Scarred Beauty (21 page)

She smiled at him, her heart slowing down as her
nerves were replaced by the warmth of the family. “I’ve been doing well. I’ve
got a collector or an auctioneer or whatever you call it who wants to sell my
art work, which is amazing, I think.”

“You were never one for finding out all the
proper names of people.”

They both laughed. Their bond was still fragile,
and the threat of it breaking kept them in check.

“Nothing much else has happened.”

“What about this argument I’ve heard from your
friend Brad?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” She’d ignored
his calls, and she hadn’t bothered to tell her she was going to see her
parents. She missed Brad. He was like a constant presence in her life, and not
being around him upset her. She wanted to make sure he was coping okay with her
absence.

“Men?”

Noelle blushed as she thought about Isaac. No
matter what she tried to do she couldn’t get him out of her head.

“I met someone, but he wasn’t who he said he
was.”

“Then he’s no good for you.”

She smiled and stared at her dad. He took her
hand and smiled back at her. Licking her lips, she knew she had to say the
words she’d been feeling for some time.

“I blamed you.” She blurted out. He gasped, and
the hand holding hers tightened. Instead of stopping, she continued. “Since the
accident which gave me this,” she moved her hand over her face, “I’ve hated you
for it. I felt that if it wasn’t for your selfishness, I wouldn’t be scarred,
and none of this would have happened.”

He went to speak, and she held her hand up to
stop him.

“Please, let me finish. This has been ten years
in the making, and I think I need to get it off my chest. I promise I didn’t
come here to start a fight or to make you feel bad.”

He nodded his head and continued to hold her
hand.

“I never wanted to see you again and laid the
blame at your feet for this whole thing. Over the past few months I’ve come to
see that it was really no one’s fault. What happened, happened, and I don’t
want to spend the rest of my life being bitter for something that I can’t
change. I love you, dad, and I forgive you.”

He held her close, and the bond between them
began to mend. Noelle closed her eyes as she thought about everything she had
missed. She wasn’t just thinking about the last two years but what she’d missed
since the accident. Time truly could heal old wounds.

With that thought in mind, she wondered if she
could forgive Isaac. In the moments of being in her father’s arms she knew she
could forgive him.

****

Noelle spent the next couple of days with her
family. Her cousins were visiting from up north, and the family were having
several trips down memory lane. She didn’t see her father drink once during
their time together. He took her out to the local diner, and they ate together
mending the barrier that had been erected between them. She knew she had to go
back home but had promised to return for Christmas.
 

On the day before her last, she was clearing
away the dishes when the door bell rang. Her mother went to answer it as her
dad and cousins were getting ready to watch a movie. Noelle put some condiments
away in the cupboard.

“Noelle, a gentleman is here to see you.” Her
family charged toward the porch to see the man who’d come to call on her.
Shaking her head and smiling at the same time she went to see who had decided
to visit. She stopped when she saw Brad at the door. He looked pale and
terrified. Staring at him, she knew something was wrong. His whole demeanour
was off. When he saw her, she saw the relief flash across his face.

“Everyone, I’d like you to meet Bradley Welch.
He’s my friend who I shared an apartment with in the city.”

They all offered him thanks.

“Let’s leave Noelle with her friend. He looks
like he wants to speak to her alone,” her father said.

She watched her family leave. When she thought
about seeing Brad, she imagined it would have been in privacy. Taking his hand,
she noted how clammy he felt to the touch, and took him to the dining room.

****

Brad took a deep breath as her family left. The
people were making him nervous. Since leaving Ben at the cemetery he’d been
lost. He’d spent the last few days trying to find the only rock he had in his
life.

Her touch made him nervous. Could she feel the
change inside him?

She dropped his hand and began clearing away the
table. He followed her around, unsure of how to ask for her help.
 

“I need to talk to you, Noelle,” Brad said. His
hands were shaking. He was so close to falling off the wagon. He needed his
tower of strength, the one woman who’d stood by him through thick and thin.
Isaac was a mess from her loss, and he knew the only thing to keep him from
going under was Noelle.

“I don’t want to talk to you. You interfered in
my life, Brad. That kind of shit you don’t forgive. Why did you come out here?”
She slammed around the room putting away jars of pickles. The rest of her
family sat in the sitting room. They’d given her privacy while he visited.

“I know I fucked up,” he said. Getting his
brother to play the role of being an escort had been a mistake. He should have
introduced them like a normal couple. Instead, he’d been a bastard and gone
behind her back.

“Yeah. You fucked up in a big way. I can’t
believe you did that to me,” she said.

Brad heard the words while he was nervous about
what he had hiding in his jacket. The burning inside him grew.

“Help me,” he asked.

“What?”

“I’m really sorry, and the only consolation I
can give you right now is that Isaac does love you. I know you don’t believe
me, but, Noelle, I need your help.”

He’d gotten her attention as he began to close
up inside. The struggle to breathe began as he saw the grave-stone in his head.
Through his own useless acts, he’d been responsible for the death of a wife and
child. He hadn’t been able to talk to Ben. He’d left Ben to go to his apartment
and find Noelle.

Staring at his friend the usual peace he felt
was failing him. The desire to grab what was inside his jacket and lose himself
was strong.

“I can’t handle it anymore. I need your help.”

“What’s going on, Brad?” The tears began to well
in his eyes as the hunger gripped him.

One sniff
and one drink, and you’ll be at peace. No more remembering. Just the sweet
bliss of oblivion.

He shook all over from the effort to try to hold
it inside.

He was failing.

Chapter
Twenty-Four

“What’s going on, Brad?” she asked again.

Noelle watched as he pulled the spirit bottle
out of his jacket along with a couple of hits of some drug. She saw the white
powder and knew it was cocaine.

“What the fuck?” She grabbed his arm, pulled him
out of the house and down to the shed at the bottom of the garden.

Taking his jacket off, she checked his arms for any
signs of open track marks, her heart pounding the whole time. For the past
couple of weeks she hadn’t been able to keep her food down. She felt dizzy from
the movement and ended up leaning against him for support.

“What’s the matter, Noelle?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I just came over a little
light-headed.”

“I shouldn’t have bought this problem to you. It
was unfair.” Brad went to grab his jacket. Her dizziness subsided, and she
slapped his hand. Then she slapped his face.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, you asshole?”

“I ruined Ben’s life,” he said. His tears
returned with full force.

“What?”

“He holds me responsible for the death of his
wife. She found out about us when I was hyped up on drugs. She crashed into a
tree killing herself and the baby she carried in the process. Ben will never
forgive me.” He cried, collapsed to his knees, and sobbed against her waist.

Noelle couldn’t help the tears which came as she
mourned for Ben and his wife, and she mourned for her friend as well.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Brad said over and over
again.

She held him through his pain. Looking down at
the white powder in her hand she planned to dispose of it later. Putting it
into her back pocket, she wrapped her arms around him.

“I’ve got you, Brad. Let it all go.”

Closing her eyes, she tried to deal with
everything he was telling her. Ben had been married, and he had an affair with
Brad. The whole sordid affair had come out while Brad had been in one of his
high alcohol and drug moments.

“How could I have been so stupid? I’ve broken
him, Noelle. There is nothing I can do to make it right.”

“I don’t ever want to hear you talking like that
again, Bradley Welch. Do you hear me? You’re not responsible for the death of
someone else’s wife. Ben should know better, and I’m disappointed in him for
blaming you,” Noelle said.

He went to grab the drugs and alcohol, but she
held it out of his reach. “Give me my fucking stuff,” he said, his anger coming
through. She’d seen this side of him before. Grabbing the bottle of alcohol,
she smashed it on the tiles in the corner. The dark liquid soaked down and into
the wood.

“If you want that, lick it up like a dog, Brad,”
she said. Her heart pounded as she spoke the words. Taking a deep breath, she
captured his face in her hands forcing him to look at her. “You don’t think you
know what you can do to make it right? Well, for once I’d say you fucking pull
your shit together and be the Brad he’s come to know. Ben deserves the man you
are right now. A strong man, not a man who’s more interested in his own
problems than that of the man he claims to love.”

The words were harsh, but being the best of
friends she knew she had the right to say them.

“Ben was alone while you dealt with your
problems. Don’t leave him alone now. He needs you more now than ever before. Be
strong, Brad. Be the man I know you can be.”

He stared at her for several minutes. Neither
spoke, and she waited for him to process everything.

Eventually, the tears fell once again, and he
wrapped his arms around her.

“I love you, Noelle,” he said.

“I love you, too.”

“Come home.”

She didn’t think she would want to live with him
again, but seeing him so lost had changed her mind. “We’ll go home. Come on. I
want you to meet my family.”

Taking him by the hand, she took him to meet her
family. The people helped with his situation, and he spent the night on her
floor before they left in the morning. She disposed of the drugs the moment he
was occupied.

When they got home, Noelle was too preoccupied
by the upcoming auction to give Isaac a call. She saw several newspapers and
magazines with pictures of him with flawless actresses and models. Knowing she
couldn’t compete with such beauty, she threw herself into her work.

Brad spent a great deal of time at the
apartment. The youth centre had called and offered him a job. She asked for
them to keep it on hold as he was dealing with his own problems at the moment.

Spending time with him was essential. She’d gone
to the club and told Ben about his episode. The other man looked so unhappy.
Noelle convinced Ben to give him time. Brad would get stronger, and then Ben
wouldn’t know what to do with his time.

Most of her nights were spent thinking about
Isaac. She would wake up flustered as her dreams were filled with erotic
images. The love within them was so apparent. She missed him and didn’t know if
she could handle a lifetime without his touch.

On the day of the auction, she left Brad at home
and travelled to the art gallery where it was being held. On the way there she
stopped off at a pharmaceutical shop and picked up a pregnancy test.

For several mornings she’d been waking up with
sickness. Part of her didn’t want to be pregnant because of the conflict
between her and Isaac. Another part of her was so happy at the thought of carrying
his child. Either way, she would have to deal with that hurdle when it came.

There were many people inside the gallery,
looking at her paintings among other items. She left to go to the bathroom.
Several women were giggling and putting on make-up. Noelle ignored their
presence. She pulled out the pregnancy test from her bag.

She read through the instructions and then
followed the directions. Peeing on the stick was the strangest feeling in the
world. Her hands shook with terror at what the little white science stick would
say.

Women walked in and out, distracting her from
what she was doing. Noelle watched the clock for the three minutes the stick
required. With every passing second her hand shook. She kept looking at the
stick and then at her watch. Keeping her eyes on her watch she waited for the
three minutes to finish before turning back to the stick.