Scarlet Heat (Born to Darkness) (44 page)

She looked up at me,
her big eyes filled with anxiety and shame. Emotions that by all rights,
I
ought
to be feeling. I frowned. So Addison had been right—Taylor
did
think
she’d forced me in some way.

“You think
you
hurt
me?”
I asked roughly. “Taylor, you saw the thing I turned into. You
saw how strong I am—and even in this form, I still have some of that strength.
There’s no way you could have hurt me or forced me to do something I didn’t
want to do. Even when you were in heat.”

She looked at me
hopefully.

“Really?”

“Really,” I said.

“Oh, well…” She
cleared her throat. “That’s a, uh, relief then.”

“And anyway,” I went
on, determined to get it out. “You’re not the only one who lost control. I
was…pretty wild myself. That’s why I was so upset—I was sure you’d hate me
after we were done. When you came back to yourself.”

“I don’t really
remember the, uh, act itself,” she said. “What I mostly remember is feeling
like I was…was empty inside and begging you…” She looked down at her hands.
“Begging you to fill me,” she ended in an embarrassed whisper.

“I filled you, all
right,” I said, more sharply than I had intended. “I wasn’t gentle about it
either.
That’s
what had me so ashamed I couldn’t even fucking
look
at
you afterward. I mean…” I ran a hand through my hair. “The moon was almost full
and I was going crazy from my damn curse and the way you smelled so fucking
hot, but that’s no excuse. There’s
never
going to be an excuse good
enough for what I did.”

“Well, maybe…maybe
that was what I needed.” She looked up at me. “I’m a vet, Victor. I know it’s
not exactly a
gentle
experience when animals breed. In fact, it’s often
rough and violent and I
was
in heat.”

“None of that
matters,” I argued. “I should have done a better job holding myself back.
Especially when I knew what that bitch Celeste put you through.”

“Right. And if you
didn’t
know, she made sure to tell you the other night, didn’t she?” Taylor said
bitterly. “She really rubbed it in.” Two spots of color appeared high on her
cheeks and her eyes were suddenly bright with unshed tears.

“Hey…” I couldn’t keep
my hands to myself anymore. I cupped her cheek and looked into her eyes. “Hey,
what is it, baby?”

Taylor pulled away
from my touch.

“I just…I didn’t want
you to know that about me. What she did to me. What she let other people do.”

“I already knew about
Roderick,” I pointed out softly.

“Yes, but you didn’t
know about the others. About how Celeste passed me around like a…like a Goddamn
party favor.” She buried her face in her hands. “God, I wanted to die when she told
you that.”

“You almost did,” I
pointed out. “Gwendolyn told me when I called to ask her for details. She
said…she said you were right on the edge of crossing over and you only came
back for me.”

“I shouldn’t have,”
she said, still refusing to meet my eyes. “I knew you could never feel the same
for me after hearing what Celeste had to say.”

“What?” I stared at
her in disbelief. “You think I care about
that?
Baby, none of that was
your fault. And besides, I don’t care who you were with in the past—except it
makes me want to kill them if they hurt you.”

She gave a broken
little laugh that was more than half sob.

“So you don’t care
that I’m damaged goods?”

“Never call yourself
that,” I said fiercely. “You’re not damaged—you’re precious. And beautiful, and
perfect, and…and everything I don’t fucking deserve.” I sighed.

Taylor finally looked
up at me.

“Then why haven’t you
called or come to see me?” she asked in a small voice. “Is it because I got
Gwendolyn to break our bond? I swear I only did that because I thought I hurt
you. And the idea that I might have done to you what was done to me…” She shook
her head. “It was more than I could stand, Victor. I thought I was doing the
right thing, setting you free so you’d never have to see me anymore and be
reminded of what I had done.”

“God…” I sighed.
“We’re such a fucking mess. Both of us going off half cocked, assuming all
kinds of shit. If we’d ever just sit down and talk…”

“We’re talking now,”
she said quietly. “And you still haven’t told me why you haven’t tried to get
in touch with me.”

“It’s not because I
don’t care anymore,” I said. “It was because of what happened the night we…uh,
had sex. And then after, when you saw my beast—”

“That was a little bit
of a shock,” she confessed. “I wish you would have told me about him before.”

I shook my head. “I
didn’t dare. Didn’t know what you’d think of me. I was afraid you’d hate me.”

“How could I hate you
for your beast, Victor? He’s a part of you, just like the wolf. I was scared at
first but you never tried to hurt me in that form. You just wanted to love
me…to comfort me. It was
sweet
.”

Her words startled me
into a short, sharp laugh.

“Sweet? You saw me
turn into a fucking nine foot tall ravening wolfman and you’re calling it
sweet?”

“Well, it
was,”
she
said defensively. “You nuzzled me, Victor. You tried to heal me, the way I
healed you after I bit you. After I…fed from you.” Her cheeks got pink again.
“And you saved me from Celeste. I
like
your beast. He’s a little scarier
and a hell of a lot bigger than your wolf, but he’s still a good guy inside.
Just like you are.”

I could scarcely
believe what she was saying but the earnest look in her big blue eyes told me
she was being completely honest. She really did love and accept me in all my
forms—even the cursed one.

“Taylor,” I said
hoarsely. “Baby…you don’t know what it does to me to hear you say that. The
other weres—”

“I know what they
think but I’m not one of them,” she said crisply. “I’m not scared of you,
Victor—no matter what form you take.”

“That’s…thank you.”
Gratitude overwhelmed me and I forgot I was trying to keep my good side to her.
I put my hands on her shoulders, wishing I dared to pull her in for a hug.
“Thank you,” I said again.

“You’re welcome,” she
said softly. “I really mean it, you know.”

“I know. It’s just…
I’ve never had anyone say that to me before,” I told her. “Even my own family,
when they found out…well, my dad was the one who had me branded, as a warning
to the rest of our kind.”

“That’s
awful,”
she
said indignantly. “That’s—” And then her eyes widened. “Oh, Victor…oh,
no,”
she
whispered.

Shit.
I knew at once she’d seen it. The way she
scanned the right side of my face and the horror and sorrow I saw in her eyes
told it all.

“Yeah, speaking of
brands,” I said roughly, pulling away and putting some distance between us.
“This is the third reason I didn’t want to see you. I’m not as
pretty
as
I used to be and I was never very fucking gorgeous in the first place.”

“You think this
matters to me?” She reached up to touch my branded cheek but I ducked away from
her. “Well, it doesn’t,” she said, frowning. “Not a bit.”

“Maybe it matters to
me,”
I said, frowning. “And it
should
matter to you, too. You’re fucking
gorgeous, baby. You don’t want to be seen with me, not how I look now.”

“I’d be proud to be
seen with you no matter how you looked,” she said quietly. “And I’m offended
you’d think otherwise.”

“Look, that’s really
sweet but—”

“Let me heal you,” she
interrupted before I could finish giving her the polite brush off.

“What?” I frowned at
her.

“Let me heal you,” she
repeated. “At least let me try.”

I looked at her for a
minute, speechless. For some reason, the idea that she might be able to heal me
had never even crossed my mind. Maybe because I was so sure she must hate or
despise me after seeing my beast and knowing what had really happened the night
we had sex.

“Do you think you
can?” I asked at last.

“I don’t know.” She
frowned. “I’ve healed you from silver wounds before—the guy with the silver
knuckles at the club and the cursed lash—but both times the wounds were fresh.”

“And not burned in
with fire,” I pointed out. “Burns are the hardest wounds to heal.”

“We won’t know unless
we try,” she said lightly.

I looked at her
uncertainly.

“I don’t know, Taylor.
“I mean, you don’t have to do this just because…because we were together for
awhile.”

I thought she got a
little paler but she lifted her chin and looked at me.

“I know we’re broken
up now, but you got that brand trying to save me. The least you can do is let
me try to heal it.” She reached up to cup my branded cheek and this time I
allowed it. Her soft fingers on my skin sent a tingle of fire through my veins.
“Please, Victor,” she whispered. “Just let me try, for…for old times sake.”

Her gentle touch and
the soft look in her beautiful eyes was too much for me. I knew I ought to push
her away for her own good but I couldn’t help myself.

“Yeah, all right,” I
sighed. “I don’t know why you want to, but you can try.”

“Good,” she said at
once and grabbed me by the hand.

“Where are we going?”
I asked, as she led me through the house.

“Someplace I can work
on you.” She got to the living room and settled me down on the couch. “You’re
too tall to reach unless you’re sitting down,” she reminded me.

“Oh, right.” I
slouched down a little, leaning back against the arm of the brown leather
sectional to give her better access.

“Good.” She got on the
couch beside me and then straddled me before I could say anything. “I hope you
don’t mind.” Her cheeks were pink but she looked determined. “It’s easier to reach
you this way.”

“Of course I don’t
mind.” I hoped my voice didn’t sound too hoarse. She was fully dressed—wearing
jeans and a light blue button-down blouse—but I couldn’t help remembering the
last time she’d straddled me to heal me. The way she’d been half naked, only
wearing my oversized t-shirt. God, I had been able to see her tight pink
nipples so clearly through the thin material, and when she leaned down I could
feel her hot little mound pressing against my shaft. She had licked my cheek so
sweetly and later, allowed me to go down on her and taste her creamy pussy…

The memory was so
fresh I could still taste her…could still taste the hot, salty-sweet flavor of
her desire. I could still hear the soft, helpless sounds she made when I pushed
my tongue deep inside her and teased her sweet little clit…

My cock started to
throb in the tight confines of my jeans but I tried hard to ignore it.
Stop
it,
I lectured myself.
She said it herself—we’re broken up now. It’s not
like that between us anymore.

Except I wanted it to
be.
God
, how I wanted it to be.

“Okay, let’s see what
we can do,” Taylor murmured. Cupping my face in both hands, she turned me to
one side so she could get better access to my cheek. I lay there passively,
letting her do what she wanted, trying to keep myself from grabbing her.

She surprised me by
starting with a soft, gentle kiss on my wounded cheek.

“Oh, Victor,” she
whispered and her eyes were bright with tears again.

“Just do it, baby.
It’s okay,” I murmured.

“It’s not okay. You
got this for me.” She kissed me again. “She hurt you and it’s all my fault.”

“Not your fault,” I
insisted, reaching up to stroke her cheek. “Not at all. Don’t think for a
minute I feel that way.”

“Well,
I
do.”
She sniffed. “Okay, let me see if I can set this right.”

I tried to brace
myself but I still had to bite back a groan when I felt her warm, wet tongue
tracing the brand burned into my flesh. Her hair fell around me like a curtain,
her sweet scent invading my senses while her talented mouth mapped my cheek. Her
full breasts were pressed against me, and I swore I could feel the tight points
of her nipples rubbing against me, right through the fabric of her blouse. My
cock surged again, and I had to ball my hands into fists on my thighs to keep
from dragging her down and rolling her under me for a long, deep kiss.

God, I wanted her—but
I could never have her again. I just had to remember that.

This sweet torture
seemed to go on forever but finally Taylor pulled back, frowning.

“It’s no good,” she
said, looking like she was going to cry. “I’m so sorry, Victor, but I don’t
think it’s going to work. The wound isn’t fresh anymore.”

I sighed, trying to
suppress my disappointment.

“Well, it was a long
shot anyway. Thanks for trying.” I couldn’t stand to be close to her anymore—not
without wanting to do a lot more than lie there passively while she licked my
cheek. I started to shift her off of me but Taylor stopped me with one hand
planted firmly on my chest.