot springs footage, that I thought was plenty edgy already. But now they’ve turned it into
Temptation Island
. I know Craig will just say I am being naïve, so I silently keep watching.

Similar changes keep stacking up until we get to the Gordons’ garage. I don’t know how they did it, but they took one awkward moment between the loving couple and turned it into a serious marital confrontation. The magic of editing. A part of me marvels at this sloppy-looking editor’s meticulous skill. Obviously
Craig went to someone with a talent for exactly this type of manipulation. I stare in fascinated horror at Merry rolling her eyes at a comment from Walt. Both moments are totally taken out of context and streamed together to create tension and animosity. Another exchange, again completely misrepresented, shows Walt making a belittling comment about Merry, which was said to me as an inside joke but was edited to seem deadly serious. I feel tears of rage spring unwillingly to my eyes. It just won’t stop. If my parents saw this, if the Gordons ever saw this, they would be so hurt, so betrayed. By me. They put their trust in me. I was the one who allowed this to happen. They believed me when I said I would protect them and make it a show they could be proud of.

“Stop it! Turn it off. I’ve seen enough!” I look at the completely foreign and complicated keyboard. I don’t have the first idea how to pause the video, never mind delete the damage they’ve done. I am shaking as I turn to Craig. “How dare you?!” From the look on his face, it’s obvious that he knew this would be my reaction. And he did it anyway.

“Calm down, Maddy. This isn’t that big a deal.” He seems resigned, which only adds to my rage.

“Calm down? Not a big deal? Are you kidding me? This is a huge deal. This isn’t who these people are. This isn’t what Wolf was supposed to be about.” Perhaps I should have a lucid argument, some sort of calm way to convince Craig to do it my way, but this is so far beyond that any chance of calm flies out the window. I can’t be next to Craig for five more minutes, never mind work with him on this project.

“So what was your big plan, Craig? Show the networks this terrible video and then deal with the consequences later? As if Hogan would ever be okay with that!” I don’t even bother to wait for his answer. It doesn’t matter what his latest scheme was—in his mind, the end will always justify the means. “We are done. I mean,
the show. Everything. I am absolutely not going to be a part of the hatchet job you are trying to do on my hometown.” I am practically spitting the words at this point. I turn toward the door and walk out. It’s not some grand exit line, but I’ll take it. As I stride toward my car, I feel like I’m practically floating on my righteous indignation. Perhaps it’s the anger distracting me, but I don’t see the little edge on the driveway where it meets the sidewalk. I stub my toe so hard I know it’s probably bleeding, but I refuse to look at it until I get inside my car, which thankfully is blocked from view by a large row of hedges. Tears burn under my eyelids as I slam my hand down on the steering wheel, again and again.

I want to scream it at the top of my lungs:
I was WRONG! I was WRONG!
I’m so mad at myself for believing that he could be different, especially after what he already did. Does he think that I’m that big a fool?

I take a deep breath and wipe at my tears. I don’t have time for a pity party right now. Craig cannot show that tape, and I know just what I have to do to stop him, even if I dread making the call. I turn my car on and dial.

“Hogan Chenny’s office,” Hudson answers.

“It’s Maddy. I need to speak to Hogan. It’s urgent.”

“One second. Let me put you through to his cell.”

I practice my yoga breathing while I wait. I know I have to collect my thoughts and explain in a calm, coherent manner. I’ve never complained to Hogan about anything, really. I’ve always settled it myself or with my direct boss. I know I’m right to go straight to Hogan on this one, but I can’t help but be nervous too.

“Maddy, honey. What’s going on?”

“It’s about the reality show. I’m sorry to bother you with this, but I felt really strongly that you need to know what’s going on.”

“I’m listening.” Hogan goes from friendly concern to business in an instant.

“I know you picked up on the tension between me and Craig at the pitch meeting. I didn’t want to get into it then; I thought we could work it out. But if you’ll give me a second, I think you need to hear the whole story now. The bottom line is, Craig had completely misrepresented the situation to me about the show. He implied to me that you had not only allowed him to pursue developing a reality show, but also were encouraging it. When I came up with the concept, he made me think you were completely on board.”

“I figured as much based on your reaction. You know how I feel about reality TV. I’ve never been shy about my opinion. I’m surprised you were so easily convinced otherwise.” It stings, how right he is.

“Believe me, I should’ve known better, or at least checked with you first. I completely get that. But I hope you understand, now that I’ve gotten my family and a lot of the community on board, I can’t just walk away. And the truth is, I don’t want to. I think it’s a good idea, it’ll be a good show, and it’ll do the community a lot of good.”

“Why do you think I went along with it? I feel the same way.” This gives me a measure of relief.

“So, I’m e-mailing you a link to the sizzle reel I finished this week. Craig and I had been planning to go to Reality Buzz in Manhattan Beach tomorrow to pitch it.”

“I know, I gave my permission. Look, I’m in the middle of dinner and accepted the call because you said it was urgent. Is there something else?”