Scarlet Heat (Born to Darkness) (43 page)

“It
does
matter.”
Addison took another scoop of her upside down banana split—another Bo’s
specialty. Apparently her diet was on hold, at least for now. Probably she was trying
to build herself up after all the blood I’d taken lately.

I sighed. I loved
Addison but drinking from her was awkward and uncomfortable. I
should
be
drinking from Victor—I couldn’t help remembering how good it felt to sink my
fangs into his throat. To hear the low noises of pleasure he made and the way
he got so hard every time he fed me… But there was no point in thinking about
that. It was never going to happen again. Not after…

“After what?” Addison
demanded and I realized I had spoken the last thought aloud.

“After what Celeste
told him,” I said.

“Well? What did she
tell him?” She took another bite.

“She told him…” I
pushed the freeze away, my appetite abruptly gone. “She told Victor what she
did to me—what she let other people do. She told him I was her…her whore.” I
put a hand over my eyes. “And it’s true, Addison—every word.”

“You’re acting like
you had a choice in the matter,” she said angrily. “That bitch Celeste forced
you into it, Taylor!”

“I know,” I whispered.
“But I didn’t want him to know that about me. About what happened while I was
with her.”

“Oh, honey…” She put
her hand on my arm. “If he really loves you, that won’t matter to him.”

“If he really loves me
why hasn’t he come to see me?” I stirred my freeze, dragging my straw aimlessly
through the bright green mixture. How many years had I longed to taste just one
more lime freeze from Bo’s? And now I could drink them until my tongue turned
green but I didn’t want them. All I wanted was Victor…but it seemed he didn’t
want me. Not that I blamed him.

“I don’t know,”
Addison said. “Maybe he’s worried about what you think of him now after you saw
him turn into that…thing.”

“That thing was his
beast. It’s part of him,” I said sharply. “Just like his wolf is part of him.”

“Well, that’s pretty understanding
of you, hon,” she said dryly. “And it’s great you feel that way but you have to
admit, not a lot of women would be willing to overlook the fact that their man
has not one but
two
alter egos and both of them are furry and howl at
the moon.”

“I don’t care about
that,” I said stubbornly. “And Victor knows I love his wolf—why would he think
I didn’t like his beast? I mean, he was a little scary but he didn’t try to
hurt me. No, that can’t be it.”

“Maybe it’s because
you basically divorced him without talking about it first.” Addison took
another bite and wiped chocolate sauce off her chin with a thin paper napkin.
“I mean, from hearing him talk about it, he took those vows pretty seriously.
And breaking them early nearly got both of you killed.”

“Addison.”
I glared at her.

“What? You asked.” She
sighed. “Look, maybe it’s none of those things or a combination of them. All I
know for sure is if you don’t talk to him you’ll never know.
Call
him.”

“I can’t—he hasn’t
called me.”

“So?”

“So, I don’t want to
be the one to call first—it’s too desperate,” I protested.

“Will you listen to
yourself? You’re a strong, independent woman—a supernatural creature with
almost unlimited physical strength and immense magical capabilities and you’re
acting like you’re back in high school,” she scoffed.

“Excuse me,” I
snapped. “I know it must seem stupid to you but this is
complicated
. I
don’t want to chase after him if he doesn’t want me.”

“Of
course
he
wants you. He came after you even though he knew he was walking into a trap.
Even though he was pretty sure he was going to die—he
still came.
And
you…
”
Addison pointed at me with her white plastic spoon. “You came back
from the freaking
dead
for him.”

I frowned. “I don’t
actually remember a whole lot of that.”

“Well, Gwendolyn does.
She said you were all set to go into the light—and by the way, you ought to
tell your bigoted parents that because apparently vampires
can
go to
Heaven. Anyway, you were almost past the pearly gates and she got you to come
back by saying Victor’s name.”

“She did?” I asked. I
had vague, blurry images of a vast black pit filled with writhing things and
the horror of falling…and then waking up in my own body. But that was as far as
my memory went.

Addison nodded. “You
weren’t even going to come back for
me,
roomie—but you came for him. You
came back for
Victor.
” She pushed her spoon back into the upside down
banana split. “I can’t eat any more of this. I’m going to be sick.”

“I didn’t know I was
that far gone,” I said quietly. “I mean, I had some vague memories but I
thought they were just dreams…nightmares.”

“They were real,”
Addison said shortly. “I didn’t want to talk to you about it because I didn’t
want to think about how close…how close I came to losing you.” She sniffed
dabbed at her eyes with another paper napkin.

“Addison…”

She cleared her
throat, obviously trying to get control of her emotions.

“I don’t know for sure
but I got the impression that Gwendolyn risked a lot to bring you
back—apparently, it’s kind of a big no-no to snatch someone from death’s door
like that. But she wouldn’t have been able to do it if you weren’t willing to
come. And the only reason you were willing was—”

“Victor,” I finished
for her, in a whisper.

“Right.” She nodded
decisively. “You know what? You’re right—
don’t
call him.”

I looked at her in
surprise.

“But you just said—”

“Don’t call him—
go
see him.
Now, tonight.”

“What, just show up at
his door? I can’t do that. I don’t even have an excuse—you went and got my
clothes almost a week ago, right after it happened.”

“I know—that was
really
stupid
of me,” Addison said.

“And you said he
wouldn’t even see you,” I reminded her. “You said he just left the clothes
outside in a box.”

“Will you forget about
the clothes? They don’t matter because you
still
have an excuse to go
see him.”

“What? To ask how he
likes the weather? Maybe I could pretend I was there as his vet and ask to have
a look at his wolf,” I said, only half sarcastically.

“You know, that’s not
half bad,” she said thoughtfully. “But no, I had something else in mind.” She
jumped up from her dining room table—I was still staying at her place while she
spent most nights with Corbin—and went into the other room. When she came back,
she had a small oblong box in her hand.

“What’s that?” I
asked, eyeing the box suspiciously.

“Your perfect excuse.”
She opened the box. “Ta-da!”

A lump rose in my
throat. Inside the small cotton-lined box was the strand of pearls Victor had
asked me to wear the night we went to the pack council. They gleamed softly in
the golden light from the overhead lamp.

“They’re beautiful,” I
whispered.

“I know. I had them
professionally cleaned and restrung. See—not a spot of blood anywhere.”

“Thank you.” I took
the box from her reverently.

“Victor asked you to
wear those because he loves you,” Addison said quietly. “I honestly don’t think
that’s changed, Taylor. I don’t know why he isn’t calling or coming by—but I
know there has to be a good reason. Go to him and find out what it is.”

“But what if…” My
voice wavered. “What if it’s because he doesn’t…doesn’t want me anymore?”

“Then at least you’ll
know,” she said firmly. “The main thing is to find out. You can’t keep living
like this, hon—you have to find out one way or another so you can get on with
your life.”

I knew she was right
but still, it was one of the hardest things I’d ever contemplated doing.

“If Victor rejects
me,” I said. “If he doesn’t want me anymore, Addison…I don’t… don’t know how
I’ll stand it.”

“If that happens, I’ll
be there for you, roomie.” She reached over and gave me a hug. “Just like
always, okay?”

“Okay,” I whispered
and clutched the small box containing the pearls. “Okay, Addison, I’ll do it. I
just hope I won’t regret it.”

“You won’t.” She
hugged me harder. “It’s going to be okay, Taylor. I don’t know how, but all of
this is going to work out all right.”

“I hope you’re right,”
I said, hugging her back. “God, I really hope you’re right.”

Chapter
Twenty-nine—Victor

The sound of the
doorbell caught me by surprise. I wasn’t expecting anyone that night. Hell, I
wasn’t expecting anyone ever again. I was a pariah to the local pack now and I
couldn’t exactly hang out with any of the humans I worked with—they were all my
employees. And besides, humans don’t get us. Not really.

Of course, it could be
Pack Master Wainright, coming to get vengeance for LeeAnn’s death. I didn’t
remember killing her—just like I didn’t remember killing Celeste—but I knew
from talking to Corbin that I had. I’d had plenty of provocation with LeeAnn
but it still made me sick to think of what I’d done while in my cursed form.
Celeste though, that was a different matter. I was
glad
that bitch was
dead—in fact, I only wished I could kill her again and remember it this time,
so I could really savor the experience. She deserved everything she got and
more.

The doorbell rang
again. Could it have something to do with Celeste? I supposed the vampires I
had orphaned by killing her might be after me, but somehow I doubted it. She
hadn’t exactly been the best mistress to them. In fact, if she’d treated them
anything like she had Taylor…

I shut that thought
down quick, before it could invade my brain and make me feel worse than I
already did. I’d been missing Taylor something fierce in the past week but I
hadn’t been able to face her. I guess I was hoping that the branding scar I’d
gotten the night of the full moon would somehow heal itself or at least get a
little less unsightly. But it was still as ugly as ever. I went to work with it
and my crew were smart enough not to say anything but I could feel them
looking. As for facing Taylor that way…well, I just couldn’t.

The doorbell rang a third
time.

“All right,” I
growled. “I’m
coming
.”

Persistent son of a bitch,
whoever they are.
Probably
Wainright. Even though he knows LeeAnn brought it on herself, he’s still going
to want retribution. Well, let him come. If he honestly thinks he can take me
in a fair fight—

My thoughts were cut
off abruptly when I opened the door and saw Taylor standing there. My first
impulse was to pull her close and hug her but I stopped myself. She’d seen my
beast—I couldn’t just go lunging at her like that. My second thought was to
keep her from seeing my face. I kept my left side to her as I opened the door a
little wider.

“Hi,” she said
timidly. “I hope you don’t mind me dropping by without calling first.”

“No.” I cleared my
throat. “No, of course not.”

“I brought you these.”
She handed me a box.

“Thanks.” I took it.
Inside were my mother’s pearls. I felt like someone had just dropped an anvil
on my heart and crushed it flat. Great, she was here to say goodbye.

Only she wasn’t going.
In fact, we were just standing there staring at each other like a couple of
mute fools.

“I…um…I also wanted to
see how you were,” Taylor said at last. “Can I…could I come in?”

“Uh…now really isn’t
the best time—” I started, and then realized I sounded like an absolute
bastard. She’d lived with me for almost a month—we’d been
blood-bonded
—and
I wasn’t going to let her in? I couldn’t do that. “Um, I mean, come on in,” I
said, taking a step back.

“Thanks.” She nodded
uncertainly and stepped past me into the house. Her sweet, feminine smell did
things to me, making me instantly hard, but I pushed my desire down
desperately. There was no point in wanting her. Not now.

“The place looks
good,” she said, surveying the kitchen which I had repainted in her absence.
Not like I really needed to but I had already finished up the rest of the house
and I had to have something else to keep me busy.

“Got the upstairs
finished too—finally,” I said gruffly. “I mean, I should have done it earlier.
I just never seemed to have time before…”

“Before I moved out,”
she finished for me. “Look, Victor, about that—” She turned to face me and I
moved quickly, putting my left side to her again, pretending I was studying the
cabinets.

“Yeah?” I said trying
to sound casual.

“I just…I want you to
know I feel bad about how things, um, ended between us.” Her voice sounded
tight but it was clear she was determined to get it all out. “I mean, I’m not
exactly sure what happened. All I know is that I was so far gone that night
into… into heat…” She cleared her throat and her cheeks got pink. “Anyway, I
sort of lost all control. So if I did something that hurt you, or if I made you
do something…something against your will, well, please know that was never my
intention and I’m so,
so sorry.”