Suicide
Authors: Darlene Jacobs
C
opyright
© 2015 by Darlene Jacobs
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
T
his is
book 1 of a 4 book series. Books 2-4 will be released within two weeks of each other beginning in August.
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.
I
stand
at the edge of the ocean with my toes buried in the sand. I remove my clothing one piece at a time. First my jacket, then my shirt and bra; followed by my sweatpants and panties.
N
o one is around
. I'm alone on this beach, so I feel liberated. It's a relief to have finally made the decision to leave this world the same way that I came into it.
N
o one would miss me
. My ex-boyfriend dumped me for a red-headed sorority girl with freckles. Can you believe that? My mom remarried and now has a shiny new stepson to brag about named Jake.
I
can't stand Jake
. He's an alpha male about as perfect as perfect comes. Especially when compared to me. His first year in college and he's already on the Dean's list. He's a Rugby player with a million cheap dates throwing themselves at him.
W
hat do I have
? A piece of crap car that squeals every time I start it up, three Facebook friends and my incontinent dog, Buttons. Not much to live for.
I
walk
towards the water's edge and stick my toes in. Pretty chilly. But what do I care? I wade into the ocean, knee, then waist, then chest deep. My lips skim the surface of the water. I allow myself to sink without putting up a fight.
J
ust then
, I'm yanked by the arm, thrown over the shoulder and brought back to shore. It's Jake.
A
s I lay naked
in his arms, my eyes transfixed on his pink, smooth lips that curl up at the corners. Why do I suddenly want to kiss him?
“
W
hat the hell
are you doing?” Jake shouts. I say nothing. Jake can’t help but run his eyes over my fully naked body in his state of exasperation.
I
should be embarrassed
, but I’m not.
I
should be grateful
, but I’m not.
I
t must have been
a full minute before Jake grabs my shirt and covers me with it. I sit up.
“
W
hy did you do it
?” I ask. Jake shakes his head, “You mean save your pretty little ass?”
“
Y
es
. How did you know I was hear?”
J
ake responds
, “Your mom told me where to find you.”
“
D
on’t you mean
, ‘our’ mom?” I ask.
“
S
he’s my step-mother
. I have a real mother. She just happens to be in France with her new amoureux. He probably wears a beret and scarf and has one of those skinny mustaches.”
I
laugh
out loud at his description of his mother’s lover. “See, life is good!” Jake pronounces.
I
stand
up and begin to put my clothes back on. Jake stands as well and turns his back with false modesty, so that I can’t see that he is hard. I’m sure from rescuing me and all; must be an adrenaline rush thing.
I
study
his form while I dress. His jeans hug his lean hips and flow over his round backside, as if they were made specifically for him. His white shirt is tucked in at the waist. I wish I was that shirt.
I
’ve only gotten
glimpses of his six pack chest from a youtube video of one of his rugby games where he tares off his shirt after he scores a try before the conversion kick.
Y
eah
, I know a little something about rugby. I studied up once Jake came into our lives. But I would never let him know that.
I
’ve known
Jake exactly three months and two days… this being day two. His father could not be more proud of his studdly son, nor my mother.
I
’m
the black sheep of the family; the one with all the problems that my mom is happy to ignore. When Jake and his dad, Ben moved in, my mom finally had her perfect family. That is, it would be perfect, if I wasn’t in the way.
I
slip
my panties back on, my bra, shirt and sweatpants. “You can turn around now,” I announce to Jake.
J
ake spins around slowly
. Still drenched, my cotton shirt clings to my saturated bra. My nipples round and hard, pierce through. I tame my pulsating pussy by squeezing my cheeks together.
I
can’t believe
I am feeling this way. Perhaps it’s from almost dying. That must surly be it.
“
S
o why did
you want to see me?” I asked Jake.
J
ake takes
a step closer and grabs my hand. “I know you’ve been having a rough time of it. Though I don’t know why.”
H
e blushes
, “You are one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen.” After a nervous laugh, he continues, “I’m heading back to campus and I want you to come with me. I’ll show you the sites, take you to a party. Maybe you’ll want to enroll. You certainly have the grades for it.”
A
fter a moment of thought
, “Sure,” I said, “Why not.”
J
ake responds
, “Great! Your mom has already packed you a bag. I have it in my car. Let’s go.”
“
N
ow
?” I said in a raised voice, a bit surprised at how fast things were progressing. “Why not now?” he asked.” “We can call AAA and have them tow your car back to the house. Cool?”
“
C
ool
,” I said, when I really meant, oh shit. I’ve gone from sixty to zero, back to sixty in the span of thirty minutes. I came here thinking I had nothing left, and now I’m leaving with my stepbrother, a man so damn hot I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.
A
ll I felt
towards him was anger and resentment for having it all, which I felt, left me with so little. So why is he being so nice to me now?
I
’ve never shown
him any kindness. In fact, it’s been quite the opposite. I’ve gone out of my way to ignore him, skip his games and eat dinner in my room to avoid him and his father.
I
even left
a few nails in the driveway to puncture his tire after he came back home from some A-list beach bonfire. But that backfired. Instead of puncturing his tire, it punctured my moms.
W
e walk to his car
, and sure enough I see my suitcase in his back seat. He opens my car door for me. I stand there wondering what the hell he’s doing; wondering if he wanted to get something out the front seat first.
“
H
aven’t
you had a man open a car door for you before?” I said no. I’m so used to just climbing in. I had no idea Jake was so damn old-fashioned.
B
ut I have to admit
, I like it. I like feeling special.
I
roll
down the window and stick my head out; the same way Buttons does it. My wet hair clings to my shoulders. I try to brush it back with my fingers, but I just make more of a mess of things.
J
ake reaches
over my lap and brushes past my inner thighs before he opens the glove box. “Look inside,” he tells me. I do and find a comb. I use it to tame my tangled curls.
“
I
’ve always loved
your hair,” Jake confides as we make our way down the road. “The way your curls bounce up and down, reminds me of… never mind.”
J
ake blushes
and tries to change the subject. I’ve never seen him embarrassed before.
B
ut now I am curious
, “Reminds you of what, Jake?” Jake takes his eyes off the road for a moment as he stares into my eyes with a deep piercing stare; the type of stare that curls your toes and wets your panties. His eyes jump from my chest to my eyes and back again.
“
R
eminds
me of how a woman looks when she’s on top of you, straddling you… sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
I
reassure
Jake that it’s okay and that I wasn’t offended. In fact, I was aroused. I pictured myself as that woman straddling him as he drove.
J
ake calls
me by my name, and it feels like the first time that I’ve heard it. “Sidney…” I had no idea my name could sound so romantic, and flow off the tongue like honey.
“
S
idney
, you tried to kill yourself tonight. That is serious. I have no idea if you would have gone through with it or not. But you took the first step. I have no business… I don’t want to take advantage of you or the situation.”
T
ake advantage
? Jake had no idea. If it was not for him, I would not be feeling more alive than I have ever felt before. I had no idea what it was to feel something for a guy; I mean
really
feel something; a stirring in your soul and bones… until tonight.
I
wanted
Jake so bad I oozed estrogen.
I
peeled
my shirt collar from my still damp chest in an effort to dry my shirt. At least that is what I wanted Jake to believe.
I
actually wanted
to give him a glimpse of my breasts. I wanted him to start fantasizing on what it would be like to be together.
J
ake smiled
at me and my lousy attempt to be coy. “What are you doing?” he asks.
I
tell
him I’m not trying to do anything, that I’m just sitting there minding my own business. But Jake knew the truth. I had to let him know that I was more than interested and that he would not be taking advantage of me.
“
I
need a dry shirt
,” I announce to Jake. I peel off my top as he watches from his side-eye. I let the shirt fall to the ground as I turn around and reach for my suitcase in the back seat.
I
make
sure that my ass is near his face as I reach in the back. I take my time searching for a shirt.
A
t first Jake
pretends not to notice. But then he can’t help himself. He takes his right hand and gently massages my closest cheek. I pretend not to notice as I rummage through my suitcase.
J
ake makes
an attempt to cover his arousal but he is unsuccessful. I hear a few moans as he reaches towards my stomach and slowly unties my sweatpants string.
I
shutter
with anticipation as his fingers run along the waistband of my sweatpants before he ventures inside them with his fore and index finger.
I
’m still
bent over as he widens my legs. I oblige. He takes his fingers and slowly walks them down toward by curly-cue bush that matches my hair.
H
is fingers tease
my clit as I begin to rock in ecstasy. I so want his fingers to go inside me, but I don’t say a word. He playfully bites my ass before he plunges his fingers inside me, just past his knuckles.
I
squeal
in excitement as he makes me wet. He rhythmically pulls his fingers in and out, in and out until I am about to explode. He removes his fingers and yanks my sweatpants down to reveal my panties.
H
e slips
his fingers in my panties and runs them along my crack. He pulls my panties down as he sucks his fingers dry before playfully parting my anus wide enough for a quick lick with his tongue.
T
he car swerves
to the right, we almost leave the road as we spray gravel along the side of the embankment. That only arouses us more.
I
put
it out of my mind who Jake is. He’s not related to me by blood, so it’s okay if I have to have him inside me; stepbrother or not. At least, that’s what I tell myself.
I
’ve never had
anyone tongue me in the backside before. I’m not sure if I like it or not. It caught me off guard. But I am so aroused by his touch and his tongue, that Jake could do just about anything to me and I’d let him.
I
wonder
if he’ll push the limit again? Would I be ready for that? I don’t know.
A
trucker passes
by and honks at us in approval. Jake shows off my licking my ass.
J
ake uses
his free hand to completely remove my sweatpants, but keeps my panties on. I wonder what he has in mind.
H
e massages
my crotch over my panties as I rock and twist back and forth trying to get a deeper massage and in hopes his fingers will find their way back inside my panties.
