Scarred (13 page)

“Lucky,
” Lexi laughed. “I wish I could move out.”

“Why don’t you?”

“My mom,” she sighed.

“Oh.” I cocked my head. “Well maybe you can move out
, too.”

“I don’t thi
nk that’s a good idea right now,” Luke frowned.

“I think it would
be fun. You’re mom is too crazy,” Anna laughed.

“You don’t know
what you’re talking about Anna,” Luke admonished her.

“Oh God forbid
Lexi moves,” Anna said, bitterly.

“Guys.”
Lexi rolled her eyes and grinned at me. “Who knew my moving would be such a big issue? But I’m twenty-two; I want to be on my own now. In my own place.”

“I agree.” I linked my arm through hers and walked towards the kitc
hen. “I think its weird that so many of us still live at home in our twenties. What happened to wanting independence?”

“
The economy,” Lexi laughed and I smiled at her honesty.

“Oh
, money.” I nodded.

“I don’t think you have a problem with money though
, Bryce,” Luke interjected. “At least you never did in high school.”

“Well my parents were responsible for my upkeep then.” I kept my tone normalized.

“You and your friends always seemed so entitled,” he continued.

“Luke.”
Lexi turned around and punched her friend in the arm and I felt a wave of jealousy roll through me. I didn’t like to see Lexi touching another guy, especially not a guy I knew had the hots for her.

“Hey
, Bryce, let’s do shots, man,” Ryan called out to me as we walked into the kitchen.

“Sure, what do you want?”

“You got any Tequila?”

“Mom?”

“Look in your father’s bar.” She looked at me and her eyes widened as she looked at Lexi, Anna and Luke. “Hi, I’m Bryce’s mom. I’m not sure we’ve met before.”

“Hi, I’m
Lexi.” Lexi flushed and I knew she was embarrassed. “These are my best friends Luke and Anna.”

“Nice to meet you all.” My mom smiled a weaker smile this time and tapped her forehead. “Alright guys, I’m headed up to bed now.”

“You don’t have to go, mom.”

“I’m sure y’all will have a better time without me.” She quickly exited the kitchen and I frowned. Something in her mood had changed.

“Evans, turn the music up and let’s do some shots,” Ryan shouted and I hurried to my father’s study, with both Suzannah and Luke staring at me intensely.

I walked into my dad’s study and quickly looked through the bar to see what liquor he had. “The pa
rty looks like it is going well,” he said, smarmily, and I sighed as I looked up.

“It’s going fine.”

“Interesting choice of party guests.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.”

“I didn’t realize you liked to mix with the other side of town.”

“The other side of town?” I frowned.

“The riff-raff.”

“I guess I got it from you then.” I stared into his eyes coldly.

“Then you’ll know they are good for a quick fuck and that’s it.”

“It’s never a quick fuck when I’m in the bed.” We stared at each other in silence
, until I heard someone clearing their throat. I looked towards the door and saw Luke staring there and sighed inwardly. I wondered how much he had heard.

“Can I help you
, Luke?”

“
Lexi thought you might need some help, but it seems like you and your father are otherwise entertained.” He gave me a disgusted look and walked out of the door.

“Fuck,
” I cursed under my breath. I could only hope that Luke wasn’t going to go straight to Lexi to tell her what he had heard. I knew that the words did nothing to help my cause. I could feel myself starting to panic. I needed to be alone for a bit. To think and to relax. I knew, from the war, that when I felt like this it was better for me to be alone. I quickly exited the room and ran upstairs to my room. I ran into my room and pulled out two pills and downed them quickly. I wasn’t supposed to mix them with alcohol, but I knew I wouldn’t be okay without them. I already felt like I was falling out of control. I splashed some water on my face and lay down on my bed and counted to ten. I quickly checked my reflection in the mirror and then ran down the stairs again.

“Hey
, Evans, where you been? Where’s the tequila?”

“Sorry. We didn’t have any. Just beer tonight
, guys.” I smiled apologetically and looked to make eye contact with Lexi. She smiled at me sweetly and I felt my nerves stop. “Who’s ready to party?” I shouted, suddenly happy and I pulled Meg into my arms. “Let’s dance, folks.” We worked our way into the backyard, by the pool and blasted the music and danced.

“Hey
, cutie.” I sidled up to Lexi as she walked into the kitchen to get a drink. “Can I get you anything?”

“No, I’m
fine, thanks.”

“I’m sorry our
first date is at a packed party,” I whispered in her ear.

“This is a date?” She raised an eyebrow at me.

“I hope so,” I grinned and stroked her hair. “I really hope so.” I felt my heart pounding as I stared at her. My head felt like it was going to explode and I knew my body was reacting from the alcohol and the pills.

“Well, I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“Good.” I leaned over and stroked her collarbone. “I wish it were just you and me right now. I’d love to take you upstairs and have my wicked way with you.”

“Oh really?” She blushed.

“Yes. Do you know what I would do to you?”

“No.” Her words were a whisper and I traced my fingers across her luscious and full lips.

“Well, I’d better show you.” I leaned down and kissed her softly, melting into her embrace. Kissing her felt so good and all I wanted was to consume her. I needed her like I needed air to breathe. I brought her head in closer to mine and stuck my tongue in her mouth. She kissed me back, passionately and sweetly, and pushed her body into mine. I pushed her back against the cupboards and I could feel my body stirring with lust. I wanted her: here, now, immediately. I felt my hand run up the back of her dress and I could feel her heart pounding beneath me.

“Bryce, what’s going on?”
Suzannah’s voice cried out behind me and I sighed as I turned around and saw her, Meg and Mary standing behind me. “That’s the girl you’re seeing?” She looked back and forth from me to Lexi and frowned, disbelieving. “You have got to be joking.”

“
Suzannah.” My voice was harsh. “Shut up.”

“Don’t tell me to shut up.”

“I swear Suzannah.” My voice rose and I felt my face flushing with anger.

“You swear what?” She smiled an evil smile.

“Bryce.” Lexi touched my arm and looked at me with concern. “It’s okay.”

“Listen to your little pauper girlfriend
, Bryce,” Suzannah laughed. “You can’t expect me to believe you’d rather be with her than with me.”

“Get the fuck out of my house.” I banged my hand down on the counter. My head was pounding and everyone was starting to look blurred.

“You’re only dating her because you feel guilty that your best friend tried to rape her and then killed himself.” Suzannah’s voice rang out loud and clear and the room was silent.

I turned to look at
Lexi and her face was white with shock and embarrassment. I touched her shoulder and she recoiled from me with a hurt look in her eyes. “I didn’t tell her, Lexi,” I pleaded with her. I couldn’t have her thinking I told anyone. “It was Eddie.”

“It’s okay,” s
he whispered, with unshed tears in her eyes. “I should go.”

“No.” I pleaded with my eyes. “I was hoping you would stay tonight.”

“No. I should go.” She looked faint and my surroundings started to sway.

“
Lexi, please.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Let it go, Bryce.” Luke pushed past me and grabbed Lexi. “I’ll take you home.”

“Thanks
, Luke.” She gave him a huge smile and he gathered her in his arms and they walked towards the front door. I watched as they left and felt something inside of me crumble. I was coming apart. The pills hadn’t worked. I wondered if I should take two more.

“Hey
, Bryce. I’m always here for you.” Suzannah smiled and purred up at me and Mary winked at me. I felt nauseous and couldn’t believe I had put up with these girls in high school.

“Hey
, what’s going on everyone?” Anna walked into the kitchen with a huge smile and a buzzed look on her face.

“Your friends just left, rat face.”
Suzannah laughed at her.

“What?” Anna frowned.

“Lexi and Luke left.” Suzannah laughed. “Ha, even their names go together. I guess they do make a cute couple.”

“They aren’t together.” Anna and I spoke at the same time and I gave her a small smile.

“Do you really think they’re not going home to fuck right now?” Suzannah laughed. “You two are soo gullible. I’m sure they’ve been fuck buddies for years.”

“Wash your mouth out
, Suz,” I growled at her. I turned away from her and walked up the stairs quickly. I needed to lie down for a second. My head was pounding and I could barely keep my eyes open.

***

I woke up in the middle of the night in pitch black and confused. I couldn’t really remember the events of the night before and I wasn’t sure how I had gotten in bed. But I sensed immediately that there was a naked woman next to me. I could feel her body pressed up against mine and I stilled. I turned to peek at her face, but it was so dark that I wasn’t sure who it was.

All I could remember was that
Lexi had left with Luke and Suzannah telling me that Lexi and Luke had been fuck buddies for years. Lexi had fooled me by telling me she was a virgin. I had always suspected that she and Luke had more going on than they pretended to have. I felt a jolt of pain dart through my heart and I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to think about Lexi. I couldn’t afford to think about Lexi. She was nothing to me. She didn’t want me now and if she knew the truth about the night with Eddie, she wouldn’t want me then either.

I reached over and pulled the woman closer to me and closed my eyes as I ran my hands up and down her naked body. She groaned as she woke up and leaned over to kiss me. The kiss wasn’t especially sensual
, but it was filled with need. I kissed her hard and she kissed me back hard. She ran her hands up and down my chest and I rolled her over onto her back. I still had my jeans on, so I undid them and pulled them off, throwing them across the floor. I didn’t think about what I was doing. I just did it.

As I reached down and slid into her, I felt my body go numb. I moved in and out like a robot as she groaned under me. She wriggled ag
ainst me and grabbed me, yet I felt nothing for this unknown woman. Only the need to relieve myself of my pent up frustration. I was disgusted with myself for having sex with this woman, when my heart was with another. I finished quickly and pulled out, as I was about to finish. I rolled over and lay in the bed with my back to her. She cuddled up to me and I sighed. I’d have to have a talk with Suzannah in the morning. I’d have to tell her that this meant nothing and I didn’t want to be back with her. Just because Lexi had someone else didn’t mean I was just going to settle.

My head was aching when I finally woke up in the morning. The sunlight streaming through my window roused me out of my sleep. I stretched and immediately stilled as I felt the naked body pressed up against me. I went to slide out of the bed but I felt her hand reach around and grab me. I sighed as I turned towards
Suzannah, hoping she wasn’t going to make this more difficult than it needed to be.

“Morning,” she whispered as she kissed my back and I pushed her hand away from me. I didn’t want her to mistake my morning hardness for wanting her.

“Morning.” I turned over, ready to have the conversation and my heart stilled as I made eye contact. I felt my heart sink and my eyes widen as I saw who was in my bed. It wasn’t Suzannah who had decided to stay the night and, as I closed my eyes, I wondered how the hell I was going to get out of this mess.

Chapter 13

“I’ve come to take you out for pancakes.” Luke showed up at my door bright and early with a huge smile.

“Ugh. I just want to go back to sleep,” I groaned and let him in.

“No more sleeping.”

“Let me sleep, jail warden.” I stuck my tongue out at him and rubbed my head. “I have a headache and I just want to forget last night.”

“
Lexi, at least you know now, before it’s too late.” Luke’s voice was calm and patient.

“What?” I sighed. “That Bryce told the whole school my business, that everyone thinks I’m the reason why Eddie killed himself, which I may be
, or because Bryce seems to have an anger/alcohol problem?”