Scarred (15 page)

“My ma raised me right,” he replied. “I can't leave you out here alone. God only knows what kind of trouble you'll attract.”

I shut the car door and locked it before joining him in the doorway.

“I think you've done your fair share of attracting trouble throughout the years. I doubt I have the corner on that market.”

“We all have skeletons in the closet,” he said, his eyes wild and intense. “I bet you have some
good
ones.”

“I've done things you couldn't imagine,” I said, stone-faced.

“I bet you have,” he said, leaning in slightly. “It's always the sweet ones you have to watch out for.”

I wasn't sure if that was an observation or an admission, but I opted not to hang around and find out; the air between us was getting way too heavy for me. Something was brewing under the surface, and it only crushed my feeble hope that Cooper had been wrong. I was surprised Scarlet didn't laugh out loud at my naivete.

Leading the way up to the studio, I felt his gaze on me the whole way. My back practically burned from the intensity of it. I needed some space, so I ducked into the bathroom for some breathing room; getting undressed in front of him seemed like a bad idea at the time. He was gone when I emerged, having already entered the studio to warm up with the others. We were auditioning that night, and everyone wanted to be at their best.

I was far too distracted to deliver that.

Pam let us run through the piece twice as a collective before she started pulling couples to audition for her and the two guest instructors who often contributed choreography to the company. The rest of us lined the back wall, watching the first duo perform from behind and in the mirrors beyond. I often found myself closing my eyes to feel the rhythm of their footfall, letting the vibrations tell the story rather than their movements. The piece was fierce, primal, and I loved how I could feel the dancers’ intensity reverberating through me as well as flowing over me. So much of dance was acting, and you had to have real emotion behind you or you couldn't sell it. The first couple was selling it, big time.

“You know it's a lot easier to see what you're up against if you actually
watch
them,” Matty whispered in my ear. The music stopped and applause broke out around us. I opened my eyes to see Pam motioning for Matty and me to go next.

“You two...let's go,” she said, walking over to cue the music. “Let's see if you still have that electric chemistry.”

I shied away from her comment, staring at my feet as I walked to my opening position. When I was finally ready, I looked up to see Matty staring at me like he was starving―and I was lunch. A flash of adrenaline hit me as the music blared through the speakers. Those first three notes seemed to draw out forever, freezing us in place, each one eying the other. Three more notes passed and the tension built. When the drums slowly crescendoed, I ran at him, hurling my body at his as was choreographed. He caught me, our faces only inches apart.

Eye to eye.

Nose to nose.

And that's when I saw it, or more accurately, I
felt
it. His beast called to mine. Scarlet growled low—a warning—but to whom I wasn't sure.

I froze, completely forgetting that I was
supposed
to be dancing. Matty wasn't doing any better. We stood there, me hanging from him like a koala bear, for at least an eight-count or two. Finally Pam cut the music, saying something about chemistry being an understatement. When I brought my attention to her, she was asking if we wanted to try it again, or did we need ten minutes in the bathroom together first. If I'd been embarrassed by her statement a few days earlier, I was mortified by that one. Matty seemed to weather it far better than I.

“I prefer the second option, but either works for me,” he said, begrudgingly putting me down.

“Ruby?” she asked, looking mildly annoyed.

“I'm fine...I just blanked for a second. Can we just run it again, please?”

She nodded and went back to the stereo. I wanted to run out of there and get a grip on myself, but that would have only made things worse, so I put on my big girl panties and did it again. I avoided looking at Matty when we lined up to start over.

We sold the shit out of that dance with grace, athleticism, and an unbridled ferocity, attacking each other like angry lovers going in for a make-up quickie. We ran, leapt, flew, crashed, and entangled our bodies to the driving beat. I forgot there was anybody else in the room. All I cared about were the happenings between us.

Dancing with Matty had always felt right; we just fit, like two pieces of a puzzle—a true pairing. That night was different, though. It went beyond the comfort and confidence we'd had in each other as both partners and dancers. That night was a purging, a confession of emotions told only through the movement of our bodies and the expressions on our faces. I shared my guilt, my sorrow. I felt his lust, his power.

Finally,
the music stopped.

I hovered over Matty's body on all fours as he lay on his back, his head turned towards the front of the room. My mouth hung open, teeth grazing his neck. It was frightening to look up and see myself in the mirror―it hit too close to home. Inelegantly, I fought my way off of him, coming to stand a few feet away, giving him room to move. I didn't offer a hand up.

“That was intense, to say the least,” Pam called from the far corner of the room. “But I'm not sure you had the emotion quite right, Ruby. You looked sad and frightened throughout most of it...not
animalistic
enough.” She smiled devilishly at me as she approached. “I needed to see more hunger, though you seemed to nail that at the end. Maybe you're not inspired unless you get to tear somebody's throat out.”

Sweat dripped down my back. It wasn't from the dancing.

“She just takes a while to get going,” Matty said, pushing himself to his feet.

“Well,” Pam said, biting her bottom lip, “I like you two for it, but we'll see. I want to see everyone before we decide.”

“Awesome,” I said, heading for the lobby. “I'll be back in a minute...forgot something in my car.”

Space—I needed it in the worst way imaginable. In my urgency to escape, I nearly went ass-over-tea-kettle down the last flight of stairs. I just couldn’t get out fast enough. I had no idea what had just occurred in that room, but I didn't like it. Or maybe I
did
like it and that was the problem.

Throwing the door open, I stumbled outside, continuing down the concrete steps as I tried to regain my footing. I plowed into my car, grabbing the passenger side door to try and steady myself.

“I'm glad you didn't do that five minutes ago,” Matty called from the doorway behind me, “cause we sure as hell wouldn't be getting the part then.”

“Matty,” I said, breathing harder than I should have been, “I need a minute. I'll be right back.”

He ignored me, slowly descending the stairs with dramatically loud footfalls.

“You're
bailing
,” he said, eying me with a disturbing glare. “Why?”

“Um...I don't know if you were paying any attention to what just happened, but those lyrics hit a
little
too close to home for me,” I said, sounding a touch unstable. “And let's not go into the more than embarrassing ball-drop we had while we just stood there, eye-fucking each other. That'll be easy to live down.”

“I thought that was more of a highlight of sorts,” he replied with a devilish grin. “It was for
me,
anyway.”

“Yeah, well...I feel like an idiot right now. I'm not going back up there until I have to.”

“Suit yourself,” he said with a shrug. “I'm staying down here with you. I can't risk trouble finding you. Remember last time?”

I cringed at his words. I remembered all too well the near-miss we’d had with some local thugs who thought they'd get a little too fresh with me. Matty had nearly gotten a beat-down, and Cooper nearly killed someone. Maybe a
few
someones. I didn't need a repeat of that with Matty in the throes of Changing; I didn't need him in jail come full moon time.

“Kinda hard to forget it, Matty,” I said, kicking a rock off the sidewalk. “I thought bodies were going to drop for sure.”

“They would have,” he said, boring holes in me with his eyes. A devilish smile played across his face, and it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. “Wouldn't have been the first time.”

He kept his eyes leveled on me, but they were distant, giving away that his mind was in the past.
We all have demons and dark sides,
he'd told me once, and, after his comment, I was pretty certain I needed to know exactly how dark those sides were.

“
First
time?” I asked delicately, my mind reeling.

He looked at me and grinned, like he thought I'd never ask. “I was fourteen. I spent some time in juvie because of it.”

“And what exactly was it that you spent time in juvie
for
?” I asked as my adrenaline surged. Scarlet stirred as though the conversation had taken an exciting enough turn to warrant her attention.

“I stabbed someone,” he started, expression unchanged. “He died a week later in the hospital from complications. I did two years and a bit, but I was let out early for good behavior, then put on parole.”

Interesting... The Boy Scout isn't all he appears to be.

“Holy
shit
, Matty!” I yelled, clapping my hand over my mouth after my words escaped. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

“It was self-defense, Ruby. I was attacked in the city. He pulled a knife on me and I got it away from him. It all happened so quickly.”

“If it was self-defense, then why did you get sent away?”

“The psychologist suggested there was evidence to support that I didn't need to actually
kill
him to get away, that there was something more to my intent than that. Seems the judge agreed.”

“Something more like what?” I asked, moving a step away from him on feet unaware of their retreat.

“Like maybe I
enjoyed
it in the slightest.” His smile made my blood run cold. “That fucker deserved what he got.”

“Matty...,” I whispered, my disbelief plain.

“But everything changed when my brother Sammy turned to drugs. Ma couldn't handle it, and I got my shit together to try and help her. When he died, I was her last hope. I wanted to be the son she'd always wanted me to be.”

“I don't even know what to say,” I replied softly, still internally freaking out. Scarlet seem far less fazed than I did.

I do... I'm glad I kept this one alive.

“What can you say?” he said, throwing his arms up. “Somehow I think you of all people can hardly cast judgment on me. I'm betting you have a body count all your own, don't you?” My lack of response spoke volumes. His hellfire eyes did too. “We have more in common than I could have imagined. Seems it's not just your boys who are rockin' the bad boy status, huh?”

I gulped hard. All I could think about was Matty's Change. Would it bring this nasty side of him back to the surface? I was loathe to even entertain the idea.

“Maybe we should head back up,” I said, making my way back to the entrance. Embarrassment beat the shit out of what I was feeling in that moment.

“You always run from any conversation that casts a nasty light on those two, don’t you?” he snarled. “I'm trying to figure out how you can be so closed off about them. Are they holding something over you?”

“Not now, Matty” I said, trying to sneak past him. He stopped me, grabbing me by my shoulder and spinning me to face him.

“I could fix your problem,” he said menacingly, pushing his face much too close to mine. “Say the word and I'll take care of it for you.”

“Matty, what the fuck? Are you
crazy
? Jesus...listen to yourself. I don't need your help, okay? My '
boys'
are fine, and whatever issues
I
have with them are
mine
and I plan on keeping them that way.”

I grabbed the door handle and pulled myself, leveraging out of his grip to make my way up to the studio. My heart raced as a direct result of what he'd said. I needed to get home and ask Cooper if the Change made you act bizarre and aggressive, both sexually and physically. I needed to be better apprised of what I was in for, and better equipped to deflect Matty's overly helpful and unwanted tendencies. He was kidding himself if he thought he was a threat to either of the boys, but I didn't want him finding that out the hard way. They wouldn't be as forgiving as I.

He followed me up, a flight or two behind me. We arrived just in time for the announcement of who nabbed the parts. Much to my surprise (and delight), it wasn't us. Maybe the universe didn't have the twisted sense of humor I thought it did.

I all but ran out to my car afterward, stopping just long enough to strip my shirt off and throw on a white tunic I had packed. I wiggled my shorts off, leaving my semi-opaque black tights on for some level of public decency. During my brief wardrobe change, I studiously avoided the mocking glances and occasional comment implying that Matty and I did much more than get some air in our absence. My skin flushed, but I had bigger fish to fry at that moment. I needed answers from Cooper and I wasn't sure I could wait the hour it was going to take me to drive home to get them.