Scarred (16 page)

“I don’t want to wait anymore.”

“It’s about the night with Eddie.”

“Huh?” She looked up at me in surprise and her hand dropped away from my shorts. “What about it?”

“It was the reason why I knew where you were going to be.”

“You mean, when you saved me?” She looked confused.

“Yeah.” I sighed and looked away in shame. “You see, I already knew that Eddie was going to get you away from the dance that night. We had planned it. Not the rape. I would never have agreed to that. But he was meant to sort of scare you. Rough up your dress with some mud. We just wanted you to rush home and be upset. That was it.”

“You knew he was going to try and rape me?” She looked at me with huge eyes and pulled away from me.

“No.” I looked at her, earnestly. “He was just meant to rough you up in some mud. Nothing to hurt you. I swear. But when I realized you were gone a long time, I started to worry that something had gone wrong, so I came to look for you.”

“He was trying to pull down my underwear.” She looked at me with a pained look on
her face. “He had me down on the ground so I couldn’t move and he was trying to pull my underwear down.”

“I’m so sorry
, Lexi. I never ever meant for that to happen. You have to believe me. Please.” I grabbed her hands and pulled her towards me. “I love you, Lexi.”

“You nearly had me raped?” Her voice was distant and she looked at me in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

“Remember my letters?” I pleaded with her. “Remember I told you about something that went horribly wrong and I blamed myself for it? I was talking about that night.”

“So it was just Eddie?”

“Yes.” I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down. “He wasn’t supposed to do that. We argued terribly after that. I cut him off. I wouldn’t talk to him. He then slept with Suzannah and I told him I never wanted to see him again. And then he killed himself.” I heard the words as if someone else was saying them. “I honestly don’t know how it all led to that. I loved him like a brother. He was always there for me. And I turned my back on him, just like everyone else.”

“It wasn’t your fault that he killed himself
, Bryce.” She grabbed my hand and pulled in close to me. “Just like it wasn’t my fault.”

“I could have done more. I shouldn’t have put him in that situation.” I held her close to me as my tears ran into her hair. “He never should have died.”

“So that’s why you joined the marines?” she whispered.

“I had to. I had screwed up too many times. I had hurt so many people. I didn’t want to be my father
’s son anymore.”

“You’re not your dad
, Bryce.”

“I nearly was
, Lexi.”

“But you’re not.” She pulled away from me and stared into my eyes. “I love you to
o, Bryce. I forgive you.” She leaned over and kissed me and I melted into her with gratitude, holding her close to my heart. I felt myself become aroused as her breasts crushed into my chest.

“You don’t know how much those words mean to me
, Lexi.” I traced my fingers all over her body and she went still, breathing deeply. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, Lexi.”

“I do.” She opened her eyes and looked at me sweetly. “But I don’t as well.”

“I can wait.” I smiled at her, widely. “I could wait a lifetime for you.”

“Well I don’t think yo
u’ll have to wait a lifetime,” she grinned.

“I promise, no more secrets.
” I gazed into her eyes and tried to blank out the events of the previous night.

“No more secrets.” She pulle
d me towards her and kissed me hard. I heard both of our heartbeats loudly beating in conjunction.

Chapter 15

I
lay against Bryce and felt complete. I was surprised at how easy it had been to forgive him for what he had told me. I had been shocked, but I felt like he must love me very much if he had told me. He didn’t have to tell me, there was no way I would have found out. I couldn’t believe that he was here in my bed. I’d dreamt of this happening for what seemed like years. I’d never imagined that it would actually come to fruition. And yet, I wasn’t completely happy. I still had an ache in my heart. I looked to my window, glad that my blinds were drawn and that Luke couldn’t see Bryce in the room with me.

“What do you want to do this afternoo
n?” Bryce smiled at me as he cupped my breast.

“I’m not sure.” I turned towards him. “What do you want to do?”

“Hmm, maybe I shouldn’t answer that.”

“I wouldn’t say no.” I grinned.

“I want it to be special.” He ran his fingers through my hair. “I want your first time to be romantic, and special and I want there to be fireworks.”

“I think I can hear some fireworks now.”

“Don’t tease me, Lexi. You’re driving me crazy.” He laughed and rolled out of the bed. “Let’s get dressed and go out somewhere.”

“You don’t want to stay in bed?” I looked up at him and made my sexiest face.

“If you keep looking at me like that, we will never leave the bed.” He laughed and pulled up his pants. “Let’s go and do something fun.”

“Fine.” I grabbed my bra and pulled it on.

“Well you didn’t have to do that.” He laughed.

“Oh
, I forgot, you haven’t seen naked breasts in years have you?” I laughed and he turned away from me.

“Shall we go to a farm?”

“That would be fun.” I laughed and grabbed my phone. “Let me call Anna and see if she wants to come. I feel so bad but we left her at your house yesterday.”

“I’m sure she got home okay.” Bryce
turned around quickly. “Can’t it just be us today?”

“Well, sure. I just want to make sure she is okay before we leave.”
I started dialing the numbers. Bryce grabbed my hands and pushed me down on the bed, kissing me intensely, and I melted into him again, feeling things in my body that I had never felt before.

“I want the day to be about us.”
He caressed my face. “Go away with me.”

“What?” I frowned. “Th
at was like two thoughts in one,” I laughed.

“Let’s go away together. Just you and me.”

“I have to work, Bryce. I have a job. Plus I’m Anna’s ride to work. I can’t just take off like that.”

“Don’t you ever just want to be adventurous?” He kissed my neck. “I have money saved from my time in the Marines. We could go to Hawaii or London or Australia, anywhere you want to go.”

“I’d like to go to Los Angeles,” I laughed. “I’d like to go and see some stars.”

“So let’s go.”

“Maybe in a few weeks? I can ask for the time off.”

“I was thinking like now.” He laughed and lay back on the bed.

“Are you okay, Bryce?”

“Yeah,” h
e groaned. “This is wonderful. I’m just anxious.”

“Why?” I frowned at him.

“I just feel like it can’t be this easy. We can’t just find each other and be together so easily. I just feel like life doesn’t work this way for me.”

“You took the words out of my mouth.” I sighed and sat up. “There is something you need to know
, Bryce.”

“Uh oh,” h
e groaned. “Do I want to hear this?”

“I don’t know.” I bit my lip and thought for a moment. “I don’t know if it’s my place to tell you this.”

“Oh shit. Why do I think I’m about to come crashing back to reality?”

“So you know our parents dated for a few years.”

“I know they cheated for a few years.”

I tried not to let his words bother me and I continued. “Do you know why they broke up?”

“My dad found someone new?” Bryce laughed, bitterly. “Did he move onto a younger and better looking model?”

“Hey.” I
poked him in the arm, hard.

“Sorry
, but isn’t that what normally happens?”

“I don’t know. My dad isn’t in my life.” My voice was bitter and upset and he looked at me in concern.

“Sorry, Lexi, I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“It’s okay.” I smiled at him quickly, not wanting to ruin the easy camaraderie we had. But I was upset. He was being quite rude about my mother, ruder than I thought he had the right to be.

“So why did my philanderer dad and your slutty mom break up?”

“My mom’s not a slut
, Bryce.”

“Well she knew my dad was married
, right? Who in Jonesville doesn’t know the Mayor is married with a golden child?”

“You’re not exactly a golden child though
, are you?”

“I’ve
made some mistakes, yes,” he sighed. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m choosing the wrong words. I’m just anxious to hear what you have to say.”

“We have a sister.”

“Just please tell me, wait, what?” He frowned at me. “Please, dear God, tell me you are not my sister.”

“I’m not your sister.” I laughed. “That would be gross.”

“Okay, so repeat what you said.” He wiped his temple.

“We have a younger sister.”

“We have a sister?” He looked around the room and I laughed.

“She doesn’t live here.”

“Well she doesn’t live at my house either.”

“She’s at the Jonesville orphanage.”

“The orphanage?” He frowned. “Why?”

“Because they didn’t want her
, obviously. It’s not like your dad was going to leave your mom to come marry my mom and raise their bastard child.”

“So why didn’t she raise her by herself? She raised you as a single mom
, right?”

“Why should she hold the responsibility to raise their child?” My voice rose.
“That’s a really unfair thing to say.”

“I’m not blaming her.” He tried to hold my hand and I pulled away.

“Well, it’s not her fault.” I frowned. “Anyways, we have a sister and she’s four now.”

“What’s her name?” He tried to sidle up to me and I stood up.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” He looked at me in disbelief.

“I don’t know anything about her. I just know she’s at the orphanage.”

“And you’ve never be
en there to see her or anything?”

“No. Have you?”

“I didn’t know.”

“Now you do.” I stood there with my arms crossed against my heaving chest. I felt like crying. I didn’t understand why we were arguing like this.

“I’m sorry, Lexi.” He came up to me and held his arms out stiffly. “I’m trying to be a better guy.” He gave me a winning smile and I went into his arms, though his embrace didn’t comfort me as much as I thought it would.

I realized
, at that point, that I wanted Luke. I wanted him to hold me close and to sing a silly song to make me better. I closed my arms. I missed Luke. I didn’t understand why he couldn’t be happy for me. I was here, happy and in love with Bryce. Bryce Evans. The quarterback of the football team. The guy every girl in high school had wanted to be with. The guy who I had dreamt about for years. The blond God of my dreams. Why couldn’t he understand that I finally felt like a someone. People in Jonesville would respect me now. They would actually know who I was. I would be a somebody.

“So what do you think?” Bryce whispered in my ear and I blinked up at him.

“Sorry, what?”

“Shall we go to Harper
s Creek?”

“You want to go to the Creek?” I was surprised at his words.

“Yeah. We can go and just relax, maybe do some fishing. Just the two of us.”

“I guess so.” I paused. “Don’t you want to talk about our sister?”

“No, not right now.” He frowned. “I don’t blame you for keeping this a secret, Lexi.”

“I feel so guilty.” I looked up at him. “I feel like I should do something for her.
Tell someone about her.”

“Who are you going to tell?” He shook his head. “There’s nothing we can do
, Lexi. It’s probably best you kept it a secret.”

“It doesn’t feel right.” I cried out. “I don’t feel right. This has been haunting me for years.” I couldn’t believe that he wasn’t more upset or astounded.

“I forgive you, Lexi. It’s okay.”

“Thanks.” I turned away from him. I didn’t need his forgiveness. That wasn’t why I had been anxious. I was worried because I thought he would want to confront our parents and demand that they do better for our sister. I couldn’t believe that he just didn’t seem to care.

“I was thinking we could go to the Creek and talk about the letters.” He smiled and me and his blue eyes sparkled. “I still can’t believe that you are Miss. I was looking for you.”

“Wait
, what?” I frowned. “How did you figure out it was me? What part of the letters?”

“
Lexi, every word you wrote should have told me it was you.” He kissed my forehead. “We were fated to be together.”